I toe-tally would've updated sooner, but exams tend to be a pain in the ass! But I'm updating now so it's all good! YAY! So yeah. I had a Spanish exam today and I think I ACED IT! Go me! (clears throat) Anyway, ENJOY!
I own nothing. The Almighty Larson owns it all.
Alejandro stomped up the three flights of stairs, stormed into the apartment, went over to the couch where Collins was sitting, and slapped him square in the face.
"Ah! What the fuck!?" Collins yelled, holding a hand to his cheek.
"You son-of-a-bitch! I'm going to kill you!" Alejandro yelled. "This is all your fault!"
"What exactly is my fault?"
"I woke up in an alley about 15 minutes ago to find a hobo, who smelled like fish, going through my pockets! Then he asked me if I had an apple and bit me when I said 'no!' After that I chased him around the block five times, but I couldn't catch him so I only succeeded in almost passing out! And, on top of that, I'm missing my left shoe!" Collins chuckled.
"Damn. Sounds like you had a hard day," he said. Alejandro started to hit him again, but Collins grabbed his hand before he could. "I think maybe you should sit down, put your feet up, and just chill."
"I'll chill when you apologize to me!" Alejandro yelled.
"Me apologize to you?"
"Yes!"
"Are you on crack?"
"No! I'm serious! Apologize! NOW!"
"After what you did to me, I don't think so."
"What did I do to you!?"
"For starters, you threatened me."
"So!?"
"Secondly, you put a boa constrictor in my bed."
"SO!?"
"And thirdly . . . hmm . . . I guess I just don't like you."
"Join the club!"
"Ooh. Do I get a membership card?" Alejandro's eyes narrowed.
"Don't test me, boy," he said. Angel and Alicia then came into the apartment from their trip around town, each one carrying several grocery bags.
"Hi honey," Angel said, giving Collins a quick kiss. "How'd everything go here?"
"Smooth," Collins replied.
"Alejandro, I hope you behaved yourself," Alicia said.
"Oh, we were the best of friends," Alejandro replied with a smile.
"That's good. Ángel and I are going to cook dinner. There are two more bags out in the car. Could one of you go get them?"
"I'll get 'em," Collins said, heading out the door.
"Mamá, make sure you don't put nuts in anything. Collins is extremely allergic," Angel told Alicia as they walked into the kitchen.
Nuts, huh? Alejandro thought.
"Did you enjoy your dinner Collins?" Alicia asked.
"It was great," Collins replied. "Uh . . . what was it called again?" Angel and Alicia laughed.
"Dominican sancocho," Angel said slowly.
"That's one of those words I won't be able to say for a while."
"You don't speak much Spanish, huh?" Alicia asked.
"No, but I understand some stuff," Collins replied. "And I studied one question for two weeks to be able to ask it to either you or Mr. Schunard without makin' a total fool of myself."
"What question is that?"
Collins cleared his throat and nervously asked, ¿"Puedo tener la mano del Ángel en el matrimonio?" Angel squealed, practically jumped on Collins' lap, and kissed him passionately. "Ang, they haven't said 'yes' yet." Angel then turned to Alicia.
"Mamá, what do you say?" Angel asked hopefully.
"I think it's a great idea," Alicia replied. "My answer is yes."
"Over his dead body," Alejandro said coldly.
"But papá–" Angel started.
"No 'but's'. If I say no, that's what I mean," Alejandro interrupted.
"Mamá, do something," Angel pleaded.
"Alejandro, if Ángel is in love, he should be able to marry whoever he wants," Alicia said.
"My answer, for the third time, is no," Alejandro said.
"Papá, please," Angel begged.
"No. Besides, the boy probably doesn't even have a ring."
"Yes I do. It's right–" Collins was cut off by a series of violent coughs.
"Honey, you okay?" Angel asked. Collins nodded.
"I'm fine," he replied as the temperature in the room skyrocketed. Well, to him anyway. "Anyone else really, really hot?"
"Are you sure you're okay?" Collins started hyperventilating. "Honey?" Angel put her hand to Collins' forehead. "Oh my God! You're burning up!" She then looked down at Collins' plate and noticed something. A very little something. A nut. ¡"Mamá! I told you not to put nuts in anything!"
"I didn't put nuts in anything!" Alicia replied.
"Then how'd they get into Collins' food!?"
"I don't know!"
"I . . . can't . . . breathe," Collins choked out. Alejandro was sitting at the end of the table smirking slightly.
¡"Alejandro! Don't just sit there! Call an ambulance!" Alicia yelled. Alejandro did as he was told. Collins could barely make out anyone's voice or face, but he could, however, make out Alejandro's form.
Motherfucker, he thought as everything went black.
How many swear words can someone use while reviewing this chapter? I'm counting them. Review please! Please? Do it or I'll kill Collins! Okay, no I won't. I don't have the heart to do that.
Translations
¿"Puedo tener la mano del Ángel en el matrimonio?"– "May I have Angel's hand in marriage?"
