Chapter 4:
Ryan's P.O.V
I closed my eyes as warm water poured over my head from the shower jet above me. Making love to Gabriella had been amazing. She had screamed for me, begged for me, she'd wanted me so much. And I'd wanted her. God she had felt so good, so right. I couldn't wait to be with her again. She couldn't have had sex with Troy; he must have dropped his wallet when she was telling him to get out. Gabriella would never cheat on me. She loved me so much and she proved it by letting me make love to her. She wouldn't hesitate to let me be inside her again, I knew it. She'd enjoyed it as much as I had.
I shut off the water and looked at myself in the mirror, touching my shoulder where there was a red welt from Gabriella fighting me. She was so playful, such a tease, pretending she didn't want me. I frowned as I remembered the bruises on her face, on her body. How did she get those? Was it Troy? I swear I'm going to kill that son of a bitch. How could he hurt her like that?
I reached toward the toothpaste on the sink and paused as my hand shook before my eyes. I looked up and the room was spinning and I groaned in pain as my head started to feel like it was splitting apart. Images of my fist hitting Gabriella's face made the headache worse. The pain brought me to my knees and I curled up on the cool tiles of the bathroom floor until it subsided. When it did, I stood and pulled open the mirrored door of the cabinet above the sink. My hand paused on top of the bottle of pills I was supposed to take every day. I didn't need them. I wasn't crazy, was I? No, no I was fine.
The image of Gabriella cowering away from me as I raised my fist to hit her again stopped me from closing the cabinet door. Had I…had I really done that to her, or had I imagined that. I remembered the bruises on her skin last night and her screaming at me that I'd done that to her. Was that all in my head? I didn't know what was real anymore. My hand lingered on the bottle of pills, before I stepped back and slammed the door shut. I faced myself in the mirror, and tried out a smile. I was still Ryan Evans. I wasn't crazy. I was fine.
Troy's P.O.V
I grinned like an idiot as I walked into school. My eyes roamed the hallways for Ella. I wasn't really expecting her to come to school, due to that huge bruise on her side, but I was still hoping. If she wasn't here, I'd go see her at lunch, maybe spend the night with her. I finally had her back, my Ella. We were starting over, getting back to how we used to be, how we always should have been. I couldn't believe I'd ever let her go but now she was back with me-sort of-and I'd wait as long as it took for her to truly be mine again.
"What do you look so happy about?" Taylor asked as I stopped beside her and Chad, who had his arm around her shoulders. My smile only got wider and I shook my head. I wasn't sure I wanted to get everyone excited about Gabriella and I yet. Definitely not before she told people that she and Ryan were over.
"Nothin'. I'm just having a good day, Tay." I said, and then grabbed her, spun her around and gave her a huge smack on the cheek. "A really great-" I broke off and slowly let go of Taylor as I saw Gabriella walking into school with Ryan's arm wrapped around her. She was wearing a long sleeved, scoop necked, blue and white striped dress that came to just above her knees. Her hair was in a pony tail and the mark on her face was gone, probably hidden by makeup. The two of them walked up to us, and she refused to look me in the eye, looking instead at the ground. Ryan, however, had the world's biggest smirk on his face and was staring at me triumphantly.
"Hey guys. How ya doin, Tay? What's up Chad?" Chad and Taylor exchanged confused glances. I knew why. Ryan was acting weird; they had never seen him act like such an arrogant asshole before. I looked at Gabriella, trying to understand what was going on. She'd kissed me, she'd told me she loved me. She'd been telling the truth, or at least I'd thought so. I'd always been sure Ella would never lie to me.
"Ella?" I said, stepping closer to her, and Ryan pulled her closer to him. I watched her wince as he crushed her left side, the one with the bruise. Had she not told him, or was he just that careless? "Ella?" I tried again, willing her to look at me.
"Brie doesn't want to talk to you, Bolton, and neither do I, so why don't you go shoot a basket? That's the only thing you're good at." I saw Ella's jaw clench but she didn't say anything. This wasn't like her. Something was wrong. Something way deeper and worse than I'd realized. I had a niggling suspicion that she'd lied to me about not knowing who had hit her. I was pretty sure her attacker was possessively pulling her toward him. The realization stunned me and I immediately rejected it. Ryan was crazy, and overly possessive, but he'd never ever hurt her like that…would he?
"Gabriella? What's going on?" Taylor asked, stepping forward. Ella continued to stare down at her feet. I could see her closing in on herself. Something was very, very wrong here.
"You can talk to Taylor, Brie. Come on, why are you being so shy?" Ryan smiled indulgently at her, concern in his eyes. He touched her cheek, the one that had been bruised, and I saw the shudder that she tried to stifle. Ryan's eyes hardened and he turned her face toward him. She looked anywhere but in his eyes and his grip tightened on her. She looked up at him and smiled. "You're gonna talk to Taylor, aren't you Brie?" he said and she nodded.
"Of course, Ry." He smiled then, and let her go, and she turned to Taylor with a smile and linked arms with her, walking toward their first class. Chad and I studied Ryan, trying to figure out what the hell was going on. The way he was treating her, it was like he owned her. She wouldn't talk to me, she wouldn't look at me; she wouldn't look at anyone unless he said it was okay. This was not how Ella acted. Not the Ella any of us knew.
"Chad?" I said as we both fenced Ryan in. "Don't you think it's weird, how Ella's acting?" Ryan rolled his eyes at us and Chad crossed his arms across his chest.
"I do think it's weird, Troy. Seems like Ry's controlling her, don't you think?" Chad replied, one of his brows raised. Ryan smiled.
"I think you two basketball boys have lost your minds, and you need to get out of my way." He said coldly, his eyes on me. "If Brie doesn't talk to you, Bolton, it's because she doesn't want to. Accept that and stop trying to blame it on me."
"Now you see Ryan, I don't know if I believe that. I know Gabriella, and even if she didn't want to talk to me, she damn sure wouldn't have hesitated to talk to Taylor. You were hurting her. Didn't you notice, Chad?" Chad propped his chin on one of his hands and cocked his head, staring Ryan down.
"It seemed like he was gripping her face pretty hard, yeah." He said. Ryan looked between the two of us and then smiled and pushed past us, walking toward his math class, which he unfortunately had with Gabriella. I hung back with Chad.
"He did something to her, Troy. I don't know what it is but she's not our Gabby." Chad said to me, his eyes on Ryan's back. I nodded.
"I know man. I think I know what he did but I hope to God I'm wrong."
Sharpay's P.O.V
My heels clicked satisfactorily as I walked through the halls of East High, hall pass in hand. Chemistry was definitely not my subject of choice. School was such a bore. I busied myself thinking about my character in the next musical. I was the star this time around, thanks to Ryan, Gabriella was more interested in the scholastic decathlon and besides it was senior year. She wanted to do her very best in exams, the little nerd.
I pushed open the door to the bathroom, stopping to look at myself in the mirror. Perfection as usual. I fluffed my blonde curls and pulled out my lipgloss. My hand was poised with the brush over my lips when I heard a noise. I put my lipgloss back in my bag and walked around, checking under the stalls. When I got to the last stall, the crying was louder, and I pushed it open.
Gabriella was on her knees, a bloody razor on the ground next to her and a towel pressed against her wrist. She looked up at me, mascara running down her face with her tears, her chest heaving with silent sobs. I stood there stunned into silence. This was not the Gabriella I hated but grudgingly respected. This girl was broken.
"What-" I began but she pushed herself up off the ground and rushed to the sink. She stuck her wrist under the faucet while I watched, mute. When her wrist stopped bleeding, she scrubbed her face free of makeup and I gasped at the fresh bruise across her cheek. I put a hand to my mouth as I remembered my wrist being grabbed roughly and slammed against a door. Oh God, no.
"Gabriella…" I said, horrified, as she reapplied concealer and mascara to her face. The whole time she said not one word, not until she was finished. Only then did she look at me again, and although her face was as beautiful as it ever was, her eyes were dead and haunted.
"Please don't tell Ryan." She whispered, and then without waiting for an answer she dashed out of the bathroom. I backed against a wall and held my left wrist to my chest. No, no this could not be happening. I had to do something. I had to talk to Troy.
Gabriella's P.O.V
I rushed out of the bathroom blindly. I couldn't believe of all people, Sharpay had caught me. I couldn't be sure that she wouldn't tell Ryan, but I hoped to God she wouldn't. She didn't hate me that much, did she? Or were both the Evans twins goddamn crazy? I was so busy being terrified of what Ryan would do to me, and mortified that Sharpay had seen me, that I wasn't watching where I was going and I bumped headfirst into the one person I wanted to avoid.
I rushed to pick up my bag, the makeup and towel had fallen out, and I needed to get them back in before anyone saw them. I felt strong hands pick me up off the ground and clutched the towel to my chest. Oh God, please don't let anyone see.
"Ella." I closed my eyes and choked down a sob. Oh, Troy. "Ella please, look at me." I slowly opened my eyes and turned to Troy. He was as handsome as ever, his hair darker now than when we'd first met, his eyes the bluest I'd ever seen, and they were so full of worry and love, it broke my heart. "Ella, tell me what's going on."
"I…I can't, I-" I stammered and closed my eyes as tears welled. With everything that had happened, I didn't know if I could stand the look in his eyes right now. "I'm so sorry, I can't…" he gently put his hands on my shoulders and steadied me. He kept his gaze on me until I looked him in the eye.
"You said you love me." He whispered confusion and hurt in his voice but nothing but worry for me in his eyes. "You meant it. I felt it. I felt it when we kissed." I closed my eyes, remembering how gentle he was with me, wishing he had made love to me when he was in my room, so my first time wouldn't have been with a monster. "You love me, Ella, and I love you. You told me you and Ryan were over. Just tell me what changed. Tell me so I can help. Don't shut me out, Ella, please."
I clutched my chest tighter as a sob escaped my throat. I wanted so badly to tell him but I was so afraid of what Ryan would do to me when he found out. What he would do to Lilly, or Mama, or what he would do to Troy. I pulled myself out of Troy's arms and backed away while he watched me helplessly.
"I'm so sorry." I whispered and then I ran. I ran until I got outside and then I sank onto the ground and let myself sob. Tears poured down my face and each breath hurt me more. I couldn't take this anymore. It needed to end. I needed to end. My tears dried up as I finally saw my way out.
Sharpay's P.O.V
I waited silently as Ryan opened my car door and climbed in. He was fidgety and his eyes jumped all over the place. I took a breath and started the car. I'd been here before five years ago. It was worse this time. I had to be very careful what I said and how I said it. Anything could make him snap right now. I unconsciously flexed my wrist as I pulled out of the school parking lot into the traffic.
"Ryan." I said calmly, my eyes flicking to him next to me and back to the road. He looked across at me expectantly and I took a breath to calm myself. He was scary when he was like this, something I- and Gabriella-had found out the hard way. "How are things with Gabriella? Are you two still sickeningly adorable?" My brother smiled when I mentioned Gabriella's name, and he relaxed a little, seemed more grounded.
"We're great. We're better than we've ever been, actually." I nodded agreeably, waiting for him to continue. "We're more in love than ever. We had sex the other night, it was amazing." My eyes widened and I thought of Gabriella on her knees in the bathroom. Oh please God, he didn't. No, no.
"That's…incredible, Ry." I said, my voice infused with sisterly love and happiness. He grinned at me. "Hey Ry, have you been to see Dr. Tracy lately?" I asked. He frowned but I kept my voice light and my eyes on the road. I couldn't let him feel like I was interrogating him, or he'd get agitated, and I needed to get us both home in one piece.
"No. I don't go see Dr. Tracy anymore, Shar. I don't need a shrink, I'm not crazy." He sounded like he was trying to convince himself more than me. I eased off of my questioning a bit and tried something else.
"Oh I know you're not crazy, Ryan. I just thought you liked talking to her. You said she shared your love of jazz hands." His brow furrowed again, but then he smiled, probably remembering a conversation he and Tracy Sullivan had had about dance moves. She liked to get him to talk about things he liked first, before moving into the darker things. "You guys talk about a lot of things, if I remember. When I went with you, we talked about the musical and about Troy and Gabriella, and about your medication. You been taking your meds, Ry?"
"No, Sharpay, I don't need meds! I told you, I'm not crazy!" I briefly closed my eyes, sighing in relief as I pulled into our driveway. I shut off the engine and turned to Ryan, but he was already walking up to the front door. I sat for a moment, wondering whether what I was about to do next was the right thing. Then I started the engine again and pulled onto the road. It was time to go talk to Troy.
Troy's P.O.V
The basketball bounced off the rim off the net and landed on the court, bouncing a few more times before it rolled to a stop at my feet. I cursed and picked it up, aiming for the net again and missing….again. As usual, whenever my head was messed up, so was my playing. I let out a groan of frustration and turned to throw my ball at the wall, when I saw Sharpay standing there. She was leaning against the wall with her arms wrapped around herself.
"Shar?" I said, and she gave me a sad smile. "What is it?" I walked over to her and she did something unexpected. She wrapped her arms around me and buried her face in my chest. "Shar, you're shaking."
"We have to talk." She said and I nodded, leading her into my house and up to my room. She sat Indian style on my bed and folded her hands in her lap. Then she looked up at me, and I saw more depth to her than she ever let on to anyone. With a sigh she started her story.
"When we were thirteen, we went away to Paris for Christmas. Ryan wanted to go to Peru, for some reason, I really don't know, but our parents always gave me what I wanted and it was my dream to go to Paris. He'd been acting up lately, there was extreme moodiness and he would throw tantrums about the littlest things." She tucked a blonde curl behind her ear and sighed again. "On Christmas day, our parents got me this amazingly perfect microphone with my initials engraved on it, but all they got Ryan was a beret. It was a tricked out beret, with his initials on it, but it still was so much less than what they'd gotten me. I didn't pay much attention to it back then, but he was always getting so much less attention than I was. Anyway, I was singing into the microphone and he just lost it. He grabbed it, but I wouldn't let it go, so he grabbed my wrist and slammed it hard against my bedroom door until I let it go." She rubbed her wrist as she said that and I flashed back to the purple bruise all over Gabriella's side.
"Oh God, Shar, no." I murmured and she nodded, seeing that I was beginning to understand.
"My dad got him off of me, but Ryan wouldn't stop fighting him. Then suddenly he was okay. He just stopped fighting, picked me up off the ground and hugged me, and handed me my microphone. Our parents took him to a psychologist. He was diagnosed with bipolar disorder the next day." She bit her lip and looked up at me. "When we got back to New Mexico, he started seeing a shrink regularly, and he had medication he was supposed to take every day. He's been the normal Ryan I always knew since then, he's never acted out again. At least that's what I thought, until I saw Gabriella today." My blood ran cold when she mentioned Ella's name, and I stared at her, waiting for her to continue.
"She was on her knees in a bathroom stall, a razor with blood on it was on the ground, and she was pressing a towel to her wrist." I shook my head. This was not happening. "When I caught her she sprang up and washed off her wrist and fixed her makeup. I saw a bruise on her face. And I thought….I didn't want to think he hit her but he's been acting so strange lately. And then before she ran out the door she said 'please don't tell Ryan', and I just knew."
"No, no, no. Oh shit, no." I said. That was basically all that was in my vocabulary at that point. "We need to get Ella away from him."
"Troy, there's something else." Shar said. "When we were driving home I asked him a couple questions to figure out how far gone he was. He said he was off his meds. And Troy…he said he and Gabriella had sex last night. He seemed to think it was consensual but…she was cutting herself. I think….I think he raped her."
Gabriella's P.O.V
The house was quiet, and empty. I dropped my bag on the floor by the front door and slowly went to the kitchen. I grabbed a glass from out of the cupboard and held it up to the light. It glittered like diamonds and I smiled at its beauty. I felt detached, like I was watching myself from far away. Maybe I was losing it. Maybe being beaten and raped had made something snap and I'd lost my mind. I wasn't sure, but I felt lighter, freer. I wanted to laugh like an idiot. Turning away from the cupboard, I threw the glass at the wall with all my strength and watched it shatter.
I reached down and picked up the biggest piece of the glass I could find. Then I sat on the ground in the kitchen and thought about my Mom and Lilly. I thought about my Dad and how he'd have murdered Ryan if he'd been here. I thought about how my Papa would have protected me. I thought about Taylor and Chad, Kelsi and Jason, Martha and Zeke, even Sharpay. Then I thought about Troy, how it felt when he kissed me, how much I loved him and how much he loved me, and I knew I couldn't do it. I had to talk to him. I had to tell him what was going on. If there was a chance to be with him I had to take it.
