Chapter 4

Half passed 0200, Kylo stepped into the training room. His dreams had become disturbing. Flashes of destruction and violence. Nothing new for him, but still troubling because he could not place it. Did he cause it? Was it caused by something else? Was it a premonition of war?

His musings were interrupted by a woman jabbing a staff in midair. Kylo was surprised to see Rey exercising in the middle of the room at this hour. He was surprised to see her out of her quarters at all.

"How did you get in here?" Kylo asked.

Rey spun around, giving him a look or irritation.

"Riris let me in," Rey replied, "He said I could work out as long as I didn't remove any of the weapons."

"I'll have to have a talk with him," Kylo replied.

"At least he's trying to be somewhat civilized," Rey said defensively, "And he's just doing his job."

Kylo picked up a practice rod. He noted the slight protectiveness she was developing for Riris.

"I mean that you shouldn't be in here unsupervised," Kylo replied, assuring her that Riris was not in trouble, "You're free to wander as long as you don't leave this part of the ship."

"Nice to know how big my cage is."

"If Hux sees you, he'll kill you, or worse," Kylo warned, "And you're in no state to defend yourself."

"I can fight well enough without the Force."

"Not according to Riris."

"I've been living without it my whole life," Rey retorted, "I didn't have it on Jakku."

"Of course you did," Kylo replied, "You were born with it. It just didn't awaken in you until the day you found that droid. When your path began to intersect with mine."

"Because it was fate," Rey scoffed, "Just like it's my fate to be… what? What am I to you?"

"Right now, a source of vexation."

Rey charged him with her staff. Kylo sidestepped her attack, easily knocking her down. Rey managed to stay on her feet, recovering quickly. She launched another attack at him. Kylo defended himself with the practice rod. He turned the tide by aiming a thrust at her stomach. Rey tightened her defense. Kylo responded by using the Force to push her back. She slid back several meters as he laid in the charge. Kylo pushed her down, slamming her into the ground. Pinned under him, Rey struggled to get loose.

"I choose to believe you were sparring, not attacking me on purpose," Kylo said.

Rey's eyes fell to his belt. Quickly, Kylo unhooked the lightsaber and sent it flying towards the top of the weapon cupboard. Rey watched it fly, her body falling in defeat. She stopped struggling, only looking at him in confusion.

"Why me?" she asked.

"You attacked me," he replied.

"No. Why all of this on me?" she asked, "You want me to be your… what? Partner? Subordinate? Apprentice?"

"Maybe a bit of everything," he answered, "I don't know why it's happening. I just know that it is."

"Because of some visions."

He saw her look of revulsion.

"Rey, ask me if the vision matters," he demanded, "Ask me if the vision makes a difference."

"Does it?" she asked sharply.

"No."

Rey's eyes popped.

"Visions or not, I'm drawn to you. Just like you are to me. Somehow, in a few days, you became the center of my universe. Maybe the Force had nothing to do with it. Maybe Snoke's bond is more powerful than he thought. Maybe it's just coincidence. But I do believe our destinies are connected for good. Either we join forces or I destroy you. And I'd rather not destroy you."

Her eyes scanned his face. Brown eyes trying to see into him. He looked over the curve of her cheek, the softness of her skin, the line of her lips. He wanted to feel that face in his hands. To caress that cheek. To bring her close enough to kiss.

"Stop looking at me like that," she said.

"Like what?"

"Like you're hurting," she said, "I won't fall for that again."

"It's not an act," he growled.

"I know. Get off me."

Kylo stepped back, letting Rey get to her feet. Her face betrayed the confusion in her mind. The pity, the sympathy, the loathing.

"What in the galaxy would it take for you to come to my side?" he asked.

"Restore the Republic. Join the Resistance. Leave this behind. Give up the Dark Side."

"Huh," he laughed, "And I want you to embrace the Dark Side. I want you to help me build a new empire. I want you to give up the Resistance. I think we've both proven that neither of us will give in."

"Even if we found a way to be allies, I can't be what you want," Rey said, "Jedi don't marry."

"They used to," he said, "In the older days. There was no rule against it. Jedi just let themselves close off from the galaxy. They ignored their passions. They chose to be like machines instead of beings. Someone decided that rule a long time ago. The only reason you follow it is because you think you have to. For what? A dead Order? The Jedi fell twice. Maybe there's a reason."

"Because Skywalkers keep destroying it," Rey replied frankly, "Between you and your grandfather, you've doomed the Order to extinction if I don't revive it."

Kylo raised an eyebrow at her.

"You put me in the same category as my grandfather," he was amused, "I'm honored. But as for the Order, why revive it?"

"Because someone has to," she said, "I'm the only one who can. Because your uncle… gave up."

"And left you with a legacy you're not prepared to carry," Kylo said, "You're ill equipped to be a galactic guardian, much less a teacher. But if you were to revive it, why follow the broken doctrine? You can remake the Order into what you want it to be. You can change the rules."

"So you'd be alright marrying a Jedi?" Rey asked.

"I told you, you can do as you wish if you can get the Resistance to agree to my terms. If you join me, you can keep your Jedi ways. I didn't force Kintara, Mug'zuwi, or Irvdar to give up their studies. They might even help you revive the Order."

"You said you wanted me to use the Dark Side."

"Stop telling me I can't use the Dark Side and I'll let it go. You don't understand. The Dark Side has many benefits."

"Like warping your thinking."

"It's possible to use it and remain objective."

"You want to shut out the Light. You're afraid of it."

"Power is the only thing universally understood," he berated her, "The empire worked. The only reason it stopped is because the serpent's head was chopped off. What my grandfather built was working. Wars between planets stopped, order was kept, famine and poverty began to shrink."

"People were oppressed!" Rey's expression went sour.

"If they disobeyed the empire."

"People were oppressed regardless of their obedience. Corellia was driven into a depression. Alderaan was destroyed. Jedha was ruined beyond repair. Thousands of planets were affected by the Empire's tyranny. And the First Order is no better. People are going to keep fighting because you'll keep stepping on them, starving them, enslaving them. Nothing justifies it. And I will never let myself be taken in by someone who can't see that."

Kylo's already flared temper was starting to rise.

"If so many people want to keep fighting, why hasn't the Resistance made a dent in our forces since the First Order took control? Where are your allies, Rey? Where's the riots and the battles?"

"They're everywhere," she waved her hand over the room, "There are millions of beings out there right now who want you dead. You and Hux and every member of your First Order."

"And there are millions who would see you dead. Jedi, killer of Snoke-"

"You're the one who killed him!" Rey interjected.

"To save you!" he spat, "Your idea gratitude was to abandon me and refuse my offer! You know what I was offering. The galaxy at your feet. Everything you could want."

"Except for you to do the right thing."

"Would you rather I lied?" he scoffed madly, "That I promised to do better? Do you think I'm that desperate to win you?"

"The only thing you've offered is for me to help you tyrannize the galaxy," she snapped , "For me to betray my principals and my friends. I'm sorry your parents hid the truth from you. I'm sorry your uncle tried to kill you. I'm sorry your dad tried to bring you back for you to kill him. I'm sorry your mother still worries about you even if you're her enemy. Life has just been one blow after another for you, eh? Well, my parents sold me for money and abandoned me. I lived on a planet where I could have done a lot better by stealing and taking advantage of others. I could have cared for myself above anything or anyone else. But I hated that kind of person. I made a choice to do what was right, even if I went hungry for a few nights at a time. Some appreciated it, some took advantage of it, but at least I had my self-respect at the end of the day."

"And you ended up alone, a simple scavenger on a nothing world."

"But I wasn't a monster."

"Like me?" he asked.

"You grew up in luxury. You've always had enough to eat. Your parents loved you. You had a chance to train with legends. Your idea of suffering is disproportionate to reality. Can you really tell me that not one part of you cares about people who get trodden in your path? You felt nothing when those five planets were destroyed? The galaxy has been mean to you? Wake up! A lot of people have it worse. I've had it worse. Some people had it worse than me. I know because a lot of that pain was your fault."

The anger of her words boiled up inside him. Heat rose in his chest as she preached about right and wrong like he was a child.

"You don't understand what I'm trying to do!" he shouted at her, "I'm going to bring stability to the galaxy so the suffering stops! But will only work once the First Order has complete control! They will learn to follow my rules! If they resist, then they deserve death!"

"Then kill me. Right here, right now," Rey challenged, "Because I won't accept it!"

"I ought to," he said, "I should have killed you on Starkiller base. I should have killed you on the Supremacy. I should have killed you on that forest world. But I can't. I can't stop thinking about you. I can't stop wanting you. I can't stop myself from coming up with reasons to keep you alive!"

She stared him down, cocking her head up. Her face grew stone cold.

"If you love me, really love me, Ben, then that's the light trying to reach you. But if you want me just for some power based fantasy or lust, then that's your darkness."

"What if it's both, Rey?" he stepped towards her, "What if both sides of me want you? What if I don't care that you hate me? I want you regardless."

"It's not enough," she said, "Even if I wanted to get married. It's not enough for me. I can't be with someone who does things I know are wrong. I can't support it."

"Then you'll spend your life being disappointed," he replied, "You'll remain alive until I figure out what to do with you. But don't expect me to make another offer, Rey."

"Fine," she replied, "I don't care anymore."

She walked out of the training room. As she left, Kylo felt his heart empty of everything. No anger, no hate, just emptiness. Just numbness.

He was such an idiot.

4/12/2019 Author's Notes: For those who just arrived to the party, I did just see the new episode 9 title. The Rise of Skywalker. This fic is AU. (It was always going to be since the movie and this thing would never really line up. I am posting up to chapter 6 and finishing. The Rise of Skywalker brings… interesting theories to the mix… Like Rey being or becoming a Skywalker… Or a Skywalker coming back to life.

Or maybe Rey and Kylo get married? I do not know…