Chapter 3 Haunting Thoughts, Pervading Memories

Sorora wished that the burning tears would just come instead of burning the backs of her eyes. She was just calling him that just to tease. She didn't think she could hit a nerve by calling him that. He just had to bring up one of her deepest secrets and wounds, and throw salt in it. She stopped and panted for a minute, laying her books on the floor beside her. She decided a run would serve her well that night. It would certainly clear her thoughts of any old wounds. She was hungry, so she decided to go get dinner and then leave when the sun went down. But then maybe "Snivellus" would follow her and get hurt. Not by her, but by another creature that would happen to run the same forest path…

None other than Severus Snape approached her, and he seemed quite restless. He paused for a minute, and asked, "Can I walk with you to dinner?"

"As long as no stupid wisecracks escape from your mouth to me…then you may walk with me," She replied without emotion.

"Look, this is hard for me to tell you, but…"

"But, what?"

"But I apologize for making you feel horrid."

"What you did to me, I may never forgive you for. I lost my father because of your fear and loathing. I lost my friend and my safety. I lost one of the few people left that care for me," She said, her face turned away. Her face was turned away because of a few stray tears that piled in her silver hair.

"I did it because I had made a promise to Narcissa Malfoy…"

"In doing so, you caused me a chain of painful memories. I kept seeing his face, dying in my mind over and over again. I was looking at those awful muggle drugs staring at me in my medicine cabinet, and I almost downed the whole bottle, had there not been a voice in my head that day to stop me," She said, biting her tongue, and drawing salty blood along with it.

This gave Snape an awful idea for revenge. So he just walked away.

And left her to get dinner, and run through the Forbidden Forest…

Dinner was just a bowl of onion soup, and served her well for that evening She stopped at her quarters, and shed her clothing on the couch. She pulled one small duffle bag from her luggage, and stuffed the clothing in there. Then she opened the window to feel the wind against her body.

She began to change her form, the bones slowly crunching and realigning to form the skeletal system of the Lionex. Then, a wolf like tail grew from the bones and muscles that had realigned. Skin covered the muscle and bone, and a thick pelt of red sprung from the skin that had just appeared. The fur was the color of blood, but shimmered and turned to silver, like a wolf's pelt often does in the moonlight. Most of her body was now leonine, but parts of her body were distinctively wolf. Her eyes were golden, and slitted like a cat's, but her ears were wolfen. Finally, a set of red and gold wings sprang from her back, ending the short transformation. As her eyes adjusted, her vision had increased tenfold, and her hearing was now so acute that she could hear the mice in the walls of Hogwarts scrambling about in search for crumbs that the students left behind. She was one of the strongest animals known to wizard kind, and had only just been discovered. The Lionex was a predator animal so close to being perfect, that it was one of the rarest creatures because everyone wanted an animal like the Lionex. She was the only person that had ever mastered the transformation. All those that had tried to master the magic of this animal could not return to human form after they tried it. Some were even hunted down; which was why she kept her ability a secret until now.

This thinking had led her back to her memories, a dangerous world without the anti-depressants to keep her on safe ground. But she had left them in her medicine cabinet in America, because she couldn't visit her mother like that. She was addicted; and she needed help, but was afraid to ask for it from anyone other than her father. Which was one reason why she had returned from America; now she wondered how would she rid herself of that problem…

A run would definitely do her some good. No secret love for her father's murderer to hunt her down and attempt to follow her. So she did…she ran past all the trees of the forbidden forest, and into a clearing, where a great waterfall stood gurgling ahead. It was here that she stopped to change back and rest.

She decided to jump in. Lord, it might be cold, but she was ready for a wake up. With little apprehension, she struck the water with naught a sign that she had jumped in, and shivered slightly. Then, she went under…to douse her thoughts with cold...

"White lilies…All I have to remember Tariana, were white lilies…

'I'm so sorry Sorora. You did your best in the given situation,' Meron said with a light tap on my shoulder. I shoved his arm away, and walked to the casket after all Tariana's relatives had left. The rain poured down, as though the angels themselves were weeping for her loss as much as we were now.

'Try owning the hand that dealt the final blow to your best friend,' I said with bitter reminiscence of the stake of silver that ended her life. I rubbed my arms gently up and down. A part of the black cloak I was wearing showed fresh scratches running up and down my arm, one a very large, stitched cut. Meron frowned.

'Nobody blames you or her. It was an accident; she just got too carried away. You did the right thing in killing her, and she would not blame you for it. You should get some help; those look like they are bad…'

'I need no help,' I said, and started to growl, low in my throat. He backed away.

'Yes you do…' This was all I could take…"

"NOOOOO!" She roared, returning to the surface panting. The water was clear and deep, as little shockwaves rippled the calm water.

Then she was pulled back down to the depths of black insanity. She struggled against whatever was bringing her down again, and was not succeeding. "RELEVO!" she shouted in her mind. The creature laughed, still dragging her down. She changed, and spread her wings to pull against the creature, but more appeared, and held down her wings. She began to see her life flash before her eyes, when she thrust herself forward. Gripping the ground with powerful paws, she dug her talons into the ground, slipping back. The creatures grew angry and pulled her harder. She was now about to give up, when she changed back, and closed her eyes. So, this is what death feels like? She thought with a cynical chuckle. I just hope they have hot-spring spas where I am going.

Then a hand grasped her scruff of her neck, and jerked her back violently, out of the water and the clutches of the Grindilows.

"Damn you woman! Are you daft? You could have killed yourself, as a matter of fact, you almost did! Those were Grindilows; they live in deep pools of water! Why did you do that?" A normally dark, silky voice said, which was now furious and enraged.

She coughed up mouthfuls of water, and retched. Between fits of spasms, she spoke and shivered. "Thank you for your concern, but I had it under control."

"That is a load of bloody poppycock! You almost drowned, had I not been here to snatch you from the jaws of death!"

"I apologize if I was an interruption to your nightly stroll, Professor," She said, wiping her mouth with the end of her soaked cloak. His eyes were merciless almonds of coal, as he looked into her frost blue eyes.

"Who the devil are you, that you are following me? My mother?"

"Bloody well I did, or you would be lying underneath that pool, food for the Grindilows," He said, pulling his cloak off, and pulling it across her. She shivered, not sure how to make her gratitude known. He took out his wand and set a blue flame to a nearby stick, then sat down to sulk.

"I'm sorry; I am just upset; things have been difficult, and I don't know how to handle it," She said, and pulled the cloak closer to her body.

He said nothing, but picked her up and extinguished the flame. She shivered again, and sneezed. " Let's go; I would like to get back before sunup." Silently, she followed him with indignity.