Chapter 4: White-claws and Fat-Hen
Monday 8th, Tuesday 9th & Wednesday 10th May 1876.
The Sharries, Stretton-on-Fosse
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Summary: Nellie and Mrs Macha come to terms and forge an agreement on a pathway forward for Nellie.
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Once they got the panniers inside, Mrs Macha busied herself stringing some of the herb bunches up in her front sitting room. She had a clothes rack on a pulley hung from the ceiling and it was onto this she laid out and hung the mugwort, the rue, the pennyroyal and the one Nellie didn't know.
"Mrs Macha, I know the rest of your herbs here, but may I ask what the grey herb with the purple flowers is?"
"Of course Nellie dear" she replied. "That'll be catnep. It makes a fair tea for all sorts of tings. It'll certainly help you get drowsy if you conner get to sleep right… bring out a sweat for a fevered child and it might help in other ways too," she added matter-of-factly.
Nellie sat quietly watching Mrs Macha, feeling a calmness she had not felt for a very long time. Her sprightliness and confident purpose was a balm. She had taken off her welsh hat and this revealed a glossy white slightly yellowed head of hair, caught up in a large bun on the top of her head, tightly bound in a little net of yellow lace.
The little house was a house of peace and quiet industry. There were no masters or mistresses or housekeepers to make her cringe. And there were no children, nor any of their demands... nor the smell of their nappies drying by the kitchen stove.
Then Mrs Macha pattered off into the kitchen and came back with a large bowl into which she and Nellie placed the tender leaves from fat-hen, dandelion, lambs lettuce, violet and chicory and a little bunch of chives from out of the front garden. They ripped them all with their fingers and then into all this went a little raspberry vinegar. The stems and older leaves were placed in a pail outside the front door.
"For Liath in the morning" said Mrs Macha.
She then popped a pot on to boil over a little stove in the kitchen and brought back in a small yellow cheese. She cut two slices each and wrapped one slice in fresh cress and offered it to Nellie. Nellie took it shyly and had a little nibble. Before she knew it, she had popped the whole lot in her mouth and was chewing it merrily. It was delicious! Sharp smoky cheese and the hot cress was just the remedy. They whet her appetite and swept the horrors of her day away.
Once the water was boiling, Mrs Macha took the wet bag of white-claws out to the kitchen and emptied them in. A few minutes later she had hooked them all out and came back into the front room with them in a clean cloth which she laid out to cool. Whilst they waited, they drank hot balm tea.
Mrs Macha deftly took the tail meat out of the white-claw shells and washed them some more in a bowl of water, and then tossed them through the green salad with a spoon. Then with her fingers and the spoon, she served a large pile onto a plate for Nellie and another one for herself.
It was not the food that Nellie usually ate, but it was so fresh and bitey and delicious that when she had finished, she found her eyes wandering back to the bowl. This was nothing like the pieces of mutton and mashed turnip, cabbage and potato and dumplings she was used to. It was all fresh and wild and only picked that day. There was enough for another spoonful and then a piece of dark bread to sop the juices. Nellie could feel it all doing her good.
Night had now fallen and in the candle light, Mrs Macha showed her to the bedroom. There were two narrow beds with iron frames covered in creamy wool blankets, thick linen sheets and a flat pillow each. Mrs Macha gave her a nightcap drink of catnep tea. "It'll help soothe the morning sickness dearie", was all she said.
After sipping the tea, sitting on the edge of her bed, Nellie climbed in gratefully and went off to sleep slowly, listening to the old woman's breathing descend into a light snore.
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Nellie had had the most restful night, the deepest sleep in a long time. By habit, she stirred in the pre-dawn darkness and after a brief moment, remembered clearly where she was. She found herself refreshed and no longer confused. And ready to make her decision. She listened for Mrs Macha's breathing across the little room, but it could not be heard. So Nellie got up, reached under the bed, found the pot and relieved herself. Then she dressed in the darkness and opening the bedroom door, went through the kitchen to tip her wee out under the hawthorn tree.
Mrs Macha was up and whistling a merry tune as she stoked the kitchen stove, a beeswax candle inside a cut class cylinder casting a twinkling light. Nellie could see a large iron pot on the stove already stuffed with herbs; and a smaller pot of porridge just beginning to bubble. Mrs Macha nodded briskly at Nellie as she passed through and when she returned they both sat down to porridge and cream in the front room. It was then Mrs Macha asked her the question that had hovered between them since they had met.
"Now Nellie dearie, I must ask you, do you intend to have a baby or do you want some help to make the pregnancy go away?"
Nellie faltered in her eating. This morning there had been no sickness, but the question made her quail.
"Oh, Mrs Macha, your question sore troubles me. I don't rightly know what to say. I've prayed to God and asked for his help but I can't quite make up my mind."
"I know that very well dearie. You're a bright young thing and this is no question I ask lightly and neither should your answer be given lightly. It's a journey you'll be going on either way. Now, I don't bind you to your answer, but could you tell me please which way your thinking leans? Time flies with these things and we'd best be doing if you're of a mind to proceed. Tomorrow if possible."
Nellie looked at her, her brow knitted, let out a deep breath and said gravely, "Well, I worry it's against what the church says, but my thinking leans towards proceeding Mrs Macha. I would be ever so grateful."
Mrs Macha nodded briskly again. "Yes, it is very vexing aint it. Very well then. Any questions?"
Nellie was a little embarrassed but said, "Some say your business is of the devil if you don't mind me sayin', but it's hardly me fault what that brute done to me is it? And I am determined to not wreck my life because of it. I think God must've led me to you. I'm not ready to be a mum yet and that's flat. Me mum was younger than me when she started children and she never stopped… well, till she stopped!" She gave a little sob and gathering herself said, "And I know Frank would want a few years start without kiddies and I want a clean start to married life. I want our first child to be made with love. Is that so wrong?"
"I'm not really the one to be axin' about this dearie, for I'm always of a mind to let the lady decide for herself what's right for her. But if it sets your mind at ease, fate led you to me, that's clear enough Nellie. But your thinking is sound to my mind. Just one thing. I will need you to cross my palm in silver after we're done. Con you do that dearie?"
Nellie nodded, clutching the purse that she had been given the day before.
"Well then, if you're ready, I'm about to make up this brew and you'll be needin' to drink it up startin' tomorrow mornin'. Seven large doses over the course of the day mind. And I must ask you to eat nothing after this porridge. Just a little warm goats milk to sip if you're feelin' faint."
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Wednesday 10th May 1876
The Sharries, Stretton-on-Fosse
So beginning early the next day, Nellie drank the strong brew, one cup at a time and she got so used to its awful flavour it became easier to get down. There was the bitter of mugwort, the strange and disturbing scent of rue, the fresh minty intensity of pennyroyal, and the slightly savoury flavour of catnep... but it was sweetened with honey from Mrs Macha's hives. By the time noon time came, she was well and truly in need of a lie down and feeling rather queasy. She was breaking into a sweat.
By about mid-afternoon, Nellie drank the last mouthful of the strong tea and settled back against the pillows that Mrs Macha plumped up around her. The last was a pillow stuffed with dried mugwort flowers and leaves that rustled and crackled and gave off a pleasant herbal scent laced with honey and it was into this that Nellie found herself enveloped, beginning to drift.
Mrs Macha mopped her brow, helped her to relieve herself again, then offered Nellie another tea, this time of Valerian, Birch Leaf, Willow Bark and more Catnep. This almost tasted worse. She was rather relieved when she finally felt herself slipping away. Just before sleep took her, she felt Mrs Macha's finger apply a little something to her forehead, leaving a damp warm spot. As sleep took her, she could still hear Mrs Macha tapping about the room and the spot on her forehead seemed to glow and enlarge in her mind, almost as if it was a little round window towards which she was being drawn.
Then she knew no more.
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Notes: Village wise-women and midwives have been a feature of human existence for time immemorial. These crucially important people maintained carefully guarded knowledge of herbs and other simples to solve many problems including the induction of abortion. This enabled birth spacing and the interruption of pregnancies which were placing too great a strain upon bodies that were often too young or under nourished. All the herbs I have used in this story are or were, traditionally used for the purposes I have named, although the method, combination and order of delivery I have made up entirely. I used to work for a sexual health service and I encountered some interesting books and articles which captured the stories of women who have had abortions. Some of these stories were powerful documents about the intensely private and sacred bond between a woman and the growing foetus and some emotional and spiritual pathways for women in purposefully letting go of life in their wombs and how they come to a place of peace about this. The next chapter will take us to Nellie's inner journey and what she does immediately thereafter.
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