Love's Unexpected Journey part 4

NC17 rating

I own nothing and expect even less

Thank you To everyone that reading this little twist on cannon!

Olivia cuddled up as close as she possibly could in Natalia's arms. Having the strong arms of the Latina wrapped around her was the only thing that was keeping her from bursting into tears again. If there was one thing she hated, it was feeling vulnerable. She hadn't felt this bad since before the transplant. She was so tired of running. She had run as hard and as fast as she could for the last two weeks and where did she end up? Right back in the spot she had started in-Mary Poppins arms.

"This just can't be happening. I am not gay. I am Olivia "Freaking" Spencer, the maneater of Springfield. I steal people's husbands not their wives. I can get almost anything I want with the flick of an eyebrow or by showing just the right amount of cleavage. How is this possible? I was trying to steal Gus away from you, not you away from Gus. I have never, ever been attracted to another woman before. I am not a les...I cant even say the word out loud! I am not gay! It just can't be! I cannot be in love with Mary Poppins!" Olivia dissolved into tears again. Natalia buried her face in Olivia's hair to hide the smile that wanted to take over her face. She just held on and let her cry. She murmured words of loving nonsense until Olivia could get control of herself again.

Olivia tried to get enough control so at least she could talk again. "Have you always been attracted to women? Have you slept with other women before me?" Natalia was kind of shocked at first by what she considered the impertinence of Olivia's question. None of the other people she had slept with had ever asked her how many men she had slept with. Natalia wasn't used to sharing her personal business with anyone. She took a moment to gather her wits and answer her honestly and without sarcasm.

She adjusted her arms so she was still holding Olivia, but they could see each other's eyes. "You are not the first woman I have ever been attracted to, but you are the only woman I have ever slept with. I've worked very hard so that my sex life is not as well known as yours. I am not used to talking about this. No one has ever wanted to know my history. I have definitely slept with a few men in my life. I know the story going around town is that I've only slept with Nicky." Olivia was a little shocked by that and it showed on her face.

"Did you believe that too?" Natalia smirked. "Nicky isn't even the only person I've slept with in Springfield. Remy and I dated when I first came to town. I know, all the people that call me St. Natalia would be crying in their beer if they knew about that, but it's very true." Natalia smiled at her own little joke. She let that information sink in a little before continuing.

"I have never felt my life was driven by sex. I can go for long periods of time without it and not feel deprived. I dated as much as I could as a mother with a small child and two or three jobs at a time. It wasn't a lot, but when I needed to scratch that itch, I was always able to find a willing gentleman to help me." Olivia started to calm down and was really listening.

"I think I understand what you're feeling. You've lived your whole adult life getting what you want by using your sexuality. You see yourself as the maneater of Springfield and you're happy with it. How can you have feelings for me and still be who you always thought you were?" Olivia was nodding her head in agreement. Natalia did understand what she had been trying to say.

"I had to learn the hard way that if I wanted to be happy in this life, I had to decide to be happy with what was right in front of me. My family is in the past. That part of my life was over, no matter what I did. I couldn't change the choices I was given or the decisions I made. I learned from you and how sick you got that the future may never happen. Right here, right now is all we have. I choose to hold onto that. People will always have something to say about you and your life and usually it's wrong. Even you do it, Olivia. Do you still think of me as Saint Natalia or Mary Poppins?" Natalia took Olivia's face in both her hands and kissed her deeply and passionately.

Olivia moaned as she was pulled from kiss. Natalia was just making a point. "If the old bitties in Chicago only knew that everyone here called me Saint Natalia, after they finished laughing, they would be down on their knees praying for my soul yet again. Only this time they would be praying because they thought I was lying to all of you. No one called me a saint there. Their names for me were quite the opposite. The most common, the one I heard every Sunday as Rafe and I found our seats for mass, eh, Mira, ahi esta la pequena puta y su hijo. Look there goes the little whore and her son. So what am I? Am I the puta I've been called since I was sixteen? Or am I the Saint everyone in Springfield thinks I am?" Natalia reached over to the nightstand for the glass of water that was there. She figured now would be the time to tell Olivia how her feelings started; that this was real and had been going on way before the transplant.

"I was attracted to you from the first moment we made eye contact at Emma's birthday party. I can clearly remember how you looked and that you smelled incredible. I don't think you paid too much attention to me. Then all the Alan induced Phillip drama started with the present being delivered from Phillip. Only to find out later it was Alan that sent it, just so to you would panic and Alan could save the day. I knew how you felt-fearing for your child. I didn't have a crazy person after Rafe, but he came close to dying several times before the doctors got his blood sugars under control." Olivia was paying attention to every word Natalia was saying. She wanted to know and understand how this thing between them could be ok with the person Olivia thought she knew.

"I admired you. Even after you started to make a play for Gus. When all the town gossips tried to tell me how horrible you were, I just saw a strong woman that knew what she wanted and went for it. I know that no one can steal your man if the bond is strong. I also knew deep down that Gus would leave, but not for you. His heart has always belonged to Harley. All that jealousy you saw from me wasn't because you wanted Gus. It was because you didn't want me." Natalia looked at Olivia to see her response. Olivia seemed a little surprised.

"I don't know how many times I've gotten down on my knees and thanked God that Gus got the call from you on our wedding day. Who knows what I might have done. Something stupid, I'm sure, like locking you in the bathroom or something. Then you might have missed out on the new heart." Natalia noticed Olivia absentmindedly rubbing the scar that runs down the center of her chest.

"You were a real monster while you were recovering from the transplant; flashing those green eyes at everyone and trying to scare them away. For some reason, you didn't scare me at all. In fact, you reminded me of Rafe when he was first diagnosed with diabetes. My baby was so sick. I came real close to losing him more than a couple of times." Olivia watched as the pain of that time washed over Natalias face. Natalia reached out for the water bottle and took another sip.

"He hated the shots at first. He would throw a major tantrum every time he needed a shot. All of your bluster was just your way of throwing a tantrum." Olivia was going to protest, but she knew it was true.

"I had been completely prepared to die. I truly never believed a new heart would come. That isn't the type of luck I have. When the heart did come, everything went so fast. Gus drove me to the hospital from Rick's cabin and the next thing I knew, I was waking up in incredible pain. A few days later, they were sending me home. I was so scared. I didn't understand how I was supposed to go on; how to live with a stranger's heart beating in my chest." Olivia took the water bottle from Natalia and took a big gulp.

"I didn't want anyone to see me like that. You were the only one I couldn't stop from coming back. Even Ava would go a few days without coming to visit. She'd send text messages letting me know that she and Emma were doing fine and that they loved me." Telling that story made Olivia realize that was when she started to respect Natalia. She started to admire her strength of character. That was also when she started to notice how very pretty and sexy she was.

Natalia saw the light go on in Olivia's eyes. Something must have hit home. "What were you just thinking about? It was like a light went on over your head." Olivia started to blush.

"That was when we started to become friends-while you were treating me like an ill tempered child. I never really had that many female friends. My sister had always been my best friend until her bastard of a husband killed her." Natalia leaned in and rubbed Olivia's thigh. Olivia just shrugged.

"Believe it or not, Reva and I started out as friends. It was a long time ago-when she was married to Prince Richard. I helped her hide her son that she had with the Prince. Prince Edmond was out to kill the infant. If the infant died, Edmond would still be next in line for the throne. My sister couldn't have children of her own. She and I were able hide little Jonathan." Natalia was fascinated by all the information Olivia was sharing with her. Olivia usually said the past was just that and needed to stay there.

"The last female friend I had was Holly Reade." The look on Natalia's face told Olivia she didn't know who Holly was.

"Holly is Blake Marler's mother. She's married to Rick Bauer's father, Ed. They have been traveling the world. They rarely come back to Springfield. She and I had a lot of fun together. I loved her then and still love her to this day, but I was never, ever attracted to her. I never even thought of making love to her. You . . . I think about making love to you all the time." Olivia looked embarrassed at the thought of wanting Natalia in a sexual way. On one hand, Natalia thought it was cute that Olivia was embarrassed by her need; on the other hand, it hurt that Olivia was embarrassed.

"Why isn't this a problem for you? Doesn't the church say this is a big no-no?" Natalia gave Olivia a sad smile. She put her arms around Olivia's shoulders and pulled their still naked bodies together. She did it to make a point, not to cause arousal. But arousing Olivia could never be a bad thing.

"This is something that I will always treasure. I truly believe that it is a gift from God. I believe that God is love. All the love you feel is his gift. The church is most definitely not God. It is an organization that is run almost solely by men. There are many things the church says or does that I don't agree with. Telling me who to love is one of them." She gently kissed Olivia's temple. She was hoping to get Olivia to relax a little.

"After my parents threw me out, the church was the only place that helped me. Other people offered, but more often than not, the price for that help was too high. I wasn't ready to sell my body just yet. The church's price was easy to pay. It was my time. That's how I learned to bake cookies and a lot of Rafe's favorite dishes. The older women that tried not to judge took me under their wings. The community I found in the church made me feel safe. I didn't have much time to make friends between work and taking care of Rafe. The church ladies filled that hole. I go to church now for the same reason. Since Rafe went to Greece with his father, I'm either at church, work or the bar in Towers. I want so much more from life now. I would love to see if that more could be with you." Natalia knew she went too far the minute the words left her mouth. Olivia immediately tensed and pulled away.

"I . . .I . . .you're not . . .I'm sorry, but there can't be anything more. I . . . I need to get in the shower. I'm supposed to meet Josh at Company for breakfast. You can call down and have breakfast brought up for you. I should be gone till late tonight. Just lock the door when you go." Olivia almost ran out of the room. Natalia started to cry when she heard the lock slide into place on the bathroom door.

Two hours later, Natalia was elbow deep in a batch of cookie dough. Baking always helped her calm down and think. She was hoping it would work today. She was also hoping that this batch wouldn't come out too salty from all her tears. By the time she started to feel a little better, she had made six dozen cookies with no one to eat them. She decided it was a good time to visit Sister Ann at the women's shelter. The kids always loved her cookies.

Olivia didn't have breakfast plans with Josh. She just needed out of Natalia's embrace. When she heard Natalia say she wanted more with her, she couldn't get any air in her lungs. What is that crazy beautiful woman thinking? What more could they have? Did she think Emma and I would move in with her? That Emma would have two mommies?

Olivia peeked out from the bathroom to make sure Natalia had left. When she saw the suite was empty, she called in a to go order from Company. She quickly got dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, pulled her hair into a ponytail, put on a baseball cap and her sunglasses, grabbed her purse and walked out the door.

Once she had her bag of breakfast, she headed towards the park. It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining and there was a light breeze. Maybe sitting in the park eating her breakfast would help clear her mind. She found a nice little table in half sun and half shade. She was enjoying her food and the quiet of the park. She was finally starting to calm down. She took a nice long deep breath in and let it out slowly. She did that several times in a row. She smiled for the first time that day.

"Olivia! Olivia Spencer is that you under the baseball cap and sunglasses?" Olivia just closed her eyes. After Natalia, Reva was the last person she wanted to see right now. But she turned in the direction that Reva's voice was coming from and plastered a sad smile on her lips. Reva was walking towards her with what looked like a sleeping Collin in his stroller.

"Hello Reva, how are you doing? I'm sorry I haven't been to see you since Ava left. Has Frank given you any more information on the case? Does he even have a suspect yet?" Reva sat down on the bench next to Olivia and turned the stroller so the sun wasn't shining on Collin.

"Frank has been very sweet and very kind, but that poor man couldnt find his ass with both his hands if they gave him a map. I keep telling him that it had to be Edmond that either killed Jeffrey or he hired someone to do it. He just smiles at me like I'm the idiot, pats me on the hand and tells me not to worry. It's lucky I dont have to rely on him for Collin's and my safety. We'd be dead in a week. Josh hired a security team and they are making sure nothing else happens. They are also trying to hunt down Edmond-that dirty bastard." Olivia really felt sorry for Reva. Having to worry about your child's safety was horrible.

"Frank is really a good guy, but I don't know why they keep him on as a detective? How are you doing otherwise?" Reva took a good look at Olivia. She could tell Olivia had been crying and it looked like she hadn't slept much.

"Well I hope I'm better than you look! Never mind how I am, what's up with you? And don't tell me you miss Jeffrey. I know you only tolerated him for Ava. Maybe one day you'll tell me why." Olivia needed someone to talk to, but Reva Shayne was not on her list of people she felt like she could confide in.

"You know Olivia, it's been a rough few years for me. First finding out about the cancer, then finding out I was pregnant and now losing Jeffrey. It's taught me some good lessons the hard way. Whatever is bothering you, Olivia, talk it out; if not with me, then how about your assistant Natalia? It seems that you two have become close." Olivia looked hard at Reva to see if she was trying to get her angry. All Olivia saw was true concern in Reva's eyes.

"Reva if I tell you what is bothering me and you say a word to anyone, you won't have to worry about Edmond anymore. I'll kill you myself." Reva smiled sweetly and made a cross over her heart.

"Normally, I would talk to Natalia. But right now, she's my problem." Olivia stood up and started to pace in front of Reva.

"Oh my goodness Olivia, did she break your heart? Did she leave you for another woman?" Olivia's head popped up and she stared at Reva to see if she was being snarky.

" I'm sorry, but you are dating her, aren't you? It's been all over town for months. The only one that doesn't think so is Josh." Olivia started to feel faint. She couldn't get enough air into get lungs. Reva quickly jumped up and helped Olivia sit down before she fell. "It's ok, Olivia! Breathe Olivia!"

TBC