Hello everyone! This one-shot came to me in the middle of the night while I was pondering why L takes only cases that interest him, and I wanna get it out of my head...this made me also think about Yandere Dev's e-mail issues, and the massive explosion of emails that he recieves, and all the murders and other cases in the world that he takes using his other detective codes, and the fact that there are millions, perhaps billions of potential cases that he could take using his 3 identities. He has to be contacted somehow, and perhaps in a manner similar to Yandere Dev's predicament (through Watari, obviously). Also, no PI wants to become a crutch of the law, because what would happen if something were to happen to him? This takes place before L set the specifications of what cases be would take other than them having to be cases that you can't solve yourself, because I've always felt that he took all of the cases that he recieved early in his career until he got too many emails, as well as enough renown to be more choosy in what cases he takes...also, since the Death Note plot hasn't happened (yet), I have it taking place in 2016...because why not? So...from these thoughts came the concept of this story. Enjoy and please review to my shit. It makes me happy.

Dedication: This story is dedicated to Yandere Dev.


L Lawleit logged into his private email after yet another case, trying to fine another case to work on. After all, it's his job. He opened his e-mail inbox to find no fewer than fourteen thousand, eight hundred and eight new emails forwarded to him through Watari's e-mail within the last 24 hours. Hmm...Did I read that number correctly?! 14,808 unread e-mails?! L checked the number once, twice, and even a third time before deciding that he was not hallucinating, this was in fact the actual number of e-mails that he'd recieved. He had Watari filter out the ones that weren't murders, or just trolls (however, he had Watari send the missing persons cases and smaller murder cases, through seperate e-mail addresses, to his Coil and Daneuve accounts, respectively.), but this was still waytoo many emails to handle. Way, way, way too many emails. Woah...how long is this going to take? I'd better take the ones that were sent earliest, and hope that I don't get any new e-mails anytime soon...that would be absolutely disasterous...I'd better get started, then...

And so he spent the next 14 hours reading e-mails, sorting out which ones were elaborately designed trolls, cases that the law enforcement could figure out themselves (Repeat after me, Attorney General: L is not a crutch. L is not a crutch. L is not a crutch. Sincerely, the man who is not your crutch.), and other, completely trivial cases titled "Murder" that were created simply by people attempting to get L to put surveillance on their lover whom they believe to be cheating on them. (Dear Celebrities: I am not Keith Mars. Please stop coming to me about your lover's infidelities. Sincerely, L.) Of course, with 14,000+ new e-mails recieved in 24 hours, Watari has hardly the time to read the titles, let alone read the contents.

L created a single e-mail that Watari was to be forward to all of the rejected cases (of course, he had Watari copy and paste the contents of the e-mail, lest his e-mail address be leaked and exacerbate his already massive e-mail issues), a list of the people who had brought the cases to him in a list sent in a seperate e-mail.

The former e-mail read:

「To all respondents;

I am sorry to inform you that I cannot take on all of the cases that I have recieved. I will contact those who have given me cases that I will look into via phone call.

To the Attorney General:

Please forgive me in saying that not all of the cases that I have been contacted about were very important. I am fairly certain that your department could solve many of these themselves without my assistance, thus I do not wish to assist.

To those who wish me to figure out whether or not your lover is cheating on you:

Please do not contact me again for cases of this sort. I do not wish to hear it. Please Do not do it again. How did you even figure out Watari's e-mail?

To the trolls:

I, personally, find that this conduct is very annoying and simply, in a word, spams up my e-mail inbox. Do not do it again. How did you even recieve Watari's e-mail address?

Sincerely,

L」

L blinked his eyes in a very forced manner before picking up his cell phone to call the Director General of the NPA about a case that he had found to be hard enough to be of interest to him.


24 hours later

After Watari had sent the e-mail to those who were to be disappointed by his refusal to take them on, he made 400 phone calls and began to actually look at the case files. After looking at each of these case files, he opened up his e-mail inbox to find...

Over 600,000 new e-mails. L's eyes nearly popped out of his head when he saw the astronomical figure that appeared in his e-mail inbox. This is getting out of hand...I swear that I had read all of my e-mails before! Why is this happening? Hmm...

L clicked through several thousand e-mails before determining that 90% of the...what do you call this...explosion of e-mails had been from angry respondents to the cases that he had rejected. He needed to set some standards. And fast. There were only ridiculous, easy, or troll cases in his e-mail inbox.

Watari obviously hadn't had the time to look through 600,000 e-mails.

"Watari...I think that I need new standards on what cases I'm going to take. This is absolutely ridiculous."


Yeah...please leave a review if you like it (or if you don't)...I'll be happy either way!