WRONG TURN
I love Isabeau and I have from the day I set eyes on her, having her with me has been the happiest that I have ever been and I just wanted to protect her.
I'm actually proud when she knocks my ass to the ground but I'm so pissed that I let her get the upper hand and she walks away from me. I fucking pushed her to leave because I wanted her to be safe, that's all I wanted.
Fear fills me knowing she's out there alone and I try to find her for hours, this is what I get for training her too well. I trained her and then get mad when she saved my life what the hell kind of fuck up am I?
I'm frantic and I'm so tired I don't believe that I can sleep but after drinking a couple of beers I somehow crash but I don't wake refreshed, just full of dread, she won't answer her phone and Sam has searched every form of transportation and found nothing.
If anything happens to her I will never forgive myself.
Three days later I just sit and stare holes into the walls as Sam stares at me and I'm trying desperately to think of what I should do now and then my phone goes off to Beau's ringtone, I feel relief she has come to her senses and giving me a chance to redeem myself.
I don't usually beg or anything remotely similar but I answer the phone. "Baby I'm sorry please tell me where you are?" My blood runs cold as I jump to my feet a voice full of venom hisses to me.
"Well Dean I'll get right to the point I have your mate and mine is dead because of her so what should I do?"
"No please don't hurt her, if you hurt her….."
"You have the nerve to threaten me?" I hear Beau gasp in pain.
I close my eyes because I already know that I can't save her. "Please." I know what's coming yet I try and then I hear Beau on the line.
"Dean I love you and this is not your fault you hear me, I love you no matter what."
"Baby tell me where you are and I'll be on my way, Beau please I love you."
"I'm sorry Dean, I love you baby." She whispers and then she's screaming sounds of pure agony and my legs won't hold me anymore, I fall to my knees. "No!"
I can hear flesh ripping and her screams, vampires are feeding on her taking her life and I can't do a damn thing about it but wish more than anything that I was dead.
I can't let go of the phone, I can't breathe, the sudden silence is the final agonizing blow to my shattering heart. The voice taunts me.
"You should have just left us alone, mmmmm she had delicious blood." The vamp laughs and then the connection is gone.
Nothing exists for me at the moment, nothing but the desire to kill and die with her but then I see Sam's grief the guilt in his eyes because he let her go and as always my little brother keeps me alive by the barest of threads.
"Don't Sammy." I manage in a stranger's voice.
He nods and stumbles to his feet pulling me to mine he hugs me hard and I accept it needing the connection to ground me. He stumbles to his computer and I see him tapping away a look of determination on his face and moments later he looks at me.
"They left her phone on and the GPS." He says softly.
I nod unable to swallow the huge lump in my throat. At least I can give her peace in death and the thought breaks me and the tears flow.
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We drive to the location of the GPS signal on Beau's phone and Dean looks so fucking lost that it hurts to look at him. I have no idea how he's pushing himself to face Beau's broken lifeless body but as a hunter he has to make sure she's at rest.
Memories of burying my brother flood me when he was ripped apart by the hell hounds. His lifeless body staring up with his unseeing green eyes the torture of cleaning him up and sewing him up changing his clothes and all that blood my God so much blood, I still don't know how I did it, how I made it especially when I had to close the lid on the coffin. The final blow to my heart that my brother was truly and gone and suffering in hell.
Tears pour down my face as we drive and I feel Dean's squeeze my wrist. Maybe he knows what I'm thinking I'm not sure but either way in his grief stricken mind he still tries to comfort me and that is what sets Dean apart from every person I know, Dean always putting others before himself especially me.
We arrive at the place and Dean takes a deep breath his hands white from the death grip he has on the steering wheel.
I begin to leave the car but Dean stops me.
"Let me." He whispers.
"There could still be vamps." I say.
"I can handle it Sammy just I need to do this alone ok?"
I nod understanding how unbelievably painful this has to be for him and how it hasn't entirely hit him yet.
Dean walks away and I pray.
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My feet feel like lead as I walk forward, I steel myself for the sight that I will see for the rest of my life but tears are already making it hard to see and I get mad at myself and get the best grip that I can.
There is blood everywhere and I find Beau's phone covered in it but no Beau and I walk further and find only more blood.
What could they have done to her body? I dread the thought so much as I look some more but find nothing. I walk slowly back to the Impala wishing that this shit was over instead I'm lost knowing that Beau will have no peace.
I drive us back to the motel stopping only to buy enough whiskey to put me in a coma for a couple of days. This isn't how I should be remembering Beau but if I don't drown the pain I'll be glad to swallow a bullet.
"I need to be alone Sammy." I tell him grabbing a couple of bottles and I climb up on the roof of the motel out of sight but where I can see everything going on below. The night is cool and it feels good on my hot body and I sit back and let my mind wander to the last place I want to be but I can't help it Beau had become my life, my love, and I needed her so much.
I replay the night I met her and every moment from there as the whiskey burns my throat but not her memory.
"Why do you hate me so much?" I scream at the sky. "Haven't I lost enough?"
A sound behind me makes me startle and I think I have drank way too much seeing Beau standing there beautiful as ever.
Hallucinations like this can't be wasted so I stand and move to her, look at her and pull her close. She feels way too real for a figment of my imagination so I stare at her.
"It's me Dean." She says not looking at me.
"But Beau….the screams…Beau." I say reaching with trembling fingers to lift her face to look at me. My heart already knows but my mind won't accept it as I look into her eyes. I pull her close again. "Beau please forgive me." I plead.
"There is nothing to forgive Dean you remember I told you that is not your fault, I love you."
"Beau I can save you." I start.
She looks sadly at me. "It's too late." My heart is crushed again because she knows, I trained her after all.
"I'll be waiting." She says and she kisses me like everything in the world is so fucking normal. "I'm sorry Dean." and she's gone.
I can't breathe and I nearly tumble off the roof and Sam and his freaky ESP is suddenly beside me.
"Dean what the hell I thought I heard Beau."
I nod as tears stream down my face and I slip to my ass needing to sit because my legs are useless. "She was here." I manage.
Sam looks around confused.
"They turned her Sam they turned her so that I would have to be the one to kill the only woman I have ever loved." I can't stop the tears even though fury fills me, I have to hunt Beau and I thought I knew real pain before.
Maybe I never left hell.
TBC
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Thanks for reading!
