Hello, Goodbye, & Forever

By angelwings1

Chapter 4: Between Glass Panes

Very few had ever gone pass the outskirts of Soul Society. Only the strongest of Shinigamis had left the city's protection and ventured the afterlife's wilderness. No one knew, except maybe for Central 46, how far it reaches stretched. There were whispers, but no certainty. The wandering souls within the city would stare at the horizon beyond the building. Eyes wide with hearts racing, they wondered, but didn't dare investigate. They were already bound by the power of the captains to the law of the society. If they could not stand against their rule, how could the weak hope to survive the place where some of the strong did not return. Besides, the afterlife was already frightening and confusing for the newly dead. They were too dependent, emotionally and physically, on the society to embark into the edges of the spiritual realm.

He personally had never gone past the invisible line of the city. He never had a reason. When he had first entered Soul Society, it had been only to save his friend. He had only returned afterwards for similar reason of heroism. The mysterious horizon had never tempted his curiosity. It looked like any horizon he had seen back in the living realm.

Three weeks ago was when he had finally taken note of the line separating the city from the unclaimed land. He wondered what was beyond the buildings that kept the souls at bay. Hollows roamed for stragglers, he knew, but it was normally weaker masks, not Menos. It worried him that the noble families, some of the strongest Shinigamis, refused to stake homes out in the vast fields and forest beyond the city. He didn't understand what the line signified. Why did the line mark twenty miles beyond the central wall? Why did only the strong students of the academy cross the line? More importantly, why did thirteen divisions constantly need to patrol the line?

Three weeks ago, he became afraid of the line. Three weeks ago, Rukia Kuchiki crossed it. He hadn't seen her since.

For two days, he kept to his promise. He went to his classes, did his homework and chores, and attended personal lessons under Captain Ukitake. He focused on his studies and spent his free time with Renji. He didn't think about what she was doing or what dangers were lurking behind her back. The phrase 'she's the third-seat of your division' kept repeating in his head.

On day three, he broke his promise. He left the school, went to the outskirts, and toed the line. He didn't cross it, but he glared openly at the horizon. He searched the palette of earthy hues, but he didn't spot her. The sky shifted and the sun began to set. His scowl deepened when the golden belly brushed the treetops. Once the sun disappeared completely and the sky cooled to purple and blue, he became frustrated.

"She'll come," he whispered darkly. "She won't fail."

Midnight hit and Renji finally made his appearance. Ichigio's brown eyes snapped to his friend. The red head was not at all surprised to see a glare directed at him. He sauntered over, not the least bit hurried. He dragged his feet. "You didn't go to class."

"I know more than half my classmates," Ichigio retorted.

Renji shook his head. "You promised you would go to class."

Ichigio shuffled. "She promised to come back in three days."

"She promised to come back with Bankai," Renji replied firmly. "She hasn't come back because she hasn't found her Bankai."

"Impossible. Rukia has been ready for Bankai back during the Winter War. She couldn't have failed."

"She hasn't failed yet. When she comes back without Bankai, then she will have failed." Renji stated wearily.

Ichigio floundered. "She had three days. Her test is over."

Renji shrugged. "Not exactly. Some tests take longer. Each test is determined by the soul of the sword. The soul of the sword is actually the judge of releasing the power from within. Each new level of power is discovered by a shinigami because the have proven to their sword that they are ready for the next level. Bankai is the highest achievement of a shinigami. It proves that the wielder and the sword are intertwined spiritually. It is not the wielder, or the Shinigamis, that determine the standards of the test. It is the sword, and each sword is different."

When he saw his friend staring at him incredulously, Renji rolled his eyes. "Okay, think about it this way. You found Bankai in three days because you had no time. You were motivated to save a love one."

Ichigio nodded silently. His eyes continued to search the deepening blackness as he listened.

"Your power flares to life when a person you want to protect is endangered. Your sword—"

"Zangetsu."

"Zangetsu knew this. He also knew you were already pushing yourself to save her, but he needed to push you even further. Time constraint was the test he decided because it gave you one shot to save her. He knew if you only had one shot then your resolve would push you over the line because of your determination to save her.

"I believe it is motivation that determines the rules of the test. I reached Bankai when I sought to save Rukia. It was motivation to save her that allowed me to take the test. For years, I had tried to take the test, but Zabimaru wouldn't let me. He kept saying that I was looking down the wrong road, but the right destination. I never understood. I despised my sword for it. When Rukia's execution was announced, everything changed. I went to Zabimaru again and he allowed me to taker it. He said I had found the road. Zab reminded me that I had always wanted power because of Byakuya."

Ichigio grunted. "Byakuya?"

Renji closed his eyes, remember the first day he had seen the noble. "He took Rukia away. He broke our friendship. He was the reason for destroying our once unshakeable bond. After he adopted Rukia, I had strove only to defeat him. I wanted to take her back.

"But with the years, I grew farther from Rukia, and I began to think of beating him for simply glory, not to save our friendship. I forgot how I had reached lieutenant or why I chose her brother's division over the other twelve. I grew cruel at heart and I lost sense. When Byakuya and I were sent to retrieve Rukia from the human world, I had lost so much by then.

"That's why Zab kept me from the test. He wanted me to remember what I was walking towards. He wanted me to remember the person who had shaped my life."

Ichigio studied his friend's profile. With every word, his chest had tightened. He knew his girlfriend connected to a lot of people. Byakuya, Kaien, Renji, Ukitake, Hisana, Orihime… There was a line of them indebted to her in some way. It made him wonder how he was fortunate enough to earn his relationship to her. He also wondered what could make him keep a place at her side.

Renji somberly opened his eyes. A flash of moonlight caught the man's face, and Ichigio thought he saw something dark enter his friend's expression. "I can't really imagine what test Rukia is going through. She was never the best in the academy, but during the time you showed up (before the Winter War) she progressed rapidly. Even with all the levels she gained, she never reached Bankai. She fought to protect everyone, but something held her back from gaining that one strength."

Renji ran his thumb along the hilt of his sword. He considered his own Bankai, remembering how it had felt to finally acquire it. "Rukia doesn't believe she can achieve Bankai. She might even feel like she doesn't deserve it."

Ichigio's scowl softened. "I thought she was past all that. She seemed to be improving. She became lieutenant."

"By Ukitake's insistence," Renji stated, surprising him. "He went against Byakuya's orders to keep Rukia out of the seat and asked her to be his lieutenant. For a decade, he asked her to take the position, but she refused time and again."

"Why?"

"Not sure. Only Ukitake knows and I've never asked him. It's hardly my place to talk to her captain when it's not my division. I asked Rukia about it. She brushed me off."

Ichigio's chest tightened again. "You think it was because of Kaien?"

Renji shrugged. "Maybe. She doesn't talk about Kaien. That could be it."

Ichigio didn't want to think of Kaien. It opened too many thoughts. "…But she eventually took Ukitake's offer. She became lieutenant and filled Kaien's empty position. Ukitake must have convinced her."

"Actually I think it was Byakuya."

"Byakuya?" Ichigio was shocked. He never dreamed the captain would ever reverse his decision to keep Rukia out of a high seat. Though reserved, the man was protective of his adopted sister.

"I'm not sure what Captain said to her, but Rukia had again refused the seat for tenth year, he called her to his office. They spoke for a close to an hour. The following morning, Rukia accepted the position."

"Strange," Ichigio mumbled. Byakuya didn't want Rukia to be lieutenant due to the mass amount of field duty. He wanted to keep her locked away in the safe walls of Soul Society. Ichigio couldn't see a reason why the captain would drastically change his decision. Soul Society had quieted since Aizen, but there was still the regular danger of hollows and Menos Noches. There were still reasons to keep her in the lower seats. What could force his hand otherwise?

Renji swiveled on his heel and gave his friend a long look. Ichigio wasn't sure what his gaze was supposed to translate, but it fell heavy on him. "There's no telling when she'll be back. Her training could take weeks, months. But I do know they both can't stay away too long. They still have duties back here."

"How long you figure…till he forces her to return?" Ichigio thought of the man who had accompanied her on his training. He didn't like her being alone with him, let alone any male. He especially didn't like how the man was able to spend this private time with her while he, her boyfriend, was forbidden to attend her training.

"In a month, there's supposed to be a meeting involving the captains and Central 46. He'll force her to come a few days before so he can prepare." Renji's voice hardened. "What I'm worried about is that she will return without Bankai. I don't know what defeat will to do to her."

Ichigio thought of her returning. He could almost see her short stature and dark hair. Then, he thought of her guilt filled eyes and how her chin would drop in shame. Renji watched Ichigio consider his next words. "She has never cared about rank, or even training, all that much. She's only trained seriously during Aizen's war, but never tried for Bankai. Taking the test now means that she's beginning to care.

"I always believed she has been strong enough to gain Bankai. Her problem is that she doesn't believe she deserves it. If she comes back without…" His voice trailed off into the cool night.

Ichigio knew exactly what words his friend was frightened to speak aloud. 'If she comes back without Bankai, then she'll believe she never deserved it…or anything.'

[88888]

Ichigio's aching fingers tugged down on his hood. The cloak fought against him, choosing instead to bellow with the icy wind and expose his vibrant hair to the gray world. Champing his teeth, he forced it low enough to obscure his view of the road. He didn't care. The road had long since been covered by the howling blizzard. He could barely make out the line that separated the cloudy sky and the snowy ground. Instead, he focused on the spiritual ribbons burning bright red in his mind's eye.

As the wind roared in his ears and his cloak flapped almost useless behind him, the ribbon remained limp along the snowy crest. It beckoned his every step, telling him there was an end to his frustration.

Every step was a fight to keep aloft. The snow was as high as his waist and too soft for walking atop. He had to dig his way through the field. As his boots sank deep into the lower levels, his heels struggled to find stable foundation. When he was able to take a decent step forward, the wind pounded against his chest and broad shoulders, trying to tip him backwards.

Ichigio growled angrily when the snow refused to free his back heel. He tugged and felt the snow crumble. He took another step, but soon found his other foot trapped. Panting from exertion, he glared at the snow. How far had he gotten in the last hour? A mile? Half? It was probably closer to twenty yards. The procession was consuming.

'She's dead. She's dead. She's dead. She's dead.' His mind chanted in rhythm of his breaths. He had been silently repeating the phrase since yesterday when he left the comfort of his bed back in Soul Society, but it had only been he had hit the blizzard did he chant the phrase with bold promise instead of initial concern.

His joints, which were full of ice splinters, groaned as he took another fumbled step. As he swayed on his pain riddled knees, the wind roared at his small success. Ichigio twisted his arm in his cloak and wrapped the cloth tighter around his body. The wind was too cold to keep out with the thin material. If he had known that he would be walking through a blizzard, he would have brought a parka. Unfortunately, his last adventurous journey had been through the hot desert of Menos Noches, and had subconsciously prepared for blistering temperature. Whenever he returned to the Society, Renji would have a field day laughing over his foolishness.

Return. That moment seemed forever away. Thinking about his warm dormitory suddenly made the air colder. He tightened his jaw to keep his teeth from chattering. Curse his girlfriend for hiding in a snowstorm. She must been seeking out her element.

Groaning, he leaned over and drove his free hand into the soft white. One, two, three, four, five, another step. She's dead. She's dead. One, two. She's dead. Three, four. She's dead. Five, another step. She's dead.

Something stirred on the edge of his awareness. He could feel an aura. Slowly, he straightened. He hadn't run into anything in hours. The blizzard had pushed back the hollows and trekking Shinigamis. He had been the lone wander in this frigid plane of existence. He peeked beneath the lip of his hood. There was another shift of power across the field. Ichigio struggled to pinpoint the source. It was hard to concentrate in the bad weather.

Ichigio unconsciously settled down onto his knees within the drift. Leveling his eyes with the top of the snow bank, his shoulders dropped out of rushing air. His body reveled in the sudden warmth of his ditch. It wasn't a furnace, but there was definite warmth from escaping the wind. He pressed his chest into the wall in front of him, trying to hide even more. He had vaguely remembered a tidbit about sled dogs burying themselves at night in the snow to keep warm. Though a cold element, the snow acted as a buffer from the windshield factor. He wrapped his cloak around his legs. Once settled, he peeked over the top of the snow.

It wasn't long before the aura brushed his mind again. Ichigio straighten. The source was clearer then before in his head. He could almost see a faint pink glow coming from the west. Getting out of the cold had helped. Ichigio smirked, pleased with himself. Soon, however, the smirk dropped as he watched the pink glow grow a rich red. It wasn't his resourcefulness that had helped. The person was getting closer. They were heading straight for him.

They were still a good ways off, but Ichigio reached for his sword. He couldn't be sure if the aura was friendly or not. It was red so it was a shinigami, but years of fighting had made him careful. His numb fingers barely registered the texture of his cloth wrapped hilt.

His eyes carefully adjusted his vision and the aura faded against the whirling gray and white backdrop to reveal a black smudge. His brown eyes narrowed, watching the smudge shift and take shape. Ichigio soon distinguished white hair from whirling snow. Ichigio grinned. He had found them, or at least, her instructor.

Ichigio didn't rise from his ditch. By the direction he was headed, Ichigio knew the captain had already discovered his location. He decided it would be better to stay in the snow and offer the man the warmth of his ditch.

Ichigio frowned when he realized the man wasn't digging his way through the snow. He was easily walking across the surface as if the drifts were thick asphalt.

Ichigio grumbled a cruse. He had been digging for hours while the man had crossed ten times his distance in mere minutes. Upon reaching him, the captain's cool eyes met the younger shinigami's brown ones. Ichigio nodded. The captain knew why he was there. Everyone back in the city probably knew why he was crossing frozen wasteland. He didn't have to explain his purpose.

Hitsugaya jumped down in the ditch. Shifting his thick cloak, the captain settled against the wall of ice and faced his audience.

"You can't see her," the man curtly said.

Ichigio's anger immediately flared. He hadn't walked dozen of miles through snow and ice to be turned away. "I'm not leaving until I do."

Hitsugaya wasn't surprise by the response. "It is vital her training is undisturbed. She can't accept visitors."

"It's been five weeks. What sort of training takes that long? I've never heard of Bankai taking that long." Ichigio growled. A blast of wind roared overhead, coursing through his messy orange locks. Ichigio hastily pulled his hood back over his crown.

"Bankai is different for everyone," the captain replied calmly. "The training will continue until I see fit to dissolve the test. Until such a time, there will be no visitation."

Ichigio tried to push down his temper. "Are you kidding? She's been going at it for 38 days straight. She's got to be out of gas. Continuing to push her training won't prove any progress. She'll only digress from here on out."

"Her training will not be interrupt. Go back home, Kurosaki."

"No," Ichigio snapped. "You're pushing her too hard. She needs time to breath. Let her take the test again later. Give her some time to recuperate and I bet she win Bankai in mere days."

"No, Kurosaki. The test will continue." His tone was unyielding. He went to rise, but Ichigio grabbed his wrist stopped the man. Toshiro's turquoise eyes glared down at him. He was a captain not to be disrespected by a third seat. "Let go of me, Ichigio. You may have killed Aizen, but you will not move me on this decision."

Ichigio bared his teeth, half in fury and half in attempt to keep them from chattering. "I'm not leaving her under your insane regime. I'm taking her home."

"You baka!" Toshiro shouted. The wind stole some of the force from his voice, but his cry rang loud in Ichigio's face. "Kuchiki won't leave even if you demand it. She is stubborn as you! She won't leave until she has Bankai. She won't face her division without Bankai after she's been away so long."

"Bankai isn't important!" Ichigio yelled back. "She's as strong as any Captain. She doesn't need it."

"She believes she does," Shiro argued. "She has been ruthless in her training. Since day one, she has done nothing, but focused on her goal. Until she decides to quit, I will not end the test."

Ichigio couldn't believe what he was hearing. The captain was actually going to push her even longer. Five weeks was surely long enough. "Let me talk to her. Just for a moment. Then, you can go back to test and I'll return home."

"That's unacceptable."

Ichigio lit up. "Unacceptable?! I'm only asking for a few minutes."

"It is not my decision, Kuraski."

The fire that had flared in his breast abruptly died. Ichigio stared incredulously at the captain. He hadn't expected the answer he had heard. "What are you saying? Rukia is the one…"

He trailed off already knowing the answer. Of course, Rukia wouldn't leave. She would never return after five weeks empty handed. She already bore enough shame. She would be able to bear coming back to her division after such a long period without success. She wouldn't be able to look her squad in the eye.

"I tried to make her leave a week ago. I had to return for the Captain's meeting. I told her that she had until the evening before. She tried, but she didn't win Bankai. When I tried to leave, she refused to join me. She told me she would stay behind and continue to train with or without me." Torshiro looked away. "I didn't dare leave her in the horrible state she was in. She would have surely over exhaust herself while I was away. I couldn't be sure if she would be alive by the time I returned."

He sighed heavily. His breathed crystallized in midair and crackled to ground in small chunks of ice. Ichigio ignored it. Toshiro shook his head, "She won't be moved. I promise you, Kuraski. I've tried."

Ichigio sank to the ground. He could see her in his mind. He could see her practicing her sword. He could see blisters burning on her hands and her dark bangs matted against her brow. Her movement was jerky, weary. Her clothes were tattered and stained. He watched her lower the worn blade. She tipped her head back and released a long sigh. With eyes closed, she basked in the racing wind, letting the cold wrap around her. The wind tugged at her, begging her to let it take her. The blizzard grew thick and whirled around her limp body. She didn't fight it. She let the snow hid her. Then, she was gone.

Ichigio swallowed. She was going to kill herself. "How's her training?"

"Rough," Toshiro admitted. His eyes were thoughtful. "I've never seen a test quite like hers. I've especially not seen one that's lasted this long."

Ichigio's chest grew tight. He desperately wanted to know what she was facing. He thought back to his test and remembered the frustration and waning stamina. He had endured three days and he had been near death. He couldn't begin to understand what was happening to her. "What is it?"

Toshiro abruptly stood. The wind ripped the hood off his head, tangling his white hair. He looked towards some unnamed point in the distance, probably in the direction Rukia was training. Without a word, the captain leapt onto the plain of ice and began walking towards her.

Ichigio hastily followed him, but his heavy body sank into the soft drifts. Ichigio cursed loudly and angrily tore at the constricting snow. Toshiro turned and watched him claw the ground. Deciding it was futile to try to clear the way, the third seat shinigami glared up at him. "You can't just leave!"

Toshiro gave a small smirk. "Technically, I can."

"I came all this way!" Ichigio yelled. The cold air hit his lungs like needles, but he angrily ignored the pain. "I've spent over a week looking for you."

Toshiro frowned. "No one told you to come, Ichigio. I believe Kuchiki made you promise not to follow her."

Ichigio gritted his teeth, ignoring the jab. "She knows I don't keep stupid promises."

The captain nodded before turning away and resuming his trek back towards his camp. Ichigio almost didn't hear it, but he couldn't be sure if did hear correctly. He thought he heard the captain say before he disappeared in the whirling white, "She knew you would come. That's why she sent me to stop you."