AN: Happy holidays to those who celebrate, and Bah Humbug to my fellow Scrooges. May you spend the holidays with love and in peace.
Always,
Raven
11th August 1998
Severus woke up in a foul mood. And it didn't have anything to do with Hermione leaving back to Grimmauld place. Not one bit. He swept down the stairs and his mood darkened even further when he noticed the packed suitcase and beaded bag resting innocently by the entrance to the living room. She was already dressed and ready in a simply periwinkle blue dress, sipping on her coffee. He would have thought her glad to be leaving by the way her crossed knees were jittering. But he could sense her discomfort and noted it was not out excitement but rather nervousness.
"Morning," she piped up, eyes on her coffee.
Severus sat down and nodded curtly, buttering a toast but realising he had little appetite and set it back down on the plate before reaching for his mug. They rarely had coffee with breakfast, preferring to have a mid-morn cup after the gentle wake up provided by tea, but she must have been too jumpy this morning and made the coffee instead. He did not comment, and he did not try to slip into her mind. He sat in his chair, spine stiff as a board and sipping on his coffee silently.
Hermione cleared her throat before finally looking at him. "Thank you for having me. I enjoyed spending time at your home despite the circumstances," she ventured.
Severus nodded curtly and finally slipped into her mind, sensing her apprehension, nervousness and…dare he think sadness to leave perhaps? No, must be his imagination. I am glad that your health is much improved again. If you find yourself in need of brewing a potion in preparation for your N.E.W.T.s , you are welcome to visit, his tone stiff and impersonal.
Hermione looked back into her coffee but kept a hold of their mental connection. And I will write in the meantime, she suggested, the slight lilt at the end of the sentence making it nearly a question.
Severus nodded once more. I expect to receive your owl. You have my thanks for aiding with my home, he added after a moment.
Hermione nodded and finished her coffee before standing. He stood as well, his manners dictating no other response and motioned for her to proceed him. She picked up her suitcase and strapped the beaded bag around her wrist as the flames in the fireplace turned green. She looked at him once more but he stood there, just looking at her with those deep, obsidian eyes that were closed off to her for the first time in weeks.
"Farewell," she said out loud, loath to make this a good bye, and without waiting for a response that would probably never come, she stepped through and disappeared in the flames.
Severus stood there silently for a moment before resolving himself to finishing his coffee and getting ready for the day. He had potions to brew for Poppy to restock the infirmary before the new school year after all…
He was just heading up the stairs from the basement to make some tea and maybe grab something to eat, his shoulders aching from the strain of managing four cauldrons at once, when he felt his wards tingle and heard the sound of the floo flaring. He wondered who dared to visit with him today, his mood even worse than in the morning before Hermione left. He stormed into the living room, ready to bring hell on anyone who dared impose on him before halting in his step, stunned. Hermione was sitting in his armchair, her suitcase beside her knee. She looked a little pale and her eyes looked like she's been crying very recently.
"Severus…I'm sorry for barging in on you but I didn't have anywhere else to…go…" she managed, trying to pull herself together.
Severus walked over to the sofa and perched on the seat closest to the armchair, noting that in her distress her mental walls were drawn sky-high. He reached over and squeezed her forearm until she looked at him and calmed enough to drop the shields and let him in. He really didn't mean to slip into the memory, but it was on the forefront of her mind and he naturally slipped into it.
"… I'll kill him. It was HIM wasn't it? He did this to you?" Ron raged, pacing like a caged dragon over the floor of the Grimmauld place library where they seemed to be standing with Hermione.
"No, he healed me. It was your sister who did this to me," Hermione clarified sharply and protectively over the man she had come to think of as friend.
Severus watched in surprise, sensing her emotions as this was happening from her perspective. Yes, one could say they were friends now, good ones too. But he focused back on the memory unfolding in front of him.
"You leave Gin out of this. She was only trying to help! All you ever do is stay locked in this room and study. What about us! What about me?! I have needs too, you know, and we've been dating for two months now!" he turned to her with angry eyes, wounded male pride clear in his eyes.
Interesting, Severus noted. It seemed Hermione was not exactly hurrying into a more physical bond with the boy. How fortuitous for her, he thought uncharitably toward the young man who looked like he barely knew his way around a woman's body.
"So this is what it's about? Us not snogging all the time and having sex? Seriously, Ronald! That is the last of my worries right now. Because of your sister's selfishness, I can't have children. Ever," she clarified, already exasperated and exhausted of this argument. Who was this boy? Where was the young, brave man she kissed during the final battle? She no longer recognised this jealous, selfish, petty child of a man.
Ron finally stopped his pacing. "So you're barren. There is no chance of you ever having children," he stated dispassionately, the sudden change worrying.
Hermione shook her head in silent response.
"We're through," he said clearly. "Good luck finding someone who'll want you now. Maybe you can crawl back to the dungeon bat, he couldn't get laid otherwise if he tried but he can soil himself with you," he said cruelly.
Hermione's wand was in her hand before she knew it and a swarm of yellow canaries attacked the spiteful redhead vigorously as he fled the room.
The memory died and he was suddenly pressed out of Hermione's mind with a shock, realising she did not mean to show him that at all.
"Don't…" she said, her shoulders quivering after reliving the cruel words delivered by someone she cared about most of her teenage life. Her once friend and boyfriend. She didn't even honestly know what she was doing. She had packed everything she owned into her suitcase and left without another word to anyone.
Severus handled quite a few emotional outbursts as a Head of Slytherin house in his past, but he was admittedly unsure of how to handle this situation. He could feel the deep hurt from the boy's words in her mind before she expelled him, and saw she was at the breaking point with her control. So he relied on his instinct and reached across the small space separating them. Lifting her out of the armchair and into his arms. She struggled for a moment in the sudden embrace and he thought at first that this has been a mistake, but then she clutched onto his shirt and let the tears flow. Severus simply held her close and rubbed her back, seeing it was soothing to her somehow. He tried reaching towards her mind again and found her shields lowered completely in her emotions state.
May I? he asked gently, not wanting to impose after she threw him out, but Hermione merely nodded into his shirt, her tears abating slowly and she hiccuped a little as she tried to calm herself. I will not lie to you and deny that Mr. Weasley's words hold true for certain wizards in our society. We both know well how certain families insist on continual procreation and preservation of bloodlines. However, that does not mean that your inability to produce children lessens your value as a woman or a witch. Any wizard smart enough to realise that would be quite lucky to have you, he said gently but completely honestly.
He didn't want to insult her intelligence with lies, but that did not mean he could not help her deal with the emotional trauma. It was true that the ability to bear magical children was highly valued in Magical Britain. But in the post-war world they were living in, with so many witches affected by dark magic and irreparable injuries to their bodies, one would think the general populace would be understanding to the limitations of the two generations of Voldemort's era. Severus quite frankly always thought Hermione and the youngest Weasley son ill-matched in their romance, but refrained from commenting. The boy, and he clearly was still a child if he continued to behave in such a petty manner, was no match for the brains and potential of Hermione Granger.
Hermione finally pulled herself together and stepped back out of his arms, hastily drying her tears with her hands. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to blubber all over you. Oh, your shirt is ruined. I'm sorry Severus, I should go," she said, unsure whether she could keep their mental link in her distress.
Severus however pressed on her shoulder gently but firmly until she was seated in the armchair again and kept the connection between them. Nonsense. It is but a shirt, do not give it another thought. And where would you go? You yourself said a moment ago that you had no other place. Really, the guest room is just as you left it this morning, and your examinations are but a month away. You are welcome to stay, study and practice whatever you need without a worry.
Hermione looked at him, startled. "I couldn't possibly impose! I merely thought I could crash with you for a few days before finding a flat in London. I've been hunting for one for a month now but nothing was quite to my taste. I can always take something and move later if I need to," she hastened to reassure. She grew rather fond of their friendship and she didn't want to ruin it by imposing.
Severus was however vehement. I insist, he said and flicked his wand swiftly, sending her suitcase up into the guest room. You are welcome to stay however long you need or please. All I ask is that you look after the room you reside in and occasionally help around the household to share responsibility. Other than that, I would…appreciate having you stay, he managed.
Hermione offered a small smile before focusing on their mental bond and a moment later her gentle voice caressed his mind, instantly filling him with contentment. You're forever so kind. Of course, leave the household to me. And I'll contribute towards the grocery expenses as there will be two of us eating. I cannot thank you enough, Severus.
Severus however shook his head. I am merely doing what I believe friends are for, as the saying goes. You, and you alone are responsible for your success, Hermione. I merely intend to provide you the opportunity to extend your potential, he replied and stood, offering her his hand.
She accepted it and let herself be pulled up to her feet, straightening her slight crumpled dress. Either way Severus, thank you. Oh dear, I don't even know what you were doing before I barged in on you. Would you like a cup of tea? she suggested, heading for the kitchen straight away.
Severus allowed himself a private smile, the foul mood that persisted throughout the day suddenly gone. With that last thought, he headed for the kitchen to have a cuppa with the lovely witch…
13th September 1998
Severus apparated to the front porch of his home and stepped in, the setting sun colouring the interior with hues or orange, red and pink. He set down the basket filled with fall potions ingredients and looked around the house, trying to find the other, currently elusive resident. The weather was starting to cool and he found the back door to the garden open wide, a cooling cup of tea on one of the steps towards the garden.
It was still surprising to Severus how much Hermione enjoyed different menial tasks. She did some of the cleaning manually, and often could be found in the garden, tending to the plants and magical soil diligently. He guessed it was something to do, to distract her from thinking too much. The past month has been rather intense for her in terms of revision and studying the arts of mental magic to make it easier for their communication. They could now speak to each other no matter which room they were in, as long as they were both within the house wards. Today marked the third and last day of her examinations which started promptly on Friday morning while the new school year was still not too busy and in full swing. They haven't seen each other all day and he poured himself some of the tea she left on the stove before joining her outside, gathering his cloak and seating himself on the step while he watched her work.
She was kneeling on an old towel to not get too much dirt on her weathered jeans, in between two of the four perfectly straight rows of vegetables on the left side of the garden. Her green sweater hugged her gentle curves closely, and the sleeves were pushed up around her elbows as she worked through the patch and pulled out the well-grown veg with her skilled, glowed hands. Severus noticed the three crates at the edge of the rows, one filled copiously with white and red onions, and shallots. The one next to it was heaving with the weight of pound upon pound of heavy, juicy potatoes. The last crate was split in half, one of the sides already piled with parsnips, the other steadily filling with beautifully red carrots. The magical soil indeed proved encouraging for the seeds and seedlings, he was pleased to see.
Hermione cleaned off the last of the carrots at the end of the row and set it by hand inside the crate before taking off the gloves and getting up off her stiff knees, wiping away the sweat from her brow. Severus moved a little on the step to give her enough space and reheated her tea.
Thanks, she accepted it and sat down beside him with a contented sigh, sipping on the rich, indian spiced chai which she only made on days when she needed an extra bit of comfort in her couldn't complain, it was rather delicious the way she brewed it in hot milk with plenty of honey.
How did it go? he asked, well aware that her last examination was in potions that afternoon.
Hermione hummed and leaned back a bit in her seat. The written part was easy enough, and Slughorn had me brewing the Draught of Living Death of all things. I think he remembers I struggled with it in my sixth year, she mused. It was perfect this time thought, she grinned proudly.
Severus chuckled at her unabashed antics, seeing she was very glad that it was all over and she had her qualifications. Not everyone had what it takes to pass their N.E.W.T.s successfully, not to mention doing 8 subjects like Hermione, ever the over-achiever for taking twice the usual amount.
Which ones did you find most enjoyable? he asked, knowing it would be an odd question to most but Hermione actually honestly found the examinations a challenge, and she loved those.
Hmm….Ancient runes, Arithmancy, and Potions, she finally said.
Indeed? Severus raised a brow at the last one.
Hermione chuckled. Of course. Even thought you were a right bastard sometimes, I always held a love for your subject, she explained. Anyone can indulge in 'foolish wand-waving', but not everyone has a talent for potions, she teased him with his own words.
He didn't have time to respond as a brown Hogwarts owl carrying two letters swooped down over them and dropped two envelopes in her lap. As she was the only one to do her exams at this time, and a Ministry official was present at each of her exams, the results were confirmed near immediately. She left the one with the approved ministry seal alone for the moment before opening the one with the Hogwarts crest.
It's from Minerva, she's congratulating me on my successful results and asks to see me for tea to discuss career options, she mused, folding it back up into the envelope before picking up the heavy envelope carrying her Ministry-approved results and official diploma.
Well then, open it, Severus encouraged her, not doubting for a moment that her results will be perfect.
She tore the envelope open and unfolded her result sheet, looking at it in stunned silence.
Ancient Runes OO
Arithmancy OO
Astronomy O
Charms O
Defence Against the Dark Arts O
Herbology O
Potions OO
Transfiguration O
Severus grinned proudly. Receiving a double Outstanding was practically unheard of, only the most successful of students received them. Not to mention in nearly half of their chosen subjects. What surprised him however was the double O she received for potions, as to his knowledge Severus himself was the last one to receive such a high mark.
"Oh my God…" she gasped, still looking at the results startled.
I believe congratulations are in order, Severus grinned before suddenly finding himself with an armful of excited Hermione and a face-full of her wild hair. He couldn't help but chuckle and return the sudden embrace nonetheless. Hermione pulled away after a moment and sat back down, looking at her diploma proudly. I did it…
You did indeed, Severus nodded before standing and helping her to her feet as well. And after congratulations, a celebration is in order. Have you prepared dinner yet? he asked.
Hermione shook her head. I completely forgot what time it was, she motioned at the garden.
Severus flicked his wand and set the crates under preservation charms before sending them to the pantry. Good, I shall be the one to provide the dinner tonight. If you would find a suitable attire for muggle London, I know just the place.
Thank you, she grinned and pecked his cheek before positively dancing her way up the stairs to get ready.
Severus stood rooted to the spot for a moment, touching his cheek where her lips pressed the feeling kiss just moments ago. He discovered that Hermione was a tactile person by nature with her friends, but it still took him by surprise at how comfortable she was around him. With that thought, he headed upstairs to get ready for their evening out.
Hermione positively glowed with happiness in the muted lighting of the Italian restaurant, her simple burgundy dress bringing out the excited rosiness in her cheeks.
Thank you for taking me out to dinner, she smiled over he menu, looking at him with a content smile.
It is my pleasure, I assure you, he replied with a small answering smile while he wrote down his order on a piece of paper for the waiter. Success should be celebrated, and you are after all entering a new chapter in your life now that your secondary education is completed. Not that I would need a reason for treating you to dinner upon occasion, you take care of our sustenance every day after all, he acknowledged.
And it was true. They settled into a domestic routine near immediately after her return to his Hogsmeade house, and helped make it a true home. They sometimes both forgot themselves in research or reading and split the chores the following day to keep the house as neat as they both enjoyed. Other than those days, Hermione liked to rest her brain and clean up the house from top to bottom, including preparing their meals and doing the laundry. She insisted on proper aprons in the lab so Severus wouldn't have to wear the heavy robes, and always checked on him when he had a heavy brewing load, and brought some tea and food to the small table he kept for edibles in the lab. Their evenings were often spent reading or in discussion in front of the fireplace with a fresh pot of tea in good company. They had their days when they preferred solitude, and Severus was still a rather unpleasant man some days, but there was plenty of space in the house for them to keep to themselves when the unpleasant mood hit one or both of them.
The waiter arrived and Severus handed him the paper. The young man looked a little surprised before reading it over and nodding with a smile. "And for the miss?" he asked, turning to look at her, popping his pen on.
"Bruschetta for a starter, and the frutti di mare risotto please," she closed her menu and handed it over.
He nodded and left, returning swiftly with a bottle of sparkling rose wine and some water.
Oh Severus, you didn't have to, Hermione said gently in his mind, offering him a bright smile.
Severus waved her off. Try saying that again after you taste it, he teased and watched her sip it with delight.
They fell into an easy conversation, their open mental link making it easy for them to continue despite the arrival of their meal.
May I inquire about your plans now that you have gained your qualifications? Severus asked, interested in hearing what she would choose. She could do anything with that brilliant mind of hers, and they both knew it.
Hermione thought about it for a moment before responding while she chewed a forkful of the delicious risotto. I gave it some thought, but I'm not quite sure yet. Curse-breaking would combine all my favourite subjects, but I would need a mastery in Arithmancy and Runes for that. Or perhaps healing, like Poppy suggested, which would mean a few more years at the university. I would quite like that, I think. Or teaching. Minerva suggested that several times, and it would allow me enough time during the holidays to travel and do independent research. There are so many options, I am not quite sure, she mused.
Severus nodded. Perhaps it is best to wait until after you've had your conversation with Minerva on the morrow. In the meantime, I do have a proposition for your consider. She looked intrigued and motioned for him to continue. If you were interested in both further study and a practical approach to learning, I would offer you the opportunity to gain a Potions Mastery under my tutelage.
Hermione paused and set her fork down. In all your years as a Potions Master, you've never taken on an apprentice. Why now? Hermione asked stunned, having thought the opportunity lost to her. She always wanted to study under Severus' guidance, but thought it was impossible, and getting her Potions Mastery with another Master just did not hold appeal to her. For the man to offer it so freely was near unthinkable.
In all honesty, I was never inclined towards the idea because I haven't yet met a student talented and diligent enough for the subject to study with me. I would quite happily however provide guidance to you. With a Mastery in potions, you could easily accelerate your healing qualifications by two years if you were so inclined, or go straight to teaching. I know Minerva would be most glad to have you as my replacement, as persuading Horace to return this year was an absolute pain. As always, he drawled, making his opinion of the man rather clear.
Hermione was still a little stunned but he could see the wheels turning in her head. I don't quite know what to say…
Then do not make a decision tonight. Have tea with Minerva on the morrow and give it careful consideration. My offer is not time-constrained, he reassured.
She reached across the table and gently grasped his free hand in hers, squeezing for a moment. Thank you, Severus. I appreciate your offer more than you will ever know.
Severus returned the gentle squeeze before they returned to their dinner, switching conversation to the new research done into the polyjuice potion. Hermione couldn't have asked for a better celebration of her work and her smile was ever present even on their way home. They walked through Hogsmeade, her hand twined around his firm biceps, her heels clinking lightly over the cobblestones.
Thank you for this evening, I had a great time, she looked up at him as they walked through the house wards and Severus opened the door for her.
So did I, he agreed and took her coat, hanging it beside his own in the hallway.
She took off her heels and settled them on the shoe rack before pausing, not sure how to ask what she was thinking. I know you extended your invitation for me to stay here until I finish my exams, but I was hoping maybe you aren't sick of my presence quite yet.
Severus chuckled. However did you see right through me? he teased but when he saw he unease, nodded. Our current living arrangement suits me. Why do you ask?
Well, I was hoping it will continue to suit you for a while? I don't know what I'll choose next just yet, but I was hoping I could remain living here. If you have no objections of course. If you do, I will start looking for an apartment again as soon as possible.
Severus however shook his head. That won't be necessary. As I said, our current arrangements are quite suitable.
Hermione nodded and smiled, lifting up on her tiptoes to press a kiss to his cheek. Thank you, Severus. Good night.
Good night, he nodded and watched her head upstairs, giving her some time in the bathroom and to settle down to sleep while he headed to check on his brewing potions. He quite suddenly realised that the thought of her leaving this house, this home, was rather hard to bear….
