Of Love and Learning
By: Sailor Aurora Helios
Chapter 3
Insanity
~Author Notes~
This is in Quatre Point Of View. These are mostly the thoughts going through his head...
~~~~~
I stood there on the stairs and heard a door close. Duo was dead serious, he was probably in Deathscythe by now. I could stop him, what if he goes to the colonies and Heero comes home. I ran out towards the hanger but Duo had already closed the cockpit door. I walked back inside.
It's been a week since he left. It's so quiet. I can't take it! Wufei and Trowa always have something to do to take there minds of everything. What am I supposed to do? I can feel it inside me. The quiet is driving me insane. Obviously Duo hasn't found Heero or he'd be home by now. I'm sitting on the sofa in the living room. That stupid clock just keeps ticking. Tick, tock. Tick, tock. Tick, Tock! I need help but I have no one to ask. It's so quiet....tick tock..tick tock. Insane yes we'll all go insane from the silence. One by one each of us will go insane, first it will be me then Trowa then Wufei. Duo and Heero? Heero's been insane as long as we've known him...we just never noticed. Duo? He went insane when Heero stopped contacting us. B..but with if Duo did find Heero? What if there off at some sleezy bar not giving a shit about us. Well, they never did care about us in the first place. Tick, tock. Tick, tock. I know what I'll do! I go to that stupid colony, find Heero and kill him. Yes! I must kill him! Then Duo will find Heero dead and come stop the quiet. Yes! Duo will come and save us from insanity! But, I must kill Heero for him to do it.
Wait! I could feel my heart screaming over the insane thoughts in my head. If you kill Heero, Duo will never come back! And he'd probably find out you killed him and leave forever! Then you'd be trapped in the quiet. No...I..c..can't kill Heero! Yes! I must! NOO! Stop this quiet, just wait a little longer. Duo and Heero will come back! Tick tock! Must stop quiet! I go and turn on the radio and turn the volume up, then turn the TV on with volume all the way up. Tick Tock! Stupid clock. Noise, sound blares though out the mansion. I can barely here Wufei screaming,
"Keep it down you weak onna!" Yes Wu-man yell, yell and scream! Trowa walks in turning off the TV and radio. I turn them back on. Trowa turn them off and grabs my hands. Sweet, Trowa, he was so kind. Wufei would just yell and scream. I like Wufei yelling and screaming, stops the quiet. Trowa stood there staring into my eyes. I knew he could see the war between my heart and my insane mind.
"Are you ok?" He asked. I stared and nodded and put up my kind hopeful cheerful mask. I couldn't let Trowa know I was going insane. Yes, my wonderful mask the mask that I use to hole my self up deep with in my quiet mind.
"Yes. Yes, I'm fine." I said, lying so easily. No I'm not. I could feel my self screaming inside. I'd been using this mask for so long. I don't know how to take it off any more. I wanted out. I needed out. My mind was so quiet.
"Are you sure?" Trowa asked continuing to look into my eyes. I looked away, I knew what happened when you stared into dead eyes to long. Yes, my eyes were dying. Trowa knew it too. He knew when you look into dead eyes long enough you were sucked in, locked away in the darkness and you become them same as them, a shell.
"Yes, Trowa. I'm perfectly fine." I lied. I hated lying to Trowa, partially because he knew I was lying. Trowa sighed and walked away.
'Trowa, wait!' My mind called out.
"Hm?" Trowa turned.
"What is it?" He asked. 'Damn, just what I need to be saying stuff out loud.'
"Quatre? Did you ever notice how quiet it is." Trowa whispered. Yes of course I have. The quiet surrounds you making you too scared to talk. I looked away, Trowa giving up was about to go to the kitchen when Wufei walked in.
"What was all that noise, onna." Wufei growled.
"Nothing." I said flatly.
"Why don't we go out to eat or something?" Trowa said suddenly. I looked at him a quizzical expression on my face.
"Hm..I could use a brake from my paperwork." Wufei murmured. Before I knew it we were dressed and Trowa was dragging a dazed me to the car. Trowa sped down the road in his Electric Green Mica MR2 Spyder. (((AN: Dude.....those are sweet.....i want a black or liquid silver one....*drool* See all I had to do was go to toyota.com and I found a car that suited Trowa! Trowa look at car: ///_^))) The wind tosseled my hair.
"So where d'ya guys wanna eat?" Trowa said. Wufei shrugged his shoulders.
"Maybe we could go to a dance club too?" Trowa laughed.
"Yeah right, Barton." Wufei muttered. We finally decided on a restaurant called Long Horns. (((A/N: mmmm long horns gooooood))) We were seated by a waitress named Tiffany. We ordered cokes and looked at the menu we all focused on one thing. Steak. (((A/N: mmmm steak goooooood Li: would you stop interrupting the fic already???? Kate: but steak goooooood.....))) Tiffany brought us a small loaf of bread and our appetizers. We had ordered chicken fingers, and buffalo strips.
"So what have you guys been doing?" I asked.
"Just more paper work for the Preventors" Wufei groaned.
"I've been working on observing the colonies and such...making new updated floor plans and the like." Trowa answered.
As soon as we had finished our appetizers Tiffany showed up with our steaks. We finished our meals and paid her a decent tip for she was excellent. We rode home and went about our business. I walked into the hanger and gazed up at Sandrock. I climbed into the cockpit, the door closed behind me and I sat in the darkness. I felt the familiar keys, I rubbed my hand over the button that turned on my gundam. Then I came to the self-detonation button. I rubbed my fingers over its smooth surface. Suddenly one of the screens blinked to life. I looked up wondering how it turned on. Then a vid-link came up and Duo's face appeared.
"What!? Duo!" I shouted.
"Quatre? Heh, I was hoping you'd be in your gundam, strolling down memory lane?" Duo said smiling. I nodded and said,
"You look like you're in a good mood." Duo nodded slightly and noticed my hand still on the self-detonation button, his smile fell.
"Quat, you weren't gonna..." He said glaring daggers at me.
"Huh? Oh, no! Of course not." I answered removing my hand from the button.
"You sure???" Duo said dead serious, it was funny seeing Duo acting serious.
"No Duo, my hand just fell across it and I just..you know getting a few flashbacks." I said sadly.
"So, how you guys doing with out me??" Duo said his smile returning.
"Fine..." I said hesitating. Duo nodded leaning back in the seat of his gundam.
"You don't sound so sure of yourself, Q. In case you haven't noticed we know when you're lying, the few times that you have." He laughed, I started getting nervous. "It's not like you lie all the time though....you rarely lie." He continued. I sighed inwardly, the fool I've been wearing this mask longer then you think..
"You found Heero yet? And why you calling me in your gundam." I asked. Duo opened one violet eye, then the other and sat back up.
"Nope, but I'm close I can feel it. And well I had no other way to contact you all so I was hoping one of you might be in you gundams." He said yawning.
"Well I better be going. Oh wait! How's Wu-man still doing?.......He still mad at me." Duo asked hesitantly.
"Well he was pretty mad when he found out you left, but I think he's been to busy with paperwork to still be mad at you." I said chuckling at the nickname Duo had given Wufei.
"Well tell the others I said hi. C'ya" Duo said and closed the link. Quatre sighed smiling and closed his eyes.
