AN: Comments and suggestions are appreciated. This is a bit of a longer update, but it seemed like this should all go together.
Emily insisted on getting a hotel room when they got back to DC, despite Hotch and JJ's offers of a room for her to stay. She still had a fair amount of cash that she'd had access to under her other identities, and she didn't want to put Hotch or JJ out. Plus, fearing how the rest of the team would react to the news that Hotch and JJ knew she was alive, she didn't want to make the situation more awkward by having them also find out she was currently living in their home.
JJ picked them up at the airport. After a reunion full of tears and hugs, she drove them to the hotel. After dropping off Emily's things in the room, they went down to the lounge to discuss what to do next.
None of them had any experience orchestrating a back-from-the-dead reveal, so there was a great deal of uncertainty as to the best way to break the news. After a brief discussion, they decided that at the very least, either Hotch or JJ should tell the team first. A dramatic entrance of "dead" Emily into a room seemed like a terrible idea – too overwhelming, too theatrical. The next decision they needed to make was where – where to tell them and where to have them meet Emily afterward. They decided that they wanted to tell them as soon as possible, but would wait until the next day to let some of the jetlag wear off.
"What about here? It won't be too crowded, most likely, and the bar area has spaces that are pretty closed off," JJ offered.
"JJ and I can gather everyone in the conference room at the end of the day to tell them, and drive them here afterward."
Emily agreed that it was probably the best possible plan. That didn't mean she wasn't nauseas at the thought of it. What if they were too upset, too angry to want to see her? This was going to be like a punch in the gut to them – after everything they had already been through – and it was all her fault.
Seeing how upset she was, JJ reached across the table and placed her hand over Emily's. "It'll be ok, Em. I know this is hard now, but you're getting your life back."
"Thank you, JJ."
"And stop saying 'thank you.' You thank me. I got it. Enough."
Emily smiled at her.
"Is there anything in particular you want us to say to them tomorrow?" Hotch asked.
Emily shook her head. "Just… how sorry I am for doing this to them. I know you two will do the best you can. And I'm sorry if they're upset with you because of what you did for me."
"JJ or I will text you when we're on our way tomorrow. I know it's probably pointless to tell you this, but try not to worry. And get a good night's sleep," Hotch said. "I have to get back to the office to take care of a few things. Call if you need anything." He stood up to leave.
Emily stood as well and gave him a quick hug, which Hotch returned. "Thanks for everything, Hotch."
"Oh, and I'm with JJ. No more 'thank yous'."
Hotch left. Emily sat back down and saw the amused smile on JJ's face. "What?"
"Nothing," she said with a grin. "Out of everyone, he's probably changed the most since…" she trailed off.
"Yeah, I've noticed."
"It's good though. He's more…"
"Human?"
"Yeah. So have you thought about what you're going to do next?"
"Yes and no. I need to get the logistics sorted out first. I mean, I don't even know how to go about that. Do I just show up at the DMV and say, 'Hi, I'm back from the dead. Can I have my license back?'"
JJ snickered, "That wouldn't even be the weirdest thing going down at the DMV. At least not the one I went to last."
Emily laughed. "Well, that kind of stuff is on the top of my To Do list. Find a place to live. Become a functional member of society again."
"Well I can give you some good news. Your bank accounts were frozen and assigned new account numbers under an alias, but I'll make the call to get those back in your name. I already had your SSN status changed – not the direction those updates usually go, but it's taken care of. You'll have to get new credit cards. Your mother had a storage unit in the area, so she upgraded to a larger one and most of your stuff is there. We figured that wouldn't necessarily look suspicious. A parent usually keeps her child's things after…" JJ paused and looked at Emily. "Have you seen her?"
"Yes, actually. She came to see me in Paris not long after I arrived there. An unscheduled side trip during her assignment. A first, I think."
JJ decided not to press any further, simply adding a, "Good."
"So credit cards, a phone, and a new apartment. There was no way to keep yours. Sorry."
Shaking her head, Emily said, "JJ, I can't tell you how grateful I am for everything you've done. And everything you did that I don't even know about. This is all… I know I can't say thank you, but can I just tell you that you took about 5000 pounds of weight off my back? It doesn't seem as overwhelming now."
"If anything else comes up, let me know. I still know where some strings are that are available for pulling, even though I'm not at the State Department anymore."
"I'm so glad you're back with the team. Hotch told me about the transfer. Or un-transfer, I guess."
"And I'm glad to be back."
"Now, I know you've got some pictures of Henry in that phone, so hand it over."
JJ smiled and moved her chair closer to Emily's. They spent the next several hours looking at pictures of Henry and catching up.
Hotch knew that the team probably assumed they had a case when he summoned them into the conference room at 5:00 on Thursday afternoon.
When the team started to filter in, Hotch and JJ were already in the room, talking quietly in the corner. Garcia was the last one to enter, and Hotch closed the door behind her. It didn't take them long to notice that JJ didn't have any files and there was nothing on the board.
"What's going on?" Rossi was the first to ask.
"There's something very important that we need to tell you."
"Oh no. Is it bad new? This is bad news, isn't it? You're not leaving again, Jayje?" Garcia rambled.
"No. No. It's… it's actually really good news, but… it's big. And, sort of a lot to process," JJ replied.
"Ok, so do you care to enlighten us?" Rossi piped in.
Hotch took over. "It's about Emily."
That got their attention quickly. Hotch noticed all their heads snap around to zero in on his face.
"Emily is alive." He figured the best approach would be to just spit it out instead of dragging it out with a lot of buildup.
"Alive?" Garcia gasped.
"Where is she?" Reid asked, leaning forward intently in his seat.
"She just arrived back in DC. She was in Europe over the past year, trying to gather intel on Doyle while remaining off the grid, obviously. And it was one of her tips that eventually led Interpol to where Doyle was located. He got into a shootout with a German SWAT team and was killed."
JJ looked around to gauge their reactions. Garcia was frozen in a stunned silence. Reid looked like he was going to jump out of his chair and start pacing any second. Rossi had a thoughtful expression on his face, his head tilted slightly upward as if putting all these new pieces of information together. Seaver looked like she was trying to recall every detail from the events leading up to Emily's "death." And Morgan looked… intense.
"You knew the whole time?" Morgan asked, obviously trying to control his voice.
"Yes." Hotch replied, evenly.
"How could you not tell us. You know we wouldn't have done anything to jeopardize her safety."
"It wasn't just her safety. If Doyle saw anyone acting off, he wouldn't hesitate to test us by going after one of us. He wouldn't wait to confirm anything. He had a sniper try to take out Rossi and Seaver to get to Emily. If he had the slightest hint that something was strange, he would have done it again."
"So you didn't trust us to handle the situation. But apparently you could," Morgan responded, spitefully.
"I'm the one who arranged this." Everyone turned away from the staring match going on between Hotch and Morgan to look at JJ now.
"I confirmed what Hotch had figured out. Authorizations were made above my pay grade, but I'm the one who set her up in Europe. I'm the one that lied to you. And I'm sorry for that. But I did what I had to do to keep everyone safe. You may not agree with it, but that's the decision I made. And you may hate me for it, but Emily is alive. And safe. And Doyle is dead. I'm not going to regret any of that."
A silence fell upon the room as JJ finished speaking.
Reid was the first one to speak up. "Can we see her?"
JJ felt a wave of relief wash over her after hearing Reid's question.
"Yes." Hotch answered. "She really wants to see all of you. And she asked us to tell you that she's sorry for everything. Listen… she's tearing herself apart because of what you've all been through. JJ and I can take you to her now, and I know it might be difficult – no one is denying that you have a right to be upset – but, try to take it easy on her. At least for tonight."
"Emily's alive." Garcia seemed to suddenly snap out of her trance. "What are we waiting for? Let's go." She stood up. "Now!"
Garcia's proclamation seemed to work. They all stood up and made their way to the parking ramp. Morgan and Garcia rode with JJ. Seaver, Reid and Rossi rode with Hotch. Before they drove away, Hotch sent a text to Emily.
There was very little conversation in either vehicle on the way to the hotel.
On the way now. Everything will be fine.
Emily read Hotch's text at least 20 times as she waited in the hotel. She couldn't help but notice his word choice. Everything will be fine was not the same as everything is fine.
As Hotch got stuck at a stoplight behind JJ, her car was the first to arrive. The car hadn't even completely stopped moving when Garcia jumped out. "Where, JJ?" she asked, charging ahead to the doors of the hotel. JJ hurried to follow Garcia and noticed that Morgan wasn't moving.
"I just need a minute."
"Inside to the right. The bar area."
Morgan nodded and JJ jogged to catch up to Garcia.
"To the right," JJ yelled to Garcia as she burst through the hotel doors. Garcia turned on her heals and marched into the bar area. Emily had no sooner stood up from her chair than Garcia ran and enveloped her in a tearful hug.
"Don't you ever do that again," Garcia ordered, still clinging to Emily.
Neither of them let go of the other. "I got your message, PG."
Emily backed away so she could look Garcia in the eye. The tears started flowing freely as she repeated, softly, "I got your message." Not knowing what else to say, Emily simply pulled Garcia back in for another hug. "I'm so sorry," she whispered.
"I'm still mad at you, you know. But at least you did what I told you to." Emily pulled back again with a confused look on her face. "You stayed alive. And you came home."
Garcia noticed Emily looking over her shoulder and turned to see Reid, Seaver, and Rossi approaching. Seaver and Rossi were smiling. The look on Reid's face was killing Emily – she could see he was battling tears. She squeezed Garcia's hand as she walked passed her and approached Reid.
Emily stopped a few feet in front of Reid and waited until he was able to look up at her. "You're really here," he said, almost in a whisper. She reached out to take one of his hands in hers.
"I'm really here, Reid. And I'm sorry for what I put you all through."
"Are you… ok?" she whispered to him so no one could hear. She thought about him confiding in her about his headaches a lot over the last year, and had worried about him.
He looked her in the eye and saw his friend. Emily. Emily was back.
"I'm so glad you're back," he said, leaning forward to circle his arms around her waist in a hug. She hugged him back. She knew she would have to give him some time before they sat down and had a serious talk.
She exchanged greetings and hugs with Seaver and Rossi as JJ and Hotch stood back and observed. She was extremely grateful to Rossi for lightening the mood and giving her a break from crying.
JJ noticed Emily scanning the room and knew what she was looking for, or rather who. "He's outside."
Emily nodded and then seemed to come to a decision. "I'll be right back."
She found Morgan outside, sitting on a bench. She paused to look at him for a moment, hunched over with his head in his hands. He didn't see her as she approached and sat down next to him on the bench.
"I know how angry… how hurt you must be. I don't expect that you can forgive me. But I need you to know something, Derek. I remember," she paused. She wanted to be able to say this to him clearly – firmly – but she could stop the tears from spilling and her voice from breaking. She continued anyway.
"I remember you. Holding my hands. Telling me to hang on." The tears overwhelmed her and she had to pause for a moment.
"I remember that I knew – I knew I was going to die. And then you were there. You saved my life Derek. I don't think I would have opened my eyes again if you hadn't been there."
She could see him convulsing; knew that he was crying. But she needed to tell him everything.
"And I still thought that… that was it. But – but I need you to know what you did for me. Holding my hands. Staying by my side. It… it was such a comfort, Derek. It meant everything. I… I'll never forget you, in that moment."
She unsuccessfully tried to choke back a sob. "It was so much more than saving my life, Derek."
His face was still buried in his hands. She wanted to put her arms around him, but was hesitant to push him. She watched him rub his hands over his face. Finally, he turned towards her. He reached out to her and took her face between his hands for a moment as if to confirm that she was really there.
"I meant it, Emily. I meant every word. I'm just… trying to process this. But you have to know that having you back; seeing you again. I… I…" He couldn't find the words to finish his though, but he moved forward and pulled her into a tight hug.
He was very nearly crushing her, but she didn't care. She was so grateful that he cared enough to give her a crushing hug. That he didn't feel so betrayed that he turned her away.
She whispered into his shoulder, "I'm so sorry, Derek."
He pulled her in even tighter into his embrace.
When he finally released her from his grasp, she looked straight into his eyes. "I do trust you, you know. I was scared. I couldn't let you become a target because of me." Her eyes were pleading with him to understand.
"You didn't need to run away from us, Emily."
She had run through every decision so many times. Thought about all the 'what ifs' during all those sleepless nights. She couldn't do it anymore. Instead of arguing with him, she simply asked, "Can you forgive me?"
"You're my girl, Emily. Always."
Relief flooded over her, and she threw her arms around Morgan's neck.
"But don't ever do anything like that again, ok. I mean it. You have to come to me with everything."
He could feel her nodding against his neck.
"Do you know how much I've missed you?" she asked.
She pulled away to see the smile that she'd missed so much.
"We're hitting the bar, girl. Plenty of drinks. And you owe me some dances, too."
She grinned at him. "You got it."
"Tomorrow's Friday, you know…"
"Tomorrow night it is."
He stood up and reached his hand out to help her up. As they walked back into the building, he threw his arm around her shoulders and she leaned into him.
"You can be my wingman," he joked.
She playfully smacked his chest, then reached up to her shoulder to squeeze his hand.
They were still friends; still partners in the way that really counted.
