They say that it's better to have love and lost than to never have loved at all. For me, the in-between part was what killed me the most. It was finally realizing that I was in love only to never see if anything could have ever been. Susan was a woman who enjoyed trying to get into my head, not knowing that she was getting into my heart too. The regrets I carried of her had turned her into a projection that seemed to be around no matter where I went; a ghost that always haunted me just outside the realm of consciousness with memories of events together both in reality and fantasy.
Chapter 4
Gallows pulled his black Camaro into a vacant parking space inside the FBI HQ's towering parking garage, shifted the car into Park, gathered his papers and folders, and turned the car off. Once he left the confines of his car and stepped into the dimly lit confines of solid concrete with an elevator door, a lit exit sign, and stripes of yellow and white paint to depict symbols, directions, and parking spaces as the only decorations, he looked outside the open air window, the garage's only source of natural light. From this height, he could easily see the usual commotion surrounding a staircase that led to the nearest subway station.
"You know, I think you're getting better at this job," Susan began as she and Gallows exited an elevator and went into the parking garage, her words echoing everywhere with the acoustic design of the space.
"But all I do is just design the levels."
"Oh don't be so modest. You don't just design the levels. You guide us through them, tell us where the tricks are and how to use them and it really helps keep us alive. Heck, even your daily drills are getting harder for me to do. Honestly, sometimes I wonder if people are going to start thinking that you're the team leader instead of me."
"Thanks, Susan. I appreciate that."
"Anyway, we should probably work a little bit on your conversation abilities too. Words can be a powerful tool in this kind of work."
"So next up is learning to be a con artist?"
"You were a magician-in-training, Ken. You should be so good at conning people that people know that you're going to con them and they still pay you just to con them."
"Gee, thanks," he replied sarcastically.
"I'm just joking. Kind of…Anyway, I'll see you tomorrow," Susan concluded as she went back to the elevator.
"Your car isn't here?"
"Nah, I usually take the subway to work. I was just enjoying the conversation. Anyway, I better get going, or it's going to be next to impossible to catch a ride."
Once she said that, Gallows chuckled. However, it wasn't the kind of chuckle one would make when they thought a joke was funny. "What? What is it?"
"Sorry. You just reminded me of a pick-up line an old friend of mine once used to get a girl. Strangely enough, it worked really well."
"What was it?"
"Ah, nothing important."
"Oh no you don't. If I have to hear 'Magician's Code. Trade secret,' from you for something like this…"
"It's not that. It's just…kind of cheesy if you ask me."
"But you said that it worked, so it can't be that bad. Come on. I want to hear it."
Gallows quickly shook his head as he brought his mind back to reality, bending the trick coin in his pocket back and forth over and over again as he made his way to the elevator and readied himself for the big reveal of his plan to his team. If I don't stop doing this to myself, I swear I'm going to wind up breaking this coin.
The team magician sat back in the conference room chair with his hands folded in front of his face as he awaited the remaining members of his team. It had been about three weeks since he sent for each of the members of his team to do their own individual research, and many of them have been giving him updates during that time. He had begun to formulate a plan based on what they had told him thus far, but he had been keeping it pretty close to the chest, heeding Taylor's warning.
Russell was the first to enter into the conference room, taking his seat at the other end of the table. Landers came in soon after and took a seat to Gallows's left. Takkins came in next and took her seat two chairs away from Gallows's right. Reeve was the last to enter and took the empty chair between Gallows and Takkins, beaming as his female colleague shot him a look of irritation. "Alright, now that everyone's here, let's begin. Our target is Harold Pallidino, a man with subtle connections to New York's criminal underworld, but seemingly no concrete evidence to substantiate these connections. Landers, let's start with you."
"Alright," the burly black man started, "I've checked in with NYPD's narcotics division about the rival drug market that Pallidino is supposedly connected to. It turns out that the drugs that are getting pushed originate from other countries including Mexico, Guatemala, Nicaragua, and Costa Rica."
"Hold on," Gallows interrupted. "Didn't you say earlier that this market was competing against the Latin Kings?"
"Yes I did. And given the origin of these drugs, NYPD thinks that MS-13 could be the importers. They operate in both North and Central America, and they have a long standing rivalry against the Kings."
"Anything else?"
"Yeah. I've also been tailing Pallidino, and it turns out that he frequents an underground establishment called the Illusion."
"Sounds like your kind of place already, boss," Reeve jokingly piped in.
"Agreed," Gallows replied.
"What?"
"With no solid evidence to his activities concerning the Latin Kings, MS-13, or even the Five Families, we need to put him in a familiar place where he feels he can lower his guard and bring in the projections of the people he's connected to."
"So we're doing a conversation extraction?" Landers asked.
"That's right."
"Conversation extraction?" Takkins asked
"Remember how I demonstrated that you can get information from a subject's subconscious by talking to their projections before? That's what we're going to be doing," Gallows replied. "Reeve, you and I are going to check this place out ourselves and create a dream level around this establishment once we make our move."
"Just the two of you?" Russell asked.
"Goons like the guys we're dealing with here can sniff out cops like they're chain smokers," Reeve replied. "Best to let the two best cons in the team check this place out."
Gallows cleared his throat after being called a con and continued. "Moving on, Russell, what did you manage to dig up?"
"Well," began the rugged man, "first off, there doesn't seem to be any indication that Pallidino has been trained. Secondly, I took a look into some of his personnel within his broker business. It turns out that his right hand man, Jonathan Conrad, also handles the books, so if anyone knows where the money is coming from, it's him."
"Conrad also has a criminal record for racketeering. He could be instrumental in organizing the shakedowns," Landers interrupted.
"Then it looks like I picked the right guy," Reeve interjected once more with a boastful tone.
"What do you mean?" asked Takkins.
"I took a look into some of Pallidino's contacts and decided to take up a fairly high position in Pallidino's broker business so I could do my own research."
"How the heck did you manage to get a high level position in a major New York stock business in less than three weeks?"
"Oh, I have my ways, sweet cheeks."
"Sweet cheeks?" Takkins shouted.
"Save it for after the meeting, you two. Now then, Reeve, if you would please continue."
"My pleasure. Anyway, while I was there, I was observing Conrad the most, so while we're in the dream, I can take on Conrad's appearance, talk to Pallidino personally and maybe get him to divulge a little more information from his own lips."
"I like the sound of that," Gallows picked up. "Okay, here's the plan. Reeve and I will investigate the Illusion. Once we're done there, I'll construct a maze based on the establishment while Reeve constructs the dream itself. Once we make our move, Takkins, Landers, and I will find some projections to try and extract information from while Reeve takes on Conrad's appearance and talks to Pallidino directly. Russell, I'll also construct a secure room, so while we're doing our conversation extractions, you'll navigate the maze, go inside the room, and gather hard, detailed information on the things that Reeve can get Pallidino to talk about. Any questions?"
Takkins raised her hand for a moment and replied, "Do you want me to give you Pallidino's schedule?"
"After the meeting."
"Wait. Isn't it important to know when we're going to make our move and where?" Russell asked.
"I'll let you know once I get a better idea of what he's going to do and as we get closer to D-day, so be ready at any time."
"What? How are we supposed to prepare to make our move when we don't even know when we're going to do it?" Russell nearly shouted.
"I'm with Russell on this," Landers said. "It's not like you to give us such little advance warning."
"Magician's code. Trade secret."
The three men in the conference room groaned once he uttered that line. Perhaps the only thing more annoying than how often he said it was his absolute resolve to silence once he said it in a serious situation. "If you're that concerned with preparation, then I suggest you start preparing now. Alright team. Dismissed."
It was getting close to the end of the day, and Takkins was getting ready to go home for the night. Grabbing her jacket and her folders, she left her desk and made her way to the elevator. As she passed through the stainless steel mechanized doors, she realized that she had yet to give Gallows Pallidino's schedule. Pressing the button for the fourth floor, she stood still as she felt the brief shift of momentum as the elevator descended and stopped at the floor she had assigned.
She exited the elevator and passed by a small room. Through the solitary window in the enclosed space, she could see Gallows lying asleep connected to a PASIV device. It was the very same room that she had her first experience with dream-sharing. She saw him do this quite often since they were given the assignment. Sometimes Reeve would be hooked up as well, and the team forger had always woken up before the architect. He explained that he was helping Gallows with some of the preliminary layouts and tricks that would be involved in the dream, but he always wanted to stay a little longer to work on the level a little more. With her curiosity getting the better of her, she went inside the room, took a seat next to Gallows, attached a tube from the complex machine to her left wrist, and reclined back.
Takkins looked around the dimly lit twelve hundred seat auditorium and noticed that every single plush, wine red vinyl seat had its main cushion turned upward save for her own. As she turned her gaze towards the stage, she saw one man crouching down and going through a cardboard box, set against a large backdrop of random memorabilia including a carousel horse, a wire frame globe, a fancy wooden chair, an oak table with some object placed on top that was obscured by a large white sheet, and many other larger objects that were obscured by shadow. She immediately recognized the man who was positioned center stage as Kenneth Gallows. The magician then pulled out what appeared to be a 24"x24" leather book and turned through each page, savoring the contents as a song began to play in the background.
I send a message to you
I close my eyes, and hope it gets through
It's in the language of love
It's in your touch. There in your mouth.
As Gallows continued to go through the book, movement came from underneath the sheet that obscured the object placed on top of the table. That object turned out to be a red-haired woman sitting in a second fancy chair, stretching her neck, and fixing her gaze upon the man going through the book.
I wonder if you hear me tonight
Sometimes you're so far away
I want to have you near me tonight
Do you belong to me?
Susan Eurydice slowly made her way down the table, never once taking her eyes off Gallows.
Who loves you? Who you gonna run to?
Who loves you? Whatcha gonna do about it?
Who loves you? Who you gonna run to?
Who loves you? Whatcha gonna do about it now?
The magician immediately placed his right hand on her two-ring adorned left hand as soon as she placed her hands on his arms and her head on his shoulder. He then quickly turned around to face her and they embraced as if they were long lost lovers just before leading her to center stage.
So tired, I can't fall asleep
I close my eyes, and breathe in the heat
I've got this passion for you
Like inspiration, out of the blue
Gallows then picked her up and slowly twirled her around before slowly setting her down. Eurydice then placed her back against Gallows's front, took his hands, and wrapped his arms around her for another embrace, entwining her fingers with his own for a brief moment.
I wonder if you hear me tonight
Sometimes you're so far away
I want to have you near me tonight
Do you belong to me?
He then led her back to where the box was and crouched down by the right side of the box while she did the same on the opposite side. Gallows then pulled a string out of the box, held the top end of the string between his left thumb and index finger, and lit the bottom end on fire, the brilliant flame rapidly chasing the remaining length of the string. Once it reached the top, Gallows slightly flicked his wrist, and a piece of yellow cloth, longer than the string that was in its place, descended from Gallows's fingertips. He then quickly grabbed the bottom portion of the cloth with his right hand, brought it above his left, and slowly lowered it to reveal a rose being supported by his left hand. He then kissed the rose before handing it to Eurydice who smelled it and kissed his cheek upon receiving it.
Who loves you? Who you gonna run to?
Who loves you? Whatcha gonna do about it?
Who loves you? Who you gonna run to?
Who loves you? Whatcha gonna do about it now?
The red-haired woman then grabbed a stray sheet behind the box, approached Gallows again from behind, and kissed his cheek again after draping the sheet over his shoulders. She then playfully moved the sheet from his shoulders and completely covered his head and quickly made her way back to the table. Gallows pulled the sheet off of him as quickly as he could, desperate to prevent what he knew was coming next. He turned to face the table, but Eurydice had already taken her place in the seat on the table that she came from and placed the sheet that covered her originally over herself again. Gallows saw there was still a large lump in the sheet where her head was and moved the table from side to side, revealing that there was no trap door or tunnel underneath for her to escape. However, he knew that wasn't going to matter. He climbed on top of the table and prepared himself for what was to come.
Who loves you? Who you gonna run to?
Who loves you? Whatcha gonna do about it?
Who loves you? Who you gonna run to?
Who loves you? Whatcha gonna do about it?
Who loves you? Who you gonna run to?
Who loves you? Whatcha gonna do about it?
Who loves you? Who you gonna run to?
Who loves you? Whatcha gonna do about it now?
Whatcha gonna do about it now?
Gallows grabbed the sheet from behind and quickly pulled it back, revealing a solitary and empty chair.
I send a message to you
I close my eyes and hope it gets through…
The magician then went back to the cardboard box to look through the book once more. What he didn't expect was seeing Takkins reading through the book. After glancing at some of the pages, she turned her gaze toward her leader. "Nice performance. Houdini trick?"
"Copperfield, actually. It's called 'Attic'."
Takkins could tell that he was upset, and after going through the book, perhaps rightfully so. She opened up the book and turned it towards him, revealing that the book was in fact a photo album of Gallows and Susan both in wedding attire. "These pictures are very good and vivid considering that they're of an even that never happened."
"Reeve told you, huh?"
"Only that you two never dated, much less married. However, I get the feeling that there's a connection between these pictures and why you're projection of her has an engagement ring and wedding band."
"You may become a good extractor yet," Gallows replied, now trying to cover his irritation of being revealed with a joke.
Takkins's face betrayed no emotion, clearly not finding the joke funny. "Tell me about her."
"Why do you want to know?"
"If I'm going to see her in every dream you're in, no matter whose dream it is, I'd like to know what I'm going to deal with."
Gallows sighed and looked away for a little bit. "She was a forger like Reeve, the team leader, and one of its first members. Aside from Taylor, she was the first person I met on the team. She was very smart and persistent to a fault at times. She would always come by to solve some mazes I had drawn up. I guess she just had a thing for picking at my brain. Maybe that's what drew me to her…"
"Reeve also said that you didn't gather the courage to ask her out until she died."
"Yeah. I always felt an attraction toward her, but I never acted on it. She was my boss, and there was no way to tell if her constant socializing with me was anything beyond platonic."
"So what changed your mind?"
"…I had a dream."
"Seriously?"
"Yep. I've had a few dreams of her before, but this one was so vivid that I couldn't forget it if I tried. And believe me, I've tried."
"Let me guess. You dreamed that the two of you were married."
"Starting from our honeymoon and ending on our one year anniversary. Every day, every night, every moment was so clear and wonderful. If that dream was a taste of forever, I would have done anything to make it real."
"So that's the regret you have of her. She was gone, and you couldn't make that dream come true."
"Right…"
His voice was much softer now. He had never talked to this extent about his feelings for Susan with anyone before including Reeve. Takkins could tell from his face that while talking was relieving some of his stress, the pain wasn't going away. And the next question may be the most painful yet. "Gallows…how did she die?"
Gallows's face was a mix of sadness and frustration, possibly even anger. He turned his head upward and took a deep breath. "…I don't know."
That response was the last one Takkins had expected to hear. "You don't…what do you mean you don't know?"
"I mean exactly as it sounds."
"But there had to have been some autopsy or obituary or-"
"There wasn't, okay? No autopsy, no death certificate, no obituary, no report, no body, no funeral, nothing! Just a piece of memo stationary left on my desk saying that she's dead! Like that one little scrap of paper was all she ever meant to them!"
Gallows took in another deep breath and looked at Takkins. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have taken it out on you."
Many other people would have been understanding and consoling after an outburst like that. Others might have been frustrated, and rightfully so. Takkins, on the other hand, had a look on her face akin to that of a light bulb engaging with a new thought. "Earlier, you've said you tried to forget her. How have you done that?"
"First, I spent more time on the PASIV so I could lose my ability to naturally dream and risk reliving it again. Then I tried to consciously block out thoughts of the past of her. But no matter what I do, her memory is always haunting me like a ghost. Every little thing is starting to remind me of her. Even my projection of her is starting to appear in every dream I'm in. It's like the harder I try to forget her, the more I remember her."
"I don't think consciously trying to forget her is going to help."
"Then what would you suggest?"
"More details."
"Huh?"
"If you ask me, the problem comes from the fact that you know very little of her death. All you got was a sheet of paper saying that she's dead. You're a professional extractor and an illusionist on top of that. You should know more than anyone that simple words are the first veil of deception. For all you know, she may not even be dead."
"No, I know-"
"Because someone else told you. I know you're trying to accept that she's dead, but you're trying to get to the last stage of grieving before you clear the first. No matter how hard you try to rationalize it or deny it, there's still some part of you deep within your subconscious that can't accept that she's dead."
"Makes sense as to why her projection acts the way she does. She's the combination of fantasy and reality."
"Of wanting to be with her and knowing that you can't be with her."
"Right."
"They say that a ghost can't move on into the next life until some unfinished task is complete. If you're going to be able to move on, you have to gather more details and prove beyond the shadow of a doubt that she's dead. Only then can you finally put her to rest."
Gallows smiled and chuckled for a moment. "What? What is it?" Takkins asked.
"Looks like you wound up being assigned to be a psychiatrist anyway."
