Bleach: Logical Edition: …Oh no, not this arc.


Logical ending 1:

It was a particularly dull morning in Hueco Mundo. Then the 4th Espada arrived with disturbing news. The pale, dark-haired man entered an fell to one knee before his liege Lord.

"Lord Aizen." said Ulquiorra. "There appears to be a species of vampire people called bounts. They are decreasing the number of Souls in Karakura town. As this conflicts with our plan to create the Ouken, I felt you should know."

"I see." said Aizen. "Do you think they are a threat."

"I am certain I could kill them all single-handed." Ulquiorra replied.

"I see." said Aizen. "In that case take Grimmjow and obliterate the Bount species from existence."

"Yes Lord Aizen." said Ulquiorra.

Two hours later Ulquiorra and Grimmjow walked into Kariya's mansion. They started killing people.

Wiping out the Bounts took a few minutes.

Humanity was eternally in their debt.


Logical ending 2:

It was a tense scene within the Bount cave, as Ichigo, Yoruichi and the others all stood ready to do battle. The Bounts too were assembled for conflict; their dolls readied for battle. Suddenly there was a presence, one which they had not sensed since...

"Hey Uryu, you made it." said Ichigo as he saw the quincy enter the cavern where the bounts were cornered by the forces of the Soul Reapers.

"Yes I did." said Uryu. "Now that we have the Bounts at a major disadvantage, let us kill them all."

"Eh…" said Kariya. "Are you sure you don't want to open the gate into Soul Society for us?"

"Why would I want to do that?" asked Uryu.

"Err… really, because I was rather banking on you doing that." admitted Kariya.

"Happy to disappoint you." said Uryu. "Kill em!"

Calling the ensuing battle a curb stomp would not be fair to the Shinigami.

Thus ended the Bount Rebellion.


Logical ending 3:

The battle between Kariya and Byakuya was well underway. They weaved through the forest, dodging and striking. Senbonzakura's many bladed petals glinted as they clashed with the swirling winds. Both forces seemed evenly matched. Byakuya struck at Kariya's throat. Yet the Bount leader blocked the blades with his winds. They flash stepped behind Byakuya, and striking for at his back.

The head of the Kuchiki house, however, was not to be underestimated. Faster than the eye could see Byakuya turned and swung his blade at Kariya. For a moment, hand and sword clashed. Then both leaped back, so as to avoid the backlash of both their awesome powers.

Kariya looked impressed. Byakuya narrowed his eyes.

"I see the rumors about you are true, Kuchiki." said Kariya, while healing the cut he had taken on his forehead.

"A pity that you fall utterly short of the airs you put up." replied Byakuya.

"You rather confident." said Kariya "Considering you are wounded, while I am not."

"Do not think that just because you have instant regeneration that it will make a difference." said Byakuya. "You will die by my hand." his blade fell from his hand, and power surged forth from around him.

He said only one word "Bankai!"

A thousand blades rose above them, shattering into thousands of tiny blades. They gleamed in the moonlight, appearing as Sakura petals.

"You don't understand." said Kariya "A thousand blades, or a million, it matters not. I have power over the wind itself, and that is an infinite number of weapons."

The thousands of blades rose up over the forest and converged upon Kariya. Yet the winds swirled around the Bount leader with such force, that the blades were deflected.

Kariya rushed at the dark-haired noblemen ready for the kill.

Then in a single instant, the thousands of blade converged on Kuchiki himself. He emerged from them, a single blade in his hand.

There was a massive influx of power.

And then nothing.

They stood there, having passed on another by.

For a single instant, there was silence.

Then Kariya fell to one knee, clutching his side. Blood seeped from it. He tried to summon reishi to heal himself, yet the cut was too deep.

He was dying.

"H-How?" he said, his voice a pained wheeze.

Byakuya turned. "It was true that your power over wind was able to protect you from all directions. However, I compressed all of my Bankai's blades into a single sword. Its sheer cutting power was more than sufficient to break through your shield."

"But…" began Kariya. "You would have had to drop all defenses to do that…"

"When a Kuchiki chooses a course, he does not abandon it. He commits to it utterly. He does not make excuses for his failures." said Byakuya as he walked away. "Jin Kariya, your inability commit to anything, is the reason you have been defeated."

Kariya fell to the ground, breathing his last, and becoming dust in the wind.

Ichigo arrived five minutes later. "Byakuya!" he said. "What happened."

"Kariya is dead." replied Byakuya. "The threat has ended."


Logical ending 4:

The gate was breached. The device constructed by the citizens of Rukon had done its work, and the Bounts rushed through it…

…Only to run straight into Head Captain Yamamoto.

"Foolish children." said the Captain Commander. "Did you think you could spend hours lifting a gate and find only normal Soul Reapers on the other side."

"Oh please." said Kariya confidently "As if that was my plan."

"I do not care one wit for your futile attempts to prove yourself a mastermind." said Yamamoto "Turn all of creation to ashes! RYUJINN-JAKKA!"

On the one hand, the bounts had super regeneration. They could recover from any wound they survived.

On the other Yamamoto was Yamamoto. So I doubt I have to tell you that they all died in seconds.


Logical ending 5:

Ran Tao was dying. The energy she had drawn from Kariya was destroying her.

"Uryu." she said through the pain "Kariya is weak, attack him now. You have to let me die, or you'll lose your chance."

"Um hello." said Uryu "I'm a Quincy. My power comes from the surrounding area, all I have to do is fire the Reishi surrounding you at Kariya. Problem solved."

"Oh." said Ran Tao "Well do that then."

Drew the energy from Ran Tao, and fired it at Kariya. It struck him dead on and obliterating him from existence.

Ten minutes later, Ichigo arrived to find the main villain dead, and the problem solved.


Author's Note:

So yeah, you'll notice that Logical ending three was almost played for drama. This is because I actually liked the fight between Byakuya and Kariya. I also wanted to experiment with satire. The others are fairly standard parodies though.