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FAIRY TALE 3: APOLLO AND ARTEMIS
Hades was busy tucking his kids in, when they begged for a story.
"But I don't have any stories for you guys," Hades said doubtfully.
"But, daddy," Bianca whined. "Tell us a fairy tale!"
"Fine."
Hades sat down in the rocking chair between the two beds of his children and began to tell the story.
APOLLO AND ARTEMIS
Once upon a time, there were two children of Zeus named Apollo and Artemis. Zeus was a baker and had to go into town every single day to bake bread.
One day, Zeus brought a huge loaf of bread home for his children, which they gladly accepted.
The following morning, Artemis suggested they go for a walk in the woods. While Apollo said that this was a terrible idea, Artemis just told him to shut up and pushed him along the path. As they were walking, they dropped pieces of breadcrumbs so they could find their way back to their cottage.
After an hour of walking, it began to get dark. The two children were very scared, so they decided to head back to their cottage.
"Where's the bread?" asked Artemis angrily.
"Uh…" Apollo said as he chewed.
"Stop eating the bread!" Artemis yelled. "We need that!"
"But I'm hungry!" Apollo wailed and kicked a tree in frustration.
"I don't care! You should've eaten your hot dog at lunch!" Artemis snapped and grabbed Apollo by the ear.
Since Apollo was eating all the bread from lack of a full stomach, the two children became lost.
"See," said Artemis flatly as she was trying to lead the way home, "that was why we needed the freaking bread!"
"But, sis—"
"Stop calling me sis!"
"Look! Artemis, look!"
Artemis turned around. Standing at least a hundred feet tall was a gingerbread house. She began to salivate as she looked at it in its entirety.
Apollo ran forward and knocked on the door. A tall woman answered. She had black hair and warm eyes.
"Well, children," she said. "How nice to see you. Come on into my house."
"Can we eat it?" asked Apollo excitedly.
"Not yet," said the woman. "I am Persephone, and this is my mother Demeter."
Another woman waved from the couch. She was reading a cookbook.
"Uh…" said Artemis. "We got lost in the woods, and we can't get home because SOME IDIOT CALLED MY BROTHER ate all the bread!"
"Well," said the woman, Persephone, "we'd be glad to have you both stay here for a while. Come. I'll show you to your rooms."
Persephone threw them into a cell and locked the door. But this wasn't an ordinary cell. The bars were chocolate and the children began to eat their way out.
MANY HOURS LATER…
"Ugh…Artemis," said Apollo, clutching his stomach, "my stomach hurts."
"Yeah, so does mine," Artemis replied.
"All right," called Persephone's voice. "I'll need Artemis, please!"
She grabbed Artemis by the ear and dragged her into the kitchen. Demeter was chopping vegetables into a large pot.
"Get in," Persephone ordered Artemis.
"Uh, no thanks."
"GET IN!" yelled Demeter.
"Look, lady, I get that you're a goddess, but no one really likes you."
"Oh, yeah?" said Persephone. "Well, no one likes you either."
"You'd better like her!" a deep voice yelled.
Zeus the baker came into the kitchen and threw Persephone and Demeter into the boiling pot of water. Then he turned to Artemis and gave her a huge hug. "Where's your brother?"
"He's busy puking up all the chocolate he stuffed himself with."
Sure enough, they found Apollo hunched over the toilet puking up the chocolate.
"Ew!" yelled Zeus. "All right, children. Let's go home."
BACK WITH HADES AND COMPANY
"The end," said Hades, getting up. "Now go to sleep."
"Aw, daddy," moaned Nico. "That story sucked."
"Silence, or I'll throw you in the dungeon!" Hades kissed each of them. "Good night, my children. Sleep well."
