The next few days were excruciatingly dull.

Mike spent most of them pacing back and forth in his apartment, sharing his feelings with the walls and furniture. All the talking meant his mouth was constantly dry, and as a result he had perfected the art of talking while drinking a glass of water.

"I could have been a ventriloquist," he told the couch on the first day. "It would have freaked out Trevor. I miss Trevor. I know I'm not supposed to, but I do."

His phone beeped. He turned it on eagerly. "I hope that's Harvey saying he found Adrian," he said, "Because I am getting really sick of this, and why has it taken so long for her to come back?"

The text message wasn't from Harvey, though. It was from Jenny.

Looking forward to tonight, she wrote.

"Oh crap," Mike said. "I completely forgot we had a date. I don't think I can do this. If I see her, I'll probably say something awful and she'll break up with me. Oh crap." He started to text back, choosing his words with care. Have to cancel. Work related. He hit Send with a satisfied feeling.

Two minutes later, that feeling was gone. His phone rang, and Jenny's picture came up on the Caller ID.

Mike chose the lesser of two evils and decided not to answer it.

The second day passed, and still no word from Harvey.

"He's punishing me," Mike realized. "He's probably already heard from Adrian and just hasn't told me. Oh crap, what if there's no way to fix this? What if I'll be stuck like this forever? I don't want to be stuck this way. Who ever heard of a truth-telling lawyer?"

His phone beeped, and Mike rushed to read his latest text. It was Jenny again.

Are you busy tonight? she wrote. You never called me back.

Mike sighed as he texted back. Can't go out tonight. Work stuff.

He tried to convince himself he was doing them both a favor by saving them from unnecessary grief. Still, he couldn't help feeling a twinge of guilt the next time the phone rang and he didn't answer it.

On the third day Mike decided that Harvey could go screw himself.

He shared a beer with the fridge as he poured out his feelings. "He acts like he doesn't care, and I'm starting to believe it," he said. "Also, why the vests? They're ridiculous. What's next, a pocket watch? A top hat? A cravat? What kind of lawyer wears a cravat? I gotta talk to Donna 'bout this; if anyone can stop him, she can. She's the only one who can save us. From the cravats."

Mike may have had more to drink than just the beer.

"You're the only one I care about now," he told the television tearfully. "I can say whatever I want to you and it doesn't matter. You'll never judge me, you'll never abandon me when I need you most." He hugged the television, spilling his box of wine in the process.

"Harvey drinks scotch," he told the stain spreading across the floor. "But scotch is stupid, which means Harvey's stupid."

His phone beeped for the third time in as many days. He stumbled blearily to it and peered at the words swimming across the screen.

You free tonight ? the phone asked.

"That's a silly question," Mike muttered. I'm always free for you, Mike told the phone before he tucked it into his pocket.

"I don't care about you anymore," he told the television. "I've got a phone now."

One hangover later, Mike was wallowing in self pity when he heard a knock on his apartment door.

"I know you're in there," he heard Jenny say. "You wanna open the door?"

"No," Mike said softly. He was very proud that he'd spoken too quietly for her to hear, and immediately said so aloud.

"What?" Jenny asked.

"I don't want to let you in," he said helplessly.

He heard her chuckle. "Mike, if you think I'm mad because you've been ditching me for work, it's okay. I get it. Your job is important."

"It wasn't for work," said Mike. "Well, it was because of work, but not for it."

"I told you, I'm not mad, just concerned." Jenny sighed. "Look, you can make it up to me by taking me out tonight." When he didn't answer, she spoke with a little more urgency. "Come on, Mike, it's Friday; even you need to have fun once in a while."

Mike glanced down at his beer-stained shirt. "I'm not dressed for going out," he said.

"Are you naked?" she asked, clearly amused. "I don't mind."

"Yes, I remember," he said. Don't think about it don't think about it. "That was really fun."

"Well, if you don't open the door, you're not gonna get to do it again," she joked.

"I really don't want to. Open the door, I mean, not have sex. I mean, do have sex. I want to."

He heard her lean against the door. "Well, first you've got to take me out, so let me in and I'll help you pick out an outfit."

"That's not why I don't want to see you."

There was a pause. "You don't want to see me?"

"I do, but not now." He shoved his fist in his mouth.

"Mike." She sounded hurt, and it broke his heart to hear it. "Why don't you want to see me?"

He was losing her. What choice did he have? "I got drugged by a truth serum and I can't stop telling the truth," he explained, slumping against the door. "And I'm afraid if I see you I'll say something I'll regret, and I really don't want to hurt you, Jenny."

Another pause. "Okay," she said slowly. "I think, since we're in a relationship, you should be telling me the truth anyway, so maybe you should open the door and we'll see what happens."

He shut his eyes and nodded. "Okay," he whispered. He turned the knob and stepped back.

Jenny stood in the doorway, looking stunning in a dress of black and gold.

"Oh my God," he breathed. "You are the most beautiful person I have ever seen in my life."

She smiled and stepped inside. "You need to change."

"I want to look nice for you," he said. "I can't believe I tried to get out of this because this is seriously the highlight of my entire week."

"You must be drugged," she said, giving him a tiny kiss. "Did you really drink a truth serum?"

"No, I inhaled it," he said. "We went to see a mad scientist this week."

"Really? I thought there actually weren't that many in New York."

"This guy was filthy rich," Mike said.

"A filthy rich mad scientist? You'd think he'd have better things to do with his time."

"It wasn't him, it was his daughter. She was really gorgeous, and I think she was hitting on me a little."

"I would be jealous," Jenny teased, "But you already said I'm the most beautiful person you've ever seen, so I'm feeling pretty secure right about now." She gave him a playful shove to his bedroom. "Now go change, we're running late."

He stepped into his bedroom and turned to shut the door. "Jenny?" he asked before he did.

"Yes?"

Mike grinned. "You are the best girlfriend ever."

Jenny smiled back. "I know."

By the time Monday rolled around, Harvey had just about had enough.

"Donna, where are the Serpinski files?" he asked as he frantically searched his desk.

"You gave them to Gregory," she said, with a hint of reproach.

"I know that. I mean Why aren't they here now?"

"Probably because Gregory hasn't finished prepping them," she said with a shrug.

Harvey groaned in desperation. "I need them!" he whined.

"Well, maybe you should have picked an associate who could actually keep up with you," she said pointedly.

Harvey fumed and tried not to glare at her. "Call Serpinski and reschedule," he snapped. He made a mental note to crush Gregory, and sat down in a huff.

It was getting bad. The work kept piling up, and none of the minions at Harvey's disposal were worth the cheap suits they wore. He was behind on all his paperwork, and worse, he'd come to the crippling realization that, Donna and Jessica aside, no one at this firm got any of his movie references. It was like living in a world where no one had seen any movies made before 1980. (Although lately the associates had taken to calling him "Captain" and giving him the Vulcan salute as he passed, which was rather nice.)

In desperation, Harvey had taken to doing his own damn paperwork, and quickly found that he just couldn't concentrate without some sort of incessant background chatter to ignore. He'd started to listen to the Encyclopedia of Law books on tape, since the noise it made was oddly comforting. Strangely, it reminded him of bad suits and skinny ties.

Donna kept giving him knowing looks, which was why Harvey was increasingly grateful he hadn't confided to her that the letters "MR" etched on the tape player did not stand for "My Recordings."

When his phone rang unexpectedly, he almost leaped across the desk to answer it.

"Werner!" he practically shouted into it. "Did you find Adrian?"

"Adrian has not come home yet," Werner said. "I am starting to worry."

"She didn't shrink herself again, did she?" Harvey asked with a sinking feeling.

"No. I have already looked into that possibility," Werner said. "Unless she has gone subatomic, of course."

"Of course," Harvey said, choking down hysterical laughter. "Would you like some scotch?" He poured himself a drink.

Werner didn't answer.

Donna walked into his office, put her hand on her hip, and gaped at him in utter disbelief.

"Why don't I come over there and take a look at that lab coat?" Harvey said desperately. He reached for the glass of scotch, but Donna gently took it from him and returned to her desk. "Maybe I can help you look for Adrian."

"Indeed," said Werner. "And bring that associate of yours. I'd love to hear what he's heard of me."

"Of course," Harvey said, smiling through clenched teeth. "We'll be over soon."

He hung up the phone and leaned back, defeated.

"I called Ray," Donna said.

"Give me back my scotch," Harvey snapped.

"What scotch?"

Harvey knew it was no use arguing. "Call Werner back. Tell him I'm coming over alone."

"Harvey," Donna warned.

"I don't have time, Donna." He stood, straightened his tie, and pulled on his jacket, uncomfortably aware that his hair wasn't quite as perfect as it should be. "I can do this without him."

She appeared in the doorway then, blocking his exit. "Harvey," she said, her eyes flashing. "I know what you named the tape player."

There was a pregnant pause.

"I'll go get Mike," Harvey said, and left.

Mike was feeling pretty good about life by the time Harvey knocked on the door.

"Who's that?" Jenny asked, cuddled against him on the couch.

"I don't know," Mike said. "I don't really feel like getting up to answer it though. I'd much rather stay here. You're nice and warm."

"You have to answer it," she told him. "Maybe you ordered pizza last night in your sleep, but now it's late so you'll get it for free."

"Wow, that is a compelling argument," he said truthfully. The knocking got louder and more insistent, so Mike stood and stretched. "Guess I'd better let the poor pizza guy in."

"Unless it's an ax murderer," Jenny mused, sipping at her coffee. "Then he'll kill us, and the police will never find the bodies."

"At least we'll die happy," Mike said. The knocking grew into a pounding.

"Or maybe there's no one there at all," Jenny said. "Maybe it's a telltale knocking, and you're just going insane with guilt."

"Now there's a thought," Mike said, sitting down again. "I do have a lot to feel guilty about."

"Oh for the love of—" Harvey's voice sounded through the door. "Do you two ever shut up?"

Mike jumped. "Oh crap, it's definitely something I should feel guilty about," he said, rushing to let his boss inside.

"Hello, Harvey," Jenny said, raising her coffee in greeting.

"Wow, you look awful," Mike told him. "Did someone die?"

"No," Harvey said tersely. "Get dressed. We're going to see Werner."

"Ooh, is that the orthodontist?" Jenny asked. "The one with the mad scientist daughter?"

Harvey glared at her, but spoke to Mike. "I brought these for you," he said, shoving a huge stack of papers into Mike's chest. Mike stumbled as he caught them.

"Am I being punished?" Mike asked nervously. "Are you still mad at me?"

Harvey looked him up and down, then said in a tight-lipped voice, "You look well."

"I had sex last night," Mike told him, then grinned. "And this morning. All weekend, actually."

"Okay, Mike, sweetie, I know you can't help it, but you need to stop," Jenny said.

"You look fantastic," Harvey said, and there was no mistaking the resentment in his tone. "Looks like you had a wonderful time without me to bother you."

"I did, actually," Mike said, starting to sweat. He didn't like where this conversation was headed. "You're going to fire me, aren't you? Please don't fire me! I'm sorry I said those things about you. I can't take them back, but they were horrible, and they were true, and oh God, you're going to fire me!"

Harvey actually looked surprised. "I'm not—"

But the dam had already broken. "But I was right, wasn't I? Hiring me was really stupid, and it would make your life so much easier if I weren't around to mess everything up," Mike ranted. "Even though I still think you're a little bit to blame for all this, but then, you'd have to be, since you were dumb enough to hire me in the first place—"

"Mike!" Harvey shouted, grabbing him by the shoulders and shaking him. "Look at me." Mike fell silent as he stared, taking in the unkempt hair, the poorly shaved stubble, the slightly wrinkled suit, the haggard, sleep-deprived expression, and his eyes widened. "Tell me," Harvey said, and his voice was soft. "Did I make a mistake in hiring you?"

And Mike had to tell the truth: "No," he said, awed and a little humbled. "It was the stupidest decision you've ever made, but it wasn't a mistake."

Harvey nodded. "How fast can you get dressed? We've got a mad scientist to find."

"Aww," Jenny said with a wicked grin, "I was going to take him clothes shopping, find out what he really thinks."

Mike paled at the thought of giving truthful opinions to a girl trying on clothes, and ran from the room.

"That was brilliant," Harvey observed.

"I've been saving that one all weekend," Jenny said, and took another sip of coffee. "He'll be ready in three minutes."

Mike surprised them both, though. He was ready in two.