Ripple effect

Habits

"Where the fuck is that sack of fur!" Black*Star cursed loudly as he stomped the ground impatiently. "The dude told us he had seen him in this village!"

"Black*Star." Tsubaki prompted by patting the edge of her bed within the hotel room. "There's no use beating yourself up over it. We'll have to rest up good so we can follow his trail tomorrow."

"But Soul could be dead by then. He's— he's— weak." Black*Star spat out the word as if I was a curse.

"We can't help Soul if we don't take care of ourselves." Tsubaki patted her bed once again. "Just sit down."

Black*Star halted. Eyes fixated on the spot her hand patted. He gave in and sat down beside her, resting his elbows on his knees as he ran his fingers through his hair frustratingly. "I just… I just can't handle hearing Maka crying anymore."

Tsubaki rubbed her meister's back, knowing all too well his feelings. Every time he answered the phone and Maka or Stein would report to them about Soul's health, his eyes would sadden. Lip strained but his voice cheerful and his usual self, but he was far from it. He was hurting for his childhood friend and brother from another mother. He wasn't the only one. She was hurting for her dear friends, but she had to swallow her sorrow in order to comfort her meister. They were meister and weapon, they lived a life knowing their friends could die in battle at any day, but what Soul was going through was torture. It was as if they were slowly being cut by a dull knife for every unsuccessful city they visited and every false trail of Free. It was painful and strained their sanity. Any day and Soul could be gone and they would return to a heartbroken Maka. Out of all the missions they failed, this one just had to be successful.

"We're going to find him. If we find the witch Eureka, we'll find him too."

"But where the fuck are they? Every lead we get turns out false."

A smile spread on Tsubaki's face. "Free must be with a witch and how do you catch a witch?"

"Um… getting a broom?"

"No, why not get a witch to hunt her? We're failing to find them with track star, so why not change things up and see if a witch could find them?"

"Holy shit, Tsubaki! That's fucking genius!" Black*Star bounced up from the bed, wearing a large grin on his face. "Maybe even more genius than Maka!"

Tsubaki giggled as she watched the irritation and frustration turn into energy and glee, excitement toward the new method. Hopefully they wouldn't let them down.

"Will you stop it?" Soul breathed heavily, feeling anxious at Maka's back and forth pacing by the phone. "Why don't you sit down and finish your meal. You haven't been eating well."

"No." Maka shakes her head as she continuous to pace back and forth by the phone. "The phone will ring― any minute now will they finally call―"

"Maka." He interrupted her and she finally halted her steps. "Eat. Just because I can't doesn't mean you shouldn't." Soul gestured toward her barely touched cup of noodles.

"But what if I miss the call? I― we can't afford that."

"You couldn't miss the call even if you were across the world. Not with your nerves and hearing." He gestured again toward her cup. "Now eat before you pass out."

She wavered on the spot, weighing the pros and cons carefully, but eventually she gave in to his words and took her seat by his bed. She grabbed the now cold cup of noodles and started eating. Not as appetizing anymore now when it was cold, but it did fill her growling stomach.

No words were needed. He knew he must look terrible. The past couple of months of her waiting by the phone had turned worse alongside his health. The first snow had fallen and New Year's Eve would be just around the corner along with his death. Time was running out for him and Maka wasn't able to cope with it. She was breaking, the fantasy she had rocked herself in was cracking and falling apart, and she was frightened. More frightened than him.

He watched her slurp her noodles up. Gosh, it had been over three years since he ate something solid. He had really hoped he would've been able to eat a cheeseburger just one more time before the sand ran out. The world was cruel.

"Come here." he said after Maka had finished her noodles and put her cup away. Without any protest she crawled into his bed and snuggled close to him, resting her head against his chest and hand resting on his now bony ribcage.

He could fall off the face of the earth at any given moment. He felt barely a quarter of the energy he had and his bones were sore and his liver was starting to act up, signs that only proved his time was up. He was going to die. Before he fell into the gutter, there were some things he needed to take care of.

"Did you pick up the student's exams and the answer sheet?" he asked as he rubbed her back.

She shook her head.

"I thought you would go and get them when Wes and mom were keeping an eye on me. What happened?"

"I told Nygus I couldn't do it anymore."

"Maka―"

"No, Soul, I can't― I just can't do this now when you are so ill. I can't work knowing you're home struggling with your sickness. I― I just can't."

This was what he was afraid of. Her quitting living because of him. His life was falling apart and he was taking her down with him, he couldn't allow it. "You should call her back and say you changed your mind."

"No, I―"

"Please," she looked up and stared at him with her teary eyes. So many tears she had shed because of him. It was cruel. "I don't want your life to unravel because of me."

Her eyes seemingly softened and she started to shake her head slowly. "I can't go and work even if it is just for an hour, I'm always worrying to death about you. I can't focus. I don't want to leave you."

He had arrived at the most difficult part of the conversation and it killed him just thinking the words he was about to say. "Maka… I'm dying―"

Immediately the tears she had been holding back streamed down her face and she shook her head madly as if it could shake away the words that left his mouth. "We don't know that. You're going to be better―"

"You can't deny it." He cupped her hand and guided her fingers over his shirt where his bony ribcage hid, forcing her to feel the dip of the valley and the rise of the bone. "I'm bones and skin. My bones are constantly sore and my liver is giving in. I'm at the end of my rope."

She sobbed, buried her face in his neck. "You're just a little sick. You'll get better, you survived at the cabin, you can survive this. You're not going to die."

"Look at me." She didn't. He brushed away her pigtail and cupped her cheek, thumb brushing her cheek. "Please, look at me." Reluctantly she looked up from the comfort of his neck. "Please, Maka, acknowledge it. The transplant will never come. They won't find Free. The little strength I have won't last long. I'm going to die."

"You cheated death once, you can do it again—"

"No Maka." He shook his head. "I'm tired. I'm so tired all the time and I can barely keep my eyes open for two hours straight. I fall asleep when we have company—"

"And all our friends and family are fine with it."

"It's not okay. I can't sit up anymore. I can't even move my own arms without risking breaking a bone. I can't even do the simplest task of being social and awake when people visit us." He brushed away her tears falling from her impossible green eyes. "This is the end. I'm so sorry I couldn't do more for you."

"Don't say that." she hiccupped and laid her hands on his. "You loved me and that's more than I could've ever asked for."

"But I couldn't give you more time with me. I just hoped my body would hold together long enough for us to get ourselves on our feet and get married and create our own family before things would go down in the dumpster."

"It's not too late." Maka slide her hand from his and ran her hand through his hair, bringing his forehead to hers. "I can get a judge here and we can get married. My father even gave us his blessing. We can still get married."

Soul shook his head lightly not to accidentally hurt her or move away from her comforting touch. "It's too late." he whispered. "I'm not going to marry you and then leave you a week later as a widow. I don't want to break your heart like that."

"I'm still going to be as hurt when you—" she choked on the word "… when time runs out. This is about you. I'm more than willing to get married, I love you more than anything. I want to make all your dreams come true. I want you to be happy."

"You will do anything I want?" he tiredly whispered, feeling fatigue weighing him down.

"Anything you want is yours."

"There is something I want." He licked his dry lips. "What I want… I want you to go to work— I'm not finished." Soul added when Maka visibly grimaced. "I want you to hang out with our friends without me. My final wish is when I die, I want you to forget me."

"Soul!" Maka's eyes widened with fear and realization.

"You will forget me as if I never existed. As if we were never partners or lovers. I want you to move on, date other guys and fall in love, not ever thinking twice about me."

"You can't be serious!" Maka shrieked and pulled away from him. "I can't do that! I'm not going to pretend everything is okay when it isn't and I'm not going to pretend like you were never a huge part of my life."

"It's for your own good." He grabbed her hand and his thumb ran over her knuckles. Tears were revived and trickled down her cheeks. How he would want to steal all her sorrow and wipe her memory clean of him. Then she would've never been hurt by him. She would've met some preppy dude she could've matched better with and the most important thing is, he would've been healthy. The dude wouldn't have been a decaying body just waiting to die. "I don't want my death to ruin you."

"I was already set up for failure the moment I realized I was in love with you!" She crumbled and buried her face in his chest, every sob shaking her body. "I will never love again. I'm never going to love anyone except you."

"I don't want that for you." With a weak shaky hand, he placed it on her head and soothingly ran it through her loose hair. "I want you to be happy. I want you to fulfil your dreams and get married and have kids and all that. I don't want to be the reason for you crashing and burning and never fulfilling your dreams. I will always love you and I want you to know I will never hold it against you for finding a new love. You won't have to feel guilty."

"I'm not going to find someone else. Period." Her hand fisted his shirt. "You will forever be my one and only love. When the time comes, I'll come and find you in the afterlife and I'm going to strangle you for even suggesting such a foolish thing."

"Why wait when you can do it now?" He couldn't help but chuckle which he soon regretted. He moaned out in pain at the sharp jab at his lower region. "Fuck!" he exclaimed and immediately the tears were gone and Maka shot up from him.

"What's wrong?" Her gaze worriedly ran over his clenched fist above his lower belly. "Is it normal pain? Do you want some morphine?"

He shook his head and gritted his teeth, withering in pain. "Call Stein. Oh fuck, get him here quickly!"

Maka catapulted from his bed and snatched the phone, hands trembling as she dialled Stein's number. The dial tone barely had ended when she sputtered words. "Get here immediately! Soul's intestines are acting up majorly!" she hung up and grabbed a hold of Soul's shoulders, trying to keep him down on the bed so he wouldn't hurt himself further.

"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" he chanted.

"Stein is on his way, just hold on Soul, I'm not going to let you die just yet!"