Hello, I'm back with another installment! We're finally getting into some Camp Pining drama.
Also, once again: thanks for the support! It means so much :')
Camp Clod
(i.e., Lapis is Introduced to the Wonders of the Television)
Peridot would never admit it out loud, but...she had been an idiot. A foolish, dense clod. She had spent an entire Earth rotation showing Lapis various devices, and yet she had managed to leave out the most important of them all.
"I can't believe I've never shown you the television!" she cried as she dusted off a VHS.
"I would've been fine not knowing about it," said Lapis, staring warily at the blank screen. She hunched over slightly on the couch. Her eyes narrowed almost imperceptibly. "It looks like a mirror."
Oh. That was right. Steven had briefly explained to Peridot that Lapis didn't like mirrors that much (Peridot, on the other hand, found it fascinating to study her own reflection, but she was graciously willing to compromise). She didn't know too many details, but Lapis was apparently imprisoned in a mirror for millennia, constantly interrogated by gems who demanded her to show them certain locations and events pertaining to the Earth rebellion, trapped and utterly hopeless with absolutely no means of escape...
Peridot winced. Perhaps she should have turned on the television first before bringing Lapis up here.
"Easily remedied!" she said, hastily running up to the device and pushing the power button.
"Uh...Now it just looks blue."
"Not for long!" Peridot yelled back. She carefully slid the VHS she was holding out of its flimsy cardboard cover. She couldn't help but grin as she looked at the label on the tape, overcome by a wave of nostalgia.
"Oh, Season One, so many memories..." she whispered as she stroked an edge of the tape with her free hand. "I can't believe it's been almost a week since I've seen you last."
"How often do you see these?" Lapis asked.
"Every day," Peridot said as she pushed the VHS its corresponding slot on the television. "I usually cycle between the seasons, but I skip the fifth one most of the time. It's trash."
"Good to know. So...you just stare at them?" Lapis eyed a stray tape lying on the floor near the couch and nudged it with her toe.
"What?" Peridot laughed. "No, no. You insert them into the television and it displays images synchronized with sounds."
"What's so special about tha—"
"Shh, shh!" Peridot ran back to the couch and leapt onto the cushion on Lapis's right. "It's about to start!" she whispered excitedly.
I don't care if you're on the yellow team, Percy. We can make this work.
Peridot snorted. "Ha! As if Percy would want a whiny clod like you, Paulette." She nudged Lapis by the elbow. "That's Paulette, by the way. She's the worst."
"Why?"
"Far too many reasons to consistently keep track of, but I would approximate it to around 536, currently. First off, she's constantly complaining. She keeps crying over how she's afraid of getting Percy in trouble for consorting with the blue team, but she endangers him anyway! Which leads to my second point: she somehow manages to entice Percy into making mouth-to-mouth contact with her—what humans call a kiss. Apparently the action of 'kiss' is not acceptable behavior at camp, and the rest of Percy's team condemned him for doing so even though that clod Paulette was the one who dragged him into it in the first place. And worst of all? Paulette knew it would wound Percy's reputation! Thirdly, Paulette is athletically inept. She lost her team's first canoe race by rowing in the wrong direction, and then the second time, she—"
"Wait, wait," Lapis interrupted. "What are they doing now?"
Peridot's attention snapped back to the television screen. "Oh! Team Yellow is about to compete against Team Purple in a scavenger hunt. See the tall one over there? That's Pierre. Leader of the purple team. He is a brute. He's unstoppable—Percy is probably the only one in the entire camp who rivals his stamina. They're in different factions, but they teamed up with each other once to retrieve Paulette from the woods. Although personally I would have just left her there." Peridot frowned. "Anyways, Pierre and Percy were invincible as a team. They found Paulette within mere minutes, and yet Paulette only thanked Percy. The clod. I don't even know why they spent all that time setting out to find her, although it did provide some satisfactory development of Percy and Pierre's dynamic. It's obvious that the two are the most compatible match in the entire camp..."
Oh, Paulette! She's in quite a sticky situation now after Team Yellow saw her share a forbidden kiss with Percy. Will true love still find a way? Or will Paulette have to suffer an injury far worse than a fractured arm or leg: a broken heart? Tune in next time on Camp Pining Hearts to find out!
"Well!" said Peridot, hopping off the couch as the screen faded to black. "That was the first episode. It's admittedly not the best one, but far better than Season Five when the entire camp spent twelve episodes at a beach. What is this, Beach Pining Hearts? Ha! Anyways, what are your thoughts?"
Lapis shrugged. "Couldn't really form any. I couldn't make out anything they were saying."
"What? Why didn't you tell me earlier?! Perhaps we should adjust the audio output levels on the television."
"Or maybe you should adjust your audio output levels, Peridot. All I could hear was you ranting the entire time."
"Ugh, fiiine," Peridot grumbled. "We can watch the first episode again. Here, I'll rewind it. Where's the visual-auditory modification apparatus?"
"Uh, the what?" Lapis asked as the green gem stuck her hand underneath a couch cushion and started digging around.
"Never mind!" Peridot said, triumphantly pulling out a remote from under the cushion. She thrust the the device in front of the television, about to rewind the episode when she had forgotten something highly important. Again. She slapped her gem with her hand.
"Wait right here! I'll be back." She scrambled down the barn's ladder and disappeared, materializing roughly five minutes later with a thick, blue notebook and several markers in her hands.
"Here," she said, dumping her offerings on the couch and plopping down on the floor to catch her breath. "You can—you can make your own observations of the episodes in here." Peridot pointed to the notebook. "And...since my insightful commentary isn't going to distract you this time around, I expect to hear your opinion on every last detail."
"Hmm, alright." Lapis picked up the journal and began scribbling in it with a blue marker. She cleared her throat upon finishing. "My thoughts on Episode One: Paulette is really cute."
"See, exactly! Just write what you—wait, what?"
"Also, Pierre is boring," Lapis continued. "And Percy's hair looks stupid."
"No, no, no!" Peridot shot up and flailed her arms in the air. "No, that's not what you're supposed to write!"
"It's my journal, isn't it?" Lapis said. "Why are you telling me what to write in it?"
"Hmm...then I suppose the only way to change your mind is to let you watch the episodes free of any extraneous disruptions." Peridot picked up the remote, jabbed the rewind button, and headed back to the couch.
I don't care if you're on the yellow team, Percy. We can make this work.
It's color war, Paulette. Doesn't that mean anything to you?
Lapis crossed her arms. "Oh, please, Percy. As if Paulette would want a senseless jerk like you."
Peridot sighed, sinking back into the couch. Evidently, reconciling Lapis's opinions with her vastly superior ones was going to take a while. But Camp Pining Hearts was worth it. Carefully pointing out all of the wonderful subtext between Percy and Pierre in each episode was worth it. And the blue gem sitting next to Peridot, hugging her knees with her eyes glued to the screen, occasionally letting out a snort or a chuckle and offering her own interesting, albeit depthless commentary on Percy's haircut or the pointless background music?
Peridot gave a small smile. She was worth it, too.
I personally enjoyed writing Peridot's rants—I hope they aren't too boring or tedious to read, though! Also, Lapis x Paulette. OTP. Right up there with Percy x Pierre.
The bit about Season 5 being set at the beach was a reference to a zine by Lauren Zuke and Mira W. that was sold at San Diego Comic Con. Simply googling "Steven Universe zine" and clicking on the first link should bring it up! I recommend looking through them, they are full of cute art and comics. Also, yes, I know the zine states that Percy appears in the second season, but the zines aren't canon; I just drew a bit of inspiration from them. :)
Thank you so much for reading! Until next time. :)
