Okay, I edited this several times, but on Word, so if some things got messed up, sorry.

This chapter was really weird. A lot of OoC-ness going on here.

Longest yet! giggle

Discliamer: Not mine. Exept the plot. Most of it. Well... No. Forget that. The plot was stolen from various authors shamelessly. Sorry. Characters, and anything you might recognize from somewhere else are not mine, I just... borrow them for my little fun. Got it? If it was... well... let's just say that I wouldn't be sitting here in sweatpants and a too-small shirt on my bed, with my homework surrounding me. Which is a bad thing, seeing as it's 11:30 at night. Mom's gonna kill me...

Actions
-Parseltongue-
(ANs)
Emphasis or Emphasis

Chapter 4 -A Slight Binge of Insanity

"Siri, it was bad enough with Draco! He spent an hour on his hair alone, and what do you do? Jump in right after him! Gah! Come on, breakfast starts in five minutes!" Harry whined as he leaned on the bathroom door, and yelped when it opened. He fell backwards into a chest and looked up in the face of a rumpled Sirius, who raised an amused eyebrow at his usually graceful godson.

Said godson was glaring at the door as if it was its fault that he fell. He then promptly pushed Sirius out of the doorway and slammed the door. Just for good measure, he opened it up again, stuck his head out and childishly blew a raspberry, and slammed it harder.

Outside the bathroom, Sirius rolled his blue eyes fondly at the antics of his godson. As if he could practically smell it, he got a plan for revenge on Blondie. Well, technically, Blondie was acting on revenge, so it was more of a retaliation prank.

Fortunately, Sirius was broken from his troubled thoughts just as he was about to rub his hands together, cackle, and drawl, "Excellent," before shifting his narrowed eyes around the room in what was surely paranoia. Well, maybe he was broken out of his thoughts after he did that, because he heard a discrete cough from where his Harry leaned on the bathroom doorframe with a raised eyebrow.

"Sirius. Is there something you want to tell me?" the innocence held in that question was betrayed by the sparkling – no, wait, they were twinkling in a manner much reminiscent of Dumbles – green eyes that lay between the two sets of thick, dark eyelashes, and below perfectly arched eyebrows – one of which was pierced with a barbell. Briefly, he thought that he was just as gorgeous as his seventeen-year old self remembered, before mentally bashing himself in the head for thinking such thoughts about his godson. It would be hard enough to keep him from pummeling his younger self if he ever hurt Harry…

"Erm… of course not, Harry! I'm perfectly fine!" Sirius stammered. He was flustered at all of his thoughts of his younger self and his god-like (he mentally scolded himself for using that term before reasoning that it was a way to describe his looks. It couldn't be illegal to just describe him, could it?) godson.

The door to the left of the bathroom opened, and Draco stepped out, looking – stunning – as usual. He wore a silver silk button down dress shirt, tucked into black slacks, which were held up by a thin leather belt. Sirius looked much the same, choosing to try to impress his new students on the first day. It was that, or prank 'em. But he didn't think he could get a decent one perfected within the hour.

Harry, on the other hand, looked like a casual muggle teen. On his torso, he wore a dark green t-shirt underneath a black, long sleeved fishnet shirt. Dark, but faded jeans, adorned with chains and a studded belt loosely encased his legs, resting slightly bunched up on a pair of black Converse High-Tops. His hair shined softly in the light, and you could see the dark green streaks, just barely, that were complimented by the t-shirt. Black eyeliner lightly circled his eyes, and his ears were lined with the usual silver studs and loops. (1) All in all, a slightly vampiric Harry Potter was a stunning sight.

Sirius gulped again, as all of his conflicting thoughts flew around his head, and he groaned upon remembering how his teenage self reacted upon this sight. This would be an amusing morning. Surely Harry, Draco, or he would want to make a dramatic entrance. Ah. This would be a good time to get that revenge. Well, it was turning into a war of revenge. He had the upper hand in that Draco would surely not be able to get help from the Marauders, and Harry seemed probable to just sit back and watch everyone embarrass themselves.

Harry abruptly straightened up, gathered their cloaks from the couch, clapped his hands twice, and mock-marched to the door, grabbing Sirius and Draco's arms on the way. Mentally snickering, he remembered what had caused him to get the urge to prank. Well, it might be because of impressions with the Marauders, but, really, he didn't think it was that as much as the amount of time the two gits took to do their hair. Their hair! For fucks sake! Really, they were lucky! They didn't have to do anything to their hair to make it perfect, but they did!

The unexpected action caused Sirius to forget all of his plans of revenge against Ferret Boy, and focus on the slightly evil look that he might have imagined on his godson's face. That look was enough to make one shiver, which is what he did. This action was undetected by Harry, though Draco, who was looking at him behind Harry, raised his eyebrow. Sirius just mouthed 'Evil face' at Draco, who nodded sympathetically.

Sirius and Draco glared at their slightly sanity-deprived friend as he dragged them through hallways, behind tapestries, and down stairs to the Great Hall. He had the hint of the barest smirk plastered on his face, which made Draco mentally wince. Not a good sign.

Right before they entered the Great Hall, Harry gave everyone their outer robes back, before draping his casually over his shoulder. He snapped his fingers, and the charm that had been dormant on Sirius and Draco's robes activated. He snapped them again, and the huge doors opened with a creaking noise so loud (an added flare of dramatics from Draco, Harry would later assure himself quietly, before hearing Sirius sing-song 'denial') that all of the heads snapped to the doors. Except Dumbledore. He was sitting up at the Head Table and cheerfully plopping lemon drops into his mouth. But he was just naturally insane.

"Attention students, I have some good news. I was contacted last night by an acquaintance of mine, who offered to teach Defense," Dumbledore announced cheerily, though was slightly disappointed when he was met with grumbles, and outright shrieks of protest from the Marauders.

"However, he had some charges that will be coming with him. They have been sorted, and are both seventh year Slytherins. Please make them feel welcome," Dumbledore seemed finished for the moment, and sat back down in his seat.

The Marauders were muttering darkly about their encounter with the three odd men in the kitchen that morning. Sirius, especially, was seething. There can only be one Sirius Black! There's only room for one Sirius Black, and one Padfoot. But… Animagus forms cannot be duplicated. So... god this is confusing. And that Harry dude. A Potter! And Blondie! Malfoy! A Potter and a Malfoy, and, apparently a Black, friends. Dear Gods, what is this world coming to? Sirius was broken out of his slightly frantic thoughts when he heard the doors of the Great Hall burst open.

There, standing in the doorway, were the causes of his thoughts. In the lead, again, was the Potter, strutting up to the head table like he owned the place. Behind him, Sirius and Draco stood, but as they headed up the aisle, the hall burst out in sniggers.

On the back of their robes, words were printed in sparkly, pink lettering. And there were images moving around the words, too.

On the back of Draco's robes, "Blondie" was written in a very girly font, and it had an albino ferret crawling around the words, which would send the students nervous glances frequently. If he had seen it now, he would have probably tried to attack Sirius, but, Sirius was in the same predicament, with "Vain Beauty Queen" scrawled in what looked like bright red lipstick, and hair care products floating around it lightly. Harry, on the other hand, had most of the teenage girls drooling, and several of the men were shifting in what they thought was an inconspicuous manner in their seats. Coupled with the laughter, the students at Hogwarts looked very odd right now.

Unseen to most of the students, Harry smirked. The Marauders, however, sat at the top of the Gryffindor table, and saw it. This made their eyes to widen marginally, except for Padfoot, who raised a questioning eyebrow to Harry, who just winked. Baffled by this, Sirius blinked, and smirked along with Harry. It was nice to have someone on par with his prank expertise, bar the Marauders. Well, it was nice to know that he had some competition.

Dumbledore smiled serenely and silently offered the group lemon drops, which they silently declined. Secretly, harry suspected that he spiked them with a mild truth or calming potion. Hell, he wouldn't put it past Dumbles to put an extremely powerful cheering charm on them.

"Well, it seems that our new teacher and exchange students have decided to join us for breakfast. This is –" he was cut off by three very eager-to-impress men, who were more immature than was healthy.

"Hey, I think we should introduce ourselves, don't you agree? It's only fair." Harry spoke innocently from where he was standing at the Gryffindor table, which he had jumped up on in the middle of Dumbledore's speech. Nods came from the other two, who were now smirking in decidedly evil ways. If they could have, they would have silently bet on just how badly Harry would screw up his – no doubt – highly original introduction. Which worried them. Harry planning was baaaad, especially when he smirked.

With this, Harry took a deep bow, before silently and wandlessly casting a levitation charm on himself, so that he would float over the heads of their 'audience.' Just for effect, he pointed his finger at his throat and whispered "Sonorus."

"Hello Hogwarts! I am Harry Potter! I wanna hear you scream!" Most of the girls rolled their eyes, while the guys laughed, but they all applauded thunderously anyway.

Sirius and Draco rolled their eyes, and Sirius muttered about "bloody dramatic god-like godsons," before they both pointed their wands at themselves and muttered "Wingardium Leviosa."

Harry, it seems, was ready to give Hogwarts a midair strip dance, as he had already whipped off the black mesh shirt and was in the process of taking his t-shirt off. Luckily, before some overexcited teens could take their lead and levitate themselves, possibly leading towards some sick, mass orgy, Sirius and Draco were beginning to restrain him. Sirius shot a Full Body-Bind at Harry, who dispelled it with a glare, before resigning and using the more physical means of restraining him. Sirius floated over to Harry's left side, and signaled to Draco.

Harry was basking in all of the excited screams when he was hit on both sides by his overprotective family.

"Draco! Draco, let go! No, Draco – Put me down! You too Sirius! Don't look at me like that! Fine!" he half screamed, half whined. Shaking them off, he shrugged on his mesh shirt again. A bunch of moans of disappointment came from the whole of Hogwarts. Even the Slytherins, who had begun glaring at the immature beauty, were inwardly cursing and/or planning revenge on the sexy ebony haired teen's rescuers.

He glared at them again, and gently disabled the levitation charms. When he was back on the ground, he acted like nothing happened. He walked back up to the Headmaster, and sighed.

"Sorry Albus. I think I let myself get out of hand again," he mock-apologized.

The Headmaster, however, just laughed and said, "I don't think I've seen them that excited since last year's final quidditch match! Why don't I introduce you again, just for good measure?"

"Yes, of course Alby. Though, my dear Blondie here prefers to go as Blondie, so if you could please add that as his middle name? Thanks." Draco glared at Harry's back, while Sirius gaped at his back. Ah. He had finally discovered. One down.

"Erm. Draco? You know that you have 'Blondie' written on your back with a ferret racing around it?" Sirius cheerfully informed Draco, but he still eyed him warily.

"Sirius! Did you know that you have 'Vain Beauty Queen' written on yours with hair care products circling it?" Draco responded, in mock-horror. Of course, he had already seen Sirius's back, and had figured it was a present from Harry. Unfortunately, he wasn't expecting such a generous gift himself.

"What!" they both exclaimed at the same time, before turning in unison and attempting to tackle Harry. Harry, who had seen them coming out of the corner of his eye, dodged, and slid into the seat next to the Marauders gracefully, who, in turn, raised their eyebrow expectantly at him. Then they chuckled, and nodded their head approvingly. Upon further eyebrow raising, James spoke up for all of them with,

"Anyone who can stir up the entire school like that is okay with us."

"Ah."

"Ahem. Yes, well, as I was saying before, I found a Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, and he brought with him two seventh year charges, who have been sorted into Slytherin. Without further ado, I would like to introduce you to Sirius Black, Draco 'Blondie'" – Dumbledore studiously ignored the glare that he was getting from said blonde – "Malfoy, and Harry Potter, who I do believe you have already met."

Hearing his name, Harry jumped up and was about to take another bow, when he was restrained, once again, by his two keepers.

"Okay, okay, fine. I had coffee this morning. Ya happy! There! I said it! I, Harry James Potter, am a caffeine addict, and I'm ready to share that with the world!" he cackled madly, and once more sighed before straightening up again and facing Dumbledore. "Sorry professor. It's how I deal with stress." Then, he strode down the aisles once again, towards the Slytherin table, all the while dragging Draco right behind him.

Sirius shook his head sadly at his godson. Perhaps he should find a nice muggle psychologist, before the two teens drove him absolutely insane. This, if he calculated correctly, was already close to being completed.

He sighed again, and groaned as he remembered his firs class. Gryffindor/Slytherin seventh years. Oh, dead lord, give me luck. And a slightly saner godson.

Harry and Draco walked into the Defense classroom about two minutes before the bell rang. Draco was still glaring at the back of Harry's head, while Harry was whistling in feigned obliviousness. He had tried in vane to get the offensive logo off of his back, and had tried covering it up or turning his robe inside out, but still, it always showed on the back of his clothing. Still, he couldn't be bothered to try to think up revenge with the Marauders in the same school as him.

He and Harry sat innocently in the middle of the sea of desks, and the bell rang. Sirius burst in through the door, doing a poor imitation of Snape. Harry, realizing what he was trying to do, promptly snorted, and whispered his observation to Draco, who snorted, albeit much more, in his opinion, gracefully.

Sirius, apparently, heard this, and sharply turned his head so he was glaring straight into Harry's eyes, who quite easily stared him down. This reminded him quite a bit of his younger days, when he would argue and Harry would just humor him.

He was roused out of his musings when Harry raised an eyebrow at him.

"All right. Well, let me introduce myself. My name is Sirius Black. Please, don't call me Professor," he shuddered, "as it makes me feel old. Ugh. Right, well, I know you are all curious about me – ahem – my godson, more so, probably, so I'm going to let you all go ahead and bombard him with the imminent questions of his sanity. Which, sadly, probably will not be answered truthfully." Sirius then brightened. It seemed that it would be fun to watch Harry be uncomfortable. Or so he thought…

Harry seemed to smirk even more. Okay, so maybe this wasn't such a good idea. Apparently, Harry was a bigger attention seeking genius than even James was. And that was hard. Oh. Right. That was what had attracted him in the first place.

Damn, these memories that kept suddenly popping up were annoying!

Before the crowds, or Harry, got over eager about the time given, Sirius shot a curse at harry, knowing that he would instinctively either fire back or dodge. It should catch their attention.

Sure enough, he was in the middle of an over exaggerated explanation, when he suddenly held up a hand and caught the mild tickling hex Sirius had thrown at him. He then cocked his head and clucked his tongue warningly at him, before jumping up and tackling him. Several of his peers were muttering about disrespect towards a professor, to which Sirius would have glared at had he not been pinned down beneath a mock-angry Not-So-Golden-Boy, while others were marveling the speed that he had traveled at.

"That wasn't very nice, was it, Professor?" His intentional use of 'professor' didn't escape Sirius as he glared at him.

From behind his back, he heard Draco snicker. He turned his head just barely, and threatened, "What are you laughing about Draco? Don't you remember the incident with Moody and the amazing bouncing ferret? CONSTANT VIGILANCE!"

He then stood back up, dusted himself off, and walked – glided with inhuman grace – back to his seat amongst his fans.

"Right well, that didn't work, so I figure I'll be going over the – er – syllabus, yeah, that's it! So, we'll be studying dueling most of the year, some borderline Dark Arts, the Unforgivables, and anything that might help you in battle. We are at war people! Whichever side you are on, you will not live if you cannot defend yourselves! If you think you could take harry on right now, raise your hands!" All of the Slytherins raised their hands, barring Harry and Draco. In response, Harry turned around, sneered, and flicked his wrist as Lucius Malfoy and Severus Snape, who went flying into the back wall, pinned there. Aryn chose that time to come out from one of Harry's pockets, and slithered up his torso to rest around his outstretched arm, laying her head on his hand. The following conversation in Parseltongue, if anything, scared the others more than his obvious power and insanity, which, through experiments with the headmaster, had been proven to be a deadly combination.

- "Aryn!" he scolded. "Don't ssssscare the weaklingsssssss!" - 'Weaklings'was spoken in English, though it sounded like a fairly good impression of Voldie's scary voice. His voice right now, in Harry's opinion, was pretty damn scary. Aryn just rolled her eyes – a strange sight to anyone not used to it, namely harry.

"You fools! Did you not see the display of wandless magic back there? And in the Great Hall? You must be observant! You are Slytherins! Why don't you understand that you can't judge a person by how they look? They may look weak, or short, but they may also wield a great amount of magical strength and knowledge! And even then, Harry looks like a pretty god damn intimidating figure when he's glaring at you, or even looking at you! You can't just go about taking on opponents and being cocky! That's how I died the first time…" the last bit was muttered. His rant about awareness or – CONSTANT VIGILANCE – was interrupted when the bell rang.

"Ah, before I forget, Malfoy, Snape, as a lesson for not practicing CONSTANT VIGILANCE you are to stay up there like that until lunch. I will not tell your teachers, because it is your own fault. If we were true enemies, you would probably be shackled in the dungeons right now as prisoners of war. Your captors wouldn't be so kind as to excuse you from your next lesson. See to it that you are paying attention next time!" Sirius was practically screaming near the end of his rant, and Harry was looking at him with a strange calculating look in his eye. He had never seen this vindictive streak in his godfather before, and he smirked. So there was a little bit of that Slytherin ruthlessness from that Black blood.

Draco shot a sneer at his father, who grew up to be a cruel, heartless bastard. He deserves this, he thought harshly.

Harry and Draco stood, and went to talk to their Padfoot. It looked like he was breaking under the stress already. Or maybe he had been blowing off steam with all that yelling. This was proven right when Sirius snickered at the plight of the once-rulers of the Slytherin hierarchy. After that, there was no way that people would not be afraid of Harry, who was quickly working his way up to Slytherin leader – out of fear, of course.

1 – Sorry if the whole 'guys in makeup' bit creeps you out. I'm like an eyeliner addict.

Okay, the end bit was weird. Just for the record, I type this straight up. Couldn't read my handwriting anyway, if I did write it on paper. winces

I couldn't resist the CONSTANT VIGILANCE. I think that was my favorite line/s from GoF.

Review, review, review!

Cher-nesssssnessssnessss