The news hit her like a ton of bricks. She closed her eyes and bowed her head for the fallen Asuma Sarutobi. However, she couldn't cry now, not when the three men before her waited for their orders. She couldn't cry for the man she knew as a child, not when her village needed her. She finally managed to form words. "I see . . ."
Kotetsu lowered his eyes and asked softly, "What about Kurenai?"
Tsunade thought about it, well aware that Shikamaru was staring at her intently. She furrowed her brow and sighed deeply. After a few moments of contemplation, she answered, "You three notify everyone about the funeral. I'll tell Kurenai myself."
The three men nodded their understanding and left Tsunade alone. She sighed and held her head in her hands. It had to be done, she knew that, but she didn't know why it was necessary in the first place. She fought back feelings of guilt for sending Asuma out on such a dangerous mission. It was only right that Tsunade would inform Kurenai of the news herself.
Slowly, she got to her feet and left the office. Her mind raced as she exited the building and made her way to Kurenai's home. She remembered the day when she received the news about Nawaki's death. With a small shudder, she pushed those thoughts aside and concentrated on her current task. Kurenai deserved all the care and attention Tsunade could give. The Hokage was a healer, after all. She knew Kurenai was going to need all the help she could get to heal from this injury.
All too soon, Tsunade found herself in front of Kurenai's apartment. She reluctantly knocked on the door and steeled herself to deliver the heartbreaking news.
The door slid open. Tsunade first noticed Kurenai's distinct red eyes. They showed surprise at seeing the Hokage, but changed to reflect worry and fear. "Lady Fifth," Kurenai said shakily. "How can I help you?"
Tsunade took a deep breath and said softly, "Asuma has been killed."
Kurenai was frozen with shock. Despair registered on her face right before she hid it in her hands. She crumpled and her knees hit the ground with a dull thud. Tsunade's heart ached in sympathy for Kurenai. She crouched down next to the woman and placed a hand on one of her shoulders. Kurenai fell against Tsunade and sobbed.
The elder woman remained silent. She knew from experience that words would not provide any comfort. They stayed like that for a while as Kurenai released her pent up worry, fear, and now, sorrow. Once Kurenai's sobs dissipated into dry heaves, Tsunade slowly helped her to her feet.
"Come on inside," she said. "I'll get you something to drink."
Kurenai stumbled into her apartment and collapsed onto the couch. She buried her face in her hands again, but the heaving had gone away. Tsunade went into the kitchen, found a glass, and poured water in it. She brought it out to Kurenai and took a seat next to her.
"Thank you for telling me, Lady Tsunade," Kurenai's voice had gone hoarse and it was difficult for Tsunade to hear her.
"Don't thank me, it's my duty."
The two women remained quiet, both lost in their own dark thoughts. Tsunade noticed that Kurenai hadn't taken a drink. After a few more moments, Tsunade spoke up, "The funeral will be held tomorrow. Shikamaru, Kotetsu, and Izumo are informing the villagers."
Kurenai nodded her head, but didn't say anything.
"I must get back to the office," Tsunade continued, standing up. "Will you be okay?"
Kurenai looked up at the Hokage. "Eventually," she muttered.
Tsunade made it a point to send Shikamaru to see her. He seemed the closest to Asuma and it wouldn't be good for Kurenai to be alone. "Come to me if you ever need anything," she said, opening the door.
"Lady Fifth, wait," Kurenai said. "You're the Hokage. I expected you to tell me that everything would be alright and that Asuma died a hero." Before Tsunade could reply, she went on, "Thank you for not doing that. Those words would have only been empty comfort."
The Hokage pushed back thoughts of Nawaki and Dan again and concentrated on the grieving woman in front of her. "Hollow words don't comfort. They don't help you through pain. Only those that understand can help. Anyone who doesn't understand shouldn't try to make you feel better. Remember that you won't get over this, but you'll get through this."
Tsunade closed the door of the apartment and began the trek back to her office.
A few words about this one-shot:
I hope that I portrayed grief in a believable way here.
Also, this deviates a little from canon as it was Shikamaru who informed Kurenai and not Tsunade.
Finally, I have a few more ideas lingering about for one-shots. If anyone wants more, give me some ideas and I'll be glad to try and make them work! Thanks for reading!
