Okay, so I missed my deadline by about two-and-a-half hours. Sorry! But I wanted the phone conversation to be in there, so I had to finish that up. :/ I hope its presence makes up for the slight tardiness. Now... I want to thank you all for your continued support. Your reviews/alerts/favorites completely make my day when I find them in my inbox. Good or bad, I always enjoy getting opinions! :) Now, that said, read on, review, and enjoy.


The smell of antiseptic filled Blaine's nostrils the moment the automatic doors opened, and an involuntary shudder raged through his body as memories washed over him - eyes opening to darkness, the sounds and smell his only companions; the burning solution further blinding him and mingling with the tears running down his face; the difficulty breathing; the bruises; the slurs playing over and over and over in his mind after Sadie Hawkins; the fear...

"No," he whispered, meandering through the unfamiliar hallways. "This is a happy visit. Stop it."

It took him three wrong turns and two elevator rides, but he finally arrived in a small waiting room, where an anxious looking Elli smiled up at him. "Is it ridiculous that I'm relieved you're here? Like, I know that we don't really know each other, but I feel like you're probably the only person in the world who knows how I feel right now."

"No. I feel the exact same way," he confessed quietly, sinking into the chair next to her. "I've, um, only told two people. My best friend, who's in Washington for school, and my ex, who was obviously less than supportive. It's been a lonely couple of weeks."

"I know," she answered, drawing her knees to her chest in the chair. "I haven't told anyone yet. Not even my best friend. I don't know what I'd have done if we hadn't been texting so much. I mean, the Songbirds think I'm anorexic, and since it's a boarding school, my parents don't know anything's wrong yet. Everyone still thinks I haven't had sex since I was a sophomore, so..."

"Wow. So you really haven't talked to anyone but me? At all?"

"No one," she confirmed softly. "I don't want anyone telling me what I should or shouldn't do. At least not until I figure out what I'm going to do about it, which... I may be ready to tell them soon. Can we, um, talk about that after the appointment? Get food or something and just sit down and have a discussion? I don't want to throw it at you before the appointment."

"Of-of course." Blaine's stomach knotted up, concern immediately weighing on him. He certainly did not like the sound of that. "Of course."

She nodded and reached over to squeeze his hand, her fingers icy and slightly damp. "Don't worry. Focus on what's about to happen instead."

"Well, that was..."

"Intense?" Elli laughed, swishing her skirt around playfully as they exited the hospital. "I'm always so happy when I get out of there. I hate doctors, so it's like a breath of fresh air to escape, you know?"

"I know," he promised. "Hospitals give me the heeby-jeebies, so it takes a lot of willpower not to run out screaming every time I'm physically capable of it."

"Which tells me there have been bad times when you weren't physically capable of it," she noted softly, looking up at him with her large, emerald eyes. Blaine couldn't help but notice the underlying understanding in her gaze. "I know you were an emergency transfer, which Dalton has never really allowed, and I heard about what Sebastian did last year. I'm sorry you had to be in there for so long, and for whatever the idiots of your past did to you."

It was the first time in Blaine's memory in which he didn't feel the incessant need to flee at any reference to the Sadie Hawkins dance he'd worked so hard to repress. Instead, he smiled. "Thank you. I wish I could say I knew something about you, but..." He trailed off awkwardly, paused a moment, then began again. Where do you want to eat?"

"Chu's?" she answered instantly, her pupils dilating slightly as her eyes widened. "I have been craving orange chicken all week, but I haven't been able to get off-campus to get it."

Blaine chuckled lightly at her eagerness. "Orange chicken? In all of the world of food, you crave orange chicken?"

"And raspberry Tootsie Pops, which have been a bit more accessible. But seriously. Orange chicken? Please?"

Laughing, Blaine nodded, beginning the short, two-block walk. "How could I deny you anything? Besides, you said we needed to discuss something."

"Right." The playful teasing atmosphere evaporated instantly at his words and she nodded tersely. No attempt at conversation was made until their waitress had taken their orders.

"So..."

Blaine could see the gears turning in her head, no doubt trying to find the best way to deliver the news. He'd left the decision in her hands, promising to stick around regardless of the answer. He knew he wanted to keep the baby, but as she had request in one of their text conversations, he hadn't given any input into their future. "Just say it. You don't need to tread lightly here."

"I'm not keeping the baby. Like I said before - I will not kill it- him or her-, but I am not ready to be a mom."

He nodded slowly, feeling as if a bucket of ice water had been dumped over him. "Then where do we go from here?"

"We look for families to adopt him," she said, sounding a decade older than she had even seconds before. "People who will love him and who are ready to be parents."

"What if-" The words caught in his throat, the idea forming and finding life before he'd even really had time to think it through. He knew he wanted to be a dad. He knew he did not want to miss out on his child's life. He'd been making plans, having convinced himself that since he wanted to keep the baby, she must as well. NYU had family housing. All of the Ohio schools were close enough to drive back every weekend, if not more often. He had a trust fund set up by his grandmother waiting for him the moment he turned eighteen. He knew he was young. He knew it would be hard. But he had been ready for them to do this. Maybe... Maybe he was ready to do this. "What if I want to adopt him or her? Or- Take custody, I guess? You wouldn't have to have anything to do with us. No child support, no phone calls... I promise I would leave you out of it. Unless you wanted an open adoption. You know, visitation or pictures... It can be on whatever terms you want, but..."

"I don't know," she answered, her voice hard. "I don't even know if I'm allowed to say no."

"Would you? You know, say no?"

For the briefest of seconds, Blaine was certain a flicker of guilt flashed in her eyes, but she steeled her gaze quickly. "I don't know."


"You told her you want to raise the baby alone? Blaine."

"I know, Wes," Blaine sighed, staring at his bedroom ceiling, his cell phone pressed tightly to his ear. "It was crazy and poorly thought out, and I shouldn't have done it, but I did."

"Did you mean it?"

"I- God, I don't know. Yes? I think so? I mean- Ugh," he sighed again, thrusting his feet on the floor so the standard pacing could commence. "Wes, what am I doing?"

"You tell me, B."

They sat in silence for a long while, and Blaine carefully studied a framed photo of his brother, father, and himself on his desk, all the while trying to match his friend's steady breathing to avoid what he could only assume was inevitable hyperventilation. Finally, as if sensing his friends distress, Wes stepped back in. "Okay, deep breath. Talk to me."

"I don't know what to say."

Another sigh issued from the receiver. "You know you're my best friend, right?"

"Yeah."

"And that I love you?"

"Wes, where are you going with this?"

The next question stopped Blaine in his tracks. "Why are you doing this? Have you thought about it?"

"What?"

"I know you've thought about what you want to do. You've sent me all the research. But in all your planning, have you thought about why you're doing it?"

Wes' voice was kind, but his words grated against Blaine. Of course he knew why he was doing this. He'd done nothing but think about it from the moment he found out. He was doing this because- "I have no idea."

"That's what I was afraid of. Try to talk it out. Why do you want to keep this baby?"

"I'm it's dad."

"And?"

"It's my baby."

"And?" Silence. "You're not really saying anything, Blaine," Wes admonished, his tone still soft. "Are you sure you aren't doing this because you think you're supposed to do it? I mean, I am glad you stayed for her. That's what you should have done, but this... Is there a reason beyond, 'I'm it's dad,' that can answer it?"

"Yes. I mean, I don't know the words, but- I don't just feel like I should. I want to. I'm gay. I don't know if I'm ever going to have another baby that is mine, beginning to end. The idea of giving that up..." Not for the first time, tears welled up in his eyes, and Blaine fought to keep them from falling, as usual to no avail. "I can't. I love it. I haven't seen it, I haven't heard it, I haven't felt it. The closest visuals of it I have are a blue plus sign, other peoples' ultrasound photos, and an olive. But I still love it- him or her."

There was a small smile in Wes' voice. "Now we're getting somewhere. But, B, have you thought about what's best for him or her? This may be what you want, but is it what's best for both of you?"

"That one I have thought about," Blaine murmured, sinking back onto the bed, the family photo now tightly clenched in his hand. His thumb idly traced his father's face, not failing to notice that his arm rested around Cooper, while Blaine stood idly next to them, a fake grin plastered on his face. "I never- never- want this baby to think he or she wasn't wanted. I've been there. I know what it's like to have a dad who won't look at you or talk to you or even acknowledge your existence. Having other people that care about you- other almost parents- just isn't the same because you still know that at the end of the day, you weren't wanted by the people who are all but required to love you. I'm not going to do that to him or her. I'm can't. I know I won't be able to give it everything that I had growing up- I'm not going to be rich- but I also know that at the end of the day, I would trade all of the money my dad made in a heartbeat if it meant I could have my dad. Really have him, not cohabitate with him or share a thousand awkward stares across the dinner table. So if I can do nothing else, I will give him or her exactly what I never had because he or she deserves that. I love him."

"Or her," Wes added, chuckling. Blaine laughed. "Fine, you've sold me. You know what you're doing."

Blaine couldn't stop the short, bark-like laugh that escaped his lips. "I have no idea what I'm doing."

"Well," Wes snickered, "I trust that you know why you're doing whatever it is you're doing, which is all I really wanted. You can flounder around all you want from here."

"Gee, thanks. Good night, Wes."

"Goodnight, fish boy."

"What?"

"Flounder, fish boy... Get it?"

"Goodnight, Wes."