Chapter 4

A/N: Thank you to everyone who is reading my story and to those who have left a review.


Abby looped her arm through Gibbs' elbow as they walked up the stairs to her second-floor apartment. After unlocking her door, she turned to invite him in but saw that he was already walking away, down the hall towards the stairwell. "Gibbs! Where ya going?" she called to him, taken aback that he was about to leave without saying a word.

Pausing, he turned to face her. "I'll pick you up in the morning for work and get your car taken care of by the time you're ready to head home," he quickly told her then continued on his way.

Abby was confused and concerned as to why he was leaving so quickly; he definitely appeared to be in a hurry to get out of there. Sprinting down the hallway, she grabbed his elbow just as he reached the door that gave access to the stairs. "Your boxers on fire, Gibbs?" she asked as she tugged him around to face her. "What's your hurry? I made cookies this morning. Don't you want to come in and have some?"

He paused before answering and she couldn't quite interpret the look on his face. Was it sadness? Apprehension? Longing? But as quickly as the look had come, it disappeared, and she didn't know what to think. He hadn't said much on the drive over, but that wasn't unusual. He had walked her to her door, which he usually did. But then he was leaving without a good-bye or his customary kiss on her cheek.

His eventual response sounded more like an excuse than the truth. "Another time, Abby. There's someplace I gotta be."

She felt a twinge of disappointment in her chest. "Oh, okay," she replied then stepped closer and rested a hand lightly upon his chest. Unsure of what his reaction would be, she reached up and gave him a kiss on the cheek very close to the corner of his mouth. Under the palm of her hand, she felt Gibbs suddenly breathe in but he didn't breathe out and she pulled back just enough to whisper, "Thanks for today and for taking care of my car." Slowly the air went out of his lungs and his gaze locked with hers as she withdrew further.

Abby could feel the electricity spark between them as he lifted his hand and covered the back of hers, giving it a squeeze as his eyes fell to her lips. Her breath caught as he slowly leaned towards her and dipped his head. With the barest of touches, his lips brushed against hers just briefly, but a second later, his mouth pressed in a little harder and Abby moved into his arms, wanting to feel more.

The tip of his tongue gently touched her lips and she parted them while wrapping her arms around his middle. Intense heat swept through her blood, and she lost herself in exploring the shape of his lips, the texture of his tongue as it moved over hers, and his taste. This moment, which she had dreamt about a zillion times, had her mind reeling as she tried to burn every touch and every sensation to memory.

Gibbs nipped and nibbled at her lips, keeping the kiss light, and when she felt him pulling back, she tightened her arms and followed his lips because she wanted, needed, just a little more. Then his mouth closed fully over hers, taking the kiss deeper, and she couldn't stop the moan that vibrated from her throat.

As unexpectedly as the kiss had begun, it also ended as Gibbs gave a jolt and quickly withdrew. Abby opened her eyes slowly, trying to savor what had just happened. Her entire body was overheated, and she was shaken down to the tips of her toes.

The way Gibbs pulled away and the look on his face told Abby that he was more than surprised at what had just occurred and before she could form any coherent words, he cleared his throat and turned away. "I'll see you in the morning, Abbs."

As he disappeared down the stairs, Abby lifted a hand to her mouth which was wet and swollen from his sensual kisses. She had never experienced anything like that in her entire life.

Gibbs practically raced down the steps because he needed to put distance between himself and Abby. He was afraid if he stopped and thought about what had just happened, he would turn around and go back to her. Back to where his entire body ached to be, in her arms, kissing her, making love to her.

When he finally did reach the small lobby just inside the building, he stopped and slammed his hand against the wall, his breathing heavy, his heart pounding. Anger and disgust welled up inside his body because he had lost control and quite possibly ruined the close friendship he had with Abby. But, damn it, when she had kissed his cheek again, he couldn't stop his attraction, the steady pull she had on him. And her green eyes, looking at him like she wanted something… something more. He wanted to believe that she was trying to coax him into a relationship beyond friendship, but deep inside he knew that was absurd and he had probably just made the biggest mistake of his life. Abby had no more interest in him romantically than… than Joe the janitor did.

Needing a diversion from every thought and everything to do with Abby, he went out to his truck and headed for the hospital. As hard as it was, he forced his mind to think only of the children and the toys he was making for them. He needed to know how many children were patients because he certainly didn't want to be short on toys to hand out on Christmas Eve.

At the hospital he took the elevator to the fourth floor where a large cardboard green alligator greeted visitors to the pediatric wing. Before going to the nurse's station, he stopped to take a look at the Christmas tree that had been decorated by all the children. It was a mismatched mix of homemade ornaments and Gibbs felt a tug in his heart.

Kelly used to make paper chains and snowflakes and popcorn strings for their tree. Their last Christmas together, he had held her up high in his arms so she could decorate the very top of the tree, tickling her sides when he lowered her back to the ground. He could still hear the sound of her squeals and laughter.

"Good evening, Agent Gibbs," a voice broke into his thoughts.

Turning to his right, he looked down on a middle-aged nurse. "Sadie," he greeted and she smiled then hugged him warmly. "The tree is wonderful but there're too many names on it." Even if there were only one name on the tree, Gibbs would have felt it was too many.

"Oh, it's not as bad as it looks," she informed him. "A lot of minor one night stays. Most of these ornaments with names, the children have already gone home." She watched him as his gaze lingered on the tree. "What's brought you here tonight?" she eventually asked.

"Wanted to make sure I had enough toys for Christmas Eve."

"I think you can count on about the same as always," she answered. "It's looking like it may even be a few less. What a blessing that would be."

Gibbs nodded his head in agreement and when Sadie was paged for duty, he decided to walk a loop around the wing before heading home. It was as he was doing this that a gurney bearing a young girl was wheeled from a room followed by her parents. They were both visibly upset and the wife was crying into the shoulder of her husband. Gibbs stayed several feet behind them and when they stopped at the nurse's station, he quickly became interested in a bulletin board on the wall. His eyes fell to a list of resources available to parents while his ears picked up the conversation regarding the ill little girl.

"She's going to be okay," the husband was saying to his wife. "You need to be strong for her."

The wife nodded and sniffed and wiped away tears. "I know… I know. I want you there with me." Her tears began to flow once again.

"You know I want to be, but I have to stay home with the kids," he hugged her reassuringly. "We'd all go but we can't afford it."

"It's Christmas…" the wife sobbed. "We'll be so far apart."

"We'll be together in our hearts," he replied and pressed his lips to the side of her face, squeezing his eyes shut tight in his own effort to keep tears at bay.

As the gurney once again moved off down the hall, the husband and wife kissed good-bye and the wife hurried to follow her small child. The father leaned on his hands against the counter and dipped his head, taking deep breaths of air. A nurse stood waiting with a clipboard for him to sign some papers.

It was at this point that Gibbs stepped forward, took the clipboard, and spoke to the father. "Let's go down here and sit." The man didn't even look up but allowed Gibbs to usher him to a small seating area. Gibbs sat beside the man and waited for him to compose himself. "Where's your little girl headed?" he finally asked quietly.

"Tennessee," the father answered and ran a hand over his face. "Children's hospital."

Gibbs knew the hospital and knew they specialized in treating kids with cancer. "How many other children do you have?"

Sitting back in the chair, the man looked at Gibbs for the first time. "Three and now I have to go home and tell them that their little sister…" The rest of the words choked in his throat as he fought not to break down. "Amanda has leukemia."

Gibbs' hands gripped the clipboard as his heart seized with anguish for this father and his entire family. "They do amazing things at that hospital," Gibbs tried to reassure. "Amanda's going to need you, you and your wife."

Tears gleamed in the father's eyes. "I'd take the whole family there in a heartbeat, but it's just too much money." He wiped away the tears with a rough hand. "But how can it be too much money when it comes to my little girl? I'll do anything for her and it kills me not to be with her."

As the father began to sob, he lean forward and buried his face in his hands. Gibbs felt helpless to do anything but watch his shoulders shake as he cried. Eventually he started to control his tears and spoke some more. "But I can't do everything for her. I can't take away her cancer. I can't take her pain away. I want to be there to hold her hand. I want us all to be together on Christmas Day, but I can't even do that."

Gibbs sat and talked with the man for another hour about Amanda and her brothers and sister. They talked about the father's job and the wife's commitment to homeschooling their children. When they parted, they shook hands, still as strangers since they had never exchanged names. And as Gibbs walked out to his truck to go home, he made a decision on how he was going to help this family.

Monday morning Gibbs picked Abby up on his way to work determined that he was going to quit thinking about and wanting the impossible where it concerned her. They were co-workers and damn good friends and he definitely was not going to screw that up. Hopefully he hadn't already, and he decided he would forget all about the kiss they had shared.

Abby talked practically nonstop during the drive telling him about the plans she and Carol had made. They had the tickets, the motel reservations, and the driving all figured out. Now they just had the hardest part ahead of them: waiting five days for Saturday to come. When she didn't mention the kiss either, Gibbs felt a mixture of disappointment and relief. But he quickly chastised himself for feeling anything, because he was resolute in his decision to pretend that it never happened.

So as she rambled on about the concert and the band members, his mind drifted elsewhere: the toys, his boat, Amanda's family. He felt like he was on auto-pilot as he parked and Abby took his arm as they walked into the building. They entered the empty elevator and as Gibbs watched the doors slide shut, he was making plans for his afternoon of taking care of Abby's car and running to the hardware store for materials to make a few more toys.

It wasn't until blue light filled his vision and the elevator jerked to a halt that his thoughts came around to the present. Abby had hit the emergency stop switch and was now stepping close to his front. Very close. So close, in fact, that he backed up until his heels hit the wall. She continued to advance until she was practically leaning against his chest, her thick-soled boots putting her at equal height.

"Abby…" Gibbs growled a warning as his heart began to thump wildly.

"I have to say you surprised me, Gibbs," she purred in her sultry voice. "Are we just going to ignore the kiss we shared yesterday?"

Her cheek was close to rubbing against his as her sexy voice floated into his ears and skittered down his spine. Her close proximity took his mind back to the kiss they had shared and how much he yearned to experience it all over again. But when her teeth grazed against his jaw, he took action. "Stop. Right. There," he commanded and Abby took a step back at the sound of his harsh voice. "I think it would be best if we did… ignore what happened yesterday." The look in her eyes almost made him change his mind, but he held fast to his decision.

"Oh, I see," Abby finally whispered.

At the sadness on her face, Gibbs quickly reached out and took her hand. "I don't want to hurt you, Abbs, and I don't want to ruin our friendship. Understand?"

Abby didn't understand but she nodded and turned to flip the switch. When the elevator stopped and the doors slid open he released her hand and they walked out together. She said nothing as they walked through the empty bull pen and Gibbs went around behind his desk as she continued on to the back elevator.

As Abby made her way down to her lab, she felt dazed and rocked right down to the soles of her boots. Her heart was squeezing in her chest from Gibbs' response. She couldn't understand how their kiss, which had made her knees weak, could mean so little to him. Had he not felt the power, the spark of passion in their kiss?

Dropping into her chair behind her desk, she didn't want to believe that Gibbs truly meant what he said. After all, he was the one who had initiated the kiss. Okay, technically she had kissed him first… on the cheek, but then he had taken it further without even hesitating. The more Abby thought about it, the more convinced she was that he had wanted to kiss her and the more she thought about that, the more she thought about ways to coax him into doing it again.

Determined not to give up, quite yet, on having more than a friendship with Gibbs, Abby decided to ponder on a way to change his mind. And the Christmas season, when romance drifted around every corner, would definitely be her ally.


To be continued...