A/N: I don't know what Soarin's cutie mark really looks like, and I couldn't find any reference to it, so I've just made up a plot-convenient one.
Chapter 4 – The Wondercolt
"Rainbow Dash!" Rarity cried, her voice a mixture of alarm and pleasant surprise.
"Hey Rarity, what's up?" Rainbow Dash greeted her.
"I'm good thank you," Rarity carefully replied, turning on the spot to keep the pegasus in her line of sight. "And you?"
"Yeah," Rainbow Dash replied, continuing her way around the circumference of the interior of Carousel Boutique, eying over the mannequins displaying Rarity's latest creations. "So I noticed you're a unicorn."
"Why yes, I am a unicorn…" Rarity slowly agreed.
"That's pretty awesome, right?" Rainbow Dash asked, still eyeing Rarity's work rather than Rarity herself.
"Well, I suppose so. Having magic certainly has helped me in my career – without magic, finding gems would be such a tedious task."
"Magic, right, that's what unicorns do. No flying, but you have the magic."
"Rainbow Dash, are you feeling alright?"
"And a horn in the middle of your head."
"Yes… I do have a horn in the middle of my head… That is what makes me a unicorn…"
"But you can't ever fly, right?"
Rainbow Dash finally turned to face Rarity, who blinked at her curiously.
"Well, like, except for that one time when Twilight made you those fake rubber wings," the pegasus added.
"Gossamer, dear, they were gossamer," Rarity corrected her. "Not rubber."
"Isn't that the same thing?"
"No."
"Oh… Oh well. But without those fake wings, you couldn't ever fly, right?"
"Right."
"So if I wanted to hang out in Cloudsdale, or go flying someplace, you couldn't come with me, right?"
Rarity removed her glasses and crossed the room to stand directly before Rainbow Dash.
"Rainbow Dash, do you want me to go somewhere in particular with you?" she asked. "Because you just have to tell me where it is and I will do whatever it takes to go there with you! You know, unless going there involves getting muddy, or wet, or not having access to suitable bathing facilities for more than twelve hours."
"And fussy," Rainbow Dash muttered, eying Rarity slowly over. "You're fussy, and so is Twilight. So I guess that's a unicorn thing too..."
"Not necessarily," Rarity carefully replied. "I do like things in a particular way and I know that Twilight Sparkle does too, but that doesn't necessarily mean that all unicorns are "fussy". Look at my sister Sweetie Belle: she likes to do more rudimentary things that may involve getting dirty."
"But she's still a kid. All kids like to play in the dirt."
"I never did."
"She might grow out of it."
"She may."
"What about your dad? Does he like to get dirty?"
Rarity's face dropped.
"Whatever do you mean by that?" she asked in a low voice.
"I mean is your dad as fussy as you are?" Rainbow Dash replied, silently wondering why there were traces of outrage burning in the back of Rarity's carefully-set eyes. "Is being fussy and a clean-freak a unicorn thing or is it just a unicorn mare thing? Are unicorn stallions as fussy as you are?"
"Oh I see..."
Rarity visibly sighed and relaxed, the glow of emotion fading from her eyes.
"Being "fussy", as you so delicately put it, is neither a mare nor a stallion trait," she explained. "In fact, it's not even a unicorn trait: it's a personal trait. There are plenty of earth ponies and even pegasi who are just as "fussy" as I am. Some even more so."
"There are?" Rainbow Dash asked sceptically.
"Of course there are!" Rarity insisted.
"Name one."
"Excuse me?"
"Name one."
"I don't know what you mean–"
"Name me a pegasus who is as fussy as you are."
"Name a pegasus who is as fussy as I am?"
"Yeah."
"You want to name a pegasus who is as fussy as I am?"
"Yes."
"I didn't think you'd actually want me to name a specific pegasus who is as fussy as–"
"You can't do it, can you?"
"I was just trying to think of–"
"I've lived in Cloudsdale all my life, and I've never met a pegasus as fussy as you, Rarity! Fussy is a unicorn thing, and I can't do fussy!"
Rainbow Dash started stomping towards the door, only stopping when Rarity flung herself into her path, blocking the doorway.
"What?" Rainbow Dash asked flatly.
"I wanted to apologise to you," Rarity replied.
"Because you don't know any fussy pegasi?" Rainbow Dash asked sarcastically.
"No, because I feel that Applejack and I took advantage of you two nights ago at the Cutie Mark Crusaders' camping spot," Rarity replied. "We should have explained the rules of that game to you."
"I don't care about losing some stupid game Applejack invented," Rainbow Dash said, trying to sound casual.
"Well, alright, but I also wanted to apologise about what happened after the game," Rarity said carefully. "I had no idea you had never kissed a boy before. And it's not important–"
"I gotta go," Rainbow Dash cut her off.
"We don't think any less of you just because you've never–"
"Could you move so I can open the door?"
"It doesn't matter to us so I hope you're not worried about us judging you. And if you ever do decide that you want to start dating, I'd be glad to help you meet some lovely–"
"Move, Rarity!"
Rarity reluctantly stepped aside and let Rainbow Dash barge past her. She started to offer her sympathy again, but Rainbow Dash spread her wings and took off, departing before she was forced to endure any more nauseating platitudes.
"Stupid Rarity," she grumbled as she flew. "I guess she probably thinks she's helping me, but I don't need her pity, I'm not a loser. I can totally win this thing, just like I win everything else I do. I don't need some stuffy unicorn telling me what to do and weirding me out with freaky magic tricks. And what's what that horn? Doesn't that thing get in the way when you're trying to butt heads with someone in a fight? I guess it does, and that must mean all unicorns are weak. That's why they need magic, because they can't fly and they can't fight. I don't need some dumb unicorn."
Rainbow Dash looked down at the streets of Ponyville below her, where she caught sight of Pinkie Pie delivering a singing telegram to someone.
"At least earth ponies are honest," she concluded aloud. "They can't fly, but it's not like they try to make up for it with lame tricks. And earth ponies can be strong and fast, like Applejack, and they have a sense of humour, like Pinkie Pie. Hm, maybe I should try to date an earth pony."
With that thought in mind, Rainbow Dash arced around and lowered her altitude, meeting Pinkie Pie as she started to leave the house she had been singing at.
"Oh, hey Rainbow Dash!" Pinkie Pie cheerfully greeted her. "What's up? Oh wait, you're up! Because you're flying!"
"Right, good one," Rainbow Dash groaned. "Look, Pinkie, you know all the earth ponies in Ponyville, right?"
"Of course I do, silly!" Pinkie Pie replied.
"So which one is the most bad at girls?"
Pinkie Pie slowly mouthed out the words Rainbow Dash had just said.
"I mean which stallion is the biggest loser with the mares," Rainbow Dash tried, realising as she watched Pinkie Pie mouth her words how nonsensical they had been.
"You mean who is the most socially awkward pony?" Pinkie Pie asked.
"Um, I guess so," Rainbow Dash replied.
"Well that would be Socially Awkward."
"...There's a pony called Socially Awkward?"
"Yeah."
"...Seriously?"
"Yeah. He has a dark blue coat, a light blue mane and tail, and his cutie mark is a black and white penguin."
"...Okay..."
"D'you wanna meet him?"
"Um, yeah. I think I kinda have to now, just because I need to see him to believe he's real."
"Okay doki loki! Ooh, but I gotta warn you: he is very..."
Pinkie Pie beckoned Rainbow Dash to come closer, and the pegasus carefully landed on the ground, leaning one ear towards Pinkie Pie's mouth.
"He's very socially awkward."
Rainbow Dash's face straightened.
"I can already tell I'm going to regret this..." she muttered.
After waiting for Pinkie Pie to change out of her singing telegram clothes and then following her to what was easily the ugliest house in all of Ponyville, Rainbow Dash was neither any more pleased about meeting Socially Awkward nor any less curious.
"Hello?" Pinkie Pie called out as she tapped a hoof against his door. "Socially Awkward! It's me, Pinkie Pie!"
There was a muffled crashing sound inside the house before the door opened and a dishevelled pony matching Pinkie Pie's earlier description appeared before them.
"Hey Pinkie Pie, nice muff," he greeted her.
"What?" Rainbow Dash echoed.
"Oh, um, no, wait," he stammered awkwardly. "I meant that furry thing I could put my hooves in."
"What?" Rainbow Dash growled.
"No, wait, I mean... Um..."
"It's okay, Sokey Awkey," Pinkie Pie assured him.
"Sokey Awkey?" Rainbow Dash muttered.
"It's short for Socially Awkward!" Pinkie Pie replied.
"Of course it is..."
"So Sokey Awkey, this is my friend Rainbow Dash!"
"Oh, hi," Socially Awkward said, nodding at Rainbow Dash.
"Hey," she replied. "Ugh, do you have pie on your face?"
"Um, maybe," he said, swiping a hoof at the left side of his face, despite the chunk of pie-crust that was obviously hanging from the right side of his mouth. "I like pie."
"Do you like Pinkie Pie?" Pinkie Pie asked, giggling as she spoke.
"I like your pie," he replied.
"What?" Rainbow Dash growled.
"Oh, but I bet you have a nice pie too, Miss Rainbow Wings," Socially Awkward quickly added.
"It's Rainbow Dash, silly!" Pinkie Pie corrected him.
"Oh, oops," he said. "I meant I'd like to taste your pie too Miss Rainbow Gash."
"What?" Rainbow Dash growled.
"I mean I'd like to eat your pie."
"What?"
"I mean – um – wow, it must be nice to be able to fly. How did you manage that?"
"How did I manage to fly?"
"Yeah."
"With my wings?"
"Wings, right, of course! I'd love to fly. Maybe I could ride you sometime."
"What?"
"I mean maybe I could just mount you and you could get me up."
"What?"
"I mean maybe I could just get my leg over you and we could get high."
"What?"
"Did I faux pas again?"
Rainbow Dash sighed.
"Okay Pinkie, who's the coolest, most awesome and most radical earth pony in Ponyville?" she tried.
"Pinkie Pie!" Socially Awkward answered.
Rainbow Dash glared at him threateningly. He looked nervous, but since that seemed to be his default expression, she could not tell if her glower was intimidating him or not.
"Who's the coolest, most awesome and most radical stallion earth pony in Ponyville?" she asked, her frustration barely contained behind tightly clenched teeth.
"Spike!" Socially Awkward said. "You know, Spike the dragon!"
"Spike the dragon is a dragon," Rainbow Dash growled.
"Why do you wanna meet all these new ponies anyway, Dashie?" Pinkie Pie asked.
Rainbow Dash turned her glare to Pinkie Pie, only faltering when the true answer to the party pony's question occurred to her. She then turned her attention back to Socially Awkward, watching as he sneezed and then wiped his nose on his front leg, either not noticing or not caring about the mess he created.
"I can't do this," she said quietly.
"Sure ya can!" Pinkie Pie cheerfully replied. "I wrote a song about exactly this situation!"
"...What?"
"When you want to make new friends, make new friends, make new friends, and you don't know what to do, where to go, who to see, just think of a–"
"Pinkie Pie!"
Rainbow Dash waited until she was sure that Pinkie Pie would not start singing again before turning around and rocketing off. Instinct took her back to Cloudsdale, and when her hooves finally touched down, she found herself once more outside of the sports arena.
"So much for Big Macintosh," she muttered under her breath ""Y'all oughta just get outta them there clouds". Idiot. I'm a pegasus. I belong in the clouds. I don't need some horn-faced magician or some weird ground-dweller to tell me any different."
Rainbow Dash looked about herself, not really expecting to see anything out of the ordinary; but, during her survey of her surroundings, she spotted a pair of pegasi standing in the shade of a canopy by the outer wall of the arena. They looked quite inconspicuous at first: one was a sporty pegasi, her leggy, lithe figure clearly marking her as an aerial ballerina, and the other was a member of the cheer squad, the style of his mane and the obnoxious twinkle in his eyes marking him as the sort of peppy pony Rainbow Dash always secretly wanted to cause physical harm to. Rainbow Dash already knew that cheer squad pegasi and sporty pegasi dated, and she already knew that these two factions met at the sports arena; but despite being aware of the facts, the outcome of their meeting was no less surprising to her.
Rainbow Dash's first instinct was to turn away. She had to bite her lip to stop herself from saying the word "yuk". She tensed, she cringed and she leaned away, but she did not allow her eyes to look away. She had never actually watched two ponies kissing before. Usually if she even suspected it was about to happen she made a noise of disgust and flew away. But she would be a loser amongst her friends forever if she did not overcome her disgust and try it for herself.
After several unbearable seconds, Rainbow Dash turned her back on the couple. It was horrible. She hated it. She could not watch it. The thought of trying it made her feel sick. That meant she was a loser.
Rainbow Dash slowly flew up to the entrance of the stadium, making her way inside gradually, feeling cold and numb as she went. She realised then that the real reason she had never thought about kissing or dating before was because she did not want to do either. She actually thought she was physically and emotionally incapable of doing either. But her friends had all felt so differently about it. It was something everypony was supposed to enjoy, but Rainbow Dash just felt numb. What if all her friends got boyfriends at the same time? Or worse: what if they all got married? Would they still be her friends?
Inside the arena, Rainbow Dash closed her eyes and drew in a deep breath of air, relaxing slightly as the familiar scents invaded her senses. She maybe did not understand or like the idea of romance, but she still understood and loved the idea of competition.
"I might be the biggest loser at romance, but I'm the biggest winner here," she said aloud as she began floating down towards the scoreboard. "Nopony in all of Equestria can beat me on the three-dimensional obstacle circuit!"
"Somepony beat your score."
Rainbow Dash landed in front of the chirpy filly standing by the scoreboard.
"Oh yeah, that's right, somepony did beat my score," she said confidently. "Yesterday. Yesterday I beat my own personal best by 1.2 seconds!"
"Yeah, you did," the pony at the scoreboard replied. "And ten minutes ago somepony beat your new top score by 2.5 seconds."
Rainbow Dash froze, her eyes wide and staring at the half-grown filly in disbelief. Once she was sure that the pegasus was not playing a cruel trick on her, Rainbow Dash slowly turned her head towards the scoreboard, her jaw dropping as she saw her own name and best time next to the number two. She lifted her eyes slightly to see who had dared out-first her, her competitive streak flaring, adrenaline coursing through her body.
Rainbow Dash read the name once. She read it again. She read it a third time, studying each letter in turn to be sure she was seeing correctly.
"Soarin'?" she asked, turning her attention back to the cheer squad filly. "As in Soarin' of the Wonderbolts?"
"Yeah," the filly replied. "So I guess you shouldn't feel too bad. If you were actually better at that circuit than one of the Wonderbolts, you would be a Wonderbolt."
"Is that a challenge?"
The filly smiled.
"You're funny, Rainbow Dash," she said. "My name's Tally, I look after all the scoreboards around here."
"Is Soarin' still here?" Rainbow Dash asked.
"Sure!" Tally replied. "He's signing autographs over there."
Rainbow Dash turned in the direction Tally was pointing, only mildly surprised to see a mass of pegasi waving notepads, pens and cameras in the air. She could not actually see the Wonderbolt who had taken her record from her, but he was sure to be in the centre of the chaos, and so she flew over and began shoving her way through the throngs of eager fans.
What she found at the centre of the mass of bodies surprised her: a sweaty pale blue pegasus with a dark blue, wavy mane and tail was sitting on a cloud, patiently posing for photographs and signing autographs when asked. The swell of bodies forced Rainbow Dash forward before she had recovered from her initial surprise, and she shortly found herself landing on the small patch of cloud, facing one of her eleven idols.
"Hi there," he greeted her.
"Heh..." she said, smiling up at him goofily.
He smiled awkwardly before lifting one of her front legs towards his face. She was too surprised by his action to react, despite her instinct to pull her leg back; and she was shortly glad she that she had not reacted that way as he picked up a pen between his teeth and began signing his name on her leg. A quick glance around told her he had already done the same thing to countless other fans – apparently it was the latest trend, and since she already had his autograph in her autograph book, she decided not to argue.
"I'm Rainbow Dash," she said as he finished writing his name.
"That's cute," he said, releasing her leg. "Do you wanna picture?"
"I don't have a camera," she pointed out.
"That's okay, I have some six by eights right here."
Rainbow Dash could not stop herself from smirking as she caught sight of the stack of photographs at Soarin's side.
"You carry photos of yourself around with you?" she asked.
"I never know when I'm gonna need them," he replied with a shrug. "If you don't want one, I'm gonna have to ask you to move on, I gotta queue building here–"
"No, wait, I'm Rainbow Dash!"
"That's cute. Do you wanna picture?"
"No! Don't you remember me? We've met before, like, twice! And I was the record holder for the three-dimensional obstacle circuit here! Or at least, I was before you came along and... Out-firsted me..."
Soarin's laughed and patted Rainbow Dash on the shoulder in what she almost felt was a condescending gesture.
"You must be pretty good to get a time so close to mine," he said.
"Don't patronise me, you beat me by 2.5 seconds!" she replied.
"Keep practising kid, maybe one day you'll beat me on that course."
"Nopony's ever beaten me on that course before! And I'm not a kid! And I don't need to practise! Don't you remember me? I won the Young Flyer Competition this year!"
"...You did?"
"Yeah! I did a Sonic Rainboom!"
"Good for you, kid!"
"You were there, you saw me do it! And then I spent the entire day with you and the rest of the Wonderbolts!"
"Cool story."
"I saved your apple pie at the Grand Galloping Gala last year!"
Soarin' stopped halfway through signing a photograph of himself to eye Rainbow Dash over curiously.
"The Grand Galloping Gala, you say?" he muttered, finishing his task.
He flashed a grin for a photograph and then began signing another autograph.
"Yeah," Rainbow Dash said. "You bought an apple pie from my friend Applejack, and you dropped it, and I caught it just before it hit the floor."
"I remember my apple pie," Soarin' said thoughtfully.
"I looked a bit different then, because I was wearing clothes."
"Uh-huh."
"And so were you! You had your Wonderbolts uniform on! Come to think of it, this is the first time I've ever seen you without your uniform. Hey, I can see your cutie mark!"
Rainbow Dash leaned to one side, grinning gleefully as she caught sight of Soarin's cutie mark. She had seen it before in pictures, but never in real life, since the Wonderbolts almost never removed their uniforms in public. His cutie mark was a dark blue and black streaked tornado – and even though she had already known that, Rainbow Dash still made a small noise of delight when she saw it, as it reminded her of his signature move that he liked to show off during the Wonderbolts' shows.
"Hey, my face is up here, fangirl."
Rainbow Dash lifted her eyes to Soarin', finding him smirking at her in a way that made her face feel hot.
"I was looking at your cutie mark," she said quietly.
"That's what all the girls say," he replied.
She shook her head.
"I was just looking at your flank," she tried instead.
"We're getting closer to the truth now," he replied.
She shook her head more forcefully.
"I was checking it out!" she said.
"I know you were," he said, his smirk widening.
"No!" she whimpered. "Stupid Sokey Awkey and his contagiously sokey awkey behaviour!"
"Hey kid, since you got such a good time on the circuit before me, how about we go round together. Right now. That's something everypony wants to see, right?"
Rainbow Dash tried to answer Soarin', but her voice was drowned out by the cheers he had just elicited from the crowd around them.
"Me and you?" she said again once the cries had died down to the point where she could hear her own voice. "Go round the circuit? Together?"
"Sure, why not?" he responded. "Maybe you'll see what you're doing wrong if you watch closely how a master does it."
"Awesome!"
"One more and then I gotta go!"
Rainbow Dash waited impatiently for Soarin' to sign one last autograph and pose for one last photograph before gladly following him down to the starting line of the three-dimensional obstacle course.
"This is so awesome!" she said as they took their places and waited for the clock to reset. "Of all the Wonderbolts I could have dreamed about racing this circuit against, you're the one I would have most wanted!"
"You're not the first filly to tell me I'm the Wonderbolt she most wanted," Soarin' replied, winking at her.
"Who wouldn't want to race you on a circuit like this one?" Rainbow Dash responded, oblivious to the true meaning of his words.
"I hope you're ready," he warned her. "They don't call me "Soarin' the Wondercolt" for nothing."
"Wondercolt? I thought you guys were called "The Wonderbolts"? Have I been pronouncing it wrong all this time?"
Soarin' quirked an eyebrow at Rainbow Dash, but before either of them could question the other further, the clock reset and they both took off in a blur of colour.
In the next chapter, Rainbow Dash is angry and disappointed about the outcome of her race against Soarin', especially when he seems to finally remember who she is, but doesn't exactly remember her in the most flattering way. However Rainbow Dash soon forgets her negative feelings when Soarin' makes her an offer she can't refuse.
