I don't own these characters.

4: Flaw less

Emma woke feeling dizzy and disoriented. Her bed had never felt so comfortable, though. She felt settled, warm, and safe, as well. Not things she was used to, but found she could get accustomed to them. And then she remembered why she felt this way. Turning her head up, she looked to see Regina resting peacefully next to her. The sight of Regina made Emma feel so many things, almost all of them wonderful, but there was a bit remorse and also confusion.

Why the hell did Regina do this for me? Emma did not have an answer beyond their age-old excuse of Henry. Henry had suggested Regina to take care of her, but Regina had not known that when she had taken Emma in. Emma was certain she could live for a thousand years and she would never fully understand Regina Mills.

But, now, she felt like she also did not fully understand herself. Or maybe now she understood herself better than ever. Whatever it was, she did not want to move from this spot because this was security on a level she had never known. For once in her life, she did not feel the need to move, to flee, to search. She was calm on the inside and it was quite the thing.

Emma was not sure she had ever felt quite so settled, except for her year in New York with Henry. She wondered if that was why she had considered going back, chasing the feeling. She thought it was the location. And, maybe it was the location, since she was located here and felt… home.

As Regina made a noise, signs she was stirring, Emma held onto her tighter. She did not want Regina to fall out of bed when she awoke to find herself in the arms of the fully-grown Savior. Regina's eyes fluttered open and for a moment they were the most amazing thing Emma had ever seen until they went wide with panic.

"Miss Swan!" Regina jumped, trying to remove herself from the situation.

"No, please," Emma said, pulling Regina to her. "Please." She needed Regina to stay here, stay with her. She needed to figure out what was going on with her now and she could only do that with Regina there.

Regina managed to pretend to be calm, but Emma could feel her heartbeat as she shamelessly rested her head against Regina's chest. After a few silent seconds, Regina's heart settled into it's proper rhythm, a sound that had given Emma three awesome nightmare-free nights' sleep. This was rare even in her adult years, but unheard of when she was a child.

This thought made Emma caress Regina's side. The mayor tensed, but she did not say anything. Taking a deep breath, Regina tried to relax. Emma appreciated the attempt. But, why the hell is Regina being so nice to me? She should've thrown me out by now, literally.

"The magic finally wore off," Regina pointed out the obvious, more than likely unsure of what else to do. Her words disturbed Emma's thoughts.

"Yeah. It'll be nice to be able to reach the counter again," Emma remarked with a half smile. She bet it looked as awkward as it felt. "Regina…" Her tone was serious.

Regina refused to look at her. "You don't have to."

"No, I do. You don't have any idea what you did for me. You need to know."

"I merely babysat for a couple I know," Regina tried to insisted, attempting to push out of Emma's grip, but not really. If she wanted to get away, she would have.

Emma held her tighter and Regina settled down once more. "You did so much more that, Regina. I know it was this week, but everything with you for me actually feels like it happened when I was six, like it happened years ago, and it's changed something inside of me."

"You could tell that in the minutes between being asleep and waking up?" Regina sounded quite skeptical.

"I know it sounds crazy, but I can feel it." Emma moved one hand, rubbing the center of her chest for a moment. "I feel less… I dunno, jumbled up inside, less suspicious, and less… well, hurt. I feel like some scarring inside of me actually healed."

Regina turned her mouth up. "Really? So, you think it's an all right thing for me to know you went to the bathroom on yourself no less than five times in the past week?"

Emma grunted. Okay, so that was pretty embarrassing. But, not terrible. It certainly was not life-ending. Besides, she doubted Regina would ever actually use the information against her. She trusted Regina, with everything, and this was a symptom of their week together… well, maybe it was more than that. Maybe the week had allowed the trust to grow. After all, before this, Regina had given her so much with Henry and New York. Regina had given her so much and she felt like this week had reawakened the knowledge and feelings that went with this, as well as added to it.

"I peed on myself until I was ten," Emma confessed. "It was one of the number of reasons people always sent me back."

Regina sighed and was silent for a long time, to the point it almost became uncomfortable. "I did it once."

Green eyes squinted a bit as Emma searched Regina's face. "Once?"

Regina frowned a little. "My mother discovered the soiled bedclothes, even though my nanny tried to hide it."

"What did she do?"

Regina swallowed so hard it sounded like it bounced off of the walls. "Made sure I understood it was to never happen again." Her voice was low and grim.

Emma did not have to guess what happened. She had met Cora, after all. It was not surprising to find out she reacted badly to Regina having an accident.

"How old were you?" Emma asked, holding Regina just a little tighter. She wanted Regina to understand she could be there for Regina just like Regina had been there for her. She could return the favor and they could make each other feel safe and secure. She could bring a little shine back to Regina's world.

"Four, but I remember it quite vividly. I never dared have an accident again, but the trouble came out in different ways."

"Like?" Emma wanted to carry the weight of Regina's trauma with her, as Regina carried hers. She hoped Regina understood that. This was not tit-for-tat, but a bonding of sorts, more so than the past week had been.

Sighing loudly, Regina squirmed a little. "I was a sleepwalker for most of my childhood. It was shameful in the old world to be such. There was the belief you were possessed by demons or dark magic or some such nonsense. But, whenever Mother tried to… correct it, I only became worse. Of course, the worse I got, the more furious she became, which led to her doing other things that did not involve correcting the sleepwalking issue."

The sharing made her feel like Regina understood. Regina always understands. "I think people 'corrected' my behavior in a similar way, but they didn't have to keep me around like your mother did. After a while, they just gave up and gave me back. But, in between all of that, now, my mind has you. You made humanity suck just a little bit less for me."

There was something inside Emma now. She was not sure what it was, but she could feel it. It was why she did not want to run, why she felt settled. It was something that made her believe just a little bit more than she used to and it was there because six-year-old Emma found out not everyone would send her back for every little thing. There were people that cared out there, people who would hold onto her as real family through thick and thin. The world had a little more shine to it now.

Regina shook her head. "But, you know it only happened last week."

Emma rubbed her forehead. "But, like I said, in my head, it all happened when I was six. For me, in between being given back and judged and made to feel like I wasn't worth the effort, there's you. You made me feel like I belonged and like everything was okay. I didn't feel broken around you." I don't feel as broken as before, but I feel damn near normal with Regina now. Kinda weird considering a week ago she acted like I was the worst person to ever live.

Regina caressed Emma's head, like she had done when Emma was a child. Emma doubted the mayor was aware of it and Emma did not say anything because she liked this. Regina petting her made her calm down and chased away anxiety, just like it had when she was a child. Those things from the last week, she imagined they would all stick with her and the thing that made it odd was just it all seemed like something that happened to her long ago, even though she knew it had just occurred.

"A child shouldn't be made to feel broken or like there's something wrong with her. You…" Regina's voice cracked. "You were a beautiful, sweet child."

Emma looked up and she had to blink away tears as she locked eyes with Regina. "Thank you…" She did not know what else to say. "Sorry for acting like a brat." She settled back down, hoping Regina would not say anything about the position.

"No need to apologize."

"Still, thank you and sorry. You don't know what you did. I mean, I even feel like I have trust in me. I'm not waiting for everyone to turn on me or screw me over. It's weird and it's against everything I know to be true, but I feel that way. I feel hope and you did it!" Emma insisted. She thought Regina would understand, but she suspected it was hard to understand. She did not understand it much and it happened inside of her. She did think Regina should understand what it meant for someone to be there for her at six years old, though.

Regina nodded. "I understand why you remember this in a six-year-old context, but it's odd for your memory to take it that way."

Emma shrugged. "I don't understand any of this. I'm just telling you how it feels." It was the best she could do at the best of times in Storybrooke anyway.

"It's not me you need to tell."

"Yes, it is. You need to know." Emma sat up again, wanting to look Regina in the eye. "You get it. I know you get it, what you did for me. This feeling inside of me, this thing that makes me feel worthwhile. Yeah, you put it in the kid-me, but the adult-me still feels it." She breathed out and smiled. "And it's just amazing."

Sighing, Regina shook her head. "It's nothing, Miss Swan. You're looking too deeply into it."

"No, I'm not." Emma brought a hand up to Regina's cheek and stared deeply into Regina's eyes, wanting the older woman to feel like she was looking into her very soul. "You made me feel like I matter. I didn't need to prove anything to you. I didn't need to be one way with you. I was me and you accepted that. Again, I know you get how big that is."

Regina held onto Emma's hand. "I suppose." This was as good as confirmation as she would get with a stubborn Regina. She hoped Regina would let down the walls again soon.

"I just…" Emma leaned down, pressing her forehead to Regina's. She felt several things, warm and happy amongst them, when Regina did not pull away. "You're an amazing woman, Regina. I'm sorry for everything, for hurting you and ruining your relationship."

Regina frowned. "Idiot."

Emma chuckled, knowing she was forgiven. She had been forgiven a while ago, she assumed. One day, she would tease Regina about it, knowing it was her childish charm that got her out of trouble, but now was not the time for it. Besides, she did not want to piss Regina off right now. She was completely and utterly serious about everything.

"You're my safe place now, Regina."

"That's fine," Regina said, like it was nothing, like she had not hated Emma just a week ago.

Emma squinted, studying Regina's face. "Is it?" Maybe the walls were already down and Regina was just unsure about what to do about it, which was why her responses were a little off.

"It is."

Emma let those words wander her mind for a few moments. "Is this… Can I… I mean, is this still… home?"

"I would have thought you'd rather return to your parents' house now."

A scowl practically slapped itself onto Emma's face. "Them."

"Yes, them."

Emma sighed, doing her best to remove the scowl. She ended up pouting just a little. "Do you think…" Her brow creased as she paused. "Did they do the right thing?"

"What I think is unimportant. Do you think they did the right thing?" Regina countered.

Emma's eyebrows drew close together, wrinkling her brow all the more as she frowned. "You took care of me and there was only one of you. Why couldn't they take care of me? They could've easily brought Henry here, so they wouldn't be taking care of three kids and they could've done this, but they didn't. It's a bit of a blow."

Regina nodded and ran a finger along Emma's bare bicep. "That's understandable."

The simple finger on her skin made Emma's heart race. "But, thankfully, my six-year-old self didn't know they were my real parents. I just thought they were another set of people who claimed to be my mom and dad. But, now…" Emma bit back her anger, but felt it was safe to tell Regina. This was the woman who knew she peed on herself as a child and had held her during her nightmares, after all. "How many times will these people throw me the hell away?" she snarled.

Regina sighed. "I think that's a conversation you need to have with them."

"I will. I just… I can come back here, right?" She hoped she did not sound like she was begging, even though she was. She did not know what to do with herself now and really needed to be able to return home.

"You can," Regina grunted, like she really did not want that, but Emma knew it was an act. She knew Regina just needed to be a badass at all times, like she needed. "Now, we should rise. I need to make breakfast before Henry wakes up."

Emma nodded and then she grinned. "You actually registered me for school."

Regina frowned, as if she was annoyed. Too bad Emma now knew Regina thought she was cute for the most part. She would milk it for all it was worth.

"You wanted to go and you needed it anyway," Regina stated.

"Yeah, I was always behind. I got left back twice," Emma admitted, scratching her head.

"I'm sure it was because you missed school thanks to people who should have been watching out for you were not doing their jobs."

Emma smiled. "I guess. Eventually, I just gave up and dropped out. I still can't believe you registered me."

"Again, you wanted us to go."

"But, you knew I was going to change back eventually. You really went out of your way to make me feel good, Regina. I don't think I'll ever be able to repay you."

"It's all right, sweetling." Regina flinched as soon as the term of endearment was out of her mouth.

Emma blushed. "I liked you calling me that."

Regina did not respond, easing out of bed and rushing into the en suite bathroom. Emma chuckled at Regina's embarrassment, but knew this was no laughing matter. She felt a lot more things for Regina now than she did a week ago. Or maybe more feelings had come to the surface since last week. Whatever it was, Regina was the only thing she felt confident about right now. She was certain Regina would not hurt her. She trusted Regina with everything now. Regina was the only person she trusted in this manner now.

"You should get dressed," Regina said as she stepped out of the bathroom.

"I would, but I can't fit any of the clothes you bought me," Emma pointed out. All of her real clothes were at her parents' apartment.

"Not that you would wear any of those things now if you could," Regina remarked with a teasing smirk.

A laugh escaped Emma. "I dunno. I thought they were all cute and I liked all of the compliments I got."

Regina snorted and then waved her hand. "All of your clothes are now adult sized."

Emma grinned and trotted off to get dressed, torn pajamas falling off of her as she left. She really did like the clothes Regina bought her. As a child, she appreciated them because they were her own and brand-new and they showed how much Regina cared about her. She suspected Regina understood how much even that meant to her, but she would not bother Regina with it right now.

Thankfully, in her mad dash to the guest room, Emma did not chance upon Henry, who she would have definitely traumatized. She gathered her clothes and was about to head for the shower when she remembered she had a bath last night. Shaking her head, she doubted she would ever get over the idea of Regina bathing her.

"She did so much for me. Why? Just because I was a kid that needed help? Seriously?" Emma could hardly believe that since her own parents did not do anything for her when she needed help. There had to be more to it, but she was not sure what. Part of her was scared to find out because it might be a simple thing and ruin how she felt right now. She shook that away, knowing it would not help to think on such things. She got dressed.

After putting on her black slacks and the gold belt that went with it, she slid on a button-down shirt. She collected her ribbons, running her fingers over them. This led her to looking at the brush on the vanity. Her heart swelled and she smiled.

"Regina's actually got a pretty big heart when given the chance," Emma murmured. It was not surprising, but it still felt nice to experience.

By the time Emma made her way downstairs, Regina had breakfast going. She almost went to go practice her alphabet while she waited for the food, but it was unnecessary. She knew the alphabet, could spell her name, and could count well past ten now. Of course, she would have been able to do those things as a six-year-old if she had someone in her life like Regina. Her thoughts were distracted as Henry bounded the stairs as he did every morning, a morning person just like his adoptive mother.

"Emma!" Henry grinned when he saw her. He flung himself at her, almost knocking them both over.

"Hey, kid, you're way too big to do that," Emma laughed as she wrapped her arms around him.

"I'm never too big to hug you!" he declared and held her tightly. "I missed you."

"How could you? I was a brat to you."

Blinking, Henry pulled away. "So, you remember being a kid?"

"Yeah."

His brow furrowed, clearly trying to make sense of the whole thing. Good luck to him, as far as Emma was concerned. "But, the kid you didn't remember being an adult," he pointed out.

Emma shook her head. "I don't know how this magic stuff works, Henry." She could live to be a million and it would all be a mystery to her.

Laughing, he accepted that. They sat down for breakfast. They did not really talk. Regina barely looked up from her plate. Henry ate and looked back and forth at his mothers, as if waiting for something that did not happen. Everything was a little awkward and Emma knew it was because of her. They had gotten used to her being six, after all.

"You know, I really liked this when I was little," Emma said, hoping it would clear the air and make things better.

"You did this with one of your families?" Henry asked.

Smiling, Emma nodded. "Yeah, this one." She pointed to Henry and Regina. "I liked this because I felt like I was a part of this family."

"You are," Henry said with a laugh, like she was silly.

Emma looked at Regina, who tried so hard not to smile at her, but could not succeed. Emma smiled, too. "Yeah, I am." Just as she felt different about Regina, she knew Regina felt different about her. Or maybe it was that things they had always felt were now closer to the surface than ever before and needed to be acknowledged. They would both need to sort it out.

"I'm sure the town will be thankful to have their Sheriff back, even though considering there was no crime spree while you were indisposed, I have to wonder if your position isn't superfluous," Regina commented.

"You say that now until the town is being threatened by some super-powered crazy," Emma laughed.

"I think I can handle any super-powered crazy without falling for their trap, too," Regina said dryly.

Henry frowned, but Emma took it in stride. Regina was just trying to be normal, set them right back where they were, and make sure the world stayed in orbit. Emma would let it go for now because she had other things to handle, but once she got that out of the way, Regina would need to know things would never be able to go back to the way they were. She now refused the past. Things could be changed. Regina taught her as much.

"So, no more cartoons then?" Henry asked with a lopsided, wiseass grin. His eyes sparkled with mirth to the point even Regina smiled a bit.

Emma chuckled. "Just more time for video games, kid." She missed playing games with him.

After breakfast, everyone moved to set about their day. Emma found herself upset to not be going with Regina. Maybe in the future we can go in together. She would make sure of that. For now, she had to go see Snow and David. She caught up with Regina for a second.

"Hey, I know this is uncomfortable for you," Emma told her.

"I assure you it's not," Regina said, obviously trying to save face.

"Okay, it's not," Emma grinned. "But, I don't want it to be weird."

"It's not," Regina stated. This was the truth.

Emma thought it was odd that things were not odd, but Regina seemed to be acting like it was. She decided she would worry about it later. It was possible Regina was just bracing herself in case something went wrong. Emma would show her there was no reason for that. But, for now, they both had things to take care of, so she let Regina go to work and she went to see her parents.

When she arrived at their door, she almost used her key, but decided against it. Keys were for people who lived there. She knocked.

"Emma!" Snow grinned as she opened the door. Emma could not help thinking how that expression would not last long.

"Hey. Can I come in?" Emma asked, managing to sound almost normal, even though she felt nauseated. Not to mention, the question probably seemed ridiculous to Snow.

Snow's forehead wrinkled in confusion. "Of course, come on." She stepped out of the way and Emma stepped inside. Snow closed the door behind them.

"Is David around?" Emma asked, looking around the loft.

"I'm right here," David replied, stepping into view. He rocked Neal in his arms. Neal looked like he was asleep. David smiled. "I'm glad to see you're back to normal."

Emma shook her head. "Not quite." I'm far from "normal" now.

"Is there anything wrong, Emma?" Snow asked with concern.

"There's plenty wrong, but thankfully there's a lot of stuff right, too," Emma answered, rubbing her head. Her hair fell in her face and she caught the scent of it. For a moment, she remembered Regina washing her hair and brushing it. She had enjoyed those things and was pretty sure Regina did, too.

"I don't understand," Snow said.

"We should sit down." Emma pointed to the table.

David and Snow exchanged a look, but they made their way to the table. Emma followed them. They all sat down and there was an awkward silence between them for a moment. Just do this like a band-aid. There's no need to sugarcoat anything. They didn't sugarcoat it when they dumped you on Regina's couch, after all.

"Here's the thing," Emma said, putting her hands together. "I like you guys a lot, I care about you. I even love you." Her heart broke a little when Snow smiled, clearly not seeing the writing on the wall. David was a little more controlled, but she doubted he knew what was coming either. "I need you guys to understand this isn't a slight against you or this isn't because of magic or because I'm angry with you, but you need to understand from this moment on, I will never see you as my parents."

"What?" David blurted with wide eyes. He stopped rocking Neal, who whined a bit.

"W-why?" Snow asked, face falling in despair.

Emma's mouth ticked, but she managed to keep from scowling. They've got fucking nerve to be questioning me. After everything, she was the one who should be asking all of the questions. How could you claim to love me and then leave me so many times? Do you even know what love is?

"I can't do this anymore. I can't keep trying to please you only to have you abandon me time and time again. Okay, yeah, the first time when the Curse was coming, you thought the worst and shoved me into a tree to God only knows where. Whatever. But, in Neverland, you're ready to freaking stay with him while sending me away?" Emma stared at Snow and shook her head. It was impossible to keep the frown off of her face now.

"He needed me," Snow argued strongly, having the nerve to look shocked that this was even an issue.

"And what about when I need you?" Emma demanded, hitting the table with her fist. Neal cried out again, but she barely noticed. Her eyes narrowed on Snow and David. "Where the hell are you when I need you? It's never about me with you, ever." She pointed to herself. "And I'm not going to try to get your attention anymore. You regret not being able to raise me, but you're ready to stay in a freaking jungle with him while he's busy being an idiot and not telling us he's dying."

"Emma," David scolded her, daring to frown at her while bouncing their replacement baby in his arms.

"No, you don't get to use that tone with me because you're just as bad. You get poisoned and you're just willing to die? Is being my father such a burden you'd rather die?" Emma glared at him.

"Emma, it wasn't about you," he argued.

"Wasn't it?" she hissed, seething that they would try to debate this again. "You're supposed to be my parents and that means putting your child first, but you've never done that with me. It's one goddamn abandonment after another. When the second curse came and you left for the Enchanted Forest, how long did you miss me before you thought, 'we could just make another one, a better one'?"

"Emma, it wasn't like that," Snow tried to assure her, speaking in that sickening, damn near condescending coo of hers.

"Wasn't it?" Emma snapped again, glaring Snow down. "This is your perfect child. Your little baby boy you get to raise, so he can be perfect, so he doesn't have all of the problems I have, so he doesn't get into the trouble that I do and you won't have to abandon him or wish for a better one."

"Emma, you can't seriously think we're trying to replace you," David said.

"I think you only want me when it's convenient for you. I've learned this past year that parenting isn't like that. You can't just keep me close when you want to." Emma tapped the table with force once more. "That's not even close to being a good parent."

"We don't do that," Snow insisted. She leaned forward and for a moment, it looked like she was going to reach across the table. Emma glared at her hand and she wisely pulled back.

"Oh, no? You did it this past week. I needed you, but you didn't have the time to deal with me, so what did you do? You threw me away, again. You don't have to worry about doing that again. I'm an orphan. It's that simple," Emma said. It had to be that simple because she could not stand having parents anymore. Like she hid from them when she was six, she would avoid them now if they kept trying to be her "parents" because her heart could not take the pain anymore, could not shatter again. She would try to piece herself together as best she could and that could only happen with them at an acceptable distance.

"No, you're not," David stated in a forceful tone.

"Yes, I am. I won't keep you from seeing Henry because you're still his grandparents and I hope you won't keep me from seeing Neal because he's my brother, but I don't consider you my parents anymore. My parents would've kept me as a kid," Emma informed them. She was not sure if she meant last week or thirty years ago, but it did not even matter. They threw her away just as easily as every foster parent she ever had.

Snow shook her head and her eyes pleaded with Emma to understand her position. "We didn't want you to hurt anyone. We knew how hurt you'd be if your magic went out of control and you hurt someone."

Emma scoffed. "Bullshit. You didn't want to deal with a kid who wasn't practically perfect in everyway. I was upset. Why the hell didn't you just try to calm me down?" Regina did plenty to calm me down. It didn't take a lot. She had never wanted much, not now, not then.

"You wouldn't be calm and you almost burned the kitchen down," Snow pointed out.

"You blew up the sink," David added.

"Yeah, and you were so worried about me hurting Neal that you shipped me off to Regina and then sent Henry over there. I can see you weren't too worried about him," Emma said, rolling her eyes.

"Sending Henry was the only way Regina would agree to watch you," David replied.

"You're missing the fucking point. Regina was willing to have me in her home with her son while my goddamn parents wouldn't keep me around their son. I can't even begin to describe to you what sort of experience that was," Emma said, her voice cracking a bit. She forced herself to not tear up. She would not cry in front of them. They had not earned that. Rejection doesn't even begin to cover it. What the hell? I'd feel better if they just called me a fuck up to my face. It would be more honest anyway.

"Is that what this is about? We're sorry if Regina treated you poorly. She seemed to be doing well," Snow said.

Emma laughed. "Regina was fucking awesome. You're so impossible. I don't think you'll ever get it. You'll come up with excuses from now until the day you die about how you were justified in doing what you did, every single time you do something fucked up. You're the ones who are fucked up. Not me." Well, maybe we're fucked up together, but I'm definitely not alone in this.

"Emma," David scolded her again, nodding toward the baby in his arms.

"Don't worry. You won't have to worry about my bad mouth. I'm going. Maybe one day, we can all be friends, but I'm not going to consider you my parents ever again," Emma stated, pushing away from the table. She did not care how bad it sounded. Nothing could possibly be worse than them leaving her at Regina's house and then acting like everything was fine. They lucked out that Regina was cool about it. Considering how pissed Regina was with her last week, she would have thought Regina would immediately take revenge on her, even if she was in kid form. Although having a bedtime of eight o'clock might have been revenge.

"Emma, you can't do this!" Snow objected, chasing after her. She paused as Neal cried out, startled by her loud shout.

"Go see to the kid that matters. He needs both of you, after all. I don't need either." Emma marched to her room, wanting to collect her few belongings.

"Emma," Snow whimpered. Emma ignored her.

-8-8-8-8-

Regina was completely distracted from her work, finding herself actually wondering what Emma was doing. She had come in earlier and almost pulled out crayons and a coloring book, but then remembered she did not have a six-year-old with her anymore. Camille thankfully did not comment on it; the girl was smart, which was one of the reasons why Regina had given her such an important job in the Curse.

"Maybe it is my biological clock," Regina tried to convince herself, but she knew it was more than that. In caring for Emma, she learned that she cared for Emma. The very idea was revolting.

She tried to convince herself that she only cared when Emma was a child, but she knew from her actions that morning it went beyond that. She did not know what to make of it, though. It was all so bemusing because she was certain this all started when Emma was a child, but there was something more now. She did not know what "more" could be, though. Or maybe she did not want to know what "more" could be.

"It has to be from when she was a child. It couldn't have been there before that," she tried to convince herself. But, it seemed like the more she told herself this, the more she feared it was a lie.

If she had not cared for Emma in the first place, she would not have taken her in. Yes, she had buried the hatchet with Snow and David and would do simple favors for them, but watching Emma had been more than that. She had not wanted Emma to suffer.

"But, I did want her to suffer, after what she did," Regina muttered, frowning. Truthfully, she knew if she wanted Emma to suffer, Emma would have been suffering the moment everything happened. Instead, Regina ran off and brooded in her house. Why?

She hated knowing the answer to the question. She had cared about Emma. This was the woman who took care of Henry for a year, good care. Emma had helped her save the town from supposedly unstoppable destruction, move the moon to save Henry from Pan, and stood by her when everyone else thought she murdered the bug until Rumple stepped in to make matters difficult. Hell, she had taken in a death curse to save Emma. Sure, it was at the request of their son, but she almost died for the irksome blonde.

"I couldn't have cared for her even back then, could I?" Regina wondered. She doubted she did, but it seemed odd that she would almost die for a woman she hated just because Henry asked her to save Emma. But, then again, Emma had stared down an angry mob for her at Henry's request, which seemed just as preposterous as her inhaling a death curse because of their son.

Her concentration was shot for the day as she tried to put her emotions and thoughts in order. Returning home, Regina knew she had gotten no work done, even though she could not recall what she had done all day. She found herself fixing snacks for a child who was no longer there. Frowning, she leaned against the corner and growled. Henry came in just as she was about to throw them out.

"Oh, peanut butter rolls!" Henry grinned. Regina put them down on the counter and he retrieved chopsticks to dig in. "Did Emma turn back into a little kid?"

Regina shook her head. "No, I made them from habit."

Henry laughed. "She trained you in a week, huh?"

Regina almost snapped at him, but remembered who he was just in time. Instead, she smiled. "You trained me in days." How could I disregard him while wallowing over Robin? Ridiculous.

A bright smile shined in his eyes as he laughed again. "You're a good mom, Mom. I'm sorry I didn't appreciate you, but watching you with Emma this week, it makes me realize how lucky I've always been to have you."

"Are you sure lucky is the word you want to use?" she asked with a teasing smile, even though she truly needed to know. She wanted to know he forgave her for the way she treated him in keeping those secrets, but also how she shut him out recently.

He nodded slightly. "I'm sure. Living in New York, it helped open my eyes some and I've also thought a lot about the people here. I know loving parents aren't as easy to come by as they should be. You have a big heart. You make mistakes and you do things wrong, but people do. Through all of that, though, you always put me first."

Regina smiled, happy he was all right with her, even though she knew she had made some rather big mistakes. "I'm supposed to put you first. I'm your mother."

"And you're a good one. You were great with Emma. I watched Grams and Gramps with her that first day and they looked so freaking lost. They didn't know what to do when she started crying and throwing tantrums, but you jumped right into it."

Regina scoffed. "It wasn't that difficult. As I said, she just needed some attention."

"Yeah, but they couldn't figure that out. You did."

Regina did not want to tell him why she understood what Emma needed as a child. Henry would not be able to comprehend, which was good. Despite everything Henry had gone through, he thankfully would never be able to fully understood neglect and the several different types of child abuse. Snow and David would not have been able to immediately figure what Emma needed for the same reasons. So, she did not fault them either, but they should have tried harder with Emma. No one should ever just give up on their child.

"You know… if you want to have another kid, I wouldn't mind," Henry said before picking up a peanut butter and jelly roll.

Regina's jaw almost dislocated from how quickly her mouth dropped open. "Excuse me?"

His eyes sparkled as he tried to hold in a laugh, but failed. "If you want to have another kid. You really liked having Emma around. Maybe you should adopt another kid. I wouldn't mind. It was fun being a big brother."

"I'm fine, Henry."

Henry sort of rocked his head from side to side, as if taking in this information and running it around his brain. Regina was not sure what conclusion he came to and he gave no hints as he changed the subject slightly.

"Do you think you would've been happier with a girl?" he asked before eating another roll.

Her eyebrows drew together. "Why would you ask that?"

He shrugged; it reminded her of Emma. "You seemed really happy with Emma… well, kid-Emma. I thought maybe you wish you had adopted a girl."

"Henry." Regina walked over to him and embraced him from behind. She rested her head on his shoulder, discovering he was almost her height. My little prince isn't so little anymore. He grew up so fast. She sighed. "I will always be happy with you. There was never a time when I wish I had adopted any other child. I've always been happy with you and I will always be happy with you."

He smiled and patted her arm. "Okay. I thought maybe… you know… I mean, you dressed her up in nice clothes." He chuckled at this, all too aware of how silly he sounded.

Stepping away, Regina arched an eyebrow. "I never dressed you in nice clothes?" Henry always had a wardrobe with her. He had a collection of shoes and ties, as well, but he had stopped wearing most of those things when he could dress himself. He had developed a love of t-shirts when he discovered comic books.

Dipping his head, he smiled a little again. "Okay, never mind. But, I think you might like having a daughter. You were really good with Emma."

Regina shook her head. "I was just taking care of her for the week. You're reading too much into it." I don't need nor want another child… right? She had worried this whole thing had been due to her biological clock and now she was worried it was due to unrecognized emotions toward Emma, but she was not sure that discounted her first theory.

He did not say anything, but the smirk on his face said he thought otherwise. "Where is Emma, anyway? Is she coming back?"

"I'm sure she is." Of course, Emma should have been back by then.

As night came and drew on, Emma still did not show up. They had dinner and still no Emma. Henry looked at the clock every few minutes. Regina still felt like Emma would return, but Henry feared she had run off.

"You know how she feels about weird magic stuff, Mom. She was going to take me back to New York because of the memory stuff," he reminded her.

Regina almost frowned, but caught herself. "I doubt she'd run off and not say anything to you, dear. We both know this isn't the same Emma who first came to Storybrooke. She's your mother." It surprisingly did not hurt to say that aloud.

Sighing, Henry nodded. "You wouldn't leave without me, right?"

"I wouldn't and neither would she. But, if it makes you feel any better, we can go out and look for her tomorrow if she doesn't come back by then. She probably just needs some time and space to think about what happened."

This appeased him enough to go to bed. Even though Emma was a runner, Regina was certain she would be back. There was a real mother in Emma now as well and Emma would never be able to leave Henry behind, especially not after what she had been through.

-8-8-8-8-

Regina was awakened as the bed depressed. Emma climbed over her and settled on what was "her side" from the few days she spent there as a child. She cuddled up next to Regina as if it was something she did every night. Regina did not say anything because this felt right. She enjoyed being held and holding Emma. Okay, so maybe these feelings were there before Emma turned into a child. Dammit.

"Where have you been?" Regina asked curiously, her voice low and a little gruff from sleep.

"Getting my head together, breaking up with Hook, even though I didn't think there was anything there to break up, but he thought otherwise, and telling my parents I don't consider them parents," Emma answered.

"Ah, so making good use of your time." This smartass response was out of her mouth before she realized and she hoped it did not make matters worse. While she would rather pretend none of this ever happen and therefore keep the status quo and have everything in its proper place, she was not sure she could and she doubted Emma wanted to, considering how busy her day was.

"Of course you would say that." Emma's tone was more playful than anything else. "None of them got why I was doing any of that stuff, either."

"Of course not," Regina commented. Snow and Charming were too simple and Hook was too arrogant, so nothing could ever be their faults.

"Of course not? You really think my parents don't get they've abandoned me a bunch of times and even replaced me?" Emma asked with a furrowed brow, turning to face Regina, who was on her back.

Regina almost smiled when she saw the expression. She was still adorable when confused. Dammit, okay, so it probably wasn't my biological clock. Sighing, Regina decided to not think about it anymore.

"From their perspective, they've saved you several times," Regina said, knowing this to be true.

Emma frowned. "Do you think that's true? I overreacted?"

"No, I don't think you did and your emotions are your own anyway. Do you want me to be honest?" Regina asked because she would lambaste the Charmings and the pirate from now until the sun rose if she was allowed to. Hell, even if she were not allowed to, she would do it eventually. Right now, though, she did not want to trouble Emma more so than she was already.

"Please."

Turning onto her side a little, Regina faced Emma. "Whatever you said to your parents, you had a right to say, just like you had a right to hide from them the day they came here and like you had a right to leave that day on the pier. You have a right to your emotions and to feel what you feel, no matter what they say or how they view things. Those people… they didn't know what to do with you and they didn't try. You were no longer theirs once they put you through that tree." Regina would not apologize for her hand in that. She did not make their decisions.

Emma frowned more and cuddled in closer to Regina. Regina realized Emma sought comfort and security in her. This should have bothered her, but it did not. She wondered if it was because little Emma had done so just yesterday or because she truly did not mind adult Emma burrowing in deep. Do I actually like this? Part of her feared she did, but the action itself kept her calm and relaxed. It was like Emma belonged there, like Regina had longed to have her there and now the wait was finally over.

"They act like it's my fault. The tree, in Neverland, in the confession cave or whatever the hell it was, the second curse, and now. It's never their fault, so something must be wrong with me. Something's wrong with me, so they send me back," Emma grumbled.

Regina knew those last words were directed at more than Emma's parents, or at the very least every set of parents Emma had ever had. They always sent her back or sent her away. Regina pulled her just a little closer.

"Nothing is wrong with you, Emma. They couldn't handle you. None of them could handle you. They expected the perfect child, but children aren't perfect. Do you know, when I got Henry, all he did was cry? I blamed him at first because it was easier. No one wants to admit they're so broken even a child can tell, so I shifted the blame. He was broken and I considered sending him back."

Emma's eyes went wide and she gasped. "You did?"

Sighing, Regina managed to keep a straight face. "I did, but as you can see I kept him. I couldn't give up on him and even if it was him, I wanted to do everything in my power to make things better for my son. He was so colicky. He cried for months before I could finally soothe him," she reported. Just remembering it made her a little misty.

Regina could not believe she had almost given up on Henry, all because looking after him was hard. No one who raised a child would think it was supposed to be easy. Now, she could not imagine giving up on him for anything. Hopefully, he did not ever get too out of control because she would go down with that ship.

"But, you didn't send him back," Emma said, a little smile in her voice.

Absently, Regina stroked Emma's hair. It was soft and felt like silk. She wanted to brush it again. Maybe one day she would be allowed to do just that.

"I didn't, but when I was going to, like I said, I assumed he was broken. But, children cry. It's what they do, especially babies. I just needed to realize that. All too often, people don't stop to realize what children need and what they do just because they're children. You threw tantrums because you were a child and you wanted attention. Your parents didn't stop to think about that. They saw sparks and they saw the tantrum and after a while their immediate thought was something was wrong with you, but again, you were just a child. You had a child's needs. Something was wrong with them."

Emma tensed, like she did not expect to hear those words. "Something couldn't have been wrong with all of them. I mean, I was the common denominator."

"Be that as it may, they didn't have the patience for a child. You said you had already gone through three families before the Charmings. They didn't have the patience. I'm sure they saw your bedwetting and need for attention as an annoyance. They wanted the perfect little blonde child, but there is no perfect child as there is no perfect human. We are all flawed."

Emma nodded against her shoulder. "You always know the right thing to say now."

Regina sighed. "I guess… it's the admission that we are all flawed. You are flawed, Miss Swan. I cannot begrudge you this any longer. But, beware, as the path to Hell is paved with good intentions. Your parents behavior with you should be the star case."

Emma scoffed. "What good intentions?"

"Did they not intent good things when they left you here?"

"I guess that's true. Regina…"

"Yes?"

"Can I stay here?"

Regina's brow furrowed. She could have sworn they had this conversation already. "I believe we went through this. Has the magic turned your brain into mush? Oh, wait, it was already like that, was it not?"

Chuckling, Emma sat up just enough to look Regina dead in the eye. Regina could see a swirl of emotions, emotions she knew Emma could not have possibly sorted out yet. Regina felt her own torrent raging throughout her body. Perhaps, once she got used to Emma being back to normal, everything would settle and she would figure out.

"No, can I stay here?" Emma repeated. She then did something that made her words much clearer, but did nothing for their emotions. Her eyes fell to Regina's lips and she placed a tender, rather chaste kiss to Regina's mouth. She slid a hand up Regina's chest, covering her heart. "Can I stay here?" Could she stay in Regina's arms, in her heart?

Regina sighed, there was only one answer. "You may."

"I knew it. It's because you think I'm so cute, right?" Emma grinned, trying to cut through the raw emotion now with her rather thin wit. This would be Henry soon enough.

Regina rolled her eyes and scoffed. "You are nothing of the sort."

"Oh, you thought I was adorable yesterday," Emma laughed and Regina groaned. "Did I just make it weird?"

Regina turned away. "Go to sleep, sweetling." She felt Emma settle against her body.

-8-8-8-8-

Next time: a rather long epilogue to wrap things up.