Chapter 3
"I'm sorry, Chancellor, but I must decline your generous appointment."
Palpatine's shocked expression was one that Anakin had never seen. Darkness lurked behind that amazed, disappointed gaze. Darkness that hadn't expected him to defer the appointment. For him to refuse one of the very fundamental desires that pushed him as a Jedi was not something expected. Anakin shifted uncomfortably where he stood on the other side of the Chancellor's desk. "I'm flattered you think me capable of this appointment, that you would recommend me so highly to that which I desire, but I cannot accept."
"Why ever not, Anakin?" There was no disguising the disappointment in Palpatine's voice, and Anakin wondered if he'd misread the emotions in the older man's gaze moments before. The cherished expression of the friend he'd come to trust and rely on was once again concerned and benign. Benign if you didn't know that this very man had ordered him to go against all of the things he's trained so hard for. "You deserve it, surely you can see that."
Anakin flushed. "I would prefer to be appointed to the Council on my own merits, you Excellency, not on your recommendation."
"Ah, I see." Palpatine rose from his chair and moved around the desk, motioning for Anakin to walk with him. "Pride is so rare in a Jedi, Anakin. I had thought you would be overjoyed to serve on the Council. There is no other Jedi I trust more than you."
"I'm flattered, your Excellency. I regret that I cannot accept, but I have obligations that would interfere with such an appointment."
"Obligations?" Palpatine looked at him curiously "I am very interested to know what could possibly interfere with an appointment to the Council."
"They're personal obligations, your Excellency."
"More secrets?" Palpatine slanted a look at Anakin. "It's very unusual for a Jedi to have secrets."
"Some are necessary, your Excellency." Anakin was beginning to feel increasingly ill at ease with the direction of the conversation. Even the Chancellor, for all he'd trusted the man, didn't know about his marriage to Padmé. "Forgive me, but I have many tasks to complete today and time passes quickly. I felt you deserved to know first thing this morning that I could not accept the appointment."
"You will still keep me up to date on the progress of the war?"
"Of course." Anakin smiled. "I dislike disappointing you."
"I'm not disappointed with you, Anakin; just your decision. But I believe I understand why you cannot accept. I will simply have to modify my plans a little, that's all."
Anakin stopped near the exit and bowed. "Good day, your Excellency. Thank you for understanding."
"Good day, Anakin."
Anakin turned and left the Chancellor's office, making his way through the corridors and headed for the Jedi Temple. He'd been called before the Council to make his follow-up report about the outer-rim sieges. He suspected they'd also touch on the Chancellor's offer as the offer of an appointment wouldn't have been made without their approval. His pace didn't change as he left the Senate building.
He'd long ago gotten over the nervousness of facing the council, but this meeting would be different, and he couldn't quite calm the churning of his stomach. He only hoped the Masters would accept his explanation as easily as the Chancellor had. Even as he thought it, he knew he was dreaming. The Council would push, and he would have to push back.
He simply wasn't yet ready to give up his hard-earned title of Jedi Knight.
"Discuss Jedi Skywalker's appointment to this Council, we must." Yoda broached the topic that Anakin had been dreading with typical bluntness as soon as their questions about the sieges were finished. "Allow this appointment lightly, the Jedi Council does not."
He hid a smile, managing to keep his composure until they paused, expecting an answer and then bowed to Yoda. "You will forgive me Master, but I believe you have made a mistake."
"A mistake, young Skywalker?"
Anakin wondered if Yoda ever got beyond mildly interested when confronted. Did Masters ever get annoyed? "Yes, Master. I have declined the appointment from the Chancellor."
"Declined?" Mace's tone was positively shocked.
Anakin fought to keep a straight face, glancing around and taking in the expressions of the Masters. They were befuddled, confused that one so young had declined an appointment to the Council. Had declined the prestige and privilege of serving on the Jedi Council? It was unfathomable. All but Obi-Wan, whose eyes glittered with dark humor, the amusement of the moment not beyond his comprehension.
It gave Anakin a perverse sense of pleasure that Obi-Wan found this as amusing as he did. "Yes, Master Windu. I spoke with the Chancellor this morning to inform him of my decision. It is a great honor to be asked to sit among the most powerful and respected Jedi in the galaxy. While I feel that my raw abilities are a match many of yours, and I am powerful in my own right, I have more yet to learn before I take a seat among you. Don't misunderstand me; I intend to sit on the Council one day, Masters. I simply expect to get here on my own merits."
"Modest you are not." Yoda nodded once. "But wisdom you have gained if turn down this appointment you have."
"Is that your final decision, Skywalker?" Mace didn't appear impressed with his bravado, but Anakin had phrased his words carefully. Just enough bravado to keep them from asking further questions. Bravado that appeared to have worked.
"It is, Master."
"Then perhaps you'll answer one question before you're dismissed."
Anakin inclined his head. "To the best of my abilities, Master."
Mace regarded him carefully, his fingers steepling together as he assessed the younger Jedi. "Are those the only reasons you are declining this appointment?"
Anakin smiled faintly. "Forgive me for saying so, Master, but are you more relieved I have declined, or would you like me to change my mind?"
"Answer the question."
Anakin bit back a sharp retort, keeping a tight reign on his temper even as resentment flared for a brief moment. It was better than giving in to panic. "Immediately, Master." He paused, collecting his thoughts and phrased his words carefully. "No decision is ever made based on a single factor. However, sitting on the Council when I do not feel I have yet earned the position would be fraudulent. It would go against everything I have worked for, everything I was..." he paused, meeting Obi-Wan's gaze. "Everything I was taught was right. While it is not my sole reason, it is by far the most significant."
"Well said." Plo Kloon nodded.
Mace didn't appear to believe him, but finally nodded reluctantly. "May the Force be with you, Skywalker."
"And with you, Masters." Anakin exited the room, a weight lifting off his shoulder as the doors closed behind him, sealing him out of the Council chamber rather than inside. He felt as if something had snapped and pressure had been released. As if he'd just passed a crucial hurdle to avoiding the future in his dreams and he didn't understand why. What could possibly have been so wrong about sitting on the Council of the most fair individuals in the Galaxy?
He didn't know, but he wasn't about to question it. He checked his chrono, hiding a grimace. The Senate would be in session and Padmé would be occupied for most of the day, leaving him to his own devices. A thought occurred, and he picked his path.
Padmé would get a surprise when she arrived home. A grin split his lips. It wasn't often he had a day to himself. Especially one where he could simply be a man searching for something to give his wife. His pace sped up as he headed for the hangar bay. He was going to enjoy himself today.
"Anakin?"
He grinned in the darkness at Padmé's astuteness. She'd arrived home to find the lights off, the windows blocked and the sensors not responding to her commands - and linked it to him. She sounded amused, entertained.
"Anakin? Are you there?"
He stepped in behind her as the door closed, sliding his arms about her waist and planting a soft kiss on the smooth column of her neck. "You were expecting someone else?"
She laughed softly, turning in his arms in the darkness, her hands feeling their way up his arms. "Never."
"Good." He hugged her to him, kissing her softly even as he moved his hand, turning the lights on low. Her eyes opened slowly as he pulled away, her color heightened, her face flushed with expectation and anticipation. He grinned down at her. "I must be the luckiest man on the planet to have permission to ravish an Angel."
"Flatterer."
She returned his smile as he loosened his hold on her and allowed her to take in the apartment. She gasped in a surprise, a sound that delighted him to no end when she asked incredulously, "What's all this?"
The room was littered with flower petals of all shapes sizes and colors, predominantly red. They covered everything, creating a tapestry of muted colors that emitted a faint fragrant smell, but didn't overpower. In the center of it all was the makings of a simple repast. An urn that sat on a warming plate, two bowls and plates with assorted utensils. A salad of mixed greens complimented the meal. And there were presents. Several brightly wrapped packages sitting by the table, their colorful paper muted shades of pink, yellow and blue; baby colors.
Anakin's smile was almost shy but held a hint of pride. "We haven't celebrated the news of the baby. I thought you might want to. Privately; with me."
"Oh, Anakin... I don't know what to say..."
"You don't have to say anything." He wrapped his arms about her from behind again, resting his chin on her shoulder. "Not a thing. I wanted to do this; I rarely get to spoil my wife."
She leaned back into him, looking at his preparations. They were simple, but held a touch of elegance. They spoke of a man who didn't have much practice with such surprises, but had tried anyway. "I love it. What's for dinner?"
"Hungry?" He nuzzled the curve of her neck suggestively.
"For food, Anakin." Her admonishment was softened with a smile.
"I know." His eyes sparkled mischievously as he let her go and stepped to her side, extending his arm courteously. "May I escort you to dinner, Mrs. Skywalker?"
She placed her hand in his. "Certainly, Mr. Skywalker."
He escorted her to the couch, helping her arrange herself comfortably. He pulled the lid off the urn and inhaled deeply. He'd cheated in having their dinner catered - he wasn't very good in the kitchen - but he didn't think Padmé would mind. The stew smelled wonderful, the meaty smell promising a hearty, if simple, repast. "May I serve you, Padmé?"
Her smile was soft as she watched him, nodding. He could feel the soft pride mingling with amusement in her gaze, and basked in it as he carefully spooned generous portions into the bowls provided. He then served up the greens on the small plates and drizzled the vinaigrette dressing he'd obtained over top.
"You've thought of everything."
He chuckled, placing the bowl and plate before her before pulling a container from under the table. "I aim to please, my love." Opening it, he revealed a non-alcoholic sparkling fruit beverage. Anakin cracked the seal and poured it carefully into two glasses, handing her one and taking the other. He raised it in a toast. "To you and our baby, Padmé. You make my life worth living."
She lifted her glass in response. "And to you, Anakin. Without whom my life would be an empty monotony of meetings and loneliness and this baby would never have been possible."
They gently tapped their glasses together and sipped, their gazes locked over the lips. The soft glow of the lights only heightened the sense of privacy and isolation, and Padmé took advantage of it as she placed her glass on the table. "Come here, Anakin."
He did as she said, feeling the familiar thrill of her touch as she directed him to slide onto the sofa beside her and settled into the crook of his arm. His grip was light but possessive; he reveled in the fact that she was his every moment they got to spend this way. His hand gently stroked her shoulder through the fabric of her dress. She settled her head on his shoulder and sighed contentedly. "You didn't have to do this you know."
"I know." His fingers continued to stroke her shoulder. "I wanted to. It's not every day I get to spend an evening alone with you, Padmé. Especially not an evening where I can spend my day shopping for you."
"I don't need things, Anakin. Just spending a night with you is gift enough."
He chuckled, turning his head to plant a kiss on the crown of her head. "I know, love, I know. But let me spoil you anyway."
She smiled softly, even though he couldn't see it, he felt it. "As my Jedi commands."
He hugged her gently and then lifted the first present from the pile and floated it to her so it hung in the air just above her lap. "I hope you like these."
"They're from you." She took the box and placed it down on her lap, her fingers tracing the small stuffed toy pictures on the outside. "I'm sure whatever they are, I'll love them."
Padmé unwrapped each of the presents in turn, marveling at the wide variety of things Anakin had purchased. There was a small cradle, a series of holos about Nabooian plants, animals and vacation places. There were small hair combs, a "how to" guide for new parents and a holo-portrait of Anakin, taken professionally, that made her gasp.
"Anakin!"
"Do you like it?"
"It's wonderful." Her eyes traced the profile he presented in the holo-portrait, the secretive smile she loved playing about his lips. "Oh, Anakin."
He gently kissed her cheek. "I know we have to be careful about displaying signs of our relationship, but this is just for you, Padmé. Something you can look at while I'm gone, or carry with you. Something to remind you that I'm thinking of you and miss you. I wanted you to have ... something." He didn't say it, but she heard the Just in case that was supposed to follow the sentence as if he'd said it.
She placed the holo carefully on the table and turned in his arms, her lips meeting his as her hands delved into his long hair. Anakin eased her back against the couch, bracing himself above her as their lips met and released, and met again, soft, whisper like caresses. "Nothing will happen to you." Her words were fierce between kisses. "Nothing."
Anakin pulled back to look at her. Her hair was mused, out of place from his questing fingers. Her face was flushed, even in the dim light he could make out her heightened color. Her eyes glittered like polished stones, reflecting his warmth and love back towards him so that he could feel what she did. He wished he could believe her; he wished he could tell her that she was right.
But he couldn't. He'd seen the future. He'd seen the things he was capable of. He'd seen her death at his hands; and he mourned for it. Silently. Without sound. He mourned for the love he would lose if that future came to pass.
"Anakin?"
"I'm alright."
She brushed his hair from his face, her brow creased. "Are you sure?"
He smiled for her, gently, nodding. "I'm sure." He shifted backwards until he pulled her back into a sitting position. "Are you hungry?"
She let him change the subject and he knew it. She didn't buy that he was alright, but Anakin sensed that she understood what the problem was and was at a loss for what to do about it. So she let him pretend that this was a normal night; she let him pamper her.
And for that he was grateful.
