Hey everybody! Sorry that I haven't updated in a while. I've just been busy with school and collegiate sports!

I don't own HSM, just play the "what if game" with its characters.

Enjoy!


The stars shone brightly through the large windows of his bedroom. Light gently flooded the room. The sounds of crickets in the backyard and a thunderstorm off in the distance would normally be the perfect lullaby to fall asleep to. However, the circumstances surrounding the life that Gabriella Montez lead were no longer normal and therefore made sleeping and impossible feat to accomplish on this warm summer night.

Everything around her reminded Gabriella of the man that slept a floor below on the plush couch downstairs because he refused to let her sleep in anything but a bed. I fall asleep on the couch all the time and if it wasn't for me, you wouldn't even be in this situation, needing a place to stay. Gabriella chuckled at the sweet memory. Even when brooding and troubled, Troy always managed to be so unfailing kind and loving towards her. His smell saturated the pillows and sheets. Pictures of each other and their friends were scattered about the room. It made the pain of what was about to happen to their love all the more acute.

After their talk earlier that night, Gabriella had convinced Troy, although he was reluctant at first, to agree that they would continue to keep in contact over his tour in Afghanistan.

"I'm serious, Troy," Gabriella's voice was sharp and unyielding, "This war is temporary. We aren't."

Troy's head hung low in shame and defeat, a sight that Gabriella wasn't used to seeing and Troy wasn't used to showing. She had only seen it once before, shortly after she had broken up with him after the Lava Springs fiasco. It broke her heart to see the man that had always been so strong and sure of himself to be so timid and broken.

"Gabriella, I don't know how to make you understand," the pain in his voice nearly choked the words from his throat, "I'm not going to be the Troy that everyone remembers," Troy looked up to Gabriella, his eyes glazed over with a memory he'd rather forget.

"When I was in basic, we would do nothing but shooting drills and sneak attacks and how to become a shadow. We were trained to get a job done, no matter what that job was; saving hundreds of lives or taking out a single human being. I'm different now just from training. I HAVEN'T EVEN KILLED ANYONE AND I ALREADY FEEL COLD," his voice lowered to a whisper, "like something in me is dead and gone."

The tone in his voice shook Gabriella to her core as the realization of his transformation finally hit her. The couple had been standing rather close to each other, but during his speech, Troy had slowly moved to the other side of the room, his face turned from her teary eyes. Gabriella's jaw clenched in determination and preparation.

"I can't be the kind of man that doesn't deserve you. I can't be a shell and have you look at me with…" Troy's voice trailed off, searching for the right words to say, "I can't be the kind of man that you look at with pity and sadness. It will kill me Gabriella and honestly, I don't know how you would be able to love me after I get back, knowing what I have to do."

His last sentence caught Gabriella's attention and refused to let go of its hold on her. Knowing what I have to do… "What do you mean knowing what you have to do?" Gabriella's reply didn't mean to sound so menacing and accusing, but she couldn't help the shock and terror that resounded in her voice.

Troy's head hung even lower, if that was even possible. He raised his head suddenly, a newfound confidence and determination overtook him and Troy turned to face the woman he loved. His cobalt orbs shone like sparkling gems in the dim kitchen lighting, "I can't tell you. Not because I don't want to," he quickly added on as a rebuttal formed on Gabriella's lips, "I'm not authorized to. It's… important to national security. That's all I can tell you."

Gabriella remained silent for a moment, allowing the words to sink in. Troy was going somewhere dangerous to perform in a dangerous assignment. It wasn't fair! He was just eighteen, a high school graduate for crying out loud!

"Why you?" This time, Gabriella meant to sound accusing, "Why does it have to be you? What does the army see in you that makes you the only option?"

Troy couldn't say that he was fully surprised by the question. He had asked himself countless times since learning of his mission two day before finishing up basic training. It killed him that he couldn't give her a definitive answer, "I don't know."

A single tear rolled down Gabriella's cheek as his answer reverberated in the walls of her mind, frustrating her to no end. She would pay them no mind and instead focused on the man before her. She had never seen Troy looked so lost and broken, so scared for himself and for their love. It was all Gabriella could do to not rush to his side and bury her face in his strong chest as she encompassed him an a heartwarming embrace. She did any way.

The feeling of Gabriella in his arms set Troy's heart and soul right. There was a peace that flooded him the moment she set foot in his presence. Her warmth, her smile, the smell of Gabriella eased his mind and gave him a sense of belonging that he never wanted to lose.

"This war is going to change both of us," her voice was muffled against the fabric of his dark V-neck, "and it will change our love for one another. I know that you are going to have to kill, Troy. I know that, but knowing what I know, I can promise you that nothing will change the fact that I'm so in love with you that it hurts."

Troy's eyes closed as silent tears rolled down his rough cheeks. Her words stung and healed his heart all in one fatal swoop, "Gabriella, I love you so much. Please don't ever doubt that."

Gabriella raised her eyes to meet his teary gaze and fresh tears formed in her own, "I never have."

The crooked grin that he had flashed so many times in her direction formed on Troy's beautiful lips. A sparkle flickered in his sapphire irises and it left Gabriella breathless to see him so happy, even for a second. Remember that face, the voice inside her head spoke sharply, because you won't see it for a long time. That ugly truth rang out and left Gabriella with a sense of dread and a feeling of ice water in her veins.

But then Troy kissed her soundly, the crooked grin still on his face. His lips were soft and smooth yet deliciously firm. The light teasing of his tongue sent shivers down Gabriella's spine as she wrapped her arms around his thick neck and brought her body closer to his. This was where they belonged, wrapped up in each other's arms. She was sure of it….

Gabriella finally realized that sleep was a useless dream at this point. Her nimble hands and slim arms threw back the light summer comforter that smelled of her man. Her feet hit the soft, plush carpet below and Gabriella began her trek from Troy's bedroom in search of him as he slept in the living room.

She crept down the carpeted stairs, making sure to walk on her tiptoes in order to prevent waking the sleeping adults upstairs. It was difficult to understand, but Gabriella couldn't help but feel excitement and anticipation flood through her as she crept closer to the living room. It was a wonderful change of pace and circumstance. When she went to bed, Gabriella was a young woman fighting for a relationship with a man who was going away to fight in a war that while important, she understood it less and less. Treading down the stairs, she was simply a freshman in college, sneaking down to steal a few moments with her boyfriend in the middle of the night.

The feeling of excited tension and giddiness gave way to awe and amazement as Gabriella's chocolate orbs landed on her love's lounging form that resided on the plush, charcoal couch. Moonlight gently filled the room as it flooded through two large bay windows on either side of the dark mahogany entertainment center. The soft light of the moon landed on Troy's uncovered chest, a sight that took Gabriella's breath away.

While he had always been in excellent shape, Troy was nothing short of perfect as Gabriella saw him now. Rippling muscles were sculpted into his stomach; hard plains that were etched beautifully as his pectorals and the bulging biceps that overtook his veiny arms took her breath away. The beautiful way his muscles twitched any time he moved to get comfortable brought a smile to her face. Suddenly his beautiful way his muscles twitched any time he moved to get comfortable brought a smile to her face. Suddenly his beautiful blue eyes that always sent shivers down her spine sprung open and shown brightly as he gazed into her eyes.

"You going to stand there or you going to come over here and tell me why you aren't asleep?" it was nice to hear a small smile in his voice. Gabriella slowly moved forward.

"Maybe I just felt like taking a midnight stroll," even as the words escaped her mouth, Gabriella knew that her playful banter was only prolonging the inevitable.

Troy simply sat up; circles under his eyes spoke of countless nights with little rest and the sight tore at Gabriella's heart. She just wanted to ease his pain as well as the longing in her heart. His next words, however, caught Gabriella completely off her guard, but in the best possible way.

"Come here, baby," Troy's scruffy timbre held a sultry undertone that Gabriella couldn't help but melt and adhere to his request.

She walked over silently to join him on the couch. Troy rested back, his head resting on one of the arms as he scooted himself until his back was pressed firmly against the seat of the couch, leaving just enough room for Gabriella's tiny frame. She lay down next to him, the soft cotton of her borrowed t-shirt grazing the tanned flesh of his chest. One of Troy's muscular arms wrapped itself around Gabriella's trim and toned waist, pulling her even closer to the body behind her, while his other arm rested underneath their heads.

A small sigh escaped both their lips as the two of them found the most comfortable position. Gabriella's fingers danced across the veins that protruded out with his blonde hairs against the skin that covered them. She was rewarded with a gentle squeeze from behind.

"You know if my parents catch us," Troy began, a sleepy smile donned on his face, "I'm screwed."

Gabriella giggled quietly, and while she didn't know it, that sound was better than any lullaby as Troy's ears were filled with the glorious noise, "No way. They're just happy that you are even talking to me, let alone sleeping with me on the couch."

Her words wiped the smile from Troy's face as his actions over the past four weeks replayed over in his mind. He had so very nearly ruined both their love and their life together. He hated himself for the pain he had caused her, his parents, and himself. Don't forget why you did this. You're going to become a killer soon. You're unit is going to be the one that brings down half of Al Qaida. You're going to kill, Troy. Don't forget that.

This war is going to change both of us. It will change our love for one another. I know that you are going to have to kill, Troy. I know that, but knowing what I know, I can promise you that nothing will change the fact that I'm so in love with you that it hurts.

Gabriella's word echoed inside his tortured and convoluted brain. They bounced off the walls of his mind and settled deep within his soul. His arms tightened around her once again, "I'm so sorry, Gabriella."

Gabriella twisted her body around to face her love's face. She gazed into his eyes and placed a gentle hand onto his scruffy jaw, "Baby, don't-"

"Let me say this, Gabriella," Troy silenced her with a small kiss on her smooth forehead, "I'm so sorry that I tried to push you away. I'm so sorry that I broke your heart and mine. I love you, I love you so much and I don't ever want you to have to doubt that."

Gabriella smiled sweetly and gently kissed his smooth, full lips, "It's okay, baby. I just… don't ever believe that us being apart is better for us. I made that mistake once, and I nearly lost the most important part of me. I almost lost you. Don't ever think that us being apart is better."

Troy's eyes closed as he formulated his next sentence. There was no easy way to say it, "I'm scared Gabriella. I'm so scared of what I have to do, who I have to become. Who I'll be when I come home… I just," Troy's throat filled with bile and threatened to choke out his voice, "I can't be someone you can't love."

"You won't… never."

Gabriella pulled Troy's face close to hers and the shared a gentle kiss and breathed in the presence of one another. She brushed her hand across his cheek as Troy stroked the long ebony curls that fell onto her face before gently brushing them back, "Go to sleep, Troy. I'll be here in the morning."

"I leave in three days," his voice was tired but his words were clear and heartbreakingly true.

"I'll be here, and I'll be here five years from now. So long as you are."

Gabriella felt a soft kiss grace her hairline, "I will be, Gabriella. I will be."


Alright everyone, you know the drill. Hit that button and write your review!
For those of you who want to know, the playlist for this story is as follows:

1.) Save You ~ Matthew Perryman Jones

2.) Somewhere Only We Know ~ Keane

3.) Where the Road Meets the Sun ~ Matthew Perryman Jones ft. Katie Herzig

4.) Come Home ~ OneRepublic

Hope you all enjoyed it!

-shaganlovessoccer