-1Bella hung her dress in the closet and pulled the red slip off over her head. She reached for her short night gown and pulled it over her head. Then she scrubbed her face clean and put her hair in a ponytail. It was a little after ten and her sister was already asleep after a long day with Peter.
She sat on her bed and dialed Anthony in New York. She was sure he was still awake.
She was right. "Hey sweetie," she said after he picked up on the fifth ring.
"Mom."
Well it wasn't the greatest conversation starter but at least it was something. And she was sure glad to hear his voice. "How are things goin?"
"Gay."
"I miss you honey."
"Then come home."
"I will a week from Sunday."
"Mom, I do not want to stay here for another week." Anthony stressed the 'do not' into the receiver.
She'd already had this conversation with him before she'd even left. Rachel and Quill were not his favorite relatives nor people. Not that they were horrible to him. But they were boring. Especially to a hyper active fifteen year old. "It can't be that bad."
"How do you know? Have you ever stayed with Aunt Rachel and Uncle Know-it-All? Huh?"
"Anthony Masen! They'll hear you!" But as the nickname inferred, Quill was the kind of man who knew a little about everything and was always boring you with facts you never wanted to know. It was Jake who had started calling him Know-it-All when he told Jake an hour full of tidbits on a wide selection of things.
"No they won't. They're not even here. They left me to watch Kelly and Lucas. I'm like their built in babysitter."
Bella cradled the phone between her shoulder and ear while she reached for the glass of water she had put on her nightstand. "Kelly is only a year younger than you!"
"Yeah I know she is. She keeps following me around and asking me stupid questions like does food get stuck in my lip ring. She's a pain in my butt mom."
Bella thought that was a fair question since she had asked him that too. "I think she has a crush on you Anthony."
"Oh my god mom! How can you say that? That is so gross," he said into the phone with his voice cracking with resentment. "How can you say something that nasty? She's my cousin!"
"Haven't you ever heard of kissing cousins?" Bella asked him in a teasing voice.
"Revolting mom, seriously. She still picks her nose!"
Bella laughed and the discussion changed to school. There was only five more days until he would get out for summer vacation. He had just turned fifteen in December and could only count the days towards two things. His drivers license and graduation. Since first grade he had been counting down the days until he got his drivers license. And since sixth grade he was marking the days off the calendar till his graduation. He only had one more year to go until his drivers license and three until graduation. He already had his major and car picked out.
"I'm gonna get a Nova Super Sport. A four on four, too. None of that wussy three speed crap either. Why bother if you can't burn them off? It'll be fat." Bella didn't ever bother to pretend she knew what he was talking about. Like Edward, he knew a lot about cars. It was in his DNA to be gear crazy. Plus there was a pretty good chance he had been conceived in the backseat of a Volvo.
"What color?" Bella asked not one bit concerned. Anthony didn't have a job so there was no way he would be able to burn them off in a Nova SS.
"Yellow with a black top."
"Like a bumblebee?"
Anthony hesitated then replied, "White with a black top. And I got a brochure from Drexel University about law, mom." Anthony was destined to be a lawyer. That was also programmed into his DNA.
They talked for another five minutes about the weather and where he wanted to go on vacation when she got back. Anthony had just seen a teen skin flick and thought Fort Lauderdale sounded good. Or Hawaii.
By the time she hung up the phone, they pretty much had decided on Disney World. Although that would probably change the next time she talked to him. She squirted some raspberry scented lotion onto her arms and rubbed it in. A thin strip of white skin was on her finger where her wedding bands use to be. Wedding bands that had been there fifteen years. She had slipped the two carat solitaire into the breast pocket of Jake's burial suit. She thought it was appropriate that it lay above his heart.
As she rubbed the lotion into her hands, she glanced around the room where she was staying. When Abby and her soon to be ex-husband bought the apartment, she had taken all of her and Bella's stuff out of storage and placed it in the room. But when Bella had called her to tell her she was coming for a visit, Abby had told her some of her stuff was in the guest room closet. The bed in the room had also been her own bed from her youth. Framed pictures of family hung all over the room. Bella smiled at the picture of her mom, Abby, and her when they had gone on vacation somewhere.
Bella stood and crossed the room to the closet. In it hung a couple of her old prom dresses. On the floor were her favorite pair of sneakers and a big box with Bella scrawled on the front of it in bold, black marker. She scooted the box across the floor to the bed. She plopped on the bed and stared at the box. She knew what was in it. Memories she had taped a long time ago shut. Bits and pieces of her life. The same memories that had surfaced at the reception that she suppressed. Now here they were, looking at her. Did she really want to look through her past?
No, not really.
She tore the tape off and opened the box.
On top laid her graduation tassel, a dried wrist corsage, a picture of her and the cheerleading squad, and a few nametags that said Hi My Name is Bella. She wasn't sure why she had saved the nametags, but the corsage she knew. She touched the dry rosebuds that were now a dusty yellow, but in her mind still appeared to be the same pink and white they once were. She brought the corsage to her nose and took a deep breath. They smelled of years of dust and memories. She sat it next to her and continue to dig through the box. Her baby blanket and baptism gown were next. Then a heart shaped box with the necklace that her granddad on her father's side had given her at sixteen was next along with her yearbooks. She took her ninth grade yearbook out and flipped through the pages. She turned to the picture of the teaching staff. She had taken that picture before she knew about lighting and composition and had been in her first year of photography class.
She continued to turn the pages and landed on the cheerleading pictures. She spotted herself and Tanya in the group and smiled. The picture had been taken of them in their black and gold cheerleading uniforms doing Herkie, toe touch jumps, and handsprings. That was the year Bella had dyed her hair blonde like the rest of the team. While they had all looked like preppy cheerleaders, Bella looked like Casper the Ghost.
She flipped to her class picture and blushed. Her smile was filled with braces, and she had so much make up smeared on her face she looked like a clown. Thank God she had met Alice soon after
Another few pages, and her finger landed on Jake. She smiled at the touch of his photo underneath her finger. He'd always been such a handsome boy with his black hair, brown eyes, and a big grin as if he didn't have a care in the world. He played baseball and basketball and been involved in student government. He'd even gone on to win school president their senior year.
Bella thumbed a couple more pages and looked at Edward's photo. Unlike Jake, Edward didn't grin and smile as if he didn't have a care in the world. It wasn't that he was more intense than Jake, he just didn't waste energy on smiling and laughing when he didn't feel like it
.
During that school year, Edward had turned sixteen. A year older than Anthony was now. They both had the same copper hair color and bright green eyes. Bella looked for more similarities but found none.
That was also the year that Edward had quit baseball because his grades had slipped so much. Up until his sophomore year, Edward had always been the team captain. When he quit, Jake had taken up his position. As far as she recollected, he'd never had any bad feelings toward Jake about it, only an unhappiness that he could no longer hit the ball.
That was also the year that she started to fall in love with Edward. Oh sure, she'd always loved Edward the same way she loved Jake, but it seemed as if she had looked at him the same way she always had, and in the next everything she had changed.
On that particular day, he'd been waiting for Jake to finish baseball practice, sitting on the bleachers. She'd stayed after school to make posters for the homecoming dance and had decided to make a short cut through the baseball field to the parking lot and saw him sitting there waiting for Jake and watching, instead of playing.
Possibly it was the lighting that made him shine in a brighter light. She didn't really know, but his good looks seem to jump out at her more that day. More than his messy hair. More than his slight stubble on his jaw. More than his arms folded across his chest and the defined balls of his biceps and the hard cord of muscle of his forearms. Edward did not life weights. He lifted car engines at his new part time job.
"Hey there love," he said as he patted the bleacher next to him.
"What are you doing?" she asked as she sat next to him. She placed her books on her lap and stared out onto the field. She watched as the players retreated to the locker rooms to change.
"Waiting for Jake."
"Do you miss playing Edward?"
"No, but I do miss the pretty girls." It was of course true that the baseball players did get the cutest girls. But it wasn't true that Edward didn't get his fair share.
"Yeah, you're gonna have to settle for the ugly girls now." She laughed as she looked at him in the corner of her eye.
"Bella, don't you know there aren't any truly ugly girls in Forks?"
He was full of it. "And where did you get that enlightening piece of information?"
He shrugged and smirked. "It's a fact is all. Like you know, someone walking on the moon and your gonna use algebra in your life." He took her hand and brushed his finger softly over her knuckles as he studied her fingers. Bella's heart began to thump loud in her chest. Edward was acting kind and loving. It sent tingles down her spine. "You'll still be seen with me, won't you Bella?"
She turned her head and watched him in full sight, all prepared with a flip answer, but he glanced up at her and something in his green eyes stopped her. For a flash, she saw something, something in his eyes, something in the way he looked back at her, something that made her think that her answer was important. As if he wasn't sure. She got a unanticipated look inside of Edward that she'd never seen before. Maybe he didn't bounce everything off like he was superman. Maybe he did feel things just like everyone else. Maybe more.
Then he flashed her his crooked smile and it was gone.
"Of course Edward," she replied. "I'll always be seen with you."
"I knew I could count on you love."
For the first time, his voice slid inside her chest and warmed her up with hot tingles. It was all so incredible and absurd, and left her bewildered. And it absolutely could not happen. She couldn't fall in love with Edward. He was her friend. And she didn't want to lose him. But even if he hadn't been her friend, she still would have been an idiot to let that happen.
He squeezed her hand and stood, "Do you need a ride home?"
She looked up at him with his fingers going through his tousled hair and nodded. Edward Cullen had a lot of pleasant qualities. Being faithful to one girl was not one of them. He'd shatter her heart like glass. If that happened, they couldn't be anything. She'd miss him terribly.
By the time Jake had walked out of the locker room and up onto the bleachers with his hair still wet from the shower, she had persuaded herself into believing that she wasn't falling in love with Edward. He'd made her momentarily confused. Like when they were kids on the merry-go-round. He used to spin it so fast for a while after she couldn't think or see straight.
But she was over it now. Thinking straight once again. Thank God. "So are you guys going somewhere?"
"Yeah. We're going over to La Push," Edward replied.
"What's in La Push?" she asked.
"There's a '69 CamaroZ-28 that Matt wants me take a look at." Matt was Edward's boss and was a sucker for old cars. He'd also made Edward a fan of older cars, even ones that didn't run.
"A '69?" Bella never did understand what the big fascination of an older car, or classics as Edward now called them, was. She preferred newer styles with leather seats. Not like she could afford a new car. Her dad was the chief of police raising two girls. Money was a hot commodity. Jake and Edward on the other hand came from families with money. Jake's father was a lawyer and his mother a doctor, while Edward's dad was the top surgeon around. They rarely had to worry about money. "Does it run?"
"Not yet."
Exactly.
"Hey Bella," Jake said as he approached her. "Why are you at school so late?"
"Making homecoming posters." she answered quickly. "Are you going to the dance?"
"Yeah. I'm thinking about asking Leah Clearwater. Do you think she'll go with me?" Jake smiled and there was no doubt that Leah would say yes.
Bella shrugged. "Are you going Edward?" she asked even though she knew the answer already.
"Nope. You know I never put on that suit in my closet unless my mom forces me to go to church or a funeral." He grabbed her books out of her hands and carried them as they walked to the car. "The last time I wore a suit was at a wedding. And you know I hate to dance."
Bella knew from experience that it wasn't that he didn't know how to dance, he just never felt like it.
"You could just wear a nice shirt and tie. Like that one I just bought you.," she informed him, but the fact that he wasn't going to be asking another girl to go made her happier than it should have, given that she was over her former confusion.
"Not a chance," he said as she got into the backseat of the four door Volvo. Edward got in and shut the door and revved the engine.
"Have you even been asked yet Bells?" he asked her as they pulled out of the parking lot.
"Yes." Edward had been weird about who she dated ever since she had broken up with Sam and Jake was always a little stand offish about it. Some things never changed. So she didn't want to say.
"Who?" Jake asked as he twisted himself in the seat to look at her.
She looked out the right hand side window intently ignoring his question.
Jake slapped her lightly on the shoulder. "Come on Isabella Marie. Who asked you?"
"Demetri Volturi."
"Your going with Booger?"
"He doesn't like to be called that anymore."
Jake and Edward looked at each other which irritated Bella.
"What is wrong with Booger…..I mean Demetri?" She held up both of her hands before either one of them could answer. "Never mind, I don't care what either of you think. I'm going with him."
"He gets around a lot."
"He's the wrong kind of boy for you," Edward added.
She crossed her arms across her chest and was quiet for the rest of the ride. The pair of them were serial daters, and that was putting it in the nicest way she could. She didn't care about their opinion. Especially Edward's. When did she ever listen to him? And if there was any wrong guy for her, it was Edward. This made her even more glad that she wasn't falling in love with him.
She spent most of that year going out with boys that neither one of them approved. On more then one occasion Edward and Jake told her dates what they thought was wrong with her to scare the potential boys away. And like most girls her age, she learned to make out and drive boys crazy. And more important, she learned when to stop before things went to far. This resulted in her being labeled as a tease. Bella didn't find this fair at all. Boys kissed her. She kissed them back. As far as she could tell, a girl was either a prude, which meant she didn't kiss at all. A tease, meaning she kissed and perhaps a bit more, or a slut. And everyone knows what that meant.
That summer she let Mike Newton touch her breast on the outside of her T-shirt. Edward and Jake found out from mutual friends of Mike's and decided they would talk to her about it. They burst through her bedroom door and told her that was a slutty thing to do. And Edward couldn't have a friend who let Newton touch anything. Bella got so mad she slammed her bedroom door in their faces and refused to come out for days.
The hypocrites.
In her junior year, she made varsity cheerleader. Her hair was back to its natural brown color and was long. Jake was still in baseball, basketball, and of course student government. Edward was racing the Camaro he bought from Matt and bringing up his grades. And Bella continued to tell herself that she wasn't attracted to him in the least bit. She told herself that she loved him like a friend, but not in love with him. As if her heart didn't get a slight pinch when she saw him jumping in his Camaro with some random girl. Or when she saw him driving around with his arm around some girl in his Volvo. He was her friend, nothing more. She wouldn't let herself feel anything else either.
All that changed a few weeks before Christmas her senior year when she was asked to the Christmas Ball by Jackson Rathbone. Jackson was handsome and drove a new Mitsubishi Gallant. Red. Bella worked nights at the Forks Diner and saved enough to buy the perfect dress. It had a tight red bodice which was decorated by a gold jewels all over it. The bottom was fit for a princess. It was big and puffy. It had tulle on top of the red fabric. It was the prettiest dress she'd ever seen. The night before the dance, she picked up Jackson's boutonniere on her break. When she got home, he called and cancelled. He said his grandpa was sick and he to go out of town with his parents to take care of him. Everyone knew that he had started seeing another girl. Bella had been dumped.
And everyone knew it.
The next day at work, everyone told her how much of a jerk he was and she deserved better. She laughed and said she didn't care. Everything was fine. She wasn't sad or upset.
But everyone knew better. Getting dumped the night before a dance with some lame excuse that was a lie would suck for any girl that it happened too.
And everyone knew it.
After she was done at work, Bella went home and locked herself into her room. The red dress hung on her closet door, staring at her. Tears began to flow at a rapid speed and she buried her face into her pillow. Around five, her sister knocked on the door and asked her is she wanted some Moose Tracks Ice Cream. She said no and Abby had sighed deeply. Alice had tried to convince her to come out and let her play Barbie Bella, but she had refused until she left.
At six on the dot, Edward knocked hard on the door. She refused to open the door and let him see her like that. She was a mess and she didn't care to be made fun of. She wouldn't have been able to make up a good comeback.
"Bella," he said in a loud voice through the door, "Open the door."
"Go away Edward," she said as she pulled herself a Kleenex out of the box and blew her nose.
"I'm not in the mood."
"Open up."
"No!" Bella threw a pillow at the door hoping that would make him go away.
"I have something for you."
She stared at the door intently for a moment, as if she had x-ray vision and could see it.
"What?"
"I can't tell you. I have to show you. Open the door."
"I look really bad." She braced herself for his comeback.
"I don't care."
Well she did. She opened her door a crack. She stuck her hand out and grabbed for the imaginary item. "What is it?" He didn't answer and she was forced to peer out the crack. Edward stood before her door, the light from Abby's room shone on him like a dark angel or a choirboy. He wore a black suit with a black dress shirt and a white tie hung crooked at his neck. "What's going on Edward? Are you going to a funeral?"
He laughed his melodic laugh and placed his crooked smile on his face. He brought his hand out from behind his back and laid a wrist corsage of white and pink roses in her palm. "Will you go to the Christmas ball with me?"
"You hate school dances," she said through the crack.
"I know."
She brought the corsage to her nose and breathed in deep. Well not that deep because her nose was clogged from hours of crying. She bit her bottom lip from trembling. She didn't want to cry anymore. And as she looked at him, in a suit he hated and asking her to a dance he detested, she fell hopelessly in love with Edward Cullen. It made her heart beat quickly and it scared her to death. All those years of fighting it faded away to nothing.
She'd fallen in love with Edward and there was nothing she could do about it. Nothing.
That night Edward kissed her for the first time. Actually she kissed him. During the dance, while she continued to fall even more in love with him, he treated her like he always had. As a friend.
While he made her body feel hot and alive, he remained cool to the touch. It had been wonderful and awful, and after the ball, when they sat in his Volvo, she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him.
At first he sat there with one hand on the gear shifter and the other on his leg. Then he seized her shoulders through her black shawl and pushed her away angry.
"What are you doing?"
"Kiss me Edward." If he rejected her, she was sure she would just die. Die right there in his car.
His grasp tightened and he brought her forward and kissed her lightly on the forehead.
"No, don't treat me like a friend." She swallowed hard. "Please," she whispered as she looked at him with her big brown eyes. "I want you to kiss me like you kiss those other girls. I want you to touch me like you do those other girls."
He pulled back quickly and he gazed at her for a moment. "Don't tease me Bella. I don't like it."
"I'm not teasing you." She ran her hand across the shoulder of his Edward's jacket and through his messy hair. "Please Edward?"
Then as if he didn't want to kiss her, but he couldn't fight it anymore, he slowly lowered his mouth to hers. This time the touch of his lips stole her breath. She tilted her head back and sank into his chest. Until that moment, she thought she knew what it was like to kiss a boy. Edward showed her she didn't have a clue. The kiss was hot and wet and filled with so much hunger that it changed her forever.
Even now, after so many years had passed by, Bella could still remember how she felt sitting in Edward's car that night. How he turned her world inside out. She'd clung to him as he fed her those liquid kisses that had made her breasts ache and her body tremble. His hands never moved from her shoulders, but he made her desire for his touch. She wanted him to touch her all over.
Instead he pushed her away and told her to get out of the car.
And she had stood there and watched him drive away.
A/N: New chapter. Some of their history thrown into there. And Jackson Rathbone is my favorite from the movie so of course I had to make him make an appearance. I see I have a couple of alerts now so that makes me want to write at least a little bit more. And of course we'll have some outlooks from Edward and this story does not focus on Anthony. He's just important to the plot. Alright so please R&R and pass this story along to other readers. Much love and thanks, LilD
