Chapter 4: Waiting

Wednesday August 3rd, 9:03 pm

Pregnant: 3 months and 8 days

In a short amount of time fear took presidence in our lives. Waiting became second nature, trying to quelm the fear was difficult. I was sitting with Lily and Remus in her and James' house, James and Sirius were on another mission. James and Sirius had ended training early because Dumbledore needed them on assignements. The Weasley brothers were killed last week and Dumbledore needed more people. Marlene was in hiding half of the time so we were more often than not short on people. Lily often went on missions but didn't tonight. Remus didn't go on usual missions, he was trying to rally the werewolves and get them to join our side and help us. Every person was assigned their own tasks. James and Sirius were used for attack, Lily for camoflauge and sneaking up unnoticed. Peter's ability to become a rat came in handy to sneak into areas and see if the area was cleared for us. And I, I did nothing. I sat and waited for everyone as they went out and fought in the war, the war I was going to fight in but couldn't.

Lily was great at distractions, she kept herself busy and us busy as well. She was constantly talking, cooking or cleaning, trying to get me and Remus involved in helping.

"Where's Peter tonight?" I asked as Lily kneeded dough.

Remus shrugged, "haven't heard from him. My best guess is Cassi."

Lily nodded and bit her lip. She then placed the dough in a pan and put it in the oven. She sat back down at the table and poured herself a large glass of wine, taking tentative sips, a contemplative expression on her face.

"Are you okay Lils?" I asked her after the silence lasted for too long.

Lily bit her lip and sighed, setting her glass on the table counter. "I've just been thinking lately, with the war that," she paused. "That as pessimistic as it seems to do this I want to hurry the wedding date."

Lily's urgency made me think. I hadn't even begun to think of wedding plans for mine and Sirius's marriage. Between the pregnancy and my parents and this war I couldn't fight in the wedding was the last thing on my mind, even though the ring on my finger was a constant reminder of what else I needed to think of.

"How soon?" I asked.

Lily looked at me hesitantly, "two weeks. I mean, this isn't a set plan, everything would be rushed and nothing would be right. But I would rather be married to James with a crappy wedding than not married at all." Her voice cracked on the last words and she looked alarmed, "not that I'm thinking that would happen. You know me, I just like to take into consideration every option and analyze it and find the best possible outcome."

Remus placed a comforting hand over hers, "I think we're all thinking that Lily."

Lily nodded and gave Remus a forced smile. She turned to check on the bread when there was a pop in the living room. Without a moment's hesitation we all rushed into the living room. When I saw James and Sirius it was like my world had stopped. They were both covered in blood, frightened looks on their faces as we came rushing towards them.

"Sirius," I whispered running up to him and throwing my arms around him. "What is it?" I could feel him shaking under me.

"It's Mad Eye, he was bardly injured. We don't know if he'll make it," I could hear Sirius swallow, it sounded forced and pained. "He lost his leg."

I looked at Lily who was boredline hysterical. She was talking to James and waving her arms around like mad. James eventually nodded and Lily looked slightly relieved. James wrapped his arm around Lily and turned to us. "Well," James said loudly trying to get our attention. "Mark your calenders for August 12th, Lily and I will be getting married."

For a moment the war sat in the back of our heads with the good news of Lily and James getting married. Lily was beaming despite the circumstances to which they had to move up the wedding. She came rushing over to me and hugged me, her voice sounding frantic. "You'll be a bridemaid won't you? I've already asked Heather to be my maid of honor, and Cassi will be a bridesmaid as well. Please say you'll do it. You can wear whatever dress you want, as long as the color is lavender."

"Of course I'll be a bridemaid," I said my eyes welling. I didn't think she'd actually ask me. Her and I had only been friends for a short amount of time, I never thought that I would be in her wedding.

"Better start writing your best man speech," James said clapping Sirius on the back. All of our were smiling, the first real smiles that had happened in what felt like forever.

0o0o0o

After two days of Mad Eye resting in St. Mungo's we were allowed to see him. They were only allowing two people at a time as to not overwhelm him. His head had been badly tempered with and he couldn't take much excitement, he was having difficulties recalling events and people and his speech was slurred. The doctor's expected he would make a full recovery, and that he was fighting through most of the curses set on him. Unfortunatley they could not save his leg, dark magic had sliced off half of his leg and now where flesh used to lie is a wooden plank.

James and Lily were the first to go in and for some reason Cassi had requested to go in and see him. Cassi had only met Mad Eye on two occasions and both times he had yelled at her for being a, 'loud obnoxious little girl who was too bright and hurt his one good eye.' Cassi had only laughed at him and told him he was a funny man. Mad Eye wasn't very impressed.

After Cassi came out, with a secrative smile on her lips, Sirius and I went inside. Mad Eye was sitting in a muggle wheel chair and faced towards the window. The curtains were drawn though and the room was dark. He shifted his head once we walked in and his fake eye swirled around, as if he didn't have control over it. As we got closer to him I saw his wooden leg more clearly. It took all my effort not to laugh. I could see why Cassi wanted to come in now. She had placed glittery gemstones and stickers on his wooden leg with hearts drawn onto it. I heard Sirius snigger beside me as his eyes locked onto Mad Eye's leg.

"Moody," Sirius said shaking Mad Eye's hand.

Mad Eye surveyed Sirius as he tried to piece together who he was. After a moment realization flickered in his eyes, "Black," he nodded. "Here to tell me you're throwing a wedding as well? Ruddy stupid bunch of children you are. Lily and James getting married, far too young to know about marriage, not that I'm a wealth of knowledge, but all you children know how to do is hump each other and mistake that for love."

A smile fell on mine and Sirius's lips, this was the Mad Eye we knew. Despite the slightly glazed over look in his one eye, and the lost tone in his voice, his biting remarks where back with full force. He would pull through just fine. "Speaking of humping," Mad Eye said switching his eye over to me. "You're the one that's pregnant right? My memory is a little foggy. Between the marriages and the babies and the war I can't keep it straight."

"Yes Moody, I'm pregnant. Engaged as well, but now I have to rethink this decision as your humping and love speech has really got me thinking."

Mad Eye scoffed, but the sound echoed from his nose, a typical Moody trait. "So, it appears people feel the need to tip-toe around me lately and won't tell me what's going on in the outside world aside from bleeding weddings and unplanned pregnancies. So I'm trusting you two to let me know what's happening, like an oral version of the Daily Prophet. Now if you don't tell me any news I may have to resort to violence, I may be injured but I could still kick your arse."

Sirius laughed and pulled up a chair so he was eye-level with Moody. "The night that you were attacked we were able to catch a Death Eater, Crabbe. We've got him locked up and have been trying to get information out of him, such as future attacks, other Death Eaters, and where they meet. Of course he didn't talk so we used veritaserum. Unfortunatley we believe Voldemort has created a spell or something so that no matter what potion we give his followers they will not talk. We're trying to undo the spell or figure out another way to get secrets out of him but so far we've come up with nothing. It's a little discouraging because if we catch Death Eaters it's a little pointless."

Mad Eye grunted and stared out the window. "Have you tried veritas fides?" Mad Eye asked.

"Yes, nothing happened."

Mad Eye continued to stare out the window, lost deep in thought. His fake eye was swirling around and he drummed his hands on his leg. Sirius and I remained silent, waiting for something. After a while he turned towards us. "Your father," he said looking at me. "He was well versed in old magic, as in forgotten magic, correct?"

"I think he mainly knew about old defensive spells but he could have known other things as well."

"Did he keep journals or anything?"

"Not that I can remember," I said racking my brain for anything familiar. "Then again, I never knew this part of his life until he was captured." I thought hard for anything that may have been odd growing up. My father wasn't a very secrative person though, at least I didn't think he was.

Then, it was as if a memory had flashed in my mind like I had stuck my face in a pensieve and was recalling an old memory. "Although, there was this one time," I said searching through the foggy memory, trying to make sense of it. "I was young, my mum and I had been playing hide and seek. I had hidden under my dad's desk and had fallen asleep there. I remember I woke up because someone had entered the room. I didn't make a noise because I thought it was my mum coming to find me. I then saw a hand reach down and there was a hidden drawer to the side of me. I saw my father's hand and he had a key in it, he undid the latch and was about to open it but I spoke up. He immediatley stopped what he was doing and ducked his head under the desk and found me there. I remember there was a key in his hand, and it was on a string. He wore that around his neck, I remember as a kid playing with it but I never really thought about it."

"Do you know where that key is?" Mad Eye asked.

"Everything that my father had when he was found was given to my mum."

"Get the key from your mum," Moody instructed. "Try to do it soon, I know all of you are caught up in the frilly bits and love of marriage but can we try to be serious?"

"I already am sir," Sirius said beaming as if he was the funniest person to exist.

"You're ruddy obnoxious, that's what you are. Get out and find the key, you lot are bothering me. Don't send anyone else in, I've got to catch up on my beauty sleep, got to be pretty for the wedding next week."

"Don't worry Mad Eye, your fake leg is ravishing enough for the whole of you." Sirius said as Moody looked down at his jeweled leg, it was clearly the first time he had seen Cassi's handiwork. As we left his room we heard him swearing.

0o0o0

"Are you sure you want to go alone?" Sirius asked as I got dressed.

"Yes," I said pulling a t-shirt over my head, noticing there was the slightest buldge on my stomach. "She hates me a little less than she hates you right now. It will be better if I go alone."

"Don't get hurt," Sirius said coming up behind me and wrapping his arms around me, resting his hands on the tiny bump.

"The worst she can do is throw a saucepan at me, I'm not worried," I said turning around and kissing his cheek. "Don't worry, I'll be back soon."

I spun on my step and within seconds I was at my mum's house. The kitchen was deserted, it was weird because all of the pots and pans were put away. Nothing was left on the counters. Maybe she's redoing the kitchen.

I opened the kitchen door and stepped into the living room. I stopped short when I saw boxes filling the space. The furniture was either missing or covered in bubble wrap. Pictures and decoration were no longer out, instead they were hidden in the boxes that littered the space. I jerked my head when I heard footsteps overhead. I slowly walked upstairs, all the pictures that had hung in the stairway were gone. The door to my mum's room was opened a crack and I pushed open the door. Her back was turned towards me as she piled a box onto her bed.

"Mum," I said loudly to get her attention.

My mum jumped and dropped the box in her hands, she whipped around her face full of fear. When she saw it was me her expression relaxed. "What are you doing here?" She asked in a biting tone.

"Are you moving?" I asked stupidly, the answer was obvious.

"Yes," she answered shortly.

"Where?" I asked looking inside one of the boxes and pulling out the lamp that used to sit on my dad's beside table.

"To the states, Texas, with your Aunt Gretchen."

"Were you ever planning on telling me?" I asked growing more angry as the time with her progressed. Was she really going to uproot her life and not let me know?

My mum shrugged, "eventually, maybe write you a letter."

"How mature," I deadpanned.

"Is there a reason why you're here?"

"Yes," I said placing the lamp back in the box and walking over to my mum. "When they found dad what did they give you?"

"Just his clothes, that's all that he had."

"That's it?"

"Yes," she answered shortly. She then turned and looked at me. "Why is there something you want in particular?"

"No," I answered quickly. I didn't want her to know about what I was looking for. She would only get suspicious and futher question me. As much as I resented my mum right now I didn't want her to get more involved than she had to be. And to be honest I was relieved she was going to America, she would be more safe there. Security on our house had been dropped almost to nothing, there had been no more attacks on our house and they had worse things to worry about than my muggle mum.

She eyed me suspiciously but didn't question me, she turned around in her spot and began packing again. "I packed your things in your room, look through the boxes to see if you want anything otherwise I'm donating it."

I left the room without a word and headed to my room. The room was empty save for a few boxes laying around. I had taken almost everything with me when I had moved to Sirius's but I had left a few things behind, some of them I had forgotten to take, other's I had no use for anymore. I sat down in the middle of my room, where a round pink carpet used to be, and took one box and began digging through it. The box was filled with books from my childhood and old journals. I flipped through the old journals and was sniggering from what I read. One was a journal entry from second year when I had a small and fleeting crush on James. I had forgotten I once fancied him, I only did for a few days because he told me there was a bit of pus in my hair and got it out during Herbology one day. The crush quickly ended when he spread a rumor that I picked my nose during Potions the next day.

The next box held something better, it was the picture of me, James and Sirius taken after the Quidditch match. I thought I had lost that picture but I guess my mum found it while searching through my things. The next box was filled with the things I had kept by my dresser. A hairbrush, an old book, a few pens and then the framed picture of my dad holding me when I was a baby. I took that picture and the one of Sirius, James and I and threw them into my purse. I stood up from my floor and dusted myself off. I then walked quietly over to my dad's study, hoping my mum wouldn't catch me. Everything there was packed and his desk stood in the middle. I quickly walked over to it and felt for the hidden drawer. I pulled at it in false hopes of it opening. I figured that whatever spell was placed on this for extra protection would've broken but no such luck. I tried every opening spell I could think of but nothing worked.

I sighed and gave up, apparating the desk to mine and Sirius's house. The door to the study opened and my mum looked at me curiously. "What are you doing here?"

"Just looking through dad's things," I answered innocently.

"There's nothing of yours in here."

"I know, I just wanted to make sure, see if there's anything of his I wanted."

"I would prefer you didn't go looking through your father's things." Her eyes searched around the room and trained behind me, where the desk had been. "Where's your father's desk?"

I looked behind me and looked back at her innocently. "You must've moved it already, I haven't seen it."

She looked curiously at me before clucking her tongue and sighing. "I guess so," she paused and looked at me. "So, are you leaving soon?"

"Yes, I was just about to."

"Alright then," my mum said slowly. An awkward silence passed between us, the both of us waiting for the other to say something.

"Good luck in Texas."

My mum nodded, "good luck with Sirius." Her tone was almost motherly until she bitterly added, "you'll need it."

I was about to apparate away but I took one look in my mum's eyes and surrendered. She looked sad, lost, all hope gone from her eyes. This woman that stood in front of me was not the woman that raised me. This woman was broken, scared, scared not only for herself but for me. Sympathy swept over me and I ran over and hugged my mum. She was stiff at first but eventually I felt her arms creep up my back and embrace me.

"Take care of yourself," she whispered in my ear. "Make sure you keep your dad company."

I nodded and was surprised when a few tears fell onto her shoulders. She pulled back from me and examined me at arm's length. "Goodbye mum," I whispered.

She nodded at me and I stepped back, with one last look at my mum I spun on my heel and was gone.

A/N: Alright so I'm going to be trying to update as much as possible the next 2 weeks because January 18th I ship out for basic (air force) and I'll be gone for 2 ½ months without a computer or anything. So there will not be any updates during that period but I WILL be back around end of March beginning of April. So please don't leave me :) Anyway, the next chapter is the wedding. This chapter was kind of boring but the next shall be good :)