Broken China Doll

by: pandorabox82

Chapter Three: I Turned Myself Into a Person I Didn't Like

Try as she might, all of Petunia's stalling tactics failed the next morning. Vernon had to go in early to work, and Dudley went to spend his day off with Piers, who also had the day off. Softly sighing, she went into the kitchen, knowing that this segment of the story would be the hardest to tell to Harry, and harder still to explain, should he ask any questions. As she took a seat at the table, she noticed Harry was not there yet. She was just about to get up when Harry came in, taking a seat next to her, the seat Vernon normally say at.

He took a deep breath, and then asked, "Where do we begin today, Aunt Petunia?"

"Further in the future, Harry, to the summer that Lily received her letter from that school of hers, and left me all alone, when just a few summers before, she'd promised to protect me, no matter what…"

They were playing in the yard when the owl came. It stopped right in front of Lily, who screamed at it. Petunia wasn't afraid, though, and noticed something tied to its leg. Quickly, she removed what appeared to be a letter, and the owl took off, leaving them alone.

Looking at the thick envelope, Petunia saw it was addressed to her sister, and she wordlessly handed it to her. Deep in her heart, Petunia knew that nothing would ever be the same again.

Eagerly Lily ripped open the envelope, quickly scanning its contents. When she was finished, she looked at Petunia, hope shining in her eyes. "It's our ticket out of here, Petunia. I'm a witch, and have been asked to go to a school called Hogwarts to learn to be like other witches. Someone is coming tomorrow to speak with Mum and Da about this. Just think of how we'll be free!" Happily she ran to her sister and gave her a hug. "We'll never have to worry about him again."

Petunia disentangled herself from her sister's embrace. "Why didn't my letter come today, then?"

"Maybe you have to be a certain age to go there, or have to complete so many years of schooling before you get a letter. I don't know, but I guess we'll find out tomorrow when this Minerva McGonagall comes to visit. Let's go tell Mum the good news!" Lily ran inside, leaving Petunia to her musings.

'But what if I don't get a letter in two years, what then? I'll be the only one here,' she thought, a tear slowly rolling down her face. Brushing it away, she followed her sister inside.

The next day, promptly at tea-time, a severe looking woman knocked on the Evans's door. Petunia answered the knocking and let her in the house.

"Are you Lily Evans?"

"No, that's my sister. They're all in the parlour, waiting for you. If you'll follow me, please." Petunia led the woman to the rest of her family, playing the perfect hostess the entire way. As the woman sat, Petunia offered her a cup of tea, and then took a seat herself, next to Lily.

"As you may know, I'm here about your daughter's education. She's been selected, at birth, to come to Hogwarts, as her blood carries the magic. We help to hone the student's use of magic at Hogwarts, and it really is an honour to be selected to go there. There are other schools like ours, but none of them are the same calibre that Hogwarts is." She looked at Matthew and Marigold over her glasses. "Have you decided yet to let Lily attend, or are there some questions you need answered first?"

"We do have some questions for you, if you don't mind. Lily, Petunia, go play in your rooms. Your father and I wish to talk to Ms McGonagall alone."

Silently, the girls stood and left the room. Together, they walked up the stairs and when they got to Lily's room, she pulled her sister in with her.

"Do you think Mum will let me go? Oh, Pets, I have to go, I have to get out of this house."

"But if you go, you'll be leaving me here, alone. With you gone, who will protect me?"

"We could tell, you know."

"No, Lily! You know what he said he'd do if we ever told anyone. We can't do that!" Petunia exclaimed, bursting into tears. Lily wrapped her arms around her little sister, offering her what comfort she could.

Soon, Petunia's tears were done, and she and Lily sat on the bed, reading together. Time passed them by lightly, and they were startled by the door opening.

"Come girls, we're going into London to get Lily's supplies for school. Ms McGonagall is going with us, so that we understand everything. Don't dawdle, we have a lot to do."

Lily smiled at her mother. "I'm going then?"

"Of course you're going. This is a wonderful opportunity for you, and hopefully for Petunia in two years. Now, let's get a move on."

Lily jumped from her bed and ran out the door. Petunia followed her more slowly, trying to take in the fact that her protector would be gone from her come the fall. As she passed by her mother, Marigold slipped her arm around her. "Don't worry, my little blossom. I'm switching to days this fall so I can spend more time with you. I'd hoped Lily would be here too, but it'll just be you and me." Petunia snuggled close to her mother, and let her lead her from the room.

Matthew had the car running and Lily was in the backseat, next to Ms McGonagall. Petunia also got in the back, while Marigold took a seat up front. The entire drive to London, Lily chattered on, asking rapid fire questions and not letting any one else, save Minerva, get a word in edgewise.

They had good driving all the way there and somehow ended up arriving a full forty-five minutes earlier than they normally did. After finding a parking spot for their car, they got out and followed Minerva, who knew where she was going. She led them through a smoky pub and out to the back alley, where she pulled out her wand and tapped on the bricks in a set pattern. Soon, the bricks opened, revealing a shop-lined street that was busy with people.

"The first stop you need to make is at Gringotts, which is our banking system. If you'll follow me." She turned and began to walk away. Marigold grabbed Petunia and Lily's hand and began to follow here, Matthew bringing up the rear. They soon arrived and transferred money from their bank to this one, setting up accounts for Lily and Petunia.

Minerva instructed them on how much money to take out for Lily's supplies, with a little extra for anything that caught their eye. Leaving the bank, she led them to Madam Malkin's, so that Lily could be fitted for her school robes.

"They'll be ready by the time you finish shopping," Madam Malkin herself had declared as Minerva led them back out onto the bustling street. They proceeded to get everything on the list of supplies that had been sent, except for the books and a wand. Stopping in front of an ancient looking shop, Minerva led just Lily and Petunia inside.

The interior looked just as old as the exterior, and Petunia marveled at all the small boxes the shelves contained. From seemingly nowhere, an older gentleman appeared, his odd-coloured eyes seeming to pierce Petunia to the core. "Ah, Minerva. I see you brought the Evans girls. But only one is ready for Hogwarts, isn't that right, Lily?"

Lily jumped at being addressed by someone she'd never been introduced to. "Yes, that's right, sir."

"Now, let's see about getting you a wand." He pulled out a measuring tape, and while it took all sorts of measurements on Lily, he beckoned Petunia, who followed him to the back. "I have a gift for you, Petunia," he said as he began to rummage through the boxes, looking for something. "Ah, here's Lily's wand. Now, as for you, my dear, I want you to take this wand home with you and keep it safe until you need it."

"That will be in just a few years, right, sir?"

"Only time will tell, Petunia," he cryptically responded, leading her back to the front of the shop. "Ah, Lily, I've found your wand. Give it a try," he said, holding the wand box out to her. She opened the box carefully and lifted the wand from its bed of satin. Sparks shot out of the end and Lily and Petunia laughed at the sight.

"How much do I owe you, sir?"

"Let's see, your wand is 10 ¼" willow wood, so that will be eight Galleons. I suspect you will do quite well in Charms," he responded.

Lily counted out the money he'd requested, and they left the shop. Petunia slipped her wand box into her jacket pocket as they all continued on to the bookstore – Flourish and Botts. Petunia had never seen so many books that she hadn't heard of, and instantly fell in love with the cozy shop. Absently, she wandered away from her parents and Lily and Ms McGonagall, and found herself in front of the children's section. There were two red-headed boys there, both younger than she was.

"Excuse me, but could you recommend a good book for me?" she asked the oldest.

He smiled at here and pulled out one of his favourite stories, Sarah in Muggleland, and handed it to the girl who had asked him about books. "Mum reads this one to us all the time."

"Thanks," Petunia replied, thumbing through the pages. 'Hopefully they'll buy this for me,' she thought, having fallen in love with the book instantly.

"Bill! Charlie! We have to get going." A young-looking woman approached the boys, her bright red hair pulled back into a plait. "Well, hello. Who are you, dear?"

"I'm Petunia Evans. My sister Lily is getting her books for Hogwarts today. I won't be going for another two years," she replied, smiling at the woman.

"Are you Muggles, then?"

"I suppose so. At least, that's what Ms McGonagall said. Can you keep a secret? Ollivander made Lily pay for her wand, but he gave me mine. Wasn't that nice of him? Oh! I've got to go, my parents are waiting for me. I hope I see you again, you seem so nice." Petunia ran over to her parents, missing the look the woman gave her. She showed her parents the book Bill had picked out for her. "May I get it?" she asked.

"Certainly, sweetie," her father replied, adding it to the tack of books for Lily. Once they'd been rung up and paid for everything, they left the store, and Ms McGonagall took the girls to the ice cream shop while their parents went to pick up Lily's robes.

After a short while, their parents returned, and they left Diagon Alley. Ms McGonagall walked them back to their car, and then watched them leave. Petunia waved to her through the back window, watching her fade into the busy background of London. Once they were home, Lily put all her school things in an old steamer trunk that had belonged to their grandmother.

However, she kept out the Charms book and began to pore over its contents. Petunia tried to get her to talk, but Lily was too engrossed in her book. Resignedly, Petunia went to her room and placed her wand on the top shelf of her closet, underneath her winter sweaters. Then she went over to her bed, lay down, and began to read her book.

The rest of summer passed that way, with Lily becoming more and more enraptured with the world that was offering her escape, and Petunia becoming all the more withdrawn as their father's focus became further shifted to only her. Oh, how desperately she wanted to go with Lily! After all, she'd been let into her first school early, so why not Hogwarts?

As the first of September approached, Petunia became more despondent, so much so that Marigold took notice of it, and asked her if there was something wrong. Petunia lied, telling her mother she was just missing Lily before Lily was even gone and Marigold took it for truth. Petunia was a good liar by then.

When it came time to take Lily to the train station, Petunia opted to stay home. Her parents let her, and she watched Lily leave her from her bedroom window, tears streaming down her face. Turning from the window when they were out of sight and throwing herself onto her bed, she sobbed herself into a restless sleep.

She returned to school, without Lily, and fielded the many questions of where her sister had disappeared to. The days fell into an uneasy pattern, and Petunia began to expect when her father would come to her in the night. She was never strong enough to defy him, and endured what he did to her, each time begging in her mind for Lily to come home, to protect her from this monster they called father, but Lily never came, never protected her. And so, even though Petunia dearly loved her older sister, she began to resent the freedom she had attained.

Petunia stopped speaking, and stared down at her lap where her hands lay folded. She couldn't bear to see the censure and disgust she knew would be evident in Harry's eyes. "Well, since we're finished here, you might as well go out in the garden for a few minutes. You don't have to do anything, mind you, just be out there when Vernon come home. Dudley won't be back until later, seeing as he's with Piers today." Abruptly, she stood from the table and went to the sink, staring out the window into the backyard.

"Will you tell me more tomorrow?" she heard Harry ask softly.

"No, tomorrow's Saturday and Vernon will be home. He's actually planning to take Dudley and me out, so you'll have a day free from us. Then we have church on Sunday. We'll begin again on Monday. The sooner I finish this, the better for both of us."

She heard a chair scrape against the floor, and was relieved that Harry had decided to go outside so she could be alone with her memories. Petunia was shocked to her very core when she felt a strong pair of arms wrap around her waist and a sharp chin set itself on her shoulder. "Harry, what are you doing?"

"Giving you a hug. I wanted so desperately for this story of your past to justify my hate for you and Uncle Vernon. I don't know about him, but I know I can't hate you Aunt Petunia, not any more. There's so little time for hate in my life – I need to be focused on my hate for Voldemort." His voice dropped to a whisper. "Besides that, I think my heart is telling me I love you."

Petunia turned her body slightly to look at him, only seeing Lily's eyes looking back at her, filled with a love she'd not seen in so long. Yes, Vernon loved her, but only when she was perfect, and she'd not been very perfect lately. A small cry that she tried to stifle escaped her lips, and Harry pulled her closer to him, letting her sob on his shoulder.

Her tears were shed quickly, and she'd soon pulled herself together. Harry let his aunt go, and as she began to get ready for supper, he said to her, "I'm going upstairs, Aunt Petunia. There are some people I need to write. I've been neglecting them all summer."

She listened to him leave the kitchen and walk up the stairs, a single thought on her mind: He said that he loves me.