"So, Mister," Lance mumbled through a mouth full of bread, "What are we gonna do today?"

Merlin frowned, listening to the boys frantic chomping. "Slow down or you'll choke," his voice came out rough, his breathing rattled in his chest. He had eaten little before giving his share of the food to Lance. His head pounding and pain all the way up from his chest to his temples. He ached so much.

"Okay," Lance said, mouth now empty. He took another bite, much slower and waited for Merlin to answer his question.

Merlin listened to him a bit more before sighing, "We'll have to find some more food. Then we need to -" He sneezed. He bit his lip to stop from screaming and clutched his chest.

"I think you need a Doctor, mister," Lance said cautiously.

"I wish you weren't but you're right," Merlin groaned. "But I won't. I can't. You know that,"

"Yeah, I know," Lance sighed. He finished the food quietly, letting Merlin recover.

Merlin breathed gently, resting his head on his palms with his elbows on his lap. The rough wood of the bench dug into his thighs as his weight shifted forward.

"Posh smugs," Lance muttered, seeing something Merlin didn't. "Jogging again,"

Merlin shook his head. Leave Lance long enough and he could have a conversation with himself.

"Come on," Merlin lifted his head, "We need to move," He stood up too fast and staggered.

"Mister!" Lance's shout of alarm reached Merlin faintly as his body seemed to disappear. Feeling leaking from his limps. He was aware of his body falling through his black surroundings before he felt no more.


Noise. So much noise. Voices. Shouts. Panicked screaming.

Was that Lance?

Merlin tried to move - to reach him. Calm him down. Everything will be alright. It will. Lance. Its fine.

He couldn't move. He couldn't feel anything. He couldn't even open his useless eyes. It was like he was floating in the noise.

Merging with it. Unable to understand a word of it.

What was happening?

He tried to move again, pulling at what he thought must be his arms. Nothing happened.

The voices were fading.

Gone.


"Dr Pendragon,"

"Yes, Freya?" Arthur turned to her and smiled. The smile faltered as he saw her face, "What is it? Gwen?" His heart beat faster as he took in her scared expression but relaxed slightly when she shook her head.

"I should have tried harder," she shocked, her mouth slightly ajar.

"Freya, what are you talking about?" Arthur frowned, stepping towards her.

"That man. The blind man that got beaten up - he's in the hospital," She bit her lip and took a deep breath, "He came into the A&E just now. He fainted in the park. Looks like two broken ribs and an infected eye. A serious bacterial infection and fluid in the lungs. The Doctor thinks there might be more as well,"

"Oh god," Arthur's eyes widened in shook. But he shook his head quickly, "Its not your fault, Freya. If any one us to blame, its me. I should have done something straight away,"

Freya just shook her and took another breath. Her features calming until she looked like the level headed nurse she was. She gave Arthur a nod before straightening her back and heading down the corridor to continue her work.

Arthur couldn't help admiring the woman for that. She had a strength many didn't. Thoughts turning back to the blind man, he turned away from the hospital entrance.
He had been about to head home when Freya stopped him.

Now, he quickly marched to the lift and pressed the button to go up.

He couldn't leave before seeing how he was.


Beep beep beep

That slow repetitive noise sent shivers up his spine. Fear making the beeps faster.

He opened his eyes to nothing. Feeling his breathing get swallower and quicker. The beeps sped up again. His heart hammering against his ribcage.

His limps felt heavy. He tried to lift his arm. But it was a lead weight. He tried to turn his head but it wouldn't move. Everything was frozen. The beeping kept going. Faster. Faster.

Beep beep beep beep

Her couldn't breath. His chest heaved up and down, too fast for him to catch his breath.

Panic attack.

Those two words vaguely registered in his mind before he lost himself in his own mind. Terror and panic screaming through body and mind as the beeping continued.

"Its okay! You're in a hospital. You're fine," The soothing voice did the opposite to what it meant. Only confirming his fears and making his heart race faster.

He tried to shout but his voice wouldn't come. He tried waving in the direction of the beeping noise but his arms still refused to shift.

Turn it off! his mind screamed.

"Listen to me, honey. You need to calm down. Just listen to my voice and try to take a deep breath," that irritating voice continued to coo at him. There was a slight pressure on his arm, where her hand was. She was trying to comfort him.

Stupid woman! Turn it off!

"What's happening in here?" a vaguely recognisable male voice sounded to the left. Merlin focused his attention on him, his breathing coming in short gasps. "Panic attack?"

Merlin stopped trying to listen as it became harder to breath. The beeping was so loud! It was like every tone was a hammer blow to the head.

"Merlin," his name grabbed his attention. It was the man talking. "If that's your name? What's the matter? Is it the hospital? Can you try to calm down, so we can talk? You just need to take a deep breath,"

Merlin squeezed his eyes shut and forced his lips to make a word. A gasp rather than a word escaped his throat. He tried again and managed whisper hoarsely, "Off,"

The effort was too much. His face ached just trying to force that out. The quick painful breaths continued as the man spoke again, "What was that? Off? You want me to turn something... Ah!"

Suddenly the beeping stopped.

Merlin's mind relaxed then. The pounding of the hammer gone. The only drum beat was his heart against his chest and the roar of blood in his ears.

He concentrated on that and thought of every breath leaving his rigid body. Forcing his muscles to relax. Forcing himself to breath deeply.

What seemed like hours past before he took the breath he needed. His chest expanded widely before falling slowly. He did it again. Then again.

Every one of his muscles relaxing into the crisp sheets that covered the hard hospital mattress.

"There we go," the man was still there. "You'll be exhausted now, so get some sleep. Alright?"

Merlin would have argued. Told him to fuck off or something but he was exhausted. His entire body ached with the strain.

He shut his eyes and drifted into a broken and nightmare filled sleep. Past horrors clawing at his conscience. One terrifying thought surfaced his mind before he was lost.

Where was Lance?


Lance crouched down behind the hospital bins. Hugging himself tight and tucking in his head.

Be as small as possible, Lancy. Stay in the shadows.

Mister Merlin had always been kind to him. Giving him food, finding them a place to sleep and protecting him. Lance didn't know what to do without Mister Merlin. If he had -

No! He wouldn't think like that. Mister Merlin will be fine. But he might be angry.

Lance's breath hitched in his throat, sudden fear crawling up his spine.

Memories of a fist connecting with his face. Pain all over his body. Wetness between his legs and the stink of urine.

Lance shook his head to clear the thoughts. That wasn't Mister Merlin. It wasn't!

That was the other man. Before he ran away. His mothers man.

Whimpering in fear, Lance tried to sink deeper into the shadows. He couldn't stay away from that fist without Mister Merlin. But he couldn't go in to the hospital because the smugs would get him.

The sharp sting of tears washed down his face as Lance pulled himself tighter into a ball.


AN: Sorrryyy... meant to post this earlier! Been very extra busy with life in general. But you have it now so don't chop my head off! Hope you're liking this still! Please review! :)