Hey there guys. I just got a response from one of my other friends, but I think the story will do all the talking really. So please be prepared to meet up with my surprise later on. For now we will meet our heroes as quickly as possible, but I would like to inform you that my chapters will always contain at least 1000 words. This a story about comedy, comedy really is the big genre here, but there is adventure. For now it is based around our two schmucks now. Chapters may contain more words than usual, because I am generous so be grateful you little schmucks you! ENJOY. Btw there will be a music scene involved with action, so please look copy this

watch?v=U_9kEOmTdDs

watch?v=nU1VfYYKMDk

Also I do not own the music nor do I own the videos.

Cap and Arita walked out of Spaceys and decided that they had eaten, more like Capn ate everything, including half the plate, enough. As Arita climbed aboard the ship's docking bay a loud shuffling of feet was heard as the robotic nerdy cashier came out, running at them. "HEY! GET BACK HERE! YOU TWO DIDN'T PAY FOR THE FOOD!"

"Oh shit! ARITA! Start the engines!" Cap yelled and jumping into the ship's bay before it closed off. The Inquisitor hummed before a wave of fire burst from the engines, the ship hovering before rotating to the left and blasting off into space. "DAMN YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU," the cashier yelled out, tossing his hat to the floor and kicked it around in fury at the loss of his money, and possibly his job.

Back on the Ship

"So why didn't we pay that guy?" Arita asked with curiosity, not really sad that he did it, but just curious. Usually they paid whenever they went to Spaceys, but this was possibly the first time they've ever done something bad there.

"We don't have money, and we're criminals. Plus we do worse shit all the time, and we won't live long enough anyways. That job of ours almost got us killed a lot," Cap said, now reading his VINTAGE porn mags again and giggling while he walked away to do his…business. Arita didn't do anything but kept driving until he widened his eyes.

"Wait did he just say something smart? CAP DID YOU JUST SAY SOMETHING SMART?!" Arita asked in disbelief at what he had just heard. "Porno!" A grunt was heard from the other room as Arita gave a sigh of relief. "Oh thank god. God only knows what would happen if he became smart…God help us all." Arita said with fear in his voice. His ghost came online and floated around his head before displaying a map of planets in the system. "Mars shouldn't be too far away. The trip will take an hour at most," he said with an excited tone in his voice.

A loud set of banging came from the room that Capn went into. "Oh god I might be dead by then," he said with pain in his voice.

One Hour of Torture Later

Arita piloted the ship in Mars' atmosphere, placing his Ram on and his Kellbreaker's cloak as usual. He stretched his arms and patted his once fallen arm in place. They had gone to a mechanic which wasn't very far, but god damn that cost him a lot of money. "Cap fetch the key to the armory!" He was tossed a key from his friend who held the same piece of gear, but for titans. He had that saint helmet on and was stretching as well. "Alright guns. Daddy's back." He said in an excited tone before following the ship's left hull to a large door that was locked. He placed the key in and a series of locks were heard dropping to the floor, guns disarming, and a large growling sound silenced. The doors opened and Arita and Capn smiled beneath their helmets. "Oh baby!" Capn shouted, running through the doors.

Capn returned with a Fourth Horseman and a Gjallahorn strapped to his back. He smiled before pulling out The Last Word and laughed darkly before placing a clip into the slot of the Hand Cannon. Arita stepped in as well before returning with two hand cannons strapped behind his waist. He had a Thorn and a Hawkmoon both strapped behind his waist, a Gjallahorn as well. Now unlike most guardians, Arita was a dual pistols kind of Exo. If anything, Arita was the only guardian who ever held two hand cannons before, and was possibly the only gunslinger with the skills to use them. Even as a Warlock he was good with it. "Let's ride." He said, going to the hangar bay and bringing out their palms, summoning the ghosts.

"What do you want, Cap?!" An excited ghost said, flying around everywhere while Arita's just batted an eye in response as a hello, gears turning slightly. "Ride?" He asked the Warlock who smiled beneath his helm and nodded. "You got it boss and boss!" The excited ghost said, bringing forth a Sparrow from the realm of nowhere.

Arita's also summoned his sparrow as well, both of the sparrows floating above ground by a few inches. Arita's sparrow had a red paintjob with gold linings and two black stripes along the two front panels. Capn's was a white sparrow painted in a bloody fashion and had the words, Badass, written into the side of the Sparrow.

Mars Ground Level

Two sparrows flew across the sands of Mars, passing by rocks of all shapes and sizes and knocking over a few stray guardians by accident. One was walking before a sparrow knocking him over and into a rock, an audible crack heard as well. Both of the sparrows dashed across the sands, dodging right to the left from the obstacles that lay before them and heading straight towards a cliff. "Bet I can make a more badass landing than you could!" Capn challenged, going full throttle and flying off the cliff before an explosion occurred and the Titan was sent straight into the ground, falling into the sand before coming across a rock and grabbing onto it for support.

Arita narrowed his optics beneath his helmet and drove off as well, jumping off his sparrow as it also blew up into parts and pieces, Arita landing with a teleport and slamming the ground, sand flying everywhere. "You were right. That was a better landing," Arita said, pulling out both his hand cannons and loading them up.

The Titan soon climbed back to his feet and dusted off any sand caught in his armor. When they both looked in opposite directions they noticed quite the mess they had stepped into. On Cap's side there were forty three Cabal soldiers, each holding a respectable weapon in hand and aiming their weapons at Cap who pulled out his Shotgun and loading the rounds into it. Arita was met with at least fifty seven vex infantry, along with a Minotaur at the back. They pulled up their guns and aimed at Arita.

"Cue the music?" Capn asked, smiling beneath his helmet with a maniacal grin. He moved his feet slightly, the cabal moving around in a spread out position to possibly catch the guardian off guard. There were a few other bodies, but it seemed they had stopped a fight and decided that killing two guardians would be for the best. Apparently the vex thought logically as well and decided to act as well.

"Cue the music, ghost." Arita said, his ghost appearing from his side and flying higher before broadcasting a song throughout the field of battle.

((Cue Music that was at the top plz))

Capn smiled before charging headfirst into a line of gunfire, skillfully dodging each one before taking flight into the air and bringing his kneecaps into the head of an unfortunate cabal whose head was knocked clean off, helmet crushed beneath the strength of the knee. His rifle arm accidently blasting off four stray shots that killed two cabals and blasting right arm of one cabal as well. He smiled and took aim, cabal running towards him, and fired off three quick shots into the chests of unfortunate cabal who slammed into each other form the impact of the gun. They fell to the ground and Cap immediately began slamming his fists into the unfortunate cabal, even gripping one's fist and slamming his head into the helmet of a cabal, breaking through and shoving the barrel of his Horseman into the mouth of the cabal as it widened its eyes at the gun now in its mouth.

"Bang, bang mother fucker!" Cap shouted, and a large splash of blue covered the sands. More cabal began charging straight at the titan, hoping to clobber him into paste.

((Cue this music for Arita.))

Arita walked through the sand, brushing his cloak aside to reveal his guns from behind his waist. He pulled out both of his guns, spinning each one in hand and walking slowly towards the herd of vex that aimed their guns. Three vex with heavy void weaponry began to charge before,

BANG! BANG! BANG!

The very same vex found their guns were blown off as they were charging, also causing a large explosion to occur, blowing up at least seven or more vex with each of the explosions. Arita smirked and spun his guns in hand before taking aim and firing off shot after shot. A thorn found its way into a cabal's chest, instantly smashing it into pieces, parts flying into the sand. The Hawkmoon aimed its gun at seven vex who began firing a sequence of shots that Arita nimbly dodged and took care of them. "Like shooting fish in a bucket, bitch!" Arita said, holstering one gun before tossing out a void grenade into a main section of the herd of firing robots that instantly shot at Arita who fired his Thorn back, taking out a few but not before ducking beneath a large piece of stone.

The void grenade's tendrils slipped out and smashed into nearby vex, disintegrating their bodies into nothing but atoms and dust, sending them straight to the void. Arita stepped out of his rock and began running towards the herd of vex, blasting apart each one with precision that matched that of a sniper. He smashed the barrel of his Hawkmoon into the chest of one of the beings, blasting it repeatedly before it ran out of ammo. He quickly smashed the barrel into a vex head, sending it flying. He quickly teleported into the air, reloading his Hawkmoon before closing it. He jumped over a rock and landed next to Cap who had taken down at least thirty cabal. "What's your, DIE, kill count?!" Cap asked, smashing the butt of his gun into a running cabal. Arita smirked at his friend. "Twenty seven. You?" He asked, blasting a thorn into the head of a Vex and slamming his palm into its running body, destroying it completely. "Thirty one," the Titan said, smiling.

"Time to end it?" Arita said, charging his right hand with all the void energy mustered.

"Combo?" Cap asked, his fists soon charging with a load of electricity coursing through his servos. "Yep!" Arita said, jumping onto a rock and teleporting into the air and using the height he had gained to fly high, activating glide while getting rid of his blink. Capn flew to the same height as vex and cabal gathered, forming their numbers to mix. A hail fire of void and solar shot up into the air, blasting apart the skies. "FIRE!" Capn yelled, leaping straight down into the field while Arita's hand threw a large orb of void that followed through. The Titan was caught in the void but somehow used it flew down, VOID and ARC both working together, and creating a shockwave that caused a crater and a massive explosion of dust, robot parts, and blue blood and cabal bodies to fly. Arita landed down with glide to a cabal body whose body was half gone, the side of it anyway, as blue blood leaked from its missing side. "Well there we go. Dinner man! I'll grab the grill, you grab the bodies!" Capn said, running back to the ship to fetch the grill.

"GET THE KNIFE AS WELL! THE VERY BIG ONE!" Arita called out, stepping off the dead body and pulling a fresh, and full, dead one from another part of the crater and onto the slope.

Vanguard Tower

"I believe I have a solution to fetch our rogue guardians. He is an elite, specially trained in our most advanced arts, and trained to be the ultimate Warlock. I hope he meets your requirements," Ikora Rey said, a warlock coming through the door with Light Beyond Nemesis covering his head. He had the Lord of Wolves strapped to his back and looked at the Titan vanguard who looked pleased. "He has also had encounters with them. I believe he will do nicely," she added in, smiling with pride.

"What's my mission, sir?" He asked, a more awoken like voice in his tone. "You will be capturing two rogue guardians and are to bring them back. You've had a history, as I hear, and I believe you will be the perfect candidate to find them." He said, showing Arita's and Capn's mug shots.

The calm Warlock soon fell to the ground on his knees, grabbing his helmet in pain. "No…no...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO," he yelled out into the air.

"Oh Agent IronWolf why?" Ikora said, groaning in frustration and closing her ears from the sound.

That is right guys! My friend IronWolf, or aka on PS3 , iRonWolfZz_935, is joining my story as well. I hope you like it man! If you want to add him or tell him to give me any ideas, it would be helpful. But please, if you plan on being rude or sending insults to my friends I won't be very pleased by that. I hope you enjoyed the story! Goodnight Detroit! I MEAN AMURICA!