4
I Heard His Voice Today
Before Kirk's disappearance
Kirk flipped open his communicator , "Scotty, is Spock with you already?"
"No, Captain. I haven't seen him." Came the engineer's voice and Kirk frowned.
"He was supposed to meet me a half hour ago and he's not answering his comm. I haven't known him long, but it's not like him."
"Definitely not." Scotty convened. He paused then and Kirk heard some muffled talking, "Uhura's here, sir, she's checking his schedule, give her a second."
A moment later Uhura said, "Jim, he was supposed to sub for a class but he didn't show up." By the tone of her voice and the use of his first name it was obvious she was concerned.
"Ok, we're officially worried now. I'll go check his quarters."
"Call us when you find him?"
"Of course."
After that Kirk tried not to run and maintain some kind of composure but it was hard. He had a nagging feeling that something was wrong and he couldn't help but quicken his pace to get to Spock's quarters faster. When Spock didn't answer his door Kirk was left with very few options, the fastest being hacking the door. It only took him a minute. Inside, he found Spock lying passed out on the floor. Kirk immediately knelt by him and started calling his name and patting his face to wake him up. When that didn't work he grabbed his communicator and called McCoy.
"Jim, I'm the middle of my shift. This better be imp-"
"Bones!" Kirk interrupted him, clearly agitated, "Spock's unconscious and I can't seem to wake him up. I don't know what happened but I need your help."
"Where are you?"
"In his quarters. He's breathing but I have no idea if his pulse is regular or not."
"Calm down. His heartbeat should be much faster than ours."
"It's fast."
"Good. Don't do anything, I'm on my way."
True to his words, McCoy arrived in less than three minutes in the company of another doctor.
"Jim, this is doctor M'Benga. He did his internship on Vulcan so I asked him to help."
Jim, who was still kneeling next to Spock, nodded in acknowledgment and gestured them both towards Spock. The two doctors got their tricorders out and started examining Spock.
"His vitals are in the norm." McCoy said, giving M'Benga a look that Jim didn't like.
"What is it, Bones?"
M'Benga answered for him, "He's in a healing trance."
"So he's hurt?" Jim asked.
"Not physically. "McCoy said, then he turned back to his colleague, "You think this is the same thing some of the other survivors are going through? "
"I'm sure it is." M'Benga confirmed.
"What are you talking about?" Jim asked, a little frustration slipping in his voice.
"You know Vulcans are a telepathic species, right?" McCoy started, to which Jim nodded and gestured to hurry him along, "Well, they have telepathic bonds with each other. Family mostly, but some say they have a general awareness of their entire race due to them being… sort of in sync with their planet?" McCoy finished uncertainly, once again turning to M'Benga for confirmation.
"Some of them do use – well, did use – Vulcan as a focus point for their meditation, but I'm not sure how that ties in with the rest or if it's even really an issue. They don't usually share that kind of details with off-worlders, though that might have to change now."
Jim, who had steadily paled the longer he listened, was still very much confused, though rising horror had taken the place of his previous frustration with the two doctors, "Wait, are you saying… what are you saying exactly? "
"That some of Spock's bonds were broken when Vulcan was destroyed." McCoy explained, "And that he might have experienced the loss on a wider scale than just his own."
"You mean a planetary scale? You're telling me he sensed six billions people dying?!"
"That seems to be the case with the other survivors." M'Benga said.
Kirk closed his eyes and mentally cursed Nero for the umpteenth time. It was all the more clear now why Spock hadn't been so keen on giving him a fair trial and Kirk was glad they had made that decision.
"Can we move him? Should we take him to the hospital?" he asked.
McCoy nodded, "The healing trance is fine but I'd prefer to monitor him."
"He'll need to see a healer, too. There's not much we can do for that kind of damage." M'Benga said, then he went out of the room to call the ambulance they had arrived with and tell them to bring a gurney upstairs.
Once they were at the hospital Kirk refused to leave Spock's side until he woke up. He only exited the room to contact Uhura.
"I need to let Nyota know what's going on and tell Scotty he's gonna have to deal without me today."
McCoy gaped at him, "You're on a first name basis with Uhura? Since when? "
"A couple days?" Kirk replied as if it wasn't a big deal.
"Jim, what did you do? "
"Nothing! I mean, nothing bad."
"Oh my god, Jim! She's the hobgoblin's girlfriend!"
"What? No, no, no. First of all it's not what you're thinking, we just bonded, you know, like friends. And she's not his girlfriend anymore… or hasn't actually ever been? I'm not sure I understood her explanation, but I did get that they're just friends now. See? We're all friends. I tend to grow on people." He finished with an air of satisfaction as if it was a big accomplishment.
McCoy rolled his eyes and muttered, "Don't I know it. Like a fungus."
"Hey!" Kirk protested, "You were the one who attached himself to me!"
But McCoy was already walking away to attend to his other duties, secretly smiling at his friend's indignation.
Day 383
"That's not possible." McCoy whispered incredulously.
McCoy's gaze travelled from the scanner to the masked prisoner, his heart pounded in his chest and every fiber in him tensed. The man inclined his head and regarded the doctor for a moment, then with an almost imperceptible tremble to his hand he seemed to push a button under his ear and his mask inflated, allowing him to remove it.
McCoy's scanner falling to the floor and smashing into pieces was the only sound in the stunned silence.
"Hey, Bones."
The doctor didn't need anything else to launch himself at his friend and envelope him in a crushing hug. It was a good thing somebody, probably Pike, had been fast enough to drop the force field between them or McCoy would have smashed his face on it in his hurry to get to his friend. Jim stood unmoving in his arms for a few seconds before tentatively raising an arm to pat on McCoy's back.
"It's okay, Bones. I'm okay." Jim murmured reassuringly against McCoy's shoulder.
McCoy recoiled at those words and punched Jim in the arm.
"Ow! What are you doing?! "
"It's not okay, you idiot! You're a bastard! Why didn't you reveal yourself the second you stepped on that damn pad?! Are you out of your damn mind? "
"I was hoping to get away before any of you knew who I was."
"Why?! "
"Because if I stay here I'm gonna get everybody killed!"
"Who's gonna kill us? And why do you look like you're working for them? "
"Leonard!" Pike intervened, because feelings and adrenaline were getting the best of them and they needed to calm down.
McCoy heaved a deep breath and looked apologetic, "I'm sorry. You have no idea how happy I am to see you in one piece but I just don't understand."
Jim made a pained face, "I know."
They both turned to look at Pike and if his stern appearance had crumbled and his eyes looked a bit brighter than usual nobody mentioned it. "You should go tell Winona and bring her here." He told McCoy and Kirk's mouth dropped open.
"What?! What's my mother doing here?" He grabbed McCoy's arm to stop him, "Nobody can know I'm here. And you need to let me go."
"Will you stop with that? " McCoy almost growled as he freed himself from Jim's grasp, "You're not going anywhere. I'll personally chain you to the wall if you insist on it."
"Shut up, both of you. Leonard, go get Winona. You," he pointed at Jim, "we need to talk."
McCoy left just as Jim started arguing back.
"There's nothing to talk about."
"I think there's plenty." Pike interrupted him, "Start with telling me who's going to kill us."
"I don't know their names, they didn't exactly introduce themselves to me." Kirk retorted bitterly.
"Son, you need to let me help you and I can't if you don't tell me what's going on." Pike told him earnestly, his hands reaching for Jim.
Kirk turned away from him, "Don't call me that."
Pike stepped closer to him and put his hands on Jim's shoulders, forcing him to look Pike in the eyes. Jim tensed but didn't move. "I know you've been alone for a long time, but you're not anymore. I'm here. We're all here. These people have sacrificed a lot to find you and they did because they respect you. They love you, Jim. You taught them not to give up and they didn't, so don't give up on them now."
Jim took a shaky breath before speaking, "They've got a tracker on me so they can always find me and beam me wherever they want."
"Why haven't they beamed you back yet? "
"Because they know I'm here and they're waiting to see what I do."
"Why? "
"Because I'm just a lab rat to them."
"What do you mean? "
"They've tried to condition my mind but they failed, only they don't know it so this is like the ultimate test for them. If I escape and it looks like I did so of my own volition I might be able to keep up the charade, if I stay they're gonna know something's up and they'll kill all of us." Jim related in a dry, hurried tone.
"Is that why you've never escaped?" Pike asked, though if he hadn't been trying to process all that Jim's explanation implied he might have asked a less dumb question.
"Because they've threatened to kill pretty much everyone who's ever met me? Yes, that's quite the convincing argument if you ask me." Kirk's tone was sharp but there was an undertone of hurt that made alarm bells go off in Pike's head.
"Ok, the first thing we need to do is get that tracker out of you and destroy it so they can't find us."
"That won't stop them from coming after us. What then?"
"Then we fight back." Pike said, squeezing Jim's shoulders in what he hoped was an encouraging gesture before releasing him.
Jim opened his mouth to protest but whatever he was about to say died in his throat when the doors leading to the corridor outside slid open and Winona Kirk appeared standing there. She ran to him and threw her arms around his neck. He hugged her back, closing his eyes and letting himself be reminded of a safer time, when his mother's hugs could banish everything that was wrong with the world.
When they finally parted, silent tears where streaming down Winona's cheeks. She held his face in her hands, unable to let him go completely, "I was so scared. I thought I'd lost you." She whispered brokenly.
Jim looked at her. Her curly hair was pulled back in a tight low bun that made her look older, or maybe that was the new worry lines on her face. "Mom, what are you doing on the Enterprise? Wait, are you wearing a uniform?" he asked, taking a step back to look at her full figure, which was slimmer than the last time he had seen her.
She smiled and brushed a few tears away, "I had to reenlist to come aboard. It was either this or go berserk on Starfleet. They wanted to keep me in protective custody!"
Jim couldn't help a small smile at his mother's outraged tone, "You would have driven them crazy."
She beamed and when Jim looked over at Pike, he just shrugged, "I had to keep an eye on her."
"Shut up, Christopher. You're lucky I didn't punch you." Winona said, turning to glare at Pike.
"That's… not exactly how I remember it."
"Guys, as much as I'm enjoying this reunion, this is not exactly a good time." Jim intervened.
"Right. Leonard take Jim to sickbay, you need to remove a tracker they've put on him. I'll tell Uhura to put the ship on lockdown until we figure out what our next move should be."
Before Kirk's disappearance
When Spock woke up from his healing trance the first thing he saw was his captain sitting beside the bed, reading from a PADD, "Jim?" his voice was hoarse from lack of use. Kirk looked up at him, slightly surprised, but he immediately smiled.
"Good to see you awake. You had us all worried, you know? I'm not sure how long you've been out, but-"
"Approximately six hours and twenty seven minutes, Captain." Spock said, already back to his professional manners.
"Wow… you don't relax even when you're sick." Kirk commented, his eyebrows rising, "By the way, you can call me Jim whenever we're off duty or, you know, about to die like on the Jellyfish."
Spock seemed to consider it then nodded as if it was perfectly acceptable. "I am not sick." He corrected.
"You're not fine either." Kirk countered.
"Fine has-"
"Variable definitions? So you've told me. Look, Spock, I'm not sure what happened, maybe you didn't realize there was something wrong or underestimated the problem, but that's not the issue. Just promise me you'll take care of yourself now and you'll let me know if there's anything I can do to help."
"That is acceptable."
"Good. Bones will be here any minute now. He's already arranged for a Vulcan healer to come see you, so you won't be stuck here long." He paused to check the time, "I need to leave now, Pike wanted to see me." He stood up and fixed Spock, "But I'll be back with a chessboard so you better prepare yourself!"
Spock frowned, "A chessboard? "
"A little bird told me you play chess and I happen to like the game. It will pass the time while you wait to be discharged."
"Who-" Spock started to ask but Kirk interrupted him.
"Can't give away my sources, Spock." He smiled as he reached the door, "I'll see you later."
Day 383
After Jim told him his tracker was between his shoulder blades, Bones had made him get out of his suit and lay down on a biobed where he proceeded to inspect his back. Winona refused to leave him so she was there when Jim had to explain he had procured himself the scar on his back when trying to get his tracker out once. He did not mention the punishment he received for that infraction and was silently thankful that was the only scar left on his body from his captivity. He could only imagine their reactions otherwise.
His mother held his hand the whole time, while McCoy administered a local anesthesia before getting the tracker out and destroying it. He then patched him up and used a skin regenerator on both the new scar and the old one.
As McCoy worked, Jim tried to remember the last time someone had touched him. Was it during that last dinner with his friends? Did Bones pat him on the back? Did he accidentally brush his arm against Spock's? Or had Uhura hugged him goodnight? When his mother squeezed his hand he suddenly remembered Uhura doing the same thing before they parted ways.
"I'm gonna get that suit of yours to the labs. If it resists phaser fire I'd like to be able to replicate this kind of technology." She said, though she was obviously reluctant to leave him.
"Be my guest." He said as he sat up on the bed. He let her kiss him on the cheek before leaving. McCoy was still busy giving him a full physical, grumbling to himself.
"I'm okay, Bones." Jim murmured reassuringly.
"No, you're not. Nothing about this is okay. You've lost weight, you have signs of multiple healed fractures," Jim flinched at that, "and I can't even begin to imagine what they did to you for that many bones to have been broken. And your blood pressure is too high!" He finished as if that was the worst of it all.
Jim couldn't help a small smile, half wondering if he wasn't just dreaming being back with his friend. "It's been a stressful…" he started saying, but then didn't know how to finish. Week? Month? Year? To him it had felt like ages, but how long it had really been he didn't know.
"Bones… how long have I been missing? "
"Three hundred and eighty-three days." Answered a monotone voice from the door and McCoy closed his eyes as if the mere words caused him pain.
Jim, who could have recognized that voice among hundreds, felt his heart sink and his head swim. He couldn't have said if it was because Spock was suddenly there or if it was the effort of processing that he had been missing for over a year.
He chanced a look at Spock, who was watching him intently. There was something in his eyes that Jim couldn't define but it hurt him to look at so he looked away.
"We can stop counting now." Winona said, reappearing behind Spock with a stack of clothes and a pair of boots clearly meant for Jim. "We're travelling as fast as we can to a safe location to buy us some time. Pike wants you on the bridge if you're up to it."
"Sure." He agreed, thinking that would save him from a conversation he wasn't ready to have. They left him alone to get dressed, but when he exited the private room he found only Spock waiting for him.
"I will escort you to the bridge." Spock supplied. Not that Jim needed escorting anywhere. He might have been missing for more than a year but he still had the schematics of the Enterprise engraved in his brain.
Pike had obviously announced to the crew that Kirk had been found and as they walked silently to the turbolift a few crew members stopped them to tell Jim how happy they were to see he was alive and well. Jim thanked them and smiled, all the while doing his best not to look at Spock, whose eyes he still felt on himself.
When they reached the turbolift Spock finally spoke again, "Jim, I believe you saved me today-" he started but Kirk interrupted him.
"I just pushed the emergency button, Spock. I didn't do anything. I didn't expect them to beam me up with you either."
"It was fortunate they did." Spock said to which Jim frowned. He did not agree.
Before Kirk's disappearance
"Was my counterpart your source of information regarding the game of chess?" Spock asked as he moved his rook, his eyes travelling from the board to his Captain's face.
Kirk's mouth actually fell open in surprise, "You know about him?! He told me you couldn't be made aware of him! It's his fault I had to provoke you on the bridge!"
"He mislead you to reach a goal." Spock explained.
"You mean he lied to me."
"I made the same objection to him. I believe he was trying to contain further alterations of our reality."
"And he thought we could work it out on our own. Together." Kirk said without looking at Spock. He paused and made his move on the board, "He wasn't wrong about that."
A moment later Spock called, "Check."
Kirk looked suspiciously at him, "Did you just use a distraction to trick me?"
"Of course not." Spock replied, his face impassible.
Kirk narrowed his eyes at him, "Sneaky Vulcans."
