I sat speechless staring at him. I was perfectly convinced that I had just imagined the words that left his mouth until he spoke again.

"Juliette? Are you OK? Did you hear what I said?" His eyes were wide and his forehead wrinkled.

I could not speak.

My parents left me to die. My parents left me to die. My parents left me to die.

My parents didn't bother to say goodbye when I was taken away from them. They didn't want me. I had a hard time remembering my mother's face. I couldn't remember my father's voice.

"Why?" I didn't remember deciding to speak when the word pushed itself out of my throat.

"Because you're still waking up with nightmares, love. Because you have so much unresolved in your past. Because you have helped me so much and I wanted to return the favour."

I wanted to believe his words, I wanted to thank him and tell him that I love him.

"I never asked you to do that. I've never said I wanted to see them again."
"That's true. But you need to move on, and you're strong enough now."

"I don't need you to make decisions for me."

"I know. Don't you think I know that? You don't need me, but I wanted to do this for you."
I knew that I was attacking him for no reason. I knew that the real reason I was feeling defensive was that I was terrified. He knew that too.

"What if they don't want to see me?" My voice cracks.

"Then they're stupid and don't deserve to have you in their lives."

I thought it over. I didn't want to see them. But if I had Aaron with me it might be OK.

"Do they live close?"

"An hour away."

It wasn't enough time. I wouldn't be able to prepare in such a short amount of time. Did they even want to meet me?

"Have you... have you spoken to them?" I was afraid of his answer.

"I spoke to them… briefly," he whispered

"How could you keep something like this from me? How long have you known?"

"Well, I known that ever since I found out about you. I'm sorry, we've just had more important stuff to deal with until now."
"Yeah, like defeating the Reestablishment isn't enough," I managed to roll my eyes even though it felt like the reality I'd built my worldview upon was falling apart.

"Honey, I'm sorry. OK? I'm sorry. We don't have to-"

"Of course we don't have to. I know that. But what kind of daughter would I be if I didn't seize the possibility? I don't even know if I have the right to call myself a daughter when my parents never even wanted to be associated with me." I was rambling, I was trying to make sense of it all, I was trying to explain my feelings enough for him know what words to say to console me. I was failing.

He was quiet for a moment, giving me enough space to calm my breathing and listen to his next words. "You don't have any obligation to see them. This is for you, not for them."

We sat in silence.

"So, what do you want to do?"

I looked him in the eyes, they were green, concerned and unblinking. I wanted to get this over with. I wanted to sleep for twenty-four hours straight. I wanted to kiss his beautiful lips and forget about everything else. But not now. In that moment I knew I had to face reality, defeat the past. Maybe for the last time.

"Let's go," I said and took his hand. Our fingers intertwined as we began walking towards the helicopter.