Disclaimer: I own Nothing. Nothing at all.
Therapist: How are you to day?
Me: sweats Well…
Therapist: Out with it.
Me: I LOCKED EDWARD CULLEN IN A BASEMENT AND I WON"T LET HIM OUT!
Bella: You what?!?!
Me: Nothin. LIARS!
Friend: Are you ok?
Bella: No I'm not okay. I want my Edward back!
Friend: I wasn't talking to you.
Me: MINE!
Hope you liking it.
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January
I hate feelin' like this,
I'm so tired of tryin' to fight this.
I'm asleep and all I dream of is waking to You.
February
Tell me that You will listen.
Your touch is what I'm missin'
And the more I hide I realize I'm slowly losin' You .
March
Comatose,
I'll never wake up without an overdose of You.
April
I don't wanna live.
I don't wanna breathe.
'less I feel You next to me,
You take the pain I feel.
(Wakin' up to You never felt so real)
I don't wanna sleep.
I don't wanna dream,
'cause my dreams don't comfort me.
The way You make me feel.
(Wakin' up to You never felt so real)
May
I hate livin' without You.
Dead wrong to ever doubt You.
But,my demons lay in waitin'
Tempting me away.
Oh, how I adore You.
Oh, how I thirst for You.
Oh, how I need You.
June
Comatose,
I'll never wake up without an overdose of You.
I don't wanna live.
I don't wanna breathe.
'less I feel You next to me,
July
You take the pain I feel.
(Wakin' up to You never felt so real)
I don't wanna sleep.
I don't wanna dream,
'cause my dreams don't comfort me.
The way You make me feel.
(Wakin' up to You never felt so real)
Breathing life.
Waking up.
My eyes,
Open up.
August
Comatose,
I'll never wake up without an overdose of You.
I don't wanna live.
I don't wanna breathe.
'less I feel You next to me,
You take the pain I feel.
(Wakin' up to You never felt so real)
I don't wanna sleep.
I don't wanna dream,
'cause my dreams don't comfort me.
The way You make me feel.
(Wakin' up to You never felt so real)
Oh, how I adore You.
(Wakin' up to You never felt so real.)
Oh, how I thirst for You.
(Wakin' up to You never felt so real.)
September 12
Oh,
The way You make me feel.
(Wakin' up to You never felt so real.)
Bella Pov
Eleven months without the sound of his voice. Eleven months with out the sight of him. Eleven…
"RING A LING A LING!" The phone chimed. I shook my head and ran to the phone.
"Hello?"
"Bella. We have some bad news." The males voice on the other line said.
I knew what it was. I knew everything. Tears fell down my face before the man even finished his words.
"How?" How was all I could manage out of my mouth.
"Bella. We were all very fond of him. It was a drunk driver. He hit your dad's cruiser head on. We called your mom already. If you need anything just call. Bye Bella." I dropped the phone and it hit the floor. My barrier fell down and all the pain I have ever suffered hit me with a shock wave. My legs gave way and I hit the floor. My head made contacted with the ground and everything went black. Before I lost it, I remembered the 2 gifts still sitting were I threw them 11 months ago.
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"Bella please wake up. Bella please." Someone shock my shoulders. "She's not waking up. Do something!"
"Calm down. You'll hurt her if you keep that up." Said a soft lovely voice I had heard before. So long ago.
My eyes fluttered open and rested on two beautiful angels. I closed my eyes and shook my head. "No! No not again. Leave me." Needles pricked my sides and I jolted up with pain. They stood looking at me.
"Bella. Honey. Are you all right?" Said the lovely voice.
"I'm dreaming! This was all a dream. All those months I shoved the images out. Now my dreams are haunting me again cause he…he died!" I put my head between my legs.
"Alice. She doesn't believe we are here." Emmett said.
"Emmett shhh. Bella we are here." Alice said softly.
I looked up at their faces. They were here. Standing right in front of me. I jumped of the couch and flung myself at Alice. "Oh! It really is you isn't it! I missed you guys so much! Oh please forgive me!"
" Bella shhh. Your tears needn't come. Why should we forgive you. It should be the other way around. We should be the ones saying forgive us. Not you." Alice said setting me on the ground and tucking my hair behind my ear.
"There's a funny story behind that." I said looking down at my feet.
"What did you do Bella?" Emmett asked patting my head.
"You promise not to be mad?" I asked looking up at them with pleading eyes.
"Bella we could never be made at you. You know that." Alice said with sham in her voice.
"Well your house…it kind of burnt down. Well actually I set it on fire…" I sat down on the couch ready for their yells.
Emmett laughed. "Nice one Bella!"
Alice shook her head. "I didn't think you were that desperate to get rid of traces of us."
"I wasn't! I was mad. Really Really mad at him. Your house just stood there taunting me." Alice grabbed me into a hug.
"Silly Bella. I don't care. It's only a house. Where might I ask are your gifts?" Alice asked.
"I only opened Emmett's."
"Really! I feel so special!" Emmett said clapping his hands.
"Well that's changing right now Bella." Alice ran up to my room and came down with the two boxes. They were pretty dented with all the stuff that I threw around. "Bella…." Alice groaned.
"What?" I asked.
"My gift's went with the car Emmett got you."
"Funny story about that car…." I said giving off a fake laugh.
Emmett gasped. "You didn't!"
"Bella…ahh come on." Alice muttered.
"I couldn't keep it. I sold it. Well and the money went to collage funds. Aren't you happy about that?"
"Open the present's now Bella." Alice sighed.
"What if I don't want to?" I challenged.
"Then all get Emmett over there to use you as a human puppet!" Alice exclaimed.
I tore at Alice's gift. "Okay. Okay. No need to use your Vampireness." Inside was a gas gift card for… "Alice! That's to much!"
"I think 1000 dollars is perfectly okay." Alice said sitting down next to me. She thrust her hand inside the box and came out with an envelope. "Open."
Emmett burst out laughing.
"What's so funny?" I asked.
"I just remembered the funniest joke ever that Edward told me." I grabbed my sides and hollered in pain. They said his name… His name…that I pushed out of my mind so many times.
"Bella. Please. It's ok we are here. We aren't leaving. Emmett I told you not to use his name." She hissed.
"Sorry. I really didn't mean to Bella. I'm going to go home…well what's left of it. Bye Bella." Emmett raced out of the door.
I shook my head. "I'm okay. I swear. Don't worry about me please." Alice grabbed my wrist and look at me head on.
"Bella we are staying here no matter what. We know everything that has happened today. Your Dad…everything. Please we are here to help." Alice looked down at my wrists and gasped.
"BELLA! How long have you been doing this?!" Alice screamed.
"I..I." I can't explain myself. Lie to Alice. Just lie to her. "The day after he left…" I whispered softer than human ears could pick up.
"Oh Bella. Oh. I didn't know. If I knew…I would have been back here quicker!" Alice mumbled.
I pulled my wrists out of her grasp and pulled down my sleeves. "Alice I'm not in the mood. Charlie just died. My family comes back. Well part of it anyway. Then you find out about this. I can't take it. It's the only way to get ride of the pain!" I screamed dropping Alice's envelope and running up the stairs.
I pushed open my door and there was…
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What was there? Hah only I know. You just wait every thing is picking up.
Alice Missamore
