Author's Note: Reid, Reid, Reid...what to say about him? Well, his installation isn't really based on a single episode. I got some of the themes from "52 Pickup", when Morgan advises him on how to attract women (Austin). Also, "Somebody's Watching" kind of played a part with Lila's character, and in "the Fisher King Part Two", he admits that he writes his mother a letter every day. So, combine those all together, and you pretty much get this story. Drop me a line! :D

Disclaimer: I own neither the characters nor the rights to Criminal Minds.


For Spencer Reid, being a genius came easily. To him, it was second nature. Where ever he went, statistics and meaningless facts followed right behind. "Oh, you're hosting a barbecue? Did you know that each ear of corn has around 800 kernels, arranged into 16 different rows?" or "Oh, you're taking your kid to a petting zoo? Did you know that the smallest living horse is only 17 and a half inches tall, and is named Thumbelina?" or "Oh, you have arachnophobia? Did you know that some spiders can catch and eat fish?" or even "Oh, you're going to Starbucks? Did you know that one of the world's most expensive coffees comes from animal droppings?"

Yeah.

Add in the fact that he can read 20,000 words per minute, he has an IQ of 187, and he has an eidetic memory, and the description "genius" kind of falls short.

And he wasn't even thirty yet.

Emily said it herself; sometimes, his knowledge was so astounding that he seemed more machine than human.

Kind of like a robot.

But sometimes, he wished that he could tame his nerdiness and…live a little. Like he had with Lila. And Austin. And…

That was pretty much it.

Sometimes, all he wanted was a social life. He wanted things to be easy for him, like they were for Morgan. After his father had left, and he had to commit his mentally ill mother into a sanitarium, he pretty much…broke. Some people didn't understand that his intelligence was a shield. He wanted something to make him belong, and help him forget all the memories of his not-so-perfect childhood. Drugs had worked for a while…but he stopped.

He didn't want to go down that road.

On the other hand, he wasn't necessarily bad with women; JJ, Garcia, and Emily all loved him. But when it came to anyone else…he needed help. He wanted and needed someone who could look past all of his faults and quirks, and accept him for the person he really was. So, he asked around. What did it take to charm a lady? It had been an awkward question, to say the least, but all six of his teammates had answered.

Dave had teasingly told him to act sexy and promise her a good night.

"This coming from the man who has been divorced three times," Reid had scoffed, rolling his eyes and walking away.

Emily had advised to dress casually, but impressive, and to feel confidently about himself, because if anyone wanted him to change, they weren't worth it. They didn't deserve him. That comment had made a smile tug at the corners of his lips. Then she had added to talk about something…intriguing.

Because, apparently statistics weren't that big of a turn-on.

Morgan had suggested to play it cool and use magic. Again.

JJ had told him to smile a lot and act genuinely interested.

Garcia had said that if all else failed, slip something in her drink, take her home, and when she wakes up the next morning, chalk her huge headache up to a hangover from their ever so amazing night.

Drugs? Once again, not for him.

He had walked away with a wary expression on his face, unsure of whether she was joking or not.

And, although asking his boss for dating advice was just about the weirdest thing possible, he had done it, nevertheless. Hotch had said pretty much the exact same thing that everyone else had: Be yourself.

But when he was himself, he was a walking encyclopedia.

Great. Just great.

Reid sighed and looked down at the half-written letter on his desk, his fingers trailing lightly over the deep indentations of his not-so-neat handwriting.

Unfortunately for him, when it came to women, the only mainstays in his life were his female colleagues.

He picked up his pen and continued his daily his mother.


Author's Note: By the way, sorry for the really slow updates. I've just been really busy, but I'll try to finish this story, as well as "White", the last installation in my "Colors of Life" series. Stay tuned!