AN: Since I did so well on my final for summer session 2, I decided to go ahead and post part four! I got an A this session as well so woohoo! Anyways I'm trying to see if my beta is available for editing tonight so I can get ch 26 out to all of you very soon! Anyways where we last left off Bella had basically ordered Jacob to go sleep. And sleep he did! Enjoy!
Part songs: Miles Away by Depeche Mode and Nothing's Impossible by Depeche Mode
Part Four
I didn't know where I was at first as I lay somewhere in the dark. Somewhere that was soft and smelled incredible. Initially, nothing felt familiar, though my brain registered it all as such. The room was quiet, dark, but the moonlight shone through making it look lighter. Not that I needed it to see everything in the room. I didn't remember coming up the stairs, or moving from the sofa I'd fallen asleep on.
Bookcases and CDs littered the room. I knew the scent that lingered heaviest in this space. Ness's room. Jasper and Emmett must have moved me once I passed out. How did I not wake up with vampires that close? Especially carrying my huge ass up three floors?
Huh, guess Leah's right. I am useless when I'm that tired. I leaned back against the bed and inhaled the scent around me. It wasn't the same as holding her here. There was no warmth aside the product of my own body heat. The soft smell of her hung in the sheets and on the pillows, both helping and exacerbating the pain within my chest.
The house was still abuzz with tension though I could feel the rolling calm coming from somewhere within. Jasper was working overtime I could tell. I sat on the edge of the bed, putting my head in my hands. The crushing weight was strangling all the air from my lungs. It was difficult to exist without her and not have to deal with this pain. The pain only made it worse.
I tried to push the pain down somewhere deep where it wouldn't be so incredibly painful. How did I manage when she was growing up? Granted I wasn't in love with her back then, but I still cared for her. The imprint has always been this strong. Was it because I was compelled to do what was right for her over my needs? Nowadays all I need is her. Compelled to be near her every second. The shift between us happened so quickly, seamlessly, that I didn't realize how codependent I was becoming. Worse than I ever thought was possible.
Would I change it? Never.
Downstairs, I found Jasper setting up the chess board. It was the antique oak one in Carlisle's study. "Do you play?" he asked, not looking over his shoulder.
I grinned a little. "No. Never really learned."
"Do you want to?" he offered, extending a hand to the open chair across him.
Normally I would have declined, instead watching Ness get murdered in chess. Jasper was the best in the family at the game. Edward only won when he could use his ability to formulate a counterattack. Alice and Edward playing chess was by far the most boring. They both preferred to play the game silently, going through the moves without any movement until one of them would give up and knock their king over.
"Eh, what the hell, sure."
"Okay, so basics are that you want to use the best strategy to get the King on my side. Your strongest player on the board is the queen, she can pretty much do anything. Rook's can go in a line, several spaces ahead. The knight can only go in an L-shaped formation. Pawns are the weakest and usually the first to leave the board. Bishops move like Rook's, only diagonally."
I took everything he said into account. Couldn't be too hard, could it?
"Now the difficult part is the strategy," Jasper mused as we began the game.
Silence fell over us as I tried to focus on the game. It was helpful to relieve the pain, as was Jasper being around. Had to admit the guy did come in handy. "So what got you into this?"
"Chess? It's something to do, really. To pass the time when there's an infinite amount of it in front of you."
"So it's not the military background?"
He chuckled, an odd lightness in his face. Different from the usual focus and concern. "No, it's really not. Though it does help a bit to think of things as a battle strategy, fully on logic and nothing more. The Confederate army back then was extremely disorganized so I'm not sure exactly how much real military strategy I learned then. Most of my battle tactics came from my years with Maria."
I sighed and moved my bishop, taking out his knight. He glanced up, a surprised look on his face. "Fast learner."
"I'll say. I'm not surprised. You come from a long line of warriors. Good strategic thinking is in your DNA."
"Probably, true. My family is one of the three families that directly descended from Taha Aki, apparently. Can't be sure how many families he created. He was married three times and had several children in each marriage."
"And the third was his imprint?"
"Yeah. He lived two lifetimes before he met her. Now look at the rest of us, most of us are imprinted and a few married with kids on the way. Next generation of wolves already beginning. It's insane to think about."
Jasper moved his second knight out, claiming my last pawn. "That is the one thing you'll enjoy about living forever. Watching how humans evolve and change over time. I grew up in a very different time than this. Texas in the middle 1800s wasn't the place it is today, though the people are just as full of pride now like then. Biggest fears for us in Houston was whether the Comanche would raid on the outlying homes and ranches. It was a dangerous time to grow up in."
"It's weird to think you grew up when it was really the wild west."
"It really was. I learned how to shoot just after I could walk."
Alice came into the room then, the two of them gravitating towards each other. A strange pairing, considering the size and personality disparities. "Who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks?" she remarked, a playful smile lighting up her face.
Har-dee-har-har, pixie. "Don't you have a fashion magazine to squeal over?" I quipped back.
She sighed and shook her head. "Contrary to your misguided shaggy head, I'm not completely about fashion. Actually I just began my day in the Southeast Asian stock market."
"Asia, huh?"
She grinned, squeezing her husband's shoulder. "Yes, the market in Thailand is booming."
I nodded and kept moving around the board. I was losing, I could tell. Yet I was still holding my own. I raked a hand through my hair. It was getting longer than I had it in a long time. Almost to the point of needing to go at it with the kitchen shears at home. "Hey, Alice, do you have any scissors?"
One tiny black eyebrow quirked up. "Why?"
"I think I need to cut my hair. It's getting a little too long. Longer hair means longer fur. It's just easiest to keep it short," I explained.
Alice's eyes went wide, like I just told her I wanted to impale babies on spikes for fun. "You want to cut it yourself?"
"Yeah? That a problem?"
Jasper smirked and mouthed, Say yes to whatever she wants.
"Would you let me do it?"
"Alice, seriously..."
"I promise I'll do a good job, just a short cut right? It'll be nothing, twenty, thirty minutes at the most." The tiny but formidable woman in front of me was about as hopeful as a little kid on Christmas morning. I had a feeling that it would be a very strong possibility if I turned her down that the lower lip would quiver and her eyes would grow large and pleading.
I eyed her, wondering just how much I could make her grovel. Jasper chuckled, catching on to the mischievous mood. "Don't be mean, Jake, you need a hair cut and I have a free moment or two before my conference call with my client. At least give me something to do until then. Pretty please?"
I shook my head and sighed. "Ah Alice, you're like a little kid begging your mother for a new toy, but sure, just be quick and not too short, please."
"Yay! You're almost as much of a pushover as Bella."
"Can it wait until after the game?" I asked. She rolled her eyes and gave a pointed glance at her husband. In a moment he had my king cornered. "How?"
"Check mate. You left your last rook in the perfect spot."
I rolled my eyes. Damn sneaky vampire. "Rematch later?"
Jasper smiled wide and a low laugh shook his shoulders. "You're on."
I followed the sprite to her bedroom. The vanity in the bathroom was monstrous and decked out in all things girly. How did Jasper live with all this? And what in the hell did she need that much hair goop for? "Damn, Alice. And I thought Amber had a ton of hair crap. You have her beaten by a mile."
Alice giggled and pulled out a small black roll. "Renesmee lets me trim her hair as she needs it. It keeps growing, you know," she explained. When I looked at her little set of shears of different sizes and ends, I was a little intimidated. I didn't know scissors came in so many shapes. "Sit," she instructed, patting the overly padded and very, very pink chair.
I sat and she grimaced. "What?"
"You're too tall. Slouch down for me."
Sliding down in the chair a little bit, I watched in her massive mirror as she began to work. Years ago I would have laughed when I saw a vampire's reflection in a mirror. Myths that Hollywood capitalized on were pretty much false in reality.
"So why did you let your hair get so long again? Last time you grew this out was before Edward and Bella got engaged."
"Well, back then I had a reason... now not so much. Really, I just didn't have time. Patrol, the garage, life on the Rez..."
"And taking up all of my niece's time..." Alice finished for me.
I rolled my eyes. "I don't ask her to come over, she just does. She knows she's welcome to come over whenever she wishes."
"She's over quite a bit," Alice countered. Clips of hair began falling around my feet and the shears made that little snip, snip, snip sound.
I chuckled. So like Alice. "Your point? If she's not at my house, she's at Billy's or over at Emily and Sam's. She's always somewhere on the Rez, and not always with me. I do work, you know," I reminded. This side of Alice I knew. She was fishing for information. In many ways I was very grateful that she couldn't see mine or Renesmee's future. The linchpin to Ness's entire idea of keeping things private and on the sly was due not only to Bella's help but also Alice's blindness with us.
I wished though, just wished that I could have fought just a little bit harder to get this relationship out in the open long before this. Alice and few others in the family had their suspicions but it seemed the only one who really figured it all out was Bella. A small bit of relief that at least someone knew how much I had fallen for Ness. Weird thing was I never thought I'd ever understand Bella's relationship with Edward, but it made a crazy amount of sense to me now.
Guess you have to find someone you'd die for to understand the depth of that kind of devotion.
"All done!" Alice announced.
"Seriously?"
"Yep, told you it would be quick and painless." She boasted, hoisting her tiny little self up on her vanity. I looked in the mirror. Gone was the shaggy hair and in place was a short crop instead. I ran a hand through it and smiled.
"Thanks, Alice."
"Anytime."
A moment later I went downstairs and out to the yard while Alice cleaned up her mess. I changed out by a tree and let the shift come over me. Now that I'd at least gotten some sleep, though not much, I'd at least be able to function in wolf form.
Sleep well? Quil asked as soon as I was on four paws.
Like a baby.
You know, I never got the expression. Babies, well most of them, do not sleep through the night.
Well, it still fits for me. Had a rough go. What's doing up there?
Whole lotta nothin'.
Good. We want that. If anything, we want them back and unscathed ASAP.
Roger that.
Once the pack meeting was done, I set up a stronger patrol system. Rookies and veterans were going to work together for the most part. Leah, Embry, and I were to supervise in shifts. Always someone with some authority in the pack should be present just in case the line ever gets breached.
The time seemed to inch by, though it had been plenty of time for them to get to Volterra. They must be there now. I couldn't imagine just how they were going to do this. How much sweet talkin' Edward and Carlisle were going to have to do to get them out of there.
The thoughts of the three of them trapped in that ancient city kept turning around in my head, making it spin. I had to find a way to distract myself again. Chess games with Jasper could only do so much. I needed to do something. Build something or tear it apart. Manual labor always had a way of clearing my head of all the cobwebs inside. I made my way over to the garage.
One of the best things about having an in with the Cullens was the access to the cars. All modified and upgraded with the best of the best. A car lover's wet dream. I could hear Rosalie cranking away on something in there. Awesome. Not. Working on cars was a love of mine and dealing with a very pissy Rosalie Hale was decidedly not. Taking a breath, I ducked inside the garage.
"What do you want?" she snapped, looking up from under the hood of the R8.
"Need something to do."
"You can't go annoy someone else?"
I rolled my eyes. "Working on cars helps clear my head. Do you mind if I help?"
"I don't need your help."
"Rosalie, I wasn't saying you needed it. I was offering it. Christ." I sighed in annoyance. I could be a patient man but there was just something about her that made me feel like I was listening to nails on a chalkboard.
Rosalie went back to work on the car to what looked like adding more oomph to the engine. Like it needed it. It wasn't the V-12 Aston Martin or a Ferrari but it was one of the best sports cars I'd ever seen in person. A moment later she relented, sliding the tool box over on it's wheels. "Grab a set and get to work. It's a mostly computerized system, you know how to handle that?"
"Definitely. I see a few of those systems in the garage. Kind of takes the fun out of tearing apart an engine." Getting to work was easy. I noticed quickly that it was rather silent in the garage. I filled the void with inane chatter, telling Blondie things that she probably didn't give a second thought on a normal day.
"Do you always talk this much?" she asked about fifteen minutes into my ramble.
I didn't know whether she was asking rhetorically or literally so I went with the latter. "I tend to, yes. I might not talk as much if it were a two way conversation instead of talking to dead air." I didn't want to be rude. I didn't hate the woman but she did grate on my nerves from time to time. Okay, well, all the time. This time, though, things were different. Everyone was going through the separation. Family was across the world, risking everything for the way of life Carlisle has lived for nearly four centuries.
She harrumphed and flicked her hair over her shoulder. Annoying as ever. I tried to shut up after that, but I could only do it for so long. Everything was bubbling up and coming out word vomit style for a reason that I had no idea about.
"I miss them, too," I blurted out. Her sharp, gold eyes flashed up to my face. "Just sayin'. I know you wouldn't be out here throwing yourself into the modifications if everything was a-okay."
Flippant and furious, she passed off my observation. She was trying to prove that idea false but really only making it true."You don't know what you're talking about."
An amused chuckle ripped from my throat. "Yeah, I do. Do you think I'm not freaking out that she's there? She's my imprint, you know. I get what you're going through on a strong level. It's your family there in possible danger.
Defeated, the blonde closed her eyes, setting down her socket wrench. "Of course I'm scared. My kind doesn't take change too easily. Losing Nessie would be horrible. She and Emmett have been the few people that make this life worth living for me. To lose either of them or even my brother and adopted father would be a fate I never want to experience. I choose not to dwell on it. I can't control this and it'll just make me go insane if I try to exert control over an uncontrollable situation."
"I get that. I do. I just... I can't get it out of my head."
Rosalie's face softened a look I'd never seen directed at me. "You know, when you're not being the most annoying person on the planet, you're actually not half bad."
The sentiment, though laced with backhanded compliments and a dash of spite, was probably the nicest thing Blondie had ever said to me. "Thanks, I think."
She chuckled and shrugged. "I know I've never been very nice to you. I never liked you. I saw the disdain you had for my family and how you tried to ruin the happiness of my brother and I didn't like you at all. Then when Bella was pregnant, and you sided with Edward and tried to force her into a choice out of fear... that pissed me off."
"Not one of my finer moments. I didn't even understand what I was feeling back then. I couldn't leave even though it was killing me to watch Bella suffer so much. I just physically couldn't do it."
"That was Ness, wasn't it?"
I nodded. "Hindsight's a bitch."
"No kidding. You realize that Bella is a rare exception in the vampire world. She's one of the few who ever chose to be turned."
"You didn't want this? To stay young and pretty forever?"
She chuckled wryly. "Hardly. I had my life all mapped out. I was engaged and happy when I had everything taken from me. Hindsight really is very clear. The man I was engaged to, along with his friends raped, beat, and left me for dead in the street the night Carlisle found me. He did what he thought was right, not knowing that I just wanted to die."
"Ness told me you never wanted this, but I didn't know you went through that." I replied, unsure of what to say. Really what do you say to something like that? Even still what kind of a bastard would do such a thing to a woman he supposedly loved?
She nodded. "So much like her father sometimes," she mused with an indulgent smile. "Emmett made things better. Easier. I didn't come to terms with my change and the fact I could no longer have children until Bella came home pregnant. You think I wanted Bella to die? No. I was prepared to take care of Renesmee should that have happened. Edward misconstrued that as a plan to ensure Bella's death. He may be able to see into my head, but sometimes he can't see the forest for the trees.
Ness's presence in this family has only made things better. She's made this family whole and brought us a greater security in our lifestyle. The humanity in her reminds me and the rest of us of why we abstain."
I didn't know what to make of this. The ice queen with a heart? I think Hell has finally frozen over, heh, maybe the Seahawks really have a chance at the Super Bowl then next season. "Never thought of it that way."
"Well you've never seen it from my perspective."
"Didn't know that I should have tried. You don't seem to let people in at all."
"That's because I don't. People tend to disappoint me. Also it's just easier to avoid temptation by keeping most people at a firm distance," she explained, drawing her attention back to the car in front of her.
I looked down at my hands for a moment. "That's a pretty closed off way to live."
"It is. However, it's what I know." And what a sad existence that must be. To constantly push people away? I understood it from a temptation level. Even a veggie vamp with decades of experience of 'just say no' would find it difficult to resist the temptation of human blood.
A different silence fell over us as we settled back into the project at hand. Before today I never really gave much thought to Rosalie ever being more than just an annoyance I dealt with to be near Renesmee. Yet she'd shared something private and horrific from her past. "Thanks, Rosalie, you know, for sharing."
The corner of her mouth turned up. "Rose."
"What?"
Her smile grew wider as she explained. "Close friends and family call me Rose."
"Rose," I said, testing out the sound. It was surprisingly easy. Weird, I never imagined being considered either a friend or a family member by her, but I liked it just the same.
The entire house froze when Esme's cell phone rang. Esme somehow removed herself from suspended animation to answer it. "Carlisle?" Her shoulders sagged in relief and she let out a few dry sobs.
I couldn't imagine what it felt like to cry without tears. Must be weird. Everyone looked to her for answers when Bella's cell phone was next. I stared at my phone, willing it to ring. Maybe she was sleeping. I couldn't begrudge her that. She needed sleep as much as I did. Even still, I wanted to hear her voice to know she's okay. Bella's icy hand came to my shoulder, I looked up and she grinned, mouthing They're okay, she's okay. All the air left my lungs in a huge sigh of relief. "Edward, what did Aro want?" she asked. "Oh, okay, sure, long story. I get it. Is everything okay though?... You're not sure? But you're okay and Ness is? Okay. Yes, we'll be there to pick you three up. Well come and get it then. Bring our girl home safe. I love you, too."
I tried not to listen in on the one sided conversation but I couldn't help it. Any information about Ness was absolutely critical to me right now. The pain eased slightly when I knew she was okay. If only I could hear her phone lit up then, her face coming across the screen. Perfect timing.
"Ness?" The need to hear her voice and see her face grew more with just the fact she was on the other end of the line. What a whipped sap I've become. But I knew I wouldn't change it. Not for a second. I didn't know if that was just because of the loss of my free will when it came to certain things, or the fact I'd fallen in love with her, completely on my own without any provocation or expectation from her. Maybe it had started because she cared for me more than any platonic friendship, but it'd grown organically from there for me. Completely unchecked.
"Hi," she answered. I closed my eyes and let the sound roll around in my head. "I wanted to call and let you know we're on the way back to Seattle. I'm in New York," she explained. I glanced at my watch. How much longer until she's here? A flight from New York was a good five to six hours, depending on the weather, of course.
Just the sound of her voice, though, had me damn near giddy. She was safe and coming home. "I know, Bella and Esme are still on the phone with Edward and Carlisle," I replied, near delirious laughter. I had to be beyond delirium now and into insanity. Maybe it was the lack of sleep or the crazy separation that was making me nuthouse material. Was that completely pathetic of me? To stay here going out of my mind with worry until she got back? In hindsight, it does just a bit. But could anyone really blame me? She's absolutely everything. To face the very real idea of losing her just as we're starting out...
"Jake..." Her voice cracked, full of either emotion or exhaustion, it was hard to tell which without her face near. Where Bella had always been an open book - Renesmee was doubly so. So easy to read, which made her so frustrating when she kept things to herself. "You shouldn't have, really, you have your own life to lead. What about the garage?"
Screw it. I got up and went out into the front yard. The joyous emotions in the house were too much. I'd be a mess soon if I didn't check myself. "Collin's been covering since you left. It's only been two days so far." I owed Collin, big time. And where the hell did she get off telling me I had my own life to lead? Didn't she get it? She's my life. Friends, family, the pack and work didn't mean as much as she did. The second I imprinted, everything else got pushed down a notch or two."'Sides, it's not a life without you," I confessed. Idiot! Great way to make the girl feel guilty for leaving.
Her silence was proof of the guilt I'd caused. Awesome, add another mistake to the pile. Nothing like making your imprint feel guilty for trying to do the right thing. Nice one, Jake.
"I know. I'll be counting the hours and minutes until I'm home."
Me too, honey. Me. Too.
"Five and a half," I remarked back to her. Since we're being honest, might as well 'fess up that I would be eagerly counting down 'til I could see her again. "It's been ridiculous here without you. Everyone's been anxious. Poor Jasper needs a vacation. The pack is keeping security up on the Rez just in case Demetri or whoever decides to make another appearance. I don't trust them not to come back. Caius wants the tribe eradicated, especially those with the wolf gene."
"There's, um, some things that I need to talk to you about when I get home," she added. I sighed, loudly and cussed under my breath. I hate it when she's like this. What's with the cryptic mumbo jumbo? Say what you mean, I silently pled. I guessed it was just as well. Anything that important would be better face-to-face.
"Can't talk to me about it on the phone?" I couldn't hide the disappointment. I was starved for information here. What did Aro want with her? What did he see in her? Obviously he wanted her for the guard. She's talented, after all, though her gift was more defensive than an offensive weapon.
"Not really, no. It's better if I explain in person," she assured me. I grumbled again. Logic me to death, why don't ya?
But still I pressed, desperate for any information. "What did the Volturi want?" Stood between two trees, just off the side of the meadow driveway. The outside world looked as normal as ever, which only served to piss me off more. How could everything be so normal when in reality it was anything but?
"Believe me, it's better if I tell you in person."
The anger boiled up in me. Had they done something? I punched the tree in front of me, hard but it only shook in its place. My hand though was the one bruised and bleeding. The pain felt good, felt real. The wounds and contusions were already healing. No bones had been broken. "They didn't try to hurt you, did they? If they did, I swear to Christ -" I could barely think the words let alone say them. If they had tried anything it would take a lot to stop me from taking the pack on a little business trip to Italy.
"No, no they didn't attempt anything. Not even Jane tried. I don't think Aro would have liked that very much. He was, umm, hospitable," she continued. Hospitable? Really? Really?
I laughed in annoyance. "Hospitable? Leeches like Aro are anything but accommodating, honey. But okay, I'll be here when you get home."
"Have you at least slept at all?"
"Have you?"
"Barely," she admitted. I didn't blame her. I bet any sleep she got was on the flight out there. Sleeping on planes, however, was always uncomfortable. Hardly comparable to waking up at home in La Push with her draped across my chest. Hair all tangled and in her face. Soon. It wouldn't be much longer.
"'Bout the same here. Bella has been worse, pacing back and forth so much that I think Esme has to redo the carpeting. If the only reason I exist wasn't in mortal danger, it would be hilarious."
And then I heard a sound I didn't think I'd hear for a while. She laughed, true it was muted and soft, but it was still a laugh. I couldn't help myself but I smiled so hard the corners of my mouth hurt. "I miss you."
Damn, did I miss her. "Miss you, too. More than I can ever explain."
"I understand, really," Did she really? Was she trying to tell me that she worked out whatever confusion she'd had? In the background I could hear something loud, like someone speaking over a loud speaker. "Jake, listen, I need to go, they've called up First Class to board. I'll see you very soon,"
"Okay. See you in a few hours then."
"See you."
I stared at the phone after the line went dead. She was okay. And more importantly, she'd kept her promise. She was coming back to me.
AN: Hope you all enjoyed! Look for an LIT update soon!
