Chapter 4

"So, I suppose I'll start from the beginning," Sean said as they walked through the TARDIS corridors back to the central console room. "Counting my time as a human, I am 112 now. I was 100 when I had to leave Gallifrey. My father was a Time Agent, while my mother was a scientist, so you could say that my genius came naturally. I know you're supposed to be at least 100 before you finish the first round of school, but I was only 90 when I had finished and memorized everything they had to teach me.

"I was nearly done with my studies when things started to take a turn for the worse. Everywhere there was talk of armies gathering, and that really terrible things were coming. The night that everything happened, my dad was on leave again for a mission. He was often gone, but the times he was home were my favorite. He would take me everywhere to explore the city, and sometimes he would even take me to other worlds when my mum wasn't looking. I loved every second of it. I really dreamed big dreams as a kid.

"But in the times when my dad was gone and my mum was busy, I heard the stories of you, Doctor. I heard of how you traveled around the universe, saving planets, saving lives. Course, to everyone else you were the renegade, exactly the one kids weren't supposed to want to aspire to. But that's what made me idolize you even more. You didn't let the High Council or the Lord President or anyone else rule you, you were your own boss. In times of trouble, you always seemed to find your own way out of it, doing what you knew was best. And I loved that.

"I was always making things. I even made my own version of your sonic screwdriver. Except that mine was different. Mine," he paused, smiling mischievously, "was better."

The Doctor scoffed at him, dubious. "Better? How can something home-made possibly be better than my sonic?"

But Sean simply smirked back.

"It does wood… and just about everything else you can think of. Literally. I added a keypad to type in the specific frequencies. Although... I don't exactly have it with me right now. It's sitting in a chest of my things from Gallifrey, buried in the woods near where I lived as a human. Oh ya!" He exclaimed as an afterthought, remembering the story he had to get back to telling.

"Bit scatterbrained, eh?" the Doctor teased. The comment then was met by a glare from Sean.

"Anyway," he began again with a sigh, "I was nearly done with school when things turned bad. My dad was out, and I was in my room working out more modifications on my screwdriver. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary to me, but my mum seemed worried about something, like she knew that something was about to happen. All of the sudden, I heard shouts down the road, so I looked out my window to see what it was. I-I didn't really understand what was happening. It looked like soldiers were coming around to the houses, and forcing people to come with them. People my age. There was shouting in the streets, and soldiers storming into homes.

"I could guess now what was going on. I gathered up my screwdriver and tools and stuffed them into a chest as fast as I could. Stuffing it into my bag, I ran downstairs to find my mum, holding my dad's old vortex manipulator and a chameleon arch." He paused, sadness filling his eyes. "I- I told her that I couldn't take it. I didn't want what I knew was going to happen. 'Please, Kasteron, you'll be okay. I promise,' she said tome, choking up with tears. Because she wasn't about to let anyone take me away. We all knew that they were gathering people for an army, taking the youngest and fittest first. They would've made me be some strategist or general. They would've made me fight, and I really didn't want to do that. So I listened to her. We ran out the back door, to the fields behind the house. We'd made a plan when talk of conflict had begun that if anything ever happened I would use the vortex manipulator to flee. My parents wanted to ensure my safety over their own. They didn't want me to see war or those sorts of things if I didn't have to, because they knew how it could change a person.

"When I was out the back, there were knocks on the door, and I knew that was it. I hugged her tightly, refusing to let go, knowing that if I did, I might never see her again. This was supposed to be our quick escape, but something told me it wasn't going to be quick.

"'Those doors won't last long, and when you hear them even begin to break, you run. Use what your father taught you, and run. Run far away from here. You've always wanted to see the universe on your own. Here's your chance.' As she spoke the last words, a slight smile crept onto her tear-stained face, and even on mine as well. I told that I didn't want to leave her. But that was it. We heard the gruff voices at our door. When no answer came, they blasted through.

"'Kasteron, I love you. Don't ever forget that," she told me. 'Now RUN!' I could see the strength, but also the fear, in her eyes. I ran as fast as I could into the field. When I was a ways out, I opened up my vortex manipulator and paused. Where would I go? Where was safe? And that's where I thought of Earth. You seemed to frequent thee so often, I figured that if I landed there that I would have at least a chance of you finding me. Then I could go back to Gallifrey once it was over, and in the meantime I could travel with you. It was a kid's dream, really. I had a few seconds after I punched in the coordinates to look back at my home. The sky was its usual orange, and the weather of the day seemed so, so opposite in feeling to what was happening. The last thing I saw were the soldiers threatening her with their weapons, asking her where I was, but she refused to move. Just as one of the soldiers spotted me out in the field, I saw them hit her aside, knocking her down. 'MUM!' I screamed, trying to run towards her- but it was too late.

"When my foot next hit the ground, I was no longer on Gallifrey. I was on Earth, and my mother was endless miles away now. I fell down in grassy field, my head aching from the effects of time travel without a capsule. I looked down at what I could for the moment use simply as a watch, and saw that it was 2001. I walked through the field towards a group of houses. Coming close to one of them, I could see that I looked about 12 in human years. Maybe, I thought to myself, I could use that. A kid wandering around alone on Earth just simply wouldn't work, and I knew so little of Earth life that /I would stick out like a sore thumb. So I decided then that I would somehow get myself adopted.

"It was stupid luck that I came upon that house. It was evening, and a couple were sitting down to dinner. I could see no child or pictures as evidence of one, and so I walked up and rang the doorbell. The woman answered. She was in her late 30s, with long wavy dark brown hair and a face that reminded me strikingly of my mother, even though I knew it wasn't her. Realizing suddenly that I hadn't fully planned things out, I stared for a moment, before saying that I was lost and didn't know what to do. Then everything went black.

"I woke up in a soft bed in the house. I hadn't ever traveled in time like that on my own before, and my poor landing on top of the stress of the events past had caused me to pass out. I sat up to see the woman walk into the room. 'Henry! Henry, he's awake!' she said, causing the man named Henry to come running into the room. 'Oh, thank goodness. Now, boy,' he said with a London accent, 'who are you?'

"'Well, that is a bit complicated. I might begin by telling you where I'm from. I know this might be a bit more than you can handle at the moment, but my name is Kasteron. I am a Time Lord from the planet Gallifrey, and recent troubles at my home have landed me here, on Earth. You have to trust me on this, even if there isn't any really good way of convincing you that I am, in fact, telling the truth,' I said to them, speaking in English. It took me a bit to think as they just stood there in the room, looking at me with shocked eyes. But then I realized what I could use- my screwdriver.

"'My bag- where is it? It has something inside that I need.' The man called Henry picked the bag up and held it. Before he gave me the bag, he spoke: 'Er- Kasteron, if that is what your name is, I don't honestly know what to believe right now. A boy has just collapsed on my doorstep and woken up in my house, claiming he's some sort of refugee from another planet.' I winced a bit at that word, refugee. Essentially, that was what I was. Fleeing a war, trying to find somewhere to hide while it all boils over. While my thoughts raced, Henry continued: 'I don't think anyone could make that story up. It's really a bit odd, but there is just something about you that makes me really want to believe what you say. You may be loony, but you're genuine. Anna, do you agree?' The woman called Anna, whom I would soon believe was the only mother I ever had, breathed a heavy sigh and nodded. She took the bag from Henry, who I would soon call my father, and handed it to me. I quickly rummaged through it, grabbing out my screwdriver. I knew exactly what I would do with it.

"I held it vertically, typing several things into the keypad until I had what I wanted. With a click, a projection opened up: a hologram of Gallifrey. I had compiled it based upon every map and picture I could find back home, so that I would have the most accurate map in the whole universe to use when I went exploring. As the three-dimensional and, I have to say incredibly detailed hologram projected, my soon-to-be-called-mom-and-dad just gazed at it with awe. 'This... this is amazing,' said Anna, a tear coming to her eye.

"But I knew that I had to cut to the chase. I couldn't stay here as who I was, because I would stick out too much, knowing very little about Earth culture. I turned the projection off, and reached into my bag for something else, something I was so, so scared to use- a chameleon arch. My parents had taught me how to use it if I ever had to, and had given me a fob watch along with it, with my name inscribed on the casing. 'Now, this is the hard part. I have to use this device, and well, you are to me the best people to do this.'

"They looked at me blankly, not knowing a thing of what I was talking about. 'This device will turn me human. It is the only way for me to live in this world, because I know hardly anything about life here. Thing is, I need someone to take care of me, someone to teach me the ways of this world, and to help me live here. I need someone to be my caretakers.' Just as I finished, Henry spoke again: 'You want us to be your parents.' I nodded. 'Will you?' I asked, fully expecting to be turned down. No one wanted to adopt a kid from another planet who popped up on their doorstep one night. At least, that's what I thought.

"'Yes,' said Anna, placing her hand upon mine. 'We will take care of you, because we have no children of our own. You may seem larger than life and unreal to me now, but I will treat as my true son.'

"That was the best I could've hoped for. The deal was set, and so together we created the person you knew as Sean Matherson. They had only just moved to the area, and so explaining the sudden appearance of a new son wasn't so difficult. I let them decide my name, and spent much of the night writing out my journal in English so that they could read it and see exactly what sort of a person I was. I explained to them that they would have to constantly remind me who I was at first, that I would probably have dreams of other worlds that they would have to simply dismiss as a vivid imagination. Above all, I told them that I could never, ever lose that fob watch. That watch would be me, the real me, and if it was gone, I might never be able to come back. After hacking into a couple databases to create fake birth and school records, it was ready. All I had to do was...use it.

"The three of us sat in the living room as I held it in my hands. I placed the fob watch in the arch, and put it on my head. I was about to flip the switch to initiate the changing sequence when I broke into tears. My whole identity would be rewritten, with the real me trapped inside a watch for who knows how long. I didn't want to feel weak. I hated feeling weak, but I felt helpless, helpless that the only thing I could do was run and hide while I had no idea what was happening to my real home. My new parents held me between them as I wept. They understood what was about to happen, at least somewhat. I didn't think that I could do it, but at the same time, I knew it had to. Henry asked if he wanted me to do it for him, but I simply shook my head. This was my decision, and I had to make it myself."

Finally, Kasteron stopped for a moment. They were in the central console room now. He sat down in one of the chairs, tired from the emotions brought back by telling his tale.

"It's been twelve years. Twelve years since all of that happened, twelve years since I last saw my mother, or my father, or anything else on Gallifrey." His eyes watered as he held back tears.

"But now, I found you, Doctor!" He looked up at the elder Time Lord, his eyes full of hope. "Now we can go back, back to Gallifrey, back home, back to my family! It's been this long now, any war that might have come about should be over now, right?"

The Doctor turned away from him. He was so full of hope, and he had waited so, so long. How could he possibly tell him that there was nowhere left to go back to? That it was his fault that the world they both once adored was now gone forever, and that everyone they knew was gone with it? The answer was that he couldn't. At least, not yet.

"Ya!" He turned around, trying to make his smile look as genuine as possible, and hoping that

Kasteron wouldn't notice. "But," he said, putting his hand on the younger Time Lord's shoulder, "don't you want to get your things first? I want solid proof that your sonic is 'better' than mine."

Kasteron smiled. "Alright. I'll dial in the coordinates, and then you do the rest!"

The Doctor motioned with his hand towards the console. "Don't you want to give it a go yourself?"

"I, er- sort of left Gallifrey before I actually learned how to pilot a TARDIS," he said sheepishly.

"You never learned how to pilot a TARDIS?" the Doctor said, smirking and trying not to laugh. Piloting a TARDIS was one of the most basic things a Time Lord learned to do.

Kasteron glowered at him and shot him a quick punch in the arm. "Shuttup. My dad always used a vortex manipulator. It was his philosophy that they're smaller and simpler to use than a TARDIS, making them perfect for quick jumps. So pfffffbbbbttt," he added, sticking his tongue out childishly.

"Oi! That was unnecessary!" The Doctor stood rubbing his sore arm. For a kid, he could pack a lot of power behind his punches. "Anyway, just input the coordinates here-" he pointed to a screen on the console "-and I'll do the rest."

Kasteron did just that, and the Doctor followed up by sending the TARDIS rocking into motion. After several seconds the room stopped moving, indicating that the time machine had landed.

"I'll go first, seeing as I know the way," said Kasteron as he walked down the ramp to the door. They had landed in a field on the outskirts of a little town, the same place where he had found himself twelve years ago, alone and scared. At least, it had been twelve years for him. For the place they were in now, it had only been a few months, thanks to some surprisingly accurate timing by the TARDIS. He led the Doctor into the woods on the edge of the field, then began looking carefully at the base of every tree trunk he passed.

"Here it is!" said Kasteron, bending down to dig at the underside of an exposed root at the base of an old oak tree. After pulling aside several layers of carefully placed moss, he hit a hard chest, pulling it out the rest of the way with the Doctor's help. It was in nearly the same condition as he when he put it there, with inscriptions carved all over it in circular Gallifreyan. To open it, he pressed his hand into the center, tracing one of the inscriptions with the pressure of his finger. As the chest clicked open, Kasteron turned to the Doctor, smiling like a little boy showing his favorite toys to his best friend for the first time.

Inside were some of his old clothes, packed away for safe keeping, and to hide his real identity while he lived as a human.

"I grew a bit, huh?" Kasteron said, holding up the rust-colored tunic that was about 12 sizes too small for him now. Its collar was embroidered in emerald-colored thread with yet more circular Gallifreyan.

Setting it into the lid of the chest so as not to dirty it on the ground, he reached in to pull out the rest of his treasures. First came the chameleon arch, which he quickly put aside, eager to forget the painful memories that surrounded it. Then came the vortex manipulator that he had used to get there, which he then strapped on his wrist. Who knew? It could come in handy some day.

"Hang on, who did you say you got this from again?" said the Doctor, holding Kasteron's wrist and examining the engravings on the device's wrist strap. "This is the mark of the Corsair!"

"Ya! This was my dad's spare, but it originally belonged to my grandad- or grandmum, depending on which regeneration you were going by." He smiled proudly after stating the matter-of-fact family history which suddenly gave the Doctor a pang in his hearts. It was just yet another reminder that everything was really gone, and that he had been able to do nothing at all to help his friend the Corsair.

Kasteron reached back into the chest, and pulled out his prized possession. It was similar to the Doctor's screwdriver, but with a keypad towards the bottom of the barrel, with a cover on it that doubled as a screen. "I call it the SonicJack," he said, holding it up as the blue-green tip and coppery casing glinted in the afternoon sunlight. "It has programmed settings I can access by simply inputting their code word into the key pad. I designed it myself, based after yours."

The Doctor had to admit he was impressed, especially if he had in fact made it himself. He looked down at his own screwdriver, which the TARDIS had made for him after his last one was damaged.

"Alright, prove it. Prove it works."

"Easy." Kasteron gave the Doctor a challenging look, then quickly typed in a code, his fingers flying across the tiny keys. After he found what he wanted, he pointed it at the Doctor's sonic, smiling his now characteristic and mischievous smile. With a buzzing sound and a glow from the SonicJack's tip, the elder Time Lord's screwdriver began to float in midair.

"OI!" he yelled, grabbing his precious tool back before it could be levitated any higher. "DON'T TOUCH THE SONIC!" With a whip of his hand, he sent Kasteron's device flying out of his hand and down to the ground, several meters away.

"Hey! Not fair!"

"Oh, I'm not fair?!" The Doctor said as Kasteron retrieved his tool.

"You wanted to see proof that it works! There it is! Yours can't levitate things, mine can! It's not my fault that the best object to use that function on happens to be one that you're so picky about."

"Rule Number One! NO TOUCHING MY SONIC!"

"Technically, I didn't actually touch it."

"I don't care! You leave it alone!" The Doctor kissed the green emitter, earning an odd look from his companion.

They packed the tunic and chameleon arch back into the chest, leaving the moss uncovered as they headed back to the TARDIS. The altercation had been a fun and light-hearted distraction for the Doctor, but he still knew what he had to do. Whatever happened, this kid may end up being a lot more than he bargained for.

Back in the TARDIS, Kasteron took the chest to his room, while the Doctor stayed in the console room, thinking over what he absolutely did not want to say to such a bright young Time Lord. Before this, he had never met someone whose energy and cheekiness quite matched his own, but this was it. He was young, and had so much potential.

"So, now we go home, right? I've got everything, and hopefully my dad will even be home, too. You will love meeting them, Doctor. Of course, they'll be just as pleased to meet you, Doctor. Doctor?" His smiled turned into a quizzical expression when the Doctor refused to face him.

"Kasteron, there's something I need to tell you."

"Hmm? Ya, what? Is the war not over yet?" his expression fell slightly, but he rebounded right back. "Cuz if we need to, ya know, travel around for a while until it's safe, that's fine too!"

"Oh, it's over. It's just that the... outcome wasn't exactly so great."

"What do you mean? Doctor, nothing could ever defeat Gallifrey. We watch over the Universe. Not even the Daleks stand a chance against us."

"That's just it," he said, his voice quivering slightly, trying to hold back the guilt and sorrow and anger. "No one stood a chance against anyone else in that war. Kasteron, we lost. Everyone lost."

Kasteron was panicking, and his emotions were yet again getting the better of him. Still, he stood in disbelief. No one could defeat the Time Lords. It simply wasn't possible. Right?

"I'm sorry. I really am so, so sorry, Kasteron. There- there was no other choice. That war waged for along time, and in the end, it was..." his voice broke as he cried, "it was lose Gallifrey, or lose the whole of creation. I didn't have any other choice."

"No... You're lying. You're talking like this is your fault. That isn't possible. You're the Doctor. You help people, you save lives, you save worlds. How could you destroy your own?"

"I didn't have any other choice," he said through gritted teeth. The entirety of his guilt over the Time War was standing in front of him, personified into a young genius who now could never, ever see the family he had waited for so long to come back to. He tried to reach out to him, tried to console him, but he only backed away.

"No," said Kasteron, his voice strained through tears. He was shaking. He couldn't believe this. Everything was supposed to work out. He was supposed to come home and see his family again, then he could finish his schooling. This was never part of his plan. "Get away from me. You're not a Doctor, you're a monster."

"Kasteron, please, I can help. I know what you're feeling. You think I didn't feel the same way? I

really, truly had. No. Other. Choice."

Kasteron pulled back his sleeve, opening the flap that exposed the controls for his vortex manipulator. "There is always a choice."

"KASTERON, NO!" the Doctor yelled, grabbing for him, but it was too late. His arms grabbed at air, and the one person he wanted so badly to help, whose sorrow was completely his fault, was gone.