Cat Lady: Well, it has been quite an eventful- and long- period of time. I do have pieces written on paper, but as for now, all my computer manuscripts have fallen prey to a vicious computer virus that can only be known as HATRED. I won't go into details, for the world of LazyTown is one of joy and wonders and magicalness, one so innocent that it cannot be tainted by the slings and arrows of reality.

But I will be so bold as to point out that Neil Gaiman and Magnús Scheving have the same birthday. Which I highly suspected- but actually did not find out until AFTER I started this story. Leaving their fates- and stories- forever intertwined in the lost library of the Dreaming.

Oh- and for some reason, I can no longer access LT Streaming. Which means it will now be a monumental pain each and every time I want to write a chapter based on an episode. But I have inspiration for a new story after suddenly being plunged into slasher FILMS again. I keep forgetting that there's a huge difference between boyxboy slash and horror slash, so every time I hear the words "Freddy VS Jason", I crack up. Here's a tip for what to look for in any upcoming LazyTown fanfics of mine- Have you ever thought of what it would be like if Robbie died young? And if- BECAUSE this happened- Sportacus ended up being a serial killer instead?

Ugh. This beginning is entirely too long, I humbly apologize. I also beg forgiveness that I will be playing the rest of this fanfic by ear on the episodes until I can manage to find more online episodes on youtube or something. I'M SO SORRY I HAVEN'T WRITTEN IN FOREVER!


"On reflection, while I cannot give you the thing itself, I could give you a dream of my love."

"I already have that, my lord."

-Dream and Nuala, in The Kindly Ones.


\\...I can't remember but it's alright, a-alright...\\


The last moments replayed in her head, and as she recalled the crushing disappointment she felt as she realized that it was her fault that he was unsafe- that he must die because she was selfish enough to use the last boon that Morpheus had bestowed upon the gem necklace she had been given to force him out of safety just to see him again- to confess her unrequited love...

Stephanie's house of cards came tumbling down as Milford Meanswell entered the room. The one she had been building all day. It was actually more of an Eiffel Tower than a house. And Milford ruined it with his clumsy way of opening doors, thrusting it open like one would if kicking it down to escape a burning building. And so she nearly forgot what she was thinking about altogether.

She decided to ask questions about LazyTown and if there were other kids and where in Heaven's name they all were when it was a perfectly fine day outside, and any halfway-normal kid in his right mind would be outside playing. This resulted in the most ridiculous answer.

"Nobody does that."

Well, if nobody did that, then why would she be mentioning it now?

Stephanie tried her luck outside, but only came across a blonde boy with a big lollipop and some taffy.

"Hello, I'm Stephanie!" she tried, waving to him. Almond-shaped blue eyes and a pudgy face looked up at her blankly for a second before holding up a piece of taffy.

"My name is Ziggy. Want a piece?" he smiled at her almost wolfishly, and she declined immediately. She didn't expect any 7-year-old to ever smile like that. How appropriate that his parents had the nerve to name their kid after one of David Bowie's many alter-egos.

"Do you just sit here and eat candy all day?" she asked.

"Pretty much, yeah."

So much for that conversation.

She came across two children fighting, one looked like Toni Basil straight out of her "Hey Mickey" video, and the other looked like a mini Ryan Seacrest in a yellow suit. Stephanie couldn't tell what they were fighting about, but they weren't even playing anything together. She took a quick glance at them, then scurried off. No need to get involved in something that wasn't her problem to begin with- it might make it worse. The pink-haired ex-fae slid by unnoticed- she would make a note to learn about them before trying to pry them apart- if it was a childhood crush, she didn't want to ruin anything. A sudden thought drifting back to her own crush slid from her mind and broke into fragments when she found herself face-to-face with a very tall, very pointy house with a gigantic satellite sticking out of it.

"YIKES! Who in the Dickens lives HERE...? Invader Zim? Goodness, I hope not!" Stephanie looked around the front, searching for any sort of pink pufferfish ornaments or lawn gnomes with lazer beams that were going to try to vaporize her. None in sight- she was in luck. Stepping forward, she knocked bravely on the floor, peeking through the window. "Oh- a computer nerd. I guess that makes sense. Looks kinda messy- typical bachelor pad mess..."

Her thoughts were disrupted when she heard a happy voice shout, "Come in," and she opened the door, only to find a young version of Moby, a snowboarder who often could be found in the Dreaming's Library looking for books on werewolf antiserums. He had the same sun-bleached gold-orange dreadlocks, technological headgear, and baggy pants. It also helped that his skin and eyes could be described as a fine chocolate. "Could you hold on a second? I'm in the middle of this lev-....." The boy practically froze in place when he caught the very sight of her.

"Hi! I'm Stephanie..." she waved to him, her arm being nudged to the side when the other kids from the neighborhood rushed in, making themselves at home.

"Sorry we're late, Trixie was in front of MY car..." The yellow-suited Seacrest boy sat on the couch with a bowl of popcorn. Trixie, the Toni Basil look-alike, rolled her eyes before she looked at the TV screen.

"Pixel, you're losing!" She pointed out angrily, taking some of the popcorn before the selfish boy could notice.

"It's okay....." Pixel said, to which the boy in yellow asked Trixie if it really was, not believing his ears. This resulted in him noticing her with his popcorn, and the two got in a hand-smacking fight, spilling half the popcorn. There were shouts of 'Stingy, now look what you did,' and 'It was your fault Trixie,' moments before Pixel finally snapped out of his trance and introduced himself to Stephanie, who was hoping her glamour wasn't to blame for his odd behavior. It probably was.

"I'm Pixel- What's that you're holding?" He pointed at the soccer ball that she had forgotten she was even carrying. This gave Stephanie a chance- maybe NOW they would want to play something outside with her- she was bored out of her mind.

"It's a soccer ball!" she pronounced with probably more enthusiasm than she should have used, "Do any of you want to play soccer with me now?"

"Thats what we're doing, Pinkie!" Trixie pointed at the TV screen.

"No, I mean outside!" The ex-faery sighed, shook her head, and spoke as if she was explaining something to children half their age- "Don't you ever play any games outside?"

They all shook their heads. No, they most certainly did NOT play outside.

"But- It's GREAT! Running and jumping in the fresh air-....." She realized for the first time that maybe that was only something faeries enjoyed. Still, it wasn't healthy for them to remain indoors continually. "Haven't you ever kicked a soccer ball before? Hit a baseball?" Stephanie was going to KILL the negligent parents of these children when she found them.

She decided she would SHOW them how much fun it was.

When Robbie Rotten finally made it back from his meeting in the garden, emerging from the labyrinth of pipes, the commotion he heard was NOT welcome. He opened the hatch of his silo/lair and emerged from the pipe gently, enraged that he was hearing fae song from a girl who was supposedly an EX-fae. He searched for her, with full intent on giving her a piece of his mind. That kind of thing was very distractingly cute around the dreaming library, when nobody was supposed to be looking, but THIS- This was not okay. Not one bit. Now it was for the children- people who couldn't appreciate her beauty.....

Oh. She was just trying to get them to play a game with her. Well, that was almost devious enough for him to understand. Still- why force the kids outside? They were fine inside- His domain was reading, which naturally made sports a sort of irritating endeavor for him. Even more irritating if people weren't reading BECAUSE of sports. Understandably there needed to be a balance- which he kept with ballroom dancing.....

This small compromise with health was the only thing that kept the soccer ball winding up in his hand instead of performing poor dentistry on his face. He elegantly rose like a phantom from behind the rusty door, holding up the ball with one hand. He smirked at the fae.

"Uh oh, it's Robbie Rotten!" One of the kids spoke.

"Who's that?" Stephanie asked, looking at the man. She was told that Lucien was here, but if this was Lucien- what in God's name happened to him? His hair was flattened down and considerably darker, his glasses were gone, his outfit hardly changed in style but it was now so tight that you could nearly see everything without having to.....She thought she was going to be sick, because it looked as if Lucien had suddenly turned Emo. The only thing that she could recognize him by was his height and his grey eyes, but even that- his eyes were crueler, almost darker. It was quite possibly the worst first impression ever.

Trixie piped up. "Oh, he's only the laziest, rottenest, no-do-ANYTHING spy in ALL of LazyTown!"

"Why THANK you! It took YEARS of practicing....." He chimed almost sarcastically, sighing internally. He played his role almost perfectly- nobody would care about him, and he would keep this from going any further.....He pointed at the soccer ball, "-What is THIS?"

"It's a soccer ball! We were playing-"

"Playing!?" he paused, then held out some candies to Ziggy, "You want some?"

"OOH! YES!" The boy jumped up and down, glee in his pale blue eyes.

"If I give it to you, will you GO AWAY?" The librarian snapped, pulling the candy away.

"I'm already gone!" as soon as Ziggy said this, he was given the candy and ran off.

"And lookie what else I have...A NEW VIDEO GAME!"

Stephanie sighed, irritated as the boy named Pixel ran off with it. As if his microwave-shaped computer could HANDLE six thousand levels.

"By the way, that video game was yours." He added quickly, looking at Stingy, who then ran after Pixel, screaming 'It's MINE'.

Finally Robbie looked at his nails and casually asked- "Have you ever heard the sound of a rubber ball breaking a window?" It was almost a statement.

"Nuh-uh-uh-uh......" Trixie said, shaking her head.

"Would you like to?" he grinned happily.

"WOULD I!" She cheered, and Robbie tossed her the ball.

"HEY!" Stephanie shouted, enraged. This was NOT Lucien. Lucien was kind, shy, and quiet. Sure, there was a side to him that only came out when he was pushed to the breaking point- no. No.

"You didn't stand a chance." He said it like a rude cheerleader would, a sad smile turning into half a smirk. "Now why don't you just sit quietly and do NOTHING like a good little girl?" The lithe man stormed off, and Stephanie rolled her eyes as she saw the hip-wiggle he seemed to have adopted since falling into this wasteland of a way-too-colorful town. She would get to the bottom of this.

Once it stopped making her so sad.

She sang to make herself feel better. It didn't.

So the ex-fae decided that now was the time to write in her diary.

Dear Daniel,

Something is terribly wrong with Lucien. Everyone calls him Robbie Rotten. He looks like he fell into some sort of depression- his outfit is really tight and dark now- and his glasses are gone. He also changed his hair. It scares me, and he's acting really weird. Angry-like.

It's as if he doesn't remember who he was.

I await your orders.

Stephanie

"Hot chocolate, Stephanie?" Mayor Meanswell came in with a yellow cup.

Stephanie laughed. "No thanks, Uncle Milford." Idiot.

PS- Milford's got a lot to learn about faes, if you told him ANYTHING. Tried to give me hot chocolate. That's only really booze for elves- right?

"Why- what's wrong dear? You look so- so sad!"

Or the- No, their ancestors. Does that race still exist?

"Yeah, well it's just that LazyTown is a little.....messy." Stephanie closed her diary.

Gasp. "You think so? Well- uh- I guess it's just a little- uh- I suppose I could clean it up..."

"That would be a good idea." Uh- DUH. Or you could continue to make me miserable, but you know, I'm just your one and only niece, right? Not anything special here, just an ex-fae..."-You ARE the Mayor..."

Another gasp. "You know? That's true! I'll pull the weeds and fix the gate- Oh dear, that's a lot to do..."

"But the REAL problem is that none of the kids play outside in LazyTown!" Touche, Colonel Mustard. What's your excuse now?

"Well, I- I can't change that." You CAN'T? Why are you the Mayor if you can't even do anything good for the community? "Well, y'know they USED to, but- uh- but then they stopped..."

"I don't wanna sit inside all day playing video games..."

Third gasp today. Note- Find out Mayor's birthday and get him inhaler as gift. "You know- I think I might know someone who can help!"

"Really?" Stephanie quipped, finally looking hopeful.

"Yes- I remember a story- about a hero who came from an island in the North Sea!" Also get him a map for his birthday. With a big arrow pointing to Iceland. Where we are right now. Are we even close to the North Sea? "I couldn't remember his name, but there was a big number 9 on his chest..." Oh my GOD. Well, that explains THAT. Revolution #9. I wouldn't exactly consider the UK an ISLAND, but to each his own, I guess. And it's RIGHT NEXT TO the North Sea... "Oh, and he moved around ALL the time!" Swishing sound effects, accompanied by traumatizing pelvic thrusts. He DID get around a lot- went to America and back, and apparently here, too..... "I think he may have even been- A SUPERHERO!"

A Stephanie gasp. His standards are way too low. But, after Watchmen, I'll believe anything. "A superhero!?"

"Yes, and he lives in an airship! And when the kids wanted to contact him, they would write a letter, and send it to him through a tube next to the mailbox!"

"Wow!" Wow, WTF? An AIRSHIP? Obviously something was amiss. "Do you think I could send him a letter?"

"I'm not sure it works anymore, but it's worth a try! I think I have that tube around here somewhere- I'll go get it."

-two seconds later-

"HERE IT IS!" A caulk gun? How am I supposed to- "Oh, no, that's a cake decorating device!" WHAT THE- Okay, he uses a CAULKING GUN to decorate cakes. I hope he isn't decorating them with caulk. Note- never eat cakes made by the Mayor.

-two MORE seconds later-

Stephanie brought the tube to the mailbox, only to find it overgrown with weeds and stopped up with a cork- an addition that looked recent. Huh.

Robbie caught a glance of her trying to pry the cork off the tube. "What? No!"

She wiggled it a little bit. Almost there...

"Don't do it, little girl.....It will only cause trouble..." He cautioned, but she couldn't hear him over the popping of the cork.

"No- No..."

"Please work..." Stephanie begged, dropping the tube into the pipe and letting it fly.

"NOOOO!" Robbie shouted, looking up to the tube as if watching a bullet fly directly towards a person's heart. Whatever happened next was all to blame on the little pink girl that he used to know as the adorable fae Nuala. His picture-perfect image of her crumbled, and he pushed any memories he had of her to the farthest corners of his mind, where they couldn't be reached.

The only safety for 'that person' was far away from LazyTown. Far away from the dancing pink menace who was probably sent here for the same reason he was. Far away from himself.

-Somewhere far above the world, In 'that person's Blue Airship-

A man dressed in a rather snug blue costume spun elegantly through the air, catching the tube that had flown into his airship. Landing perfectly, he unfurled the pink paper inside.

"I've got mail!" He exclaimed in surprise. Mail didn't come too often, and it was a rare occurrence when it did arrive. The man read the letter aloud, as the sound of at least one voice in his airship kept him company, even if it was his own.

To whom it may concern...

I need help. There's no one to play with in LazyTown.

Sincerely,

Stephanie

"Okay-" Another flip through the air, and he was across the airship, opening a very old book with the town's name on the front. It looked like a book that might have been taken right out of the Dreaming Library. "-I've heard of LazyTown before...It used to be a GREAT place to live! Now it needs help..." He pulled out a blue piece of paper, scribbling 'Help is on the way', and begun folding it into a paper airplane. "Well, if Stephanie needs me, then I'm on my way to LazyTown."

He sent the letter on its way down to Stephanie, and began preparing the airship for descent.

-At the Mailbox, where an impatient Stephanie waits...-

Sigh. "Well, I guess no one's coming..." The pink-haired girl tapped the mailbox, looking glum. I thought not. Lennon's dead. I saw the news when it happened.

Robbie looked on hopefully. "Maybe it won't work.....Maybe he's on a vacation. And maybe- he's quit all the superhero business!" But his hopes died when he saw the blue paper airplane that fell into her hand. "What- NO!"

Stephanie smiled as she read it. "Help is on the way!" She repeated the words gladly, looking skyward. And likewise, a blue airship descended from the heavens. Holy- All it needs is a heavenly choir!

The man came flipping out of the airship so fast she could barely see who it was. "Are you Number Nine?" she asked, instantly she was presented with a view of his back.

"Nope, I'm Number Ten! My name is Sportacus." He shook her hand cheerfully, a smile almost permanently plastered on his face.

"I'm Stephanie." DEFINITELY not Lennon. I can see why Lucien doesn't like him already, but he's nearly as cute as-.....Well, at any rate, more for me! "It's VERY nice to meet you..."

"Another one?" Robbie looked at the outfit he was wearing now. Either the elf was playing switcheroo every night, or there were two versions of him. And they were both very nearly the same thing.

"Are you a superhero?" Stephanie quipped, curious.

The man paused. This question always left him slightly unsettled. "Mmm, well- Let's just say I'm a slightly above AVERAGE hero." Don't press it any further, please?

Stephanie giggled. I'll BET you are.

-At a Teeter-Totter Near YOU!-

"It's MI-I-I-INE, Trixie!" Stingy goaded the girl who only rolled her eyes at him. "GO. AWAY!"

Trixie put her hand on her hip. "It takes TWO to teeter-totter, Stingy!"

"No-o-o-o, it's mine! All mine..." Stingy taunted, before realizing his mistake. Now Trixie stood with one foot on the other end, hands on hips. She smiled wolfishly. "Okay, if you insist..." She told him, foot threatening to slip.....

-Insert Crystal Flashing Here-

"What's that?" Stephanie asked, pointing at the myriad of colors emitting from the smaller number 10 on Sportacus's chest.

"That's my crystal-" So THAT was what she was sent to retrieve...didn't look like much to Stephanie, but then again, she never saw all the dream stones. "Someone's in trouble. Sorry, I have to go." He left in a flurry of gymnastics movements.

"Oh no....." Robbie bit his nails. He wouldn't let this continue if he could help it. He would keep them distracted to the end of time if he had to.

-Back at the Teeter-Totter-

As an angry Trixie took her foot off her side of the teeter-totter, Sportacus sprang into action. He landed on Trixie's side of the teeter-totter, leaving Stingy flying through the air. The elf easily caught him, giving him instructions to be more careful next time.

Robbie cringed as he watched the man save the kid from something only potentially slightly damaging. WITH a method that could potentially cause brain damage. He silenced the thoughts of I should know- he didn't want to think about childhood right now.

Sportacus flipped back to Stephanie, only to be distracted by his crystal flashing again. "More trouble..." he flipped off again, just in time to catch Trixie and Ziggy before they fell to the ground. Turns out Trixie was balancing on Ziggy's shoulders to see over a wall, and both lost balance.

Robbie narrowed his eyes at the bunch. "They're not going to ruin LazyTown- I'll see to that." The lithe man then began to announce a little louder, so that others could hear if they tried- "And now it's time to PUT AN END TO SPORTAKOOK- once and for ALL!" He began to dig, speaking rather loudly as if to himself "And now- A trap- For SPORTAKOOK..."

He then heard a woman blathering something about a hair appointment into a cell phone. "It's Bessie! She'll ruin my trap!" He watched regrettably as the woman neared the hole. "No- NO..." Unfortunately, it was too late and she fell in. Stephanie and Sportacus both saw her fall in, and ran to her aid. Robbie rolled his eyes. Why didn't you save that one, eh, Elf boy?

Stephanie found the Mayor with a large cake. "Uncle Milford! Someone's stuck in a hole!" Not like telling YOU will help...

Sportacus looked at his crystal. Why is it still flashing?

Robbie rolled his eyes again. Idiot.

"I've got a life preserver!" Stephanie offered. I could only find a life preserver..... "I've got a CAKE!" Milford offered. ...And the Mayor has a cake. "Nice cake-" ...Where have I heard this joke before? "Thank you, I- I made it just for you...Oh, we must SAVE her!" Stephanie sighed inwardly, then spoke- "Okay, stand back! I'll throw the live preserver over the branch." When it was over the branch, Ms Busybody grabbed onto it, and both the Mayor and Stephanie attempted to pull her to safety. And where was Sportacus during this time? We don't know, but now he suddenly appears again JUST when the rope is about to break due to it's- erm- *weight limit*? So now Bessie is suspended over a hole holding onto a live preserver, the Mayor's face is suspended over a cake, and the only thing keeping them from falling is an elf named Sportacus in a tight blue outfit. Stephanie wondered if there should be a punch-line to an event that sounded like it would make a great joke.

Needless to say, everyone was saved.

"And as Mayor of LazyTown, I would like to offer you an official thank-you! For your heroic actions! Thank you, Number Ten!" The Mayor told the elf, who bounced on his toes nervously.

"Please, call me Sportacus." he told everyone.

All the kids cheered, and Stephanie smiled. "Y'know, LazyTown is really starting to feel like home for me!" Why should I even go back? I don't really even LIKE Daniel. Here, they let me dance! And why does Daniel even NEED the other crystal, anyway?

"Me too." Sportacus told the group.

"Will you stay?" Stephanie asked, looking at him with begging, puppy-dog eyes. With the peer pressure from her and all the other kids, he just HAD to relent. "I think I will."

In the background, Robbie sighed in disappointment. This was going to be dangerous, mostly for himself, the elf, and the little pink girl. There was no way to escape it, and he figured that it was only a matter of time.

And then there was an explosion of dancing, cleaning madness upon the town that included singing nonsense. Robbie stepped forward to try to put an end to it, but fell in his own hole. It felt like a bad acid trip, and he hoped it was all a bad hallucination, but no such luck.

Later, after he had received medical care and was mysteriously transported back to his lair- almost like in Pokemon- he swore this to the world...

"I, Robbie Rotten, will not be be beaten by some costumed Sportaloony and a pink cheerlead-AUGHH" Well, I see his heroism doesn't include ME. How quaint. "I'll stop them if it's the last thing I do. And then LazyTown will stay lazy FOREVER- OWW!"

F**king elf. F**king girl. F**king crystal. F**king life. I would die for them, but only because dying is SO MUCH MORE appealing than living like THIS. I hope it gets better. Because if this is how it's going to be, "I would die for them" might just turn into "I would die". Still, I can't even remember how I got here. It's like I was drugged and thrown in here as some sort of experiment. Perhaps that all I am. An experiment.

-Back at Stephanie's Room-

Stephanie secretly pulled out her diary, which had new writing in it from Daniel. The new dream lord.

Tonight. At Midnight. Head out with the new outfit provided, and do some research for me. Your new cover name will be Solla. I want to see exactly what is going on when the lights go down. Something's wrong that everyone seems to disappear at 8:08. I've sent a few 'nightmares' over to help you out. Just in case you forget why you went there in the first place.

Stephanie internally cursed.


//...-JUST DANCE...gonna be okay.....//


The internet says that Great Britain is an island.

It also says that the North Sea is right next to it, whereas Iceland is farther away from it.

It also says that John Lennon was born October 9.

REVOLUTION #9.

Does that explain the generous heaps of Beatles quotes in my stories?

Yes. Yes it does.

But recently I've turned to KanYe West and Lady GaGa. They're my new favorites.

Oh, and for anyone concerned about the new rules "You can't have a real-life person in a story, blah blah blah," and bringing John Lennon into this- Neil Gaiman said that the Devil HAD TO BE David Bowie. And it's fictional-universe version of these people, so it's not the same thing. It's like Office Space- Just because your name is Michael Bolton doesn't mean you're THAT Michael Bolton.

Copyrights: LTE for LazyTown, Neil Gaiman for Sandman comics, and- does Michael Bolton have a copyright on his name? Regardless, the bits and pieces were from Lady GaGa's Just Dance. Stop me if I'm getting too far ahead of myself, and should just tell you what to listen to before you read the chapter instead of posting a snippet of lyrics.

Next chapter: You should see some more Robbie Rotten in the next one- I wanted to focus more on Stephanie this round. She's really a sweet girl, and I haven't given her as much credit as she deserves. And I'm hoping to bring up something you should remember from the old Latibaer plays. ALL THE OTHER CHARACTERS! The 'trolls', the policeman, Maggi Mjoi AKA 'Jives', and Eyrún Eyðslukló, who I will now be referring to as 'Erin', mostly. Really, I'd like to see YOU type her name repeatedly without copypaste or a special keyboard. And it's getting harder to find her name to copypaste, since Wikipedia is full of racist uncultured morons who decide that nobody should know of Latibaer.

I'm in a bad mood today.

Note- I am not implying that the Robbie Rotten of this story has brain damage. I am not putting it in for some sort of self-righteous revenge, either. I happen to have an ongoing character who started out with the name "Hungry Bob", who had grey eyes, black hair, a purple shirt with EMO written on it, and epilepsy. This was about four and a half years ago, before I found out about LazyTown. Ever since I did find LazyTown, it's been an ongoing joke that they've been one-in-the-same, and from now on, you might be hearing little tidbits about it.

Please review?