Patroclus is scared. For the first time, he begins to understand how Achilles must feel. But then, Achilles has always seemed invincible in battle. He does not fear fighting, only losing the ones he loves. That is his true weakness, not his heel, even though no one but Patroclus knows it. But Patroclus knows this, too: Achilles's fatal flaw is also his saving grace.
Patroclus has done something deceptive, but he does not feel guilty. No, guilt is for the weak of mind. Patroclus's mind has always been exceptional. Now its swift trickery will kill him, even as he wears Achilles's armor. The stolen armor that he swiped from Achilles's tent when he visited him.
He remembers how whenever envy surged in his heart as a young boy, he'd play the words of his father Menoetius over in his mind. "You're not a warrior, Patroclus; don't try to be one. You're a helper, a companion. Achilles needs you; be there for him." Now, every Achaean soldier needs him. Yes, it is nice to be needed. Patroclus has been waiting for this his whole life.
First, he is confident, and then the fear sets in.
He boosts the troops' morale. Just one sight of him rallies them together once again, and Patroclus wonders at Achilles' influence.
But then, fighting breaks out all around him. The soldiers expect him to lead the fight, like Achilles would have done. But he is not Achilles, and he is unsure. He is in too deep. But he chooses to jump into battle; after all, he has always been a fair fighter. Perhaps his father was wrong; perhaps he can be a warrior, too.
It's a mad rush and he begins to understand the appeal of battle, his senses alert and his mind racing. He cuts down many Trojans, and the hope of the Achaeans surges all around him. Yes, he is enjoying himself. Until he is struck down.
1, 2, 3. He counts his killers. Deadly destiny, wrecker of lives. Golden Apollo, son of Leto. Fierce Hector, breaker of horses.
And Achilles. Achilles' unwillingness to fight made Patroclus steal his fate. No, Patroclus is not a warrior, and he was foolish to think he could be.
And so he is dead; his destiny is fulfilled. But Achilles' is yet to come.
