A/N: That was a long chapter. Here's another of an unspecified length. I'm just going with this right now. I'm also going to mess things up for people. Sound fun?

Disclaimer: I own nothing but my plots and OC's.

Chapter 4: The Rabbit Hole

I am antsy. Tea's pool has reached a new level of boring. She's just sitting on the edge. Joey's doing canonballs, and Tristan is floating. I love my friends. I really do. But I've gone to another level in my life and I want to get there right now. I go under to clear my head. The water blurs my vision and I see Joey's legs kicking and flailing under the surface. I care about my friends a lot.

So why do I want to kill them?

I shake these thoughts out of my head. I mean, I don't want to KILL them. I just want to be someplace else. No more friendship speeches or awkward lunches. When school starts, it will be much easier for me to avoid them. And divide my time between them and Yami. I smile when I think about him. What time is it? I'm supposed to head to his house at six. Meet with Mai and Duke and go to the concert. Probably spend the night at his house. I told grampa that that's what I'd be doing. He seems to be okay with it. Somehow I have this feeling he knows that I've reached some different level and that Yami might be more than a friend. But if he feels this way, he won't say anything. He's been giving me my space lately. I'm growing up. He's growing old. And I need freedom. At least, that's what he told me. But why is it my friends who are the ones imprisoning me?

"Yugi? Man, where are you?"

"Sorry. Just thinking. Hey, what time is it?"

"Five." I nod. "Why, you got someplace else to be?" Yes.

"No. I just told Yami I'd go to this concert with him and Mai and Duke."

"You're ditching us for them?" Tea takes off her sunglasses and looks at me.

"I'm not ditching you. I mean, we've hung out all day."

"Oh, so now it's a chore for you to be with us."

Yes. "No, Tea, it's not. I just-"

"Have other friends. Right. Of course." I look at her.

"I'm sorry. I didn't realize I couldn't have other friends. My mistake. I'll be sure the fix that as soon as possible."

"Hey, hey! Cool down! Come on, Tea. We've been together all day. I mean, I gotta go home soon, too. I'm cooking my sister dinner."

"That's different," she snaps.

"Really?" I ask. I get out of the pool, pulling on my tshirt and shorts, feeling the fabric clinging to my skin. It feels strange. Like it's revealing something new and different about me. And maybe it is. Maybe through this fabric Tea can see that I have moved on from them. Not entirely, but enough to feel comfortable with others. "I mean, I'd love to know how."

"We were your friends first Yugi! We deserve that much!"

"Yeah, you were my first friends. But that doesn't mean you get to be my only friends." I grab my things and walk away, pushing open the back gate and grabbing the bike Yami gave me. I put on my sunglasses and glare at the sky. Why? Universe. Why? Why does it have to be this fucking hard to move on with my life? I ride home. My grampa is closing the shop.

"Hey! Why so testy?"

"I don't know! I mean, apparently, I can't have other friends! Apparently, some loser like me gets one chance and then gets stuck with those friends forever. You know, just because I never had friends before doesn't mean that they get to have some exclusive hold on the title. I mean, why can't I make other friends? Why? Why can't I?"

"You can."

"Yeah? Well, according to Tea, I can't."

"Yugi, you've made other friends and you're growing up. There comes a time when your childhood friends either have to grow up with you, or you have to grow up without them. They'll move on with you. And you'll always be close. But they'll have to understand you're not a child anymore. And you can make new friends like Yami."

"Grampa...Yami is..." I look at the ground. Back at him. He looks carefully at me. "I mean, he's not just...Fuck."

"Language."

"Sorry." I sigh. "He's a great friend, you're right. I'm going to go change and head to his place, okay? I'll be back in the morning."

"Okay Yugi. Have fun." And he doesn't press the issue. Doesn't harass me for more information. Lets me go. I run upstairs and change. Say goodbye, and ride to Yami's house. I open the door with the key he gave me. He's in the kitchen, selling something to some stringy guy with too much shit in his blood. He shivers and shakes and laughs and moves too much. His hands give the money to Yami and Yami hands him a bag of something. Pills. I stopped caring. The guy stumbles out of the house. Counting the pills over and over again.

"You caught a transaction."

"I did. That guy looks like he's going to walk in front of movie traffic. He needs a leash."

"Eh, he'll be alright. These guys are fine. They're just hooked on this stuff. When I moved into this neighborhood, there was a guy selling already. Only he was selling a lot more dangerous stuff. Crack and spiked shit. I stay out of that. I'm a-"

"Pharmacist, right. That's what my friends and grampa think you are." He smiles and goes to his dresser. I pick up the guitar and strum a little.

"You're getting better. When you're really good, you should do open mic night at the club."

"Maybe I should." I smile and continue to play. It's come naturally for me, music has. Like Yami has. And my new life. Mai honks from outside and yells. "Guess we better go." He nods and pulls on a jacket. How he manages to do that and turn me on is a mystery. Another mystery of his that I have yet to solve.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

There is something wonderful and beautiful about being totally and completely free. When the ties of what is behind you do not cling to you or pull you under. They don't demand your attention, or claim your body as their own. When they don't drag you away from the escape. From the joy of the hunt. The hunt for some kind of space that is yours and yours alone. I can't quite describe it. The feeling of finding this place. Especially when you share this place with someone else.

It's one in the morning when we stumble into his apartment, laughing like crazy as we watch Mai drive off, waving out the window. The music was loud. The air was choked with smoke and laughter. And we were happy. I was whole. I look at him and remember him kissing me in the middle of the crowd, unashamed. He takes one look at me and we know where this is going. Where it should go. If all is well. And it is. The hunt is over. I've found my place. He pushes me to the bed and hungrily attacks my body, peeling off layers of clothes from my sweat slicked body.

We are like lightening. Like a flash and a flash and I can't tell who is who anymore as he arms cover and hold me and we're moving together. Gasping. So this is what it's like. To be completely one with someone. So much heat and pressure and lovely lovely skin and arms and neck teeth lips tongue push pull give take. I need this so bad. I need this and I need him and I'vefelt felt anything even remotely close to this before. Our cries mingle and bruised lips meet gentle touches. He is so much darker than me. So much heavier in so many ways. He looms over me and is inside and there is so much lightening because it has begun to rain outside. The clouds roll over the sky and over my mind. A fog settles over us and no one can push through it. I distantly hear his soft soft voice in my ear and I smile because I've been waiting for him to say it.

"I love you."

For three weeks we have played this game. This game of sharing. And in three weeks we have fallen down this rabbit hole of emotion. And we've come up struggling for breath. But in the end, the words are all we have. And I say them back. Maybe too loud. Maybe too many times. But they're there. They hang in the room and float around us and we swallow them like we've swallowed each other. And then we are done. Then the lightening we've become fades away, when our clinging fingers relinquish their hold.