- - - - -
"Clark…? Clark- Jonathan, I think he's waking up."
"Clark?"
Clark opened his eyes, taking in the bright light slowly. At first, the golden glow made the back of his eyes ache and he shut them again, but when he realized who had spoken, they snapped back open. He felt a flutter of inexpressible relief run through him. "Mom."
Martha was beside his bed, holding his hand tightly in hers. When he spoke, tears spilled down her cheeks, and she pressed her forehead to his shoulder. "Oh sweetheart…"
Last time he heard that voice, he was lying in bed after awaking from his nightmare about Lana. He wished now he hadn't pretended to be asleep.
Clark turned his head slightly and saw Jonathan standing on his other side. His gaze bounced around the room, finding it a surprisingly pleasant-looking place with white walls and blue accents. Bright paintings in wooden frames decorated a few of the walls, and over Martha's shoulder, he could see a tall window with sheer curtains casting fuzzy shadows on the carpeted floor. The only sign that he was in the same world was the gentle throbbing around his wrists that told him the bracelets were still there.
His eyes fell back on Jonathan. "But- how…?"
"I'm not pressing charges for the fat lip and dislocated shoulder, Lex is permitting some real visiting rights for a bit," Jonathan explained with a tired smile. "Besides," he added, easing himself into a chair and pulling it closer to Clark's bed. "Lex may be amoral and unscrupulous, but he does know enough to keep the family happy. More-or-less."
"Nice to see he draws the line somewhere."
"It's not for you, it's for him. The public doesn't like to see the 'farm-tending Kents' getting walked on by Luthor Corp."
"Well I mean sure, you're the kind-hearted mortals who raised mankind's only hope for scientific advancement," Clark teased, smiling feebly.
Martha laughed with him, but Jonathan had to force a smile. Clark sighed, turning his head to the side and feeling the same heaviness settling on him. "Lex said I've been here six months?" They didn't reply, the answer apparent in their downcast eyes. "I can't believe that."
"Neither can I sometimes," Jonathan replied quietly.
"Not that." Clark clenched his jaw, meeting his father's eyes. "I can't even do this for a few days; I can't imagine how I've been powering through for six months. Dad, I can hold my own against Lex. But the-" he glanced up at the cameras in the ceiling above him, stopping short of saying 'Kryptonite' yet again. "The meteor rocks. Once he brings that to the table, I'm…" his voice trailed away. He didn't like the idea of admitting he felt helpless, but it was an inescapable fact.
Martha sat up straight, squeezing his hand. "Clark?" He looked at her. "What happened. What did- what did they do…?"
"I'm okay, Mom." He felt her nails brush lightly against his forehead as she pushed a few rogue strands of hair out of his eyes. He suddenly found himself wanting to tell her everything. He wanted her pity, her care. His father's strength. The full reality of how bruised he'd become hit him head-on. Wasn't he stronger than this? He remembered being stronger.
"I can't tell you the details…I don't really want to," he added, giving her a rueful smile. "But listen." He tried to sit up a little, but sank back, swallowing the nausea. "I'm built to recover."
Tears sprang to Martha's eyes, and she buried her face in the white pillow Clark's head rested on, one arm wrapped across his chest. "Mom," he said pleadingly, putting a hand on her red head, and felt Jonathan move swiftly to the other side of the bed.
"Martha?" he said attentively, but she sat up as he touched her shoulder.
"No I'm alright, I'm-" she swiped at her eyes and looked back at Clark. "I'm trying too, Clark. You know you and your father were always better at that than me." She put on a smile for him. "I just think about when you were in high school, and we had to watch you struggle with the meteor rocks. And knowing that Lex Luthor would put you through-"
"Mom, I'm going to be okay. A man's only as good as his moral support, right?"
"Speaking of that," Jonathan said, "we brought someone to see you."
"Oh- that's right!" Martha squeezed Clark's hand, eyes falling darkly on the Kryptonite bracelet, then stood and kissed him on the forehead. "I'll be right back." She slipped quietly from the room.
Clark took a long breath. "I think this is hurting her more than me."
"Despite her self-depreciation, your mother's a strong person," Jonathan told him. "But neither of us are very good at hiding our concern, never have been."
"I guess not," Clark smiled.
"And neither are you." The smile slid and Clark looked away. "Son I admire your courage, but you don't have to protect me." He put his elbows on his knees and leaned forward intently. "That's my job."
Clark watched him, the temptation to tell all nearly overwhelming. At last he said, "I don't know how I'm going to wake every morning, knowing what awaits me. It's…it's endless. Lex's apatite for answers is enormous, Dad, I don't-" he shook his head, his own thoughts too scrambled to finish.
Jonathan could really think of nothing to say. He didn't have the heart to tell his son to be strong, yet Clark had no desire to fall apart. So instead, he just reached forward, took his hand and held it for a long time. To Clark, it was as if he was promising to get him out of here. Even though that was impossible right now, he appreciated it more than he could say, and for the millionth time, he reminded himself that his father was alive. Jonathan was alive.
The door sprang open, and Clark sat up to see Martha returning. With her was a little girl with shoulder-length strawberry-blonde hair that Clark had never seen before. Martha looked about to make an introduction, but the little girl broke away, tearing across the room and squealing, "Calark! Calark, you home!"
To his astonishment, she bounded onto his bed, throwing her arms around his neck and squeezed tightly. Her hair smelled like watermelon bubble bath. He remembered that scent from his own childhood. "Hey," he said awkwardly, smiling over her shoulder at Martha.
"Your father told me that you were having trouble remember Lara, so we thought we'd bring her with us today. Lex okayed it," she added sarcastically.
Clark felt something fluttering in his stomach, and his arms went about the little girl, returning her hug. "Hey. Hey Lara." He liked the way it sounded.
She finally pulled back, sitting on her heals. The toes of her sneakers dug sharply into Clark's legs, but he didn't care. "Are you are coming home soon, Calark?" she asked him, poking absently at his mouth and nose.
Clark managed a small laugh. "I'm uh…no, Lara. I have to stay here a bit."
"A sick," she said knowledgably.
"Yeah. I'm kind of sick right now." He smiled, feeling more comfortable with her by the moment. "But listen, I'm going to come and see you real soon, okay? We can play in the barn."
Her eyes widened excitedly, and she turned her head to Jonathan. "Barn, Daddy, barn! Please a barn?"
"We're not going to play in the barn right now, sweet pea," he told her, casting Clark a furtive smile. "Right now we're going to visit with Clark. Can you say that? Clllark?"
"Caaal-ark!" Lara responded, nodding happily, confident she was correct.
Martha shook her head. "I don't think she's ever going to start saying that right."
"I kind of like it," Clark said defensively, poking Lara in the knee. She giggled and squirmed, then hopped off his bed, running to the window and throwing the curtain back to survey the rather boring view of Luthor Corps' construction on the left wing. "She's beautiful," Clark said, watching her.
"She may not have your eyes," Jonathan told him, turning to watch the back of her curly head, "but she did get your spunk somehow."
"Any holes in the walls?"
Jonathan looked back at him and noticed he was grinning. He laughed, "You still hold top score for temper-fits, son."
"Calark?" Lara turned from the window. "'us a my name?" Clark furrowed his brow, trying to translate. "'us a a my name?" she insisted, smacking herself on the chest.
"Oh," Clark replied suddenly. "What's your name?"
"'us MY name," she clarified.
"Your name is Lara. What's my name?"
"Uh…" she jabbed a finger at Jonathan. "Daddy."
"Yeah, that's Daddy, but what's my name?" She squinted suspiciously at him. "Cl…" he hinted, and she started dancing up and down.
"Calark!" Clark let out a genuine laugh as Lara squealed and spun back to the window.
He felt a pang of guilt. "Think she knows I forgot her?"
"Lara has a big heart," Martha said, coming to stand next to his bed again. "Much like someone else I know. I don't think she'd mind."
He nodded, feeling a lump in his throat all the same. If by some amazing stretch of reality, the world he found himself in was indeed real…he'd utterly forgotten his own little sister. Not as though it mattered. If this was the real world, he was going to grow up in Luthor Corp, seeing his sister maybe twice a month. Lex had certainly jacked everything up to a crazy, unfair level. It's what kept Clark fighting what was in front of his eyes.
As though in conclusion to his thoughts, Lex came striding in at that moment, a studious-looking doctor in-toe. "Time's up, Mr. and Mrs. Kent."
Martha forced a polite smile and went to collect Lara. Jonathan didn't bother sugarcoating the glare he fired Lex's direction as he rose from his chair. "We're going to see you again soon," he said gently, leaning down to squeeze both Clark's shoulders in a makeshift hug.
Martha held Lara against her front and leaned down so she could give Clark a wet a kiss on the cheek. "Say bye-bye to Clark."
Lara flopped her hand around in the air. "G'bye, Calark."
"Bye, Lara. I'll see you soon, okay?"
"See you a'morrow!" He just smiled.
Martha handed Lara to Jonathan so she could kiss Clark goodbye as well. After a brief peck on the forehead, she hovered, uncertain.
"I'll see you soon," Clark told her.
She nodded. "Be safe, sweetheart."
They passed Lex in the doorway and had to pause as the doctor squeezed past. Lex stuck out a hand to Jonathan. "Thank you for coming to visit your son. I hope you know Luthor Corp is always-"
"Quick to cover their bases," Jonathan finished, a spark in his eyes.
Lex seemed to swallow his words behind a saccharine smile. "See you next week, then." He glanced at Lara. "Did you have fun visiting with your brother, Lara?"
Lara looked at him for a full minute before her lower lip began to tremble. She whirled away from him and buried her face in Jonathan's shirt. Lex shrugged apologetically at Martha. "Nap-time, I guess."
Martha smiled back. "Please, don't take it personally. She did the same thing when we went to the Freak Show at the Smallville Fair last fall."
Clark grinned to himself as he watched the three of them slip through the door and out of sight. Then the doctor sat down in the chair Jonathan had been in, surveying a chart. "How are we doing today, Clark?" And like a lead ball, reality landed on him with an inaudible thud.
- - - - -
Lex was always the picture of white-collar fascination and yet Clark wondered vaguely if he wasn't taking a bit of his frustration with Clark's memory out on Clark himself. The moment he pulled through with a clean bill of health, it was back into the restraints and off down the hall for more tests, Trently and one other Care Unit employee at his elbows.
As they walked, Lex said it was his responsibility to catch Clark up on "his place in this operation." Apparently, he not only had visitation rights, but a yard for recreation and a library at his disposal, only on the weekends of course. It turned out he also had a much nicer room he was permitted to move to as soon as the project's progression increased.
It was then Clark had to cut in. "You mean as soon as I agree to be a part of your subterfuge." He turned, eyes glinting. "You think your money can hide you forever? I'm not going to lie down and take it, Lex."
Lex mulled that over briefly before replying, "Please Clark. Once meteor rock is involved, all you can seem to do is lie down. Why do you think I had the capsule put in?" He inclined his head upon seeing the blank expression on Clark's face. "Right, you don't remember. We filled it with meteor rock; I had it inserted months ago. To be detonated if things get out of control. Don't give me the wide-eyed shock, Clark. You're the one who told me one of the risks with testing you not knowing what you're capable of. I just removed that from the equation."
"You detonate that capsule, I'll die," Clark said savagely. "Count on it."
Lex smiled to himself. "Clark where did you pick up this mellow drama?"
"It's not going to amuse you so much when I'm flat-lining again."
"You seem to still be intact. Dying doesn't work the same way for you, Clark, and anyway not all tests have to be deadly." Lex pulled the whole group to a stop, standing in front of Clark. "I guess you don't remember this, but we developed a specimen of silver meteor rock near the beginning of the month. Dr. Kellman tested it on you a few days ago, and your reactions were very curious. I am eager to study it further. And don't worry; you will be in no mortal danger this time."
Clark swallowed his fear enough to keep it from showing, but he had the sickening feeling that Lex knew he was afraid anyway. He gestured at the men on either side of Clark. "Down the hall, to the right, Room BT-9. Tell Dr. Kellman to start without me, I'll be there shortly."
Lex brushed past them, and Clark attempted to turn, mind scrambling for some factoid he could throw at him to make him change his mind. "C'mon," one of the men ordered in his ear, grabbing him under the arm and shoving him violently forward. Out of defiance as much as fear, Clark dragged his feet all the way to Room BT-9.
- - - - -
Clark was panting so hard, it felt like his heart was going to burst. "Let…me…go…" he gasped, sweat trickling down his forehead and stinging his eyes. He flinched as though someone had shocked him.
"Stop it, Clark. You're never getting out of here," Dr. Kellman told him harshly. He was a clean-cut man, with beach-boy-like blonde hair that made him look younger than he really was. But the hungry glimmer in his eyes aged him by a good twenty years. And haggard beast trapped in a young doctor's body. "We can't let you go, you're an alien and you're dangerous. You're a monster."
"I'm not a monster!" Clark shouted, his voice straining as he tugged at the straightjacket around him. "That's not what I am, you don't understand!"
Lex suddenly appeared behind the protective glass, coming to stand over Dr. Kellman's shoulder. "How's it going?" he asked, taking a seat.
"Same basic results," Clark heard the doctor reply. "Paranoia, fatigue."
"Mortal symptoms. Very interesting. Clark?" Clark pressed his cheek against the cold, tile wall behind him, trying to ignore Lex's presence. "Answer me."
"Leave me alone…let me go, let me out of here."
"Do you want me to come in there with the Kryptonite, Kal-El?"
Clark turned, horror-struck. "How- how do you know those words?"
Lex laughed scathingly, putting his feet up on the table in front of him. "I've dug further into your mind than you know, son of Jor-El."
"I'm not Kal-El."
"But you are, Clark."
"No…no, no you're lying you're-" he shook his head restlessly.
"Tell me about your mother, Lara."
He jumped as though bitten. "No!"
"Kal-El…" Dr. Kellman said warningly. "Now come on. Do you want us to come in there with Kryptonite?"
Clark began to fight feverishly at the straightjacket again, grunting with the effort. He heard Lex murmur something to Dr. Kellman, who nodded, rising from his seat and reaching into a drawer.
"I need to speak with my parents!" Clark said suddenly. "I have to you…you said you'd let me if I took the medication. I did, I need-"
"Your parents don't want to see you right now, Clark," Lex told him, almost sympathetically. "They've moved on to a new child. A real child. Lara is your parents' greatest treasure now, Clark."
"You're a liar, Lex, you were always a liar!" Dr. Kellman stepped out from behind the glass, hand closed, and Clark abandoned his struggles with the jacket, head coming up sharply. "No…" he said hoarsely as Dr. Kellman's hand began to open. A green light spread between his fingers and Clark instantly tumbled to the floor, trembling head to foot.
"Tell me about your mother, Clark," Lex shouted over Clark's groaning. "Tell me now."
"Get out of my mind!" Clark shouted back, grimacing in pain as Dr. Kellman set the rock down inches from his face. "I'm going back to my life, my real life- Get away from me- Shelby! -get away!"
"Go ahead, Erik," Lex said suddenly, and Dr. Kellman pulled a bottle from his pocket and sprayed it into Clark's face. He gagged on the thick, smoky substance as it infiltrated his lungs, and then his eyes snapped open suddenly.
He was lying on the floor, arms wrapped tightly around his chest as though he were wearing a straightjacket. His hair stuck in sweaty strands to his forehead, and across the floor, where the Kryptonite had been, was a large, black ball. Probably a paperweight. Dr. Kellman stood at the other end of the room, jotting things frantically down on his notebook.
Clark pushed himself shakily to his knees, now looking at Lex who was just staring back in wide-eyed astonishment. "I said the silver meteor rock would break down barriers Mr. Luthor," Dr. Kellman told him smugly.
"Wha- what…what happened," Clark demanded groggily.
Lex shook his head in wonder. "What is 'Kryptonite', what- who is Kal-El, Clark?"
- - - - -
This had to be a nightmare. If Clark believed anything different, he was sure he would lose his mind completely. After the revelation that he had let the words Kryptonite, Kal-El and Jor-El slip, he'd clammed up. Even under threat of a second wave of silver K he refused to say a word. Finally, Lex had agreed that was good for one day, and the Care Unit came in, peeled Clark's exhausted body off the floor and dragged him back to his room. Now he was lying, staring at the ceiling and dreading what the next day might bring. Lex had more ammunition than ever now, and he would use it. The only question was how. And what happened when he decided to start testing red K? What if he had already tested it?
Clark shuddered, rolling onto his side, jaw taught. He wasn't used to being in this much pain, either, and it worried him how he was gradually adjusting to it. He missed his parents' attention, and the nights he'd spend on the couch, recovering from Kryptonite, rather than pressing on to the next horrible encounter. He felt like he was shifting gradually from raw to numb. Could this be real? If it was, why did he remember a whole lifetime that never existed?
His body and mind were exhausted. He wasn't even sure what time it was, only that the sun had been setting when he'd last seen it. They brought him dinner that he was too tired to sit up and eat, and awhile later returned and removed it, leaving the water. Clark had enough energy to hoist himself onto his elbows and take a deep drink of water. Then he flopped over, arms and legs at odd angles, and fell asleep that way.
- - - - -
