Hide and Seek
A/N: I literally just sat on the couch for 3 hours while watching MSNBC, and wrote this chapter. I'm actually really happy about it, and I hope you guys like it. Please review!
Chapter 4: Power of Two
There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered.
- Nelson Mandela
On game nights, everything changes. It's not just a night for basketball and cheerleading – but more like a night for everyone to remember that they're only in high school. Sometimes they forget that their only 15 and 16 and 17 and 18, and that most of them haven't even applied to college. When the game starts, and when the gym is filled with two teams, yelling cheerleaders, and screaming fans, for the night – they're merely teenagers.
Brooke has forgotten what it feels like to be on top. It's strange, because the events of the past few months have really prevented her from socializing much, or focusing on her given status of Queen Bee at school. Today, however, things feel oddly like they used to, back in junior year, and even the beginning of this year.
It's not all the same, though. She waves to her fellow cheerleaders in the hallway, but doesn't stop to talk them. Somehow, she doesn't really care anymore about who had an abortion or who had a sex tape come out this week. In Calculus, she has the perfect opportunity to spew a witty remark, but instead keeps her mouth shut. Even during Study Hall, when some of the girls are ranking the bodies of the guys on the soccer team, she simply looks on.
She satisfies her appetite at lunch with a bottle of water and an apple. At first, she sits alone on the east side of the quad, reading Luca's copy of The Glass Castle. It's nice and quiet – silence is something she has grown to appreciate more lately. She's absorbed enough in her book that she doesn't notice at first when someone in a matching cheerleading outfit sits down on the opposite side of the table.
"That's a good book."
Brooke looks up and smiles slightly. "Hey Hales."
"Why are you sitting all alone?"
She shrugs. "I just thought I would get some reading done."
Something in Haley's eyes tells Brooke that she doesn't believe her, but Haley clearly chooses to let it pass. "I think Lucas is looking for you," she says after a minute.
"Oh." Brooke looks down to the table. "I'll catch up with him soon."
Haley sighs. "Brooke, did something happen between you two? I'm worried – I haven't seen you together all day."
The brunette looks up again. She feels awful, really, because Haley looks so concerned. "Hales, you have so much on your plate right now. You shouldn't have to deal with my relationship too."
"Brooke." Haley reaches across the table and grabs her hand. "You and Lucas are my best friends. I'm not just going to sit back and watch a relationship fall apart for no legitimate reason."
"And it's not falling apart – I promise," Brooke protests. "Honestly, after last night, I should be telling you that things are getting a lot better."
"But it looked like something was wrong. You guys left the party really early. Which just proves my point that going to parties on Sunday nights is a terrible idea," responds Haley through a laugh.
Brooke smiles a little. "You're probably right. And yeah, when we left the party I was kind-of pissed off."
"Why?"
"I don't even know!" She tucks a piece of hair behind her ear, clearly frustrated. "It's just, every time Peyton is in the same room as me, I turn into this huge bitch, and I don't even mean to be."
"Well, you deserve to be a little mad at her," says Haley, clearly trying to stay neutral between her two friends.
"I know…but if I'm not ready to be friends with her – does that mean that I get to tell Lucas he can't be friends with her? No, that's selfish and wrong, but that's what I'm doing. And I have no idea why."
Haley sighs. "I think you're just confused. It's been a hard couple of months, and you have every right to be a little anxious about your relationship. Look, your parents just moved home, and it's no secret that relations between you and them aren't good. You're angry with Peyton, and fighting with Lucas a lot more. Brooke…there isn't anything wrong with you. It's just a lot to handle right now."
Brooke nods, swallows, and looks down into her lap. "Yeah…I know."
"Now that we've covered that, why don't we talk about what happened last night."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, like I said, you guys left really early. And you just said that after last night, you should be telling me that things are getting better. So what happened, and why aren't you telling me that things are getting better."
The brunette smiles. Haley has always been extremely articulate and concise. It makes being her friend very rewarding, but it forces Brooke to be more vulnerable and brutally honest. Being around Haley often reminds Brooke of being around Lucas, because, as best friends, they truly are very similar in that sense.
"Well…he drove me home. But, before I went inside…we kind-of had sex in the backseat." Brooke is blushing, which is strange, considering the fact that she's never really been very closeted about her sex life.
Haley smiles, and then laughs, and shakes her head. "You would. Brooke…" she looks up. "That's foul."
"That's not the point!" Brooke says through a laugh, and slaps Haley lightly on the shoulder. "Stop laughing!"
"Okay…okay." Haley calms down. "So I'm still not seeing the problem."
Brooke's smile fades. "It's just...it's the first time that we've slept together since that weekend at Rachel's."
"Was it not…you know, good?"
"It was amazing...but not in the way that it normally is. It was just like, really intense. He kept looking at me like he was afraid I was going to run away…and holding on to me like it was the last time he would ever get to touch me."
"Brooke…" Haley lowers her voice. "I think you're just scared. You guys have been through so much together, and you've still held on. Most people would have given up already."
"So you think we're dumb for holding on?"
Haley shakes her head. "I'm thinking the opposite." She pauses for a second, seemingly searching for words. "You guys have this really pure, untainted love, that I've never really seen before. And up until now, you haven't let outside issues really penetrate that love. But what's going on in your lives right now is starting to impend on your relationship, and I think that's scaring both of you."
Brooke is starting to blink back tears. Haley stands up and moves around the table to sit next to her friend, and put an arm around her shoulder.
"Then what do I do, Haley?" she whispers. "I honestly don't know how I would make it through the day without him."
"Maybe you should tell him that."
--
The first time Peyton sees either Brooke or Lucas on Monday morning, they're together. She's standing at her locker, trying to find her History homework, when Lucas approaches Brooke at her locker, on the other side of the hallway.
"Hey pretty girl," he says in a low voice, wrapping his arms around her from behind, and pressing a kiss onto her ear.
"Hey." She turns around in his arms and leans up against her locker.
"I haven't seen you all day," he continues quietly, playing with the hem on the bottom of her cheerleading skirt.
"I know," Brooke responds, focusing her attention on his collared shirt. "I've been cramming for my Gov test." She reaches up to his tie and starts to fix it.
"I missed you last night." He reaches up and places a hand on her cheek. Brooke meets his eyes, and smiles. Genuinely, Peyton knows, because her dimples appear.
Brooke finishes with his tie. "I missed you too." She pauses. "You smell like chicken."
Lucas laughs, and places a hand on the locker next to hers. "Probably because I had chicken for lunch."
"Probably." She laughs.
"What did you eat?"
Brooke shrugs. "I had an apple. I wasn't that hungry."
"Brooke." His voice is suddenly strained.
"What?" Now she sounds annoyed too, as if this is an argument they've had before.
"You know what. You need to be eating."
"I am eating, Lucas. I just wasn't that hungry."
"Bullshit."
She places a hand on his chest. "Can we not do this here?" she murmurs. Her eyes are pleading, and he sighs and drops his head.
"Fine."
Brooke breathes out. "Thank you." She checks her watch. "I have to get to class."
"Let me walk you?"
She seems to hesitate – and then looks over his shoulder. Her eyes meet Peyton's, and she looks startled, only now noticing her former best friend. Immediately, her expression turns to one of vulnerability, and she tears her eyes away from the blonde to look back at Lucas.
"Yeah, okay."
They turn down the hallway, and Lucas knots his fingers through hers, and then kisses them. He hasn't noticed Peyton, something she is eternally grateful for. And as they begin to walk away, Peyton starts to feel something that even she is surprised by. She starts to feel comforted.
It's very strange, because she shouldn't be okay with seeing them together – judging by the reason she gambled away her friendship with the brunette. But despite the fact that all of their lives have been extremely topsy-turvy lately, it's kind-of reassuring to see them together. They aren't really consciously aware of it, but the two of them own the school. Brooke used to be extremely attentive to the fact that she was on top of the world when it came to high school life. But Peyton can tell that doesn't really interest her as much lately.
That's what makes the relationship between the cheery brunette and the broody blonde so interesting. They are only minutely aware that everyone in school is looking to them. They are the picture of the ideal couple – the captains of the basketball and cheerleading teams. Both beautiful, both caring, both in love. Even now, as they walk down the hallway, plenty of sets of eyes follow them, as people watch them pass. Some are jealous, some pretend to hate them. Most, like Peyton, see Brooke and Lucas as a constant. Steady, unchanging, reassuring.
Peyton is starting to wonder something. Maybe, she isn't so much in love with Lucas, as she is in love with what they used to be, with what they once had the potential to be, with what Brooke and Lucas are.
She fumbles when placing her History textbook in her bag, and 2 pieces of a torn photo fall out. She bends down to the floor. It's the picture of Brooke, Lucas, and Peyton, from last year, standing together, leaning up against the door of Peyton's comet. She sighs, collecting the ripped pieces in her hands.
Maybe she made a big mistake.
--
It's Monday night, and the week has barely started, but Lucas is already exhausted. In the locker room, a few minutes before the game begins, he realizes that while he's excited to play, and is excited to get his heart pumping, part of him just wants to grab Brooke, go home, and curl up to watch a movie together.
"Luke." Lucas turns around. Nathan nods to his brother's right shoulder. "Your tattoo."
He looks down. "Right." He's forgotten to cover it up, and he reaches into his locker to grab the tape he keeps there.
"I still think it's hilarious that you got that thing," says Nathan through a laugh.
"Hey," responds Lucas, defensively. "I was drunk. And with Brooke. Can you really blame me?"
"Good point." Nathan finishes with wrapping up his knee. "When your kids ask, you can just blame it on mommy."
"Don't you think you're getting a little ahead of yourself?"
"What do you mean?"
"Since when do we have kids?"
Nathan laughs and closes his locker. "Come on, dude. It's you and Brooke we're talking about. Everyone knows you guys are going to be together forever."
Lucas sighs. "Yeah, well with the way things have been going lately, I wouldn't be surprised if she dumps my sorry ass tomorrow."
"How so?"
"She's just been really moody," he says through a shrug. "But I mean, she's been going through a lot, what with not talking to Peyton, and I think she's just been feeling insecure. Hopefully it'll blow over."
"I totally know what you mean. Haley's reaching the moody stage of the pregnancy. I swear, every time I come even remotely close to teasing her about anything, she completely flies off the handle. She's going crazy."
"It's your fault that you buy defective protection."
"Nice," mutters Nathan rolling his eyes.
Lucas laughs and claps his brother on the shoulder. "Let's go. We have an undefeated season to defend."
They exit the locker room into the crowded gym. Instinctively, he scans the sidelines for his girlfriend. His eyes find her – she's talking to Haley. The special Raven's "R" has already been painted on her cheek, and her hair has been blow-dried straight, hanging down to the bottom of her ribcage.
She laughs about something, her dimples appearing in full force, something that makes him smile. Before heading over to Whitey to hear his pep talk, Lucas jogs over to Brooke.
"Meet you after the game?"
The brunette just nods and smiles slightly. "Good Luck."
He steps closer to her. "Want to hear a secret?" He leans in and places his lips near her ear. "I always play better with you on the sidelines."
She giggles a little bit, and her eyes light up like a little girls's. Haley just laughs and rolls her eyes as Lucas plants a quick kiss on Brooke's lips before running off. He looks back over his shoulder, and Brooke gives him a wink.
He's starting to feel like everything's going to be okay.
--
They won, of course. The game was against Bear Creek, not exactly a difficult team to beat, but it was still fun nonetheless. Brooke stands at the entrance to the boy's locker room, playing with a strand of hair and waiting for Lucas. Her voice is hoarse from screaming all night long, and she makes a mental note to make some tea when she gets home.
She hears footsteps and looks up, expecting Lucas. Then she sighs.
"Hey Peyton."
The words come out defeated, because she really isn't angry lately, simply tired of having to deal with the blonde.
"Hey." Peyton fidgets nervously with her bag. "Great game, huh?"
"Mhmm."
"Brooke, are we ever going to talk again?"
"We're talking right now."
"You know what I mean."
Brooke looks past Peyton and exhales. "What do you want Peyton?"
"I uh…I actually wanted to see how you and Lucas are doing…"
Brooke laughs. She realizes it sounds bitchy, but she's actually kind-of astounded that Peyton has enough guts to even mention Lucas, let alone their relationship. "That really isn't any of your business."
"It actually kind-of is." Brooke looks at her like she's insane, but Peyton presses on. "I would hate myself if I were to be the reason that you two ever, god forbid, break up."
"First of all," says Brooke, holding up a finger. "Don't flatter yourself. And second of all, since when are you so worried about Lucas and my relationship?"
Peyton looks down at her feet. "You were right. I shouldn't have ever said anything about my feelings. I should have buried them. And I shouldn't have kissed Lucas in the library."
"It's a little late for that, Goldilocks," she says in a cutting tone. "Now if you don't mind…"
Brooke doesn't even finish her sentence, but Peyton knows that it's her cue to leave. Defeated, she does.
Brooke watches her walk away, until the crowd of people milling around the campus swallows her up. She shifts from where she is leaning against the wall, and checks her phone. It's 8:27.
"Hey pretty girl."
Suddenly he's beside her, showered and back in the collared shirt and undone tie that he had worn to school, placing a hand on the small of her back and leaning in.
The anticipation of seeing him after the game has vanished, and as he places his lips on hers, Brooke just tenses up. He can tell, she knows, because he pulls away after a second, and lays a hand on her cheek.
"You okay?"
"Yeah." She smiles, but just barely. "I'm just tired."
He readjusts his bag on his shoulder. "I was thinking you could come over for dinner. My mom's making lasagna."
Brooke looks past him, as if searching for someone in the crowd. "Um, I think I'm just going to go home. I have a big Gov test tomorrow."
Lucas looks confused. "Wasn't that today?"
"Oh, right," she says through a nervous laugh. "I mean Spanish."
Lucas sighs. "Brooke, what's going on?"
"Nothing!" she responds, raising her voice defensively. "I told you – I'm just tired."
"You've been tired for weeks, or so you say. Tell me what's wrong!"
He's getting louder, which is unusual. Usually Lucas is one for silent anger, but now he's starting to look excessively irritated. He steps back and bores into her eyes with his own, expectantly.
"Nothing is wrong, Lucas. And are you actually blaming these last few weeks on just me?"
"I haven't been the one ignoring your phone calls, and refusing to come over to dinner, and making up tests so I don't have to spend time with you."
"No, your right." She folds her arms. "You're the one who kisses my best friend, and then acts like everything is okay. Everything is not okay!"
She's starting to cry, which surprises him, because Brooke has been unusually void of much emotion lately. And all of a sudden, he's taken back to the anteroom at Nathan and Haley's wedding, which just makes his heart hurt even more.
"I need you to need me back!"
People are starting to stare. It's unusual to see Brooke and Lucas get in a public screaming match, but here they are, yelling at each other in front of the boy's locker room. Nathan and Haley are about 10 yards away, and watch their friends with worried expressions. Even Rachel, who had previously been talking to Theresa, looks slightly uncomfortable.
"How do you expect me to fight for you, and to work on this relationship, when you aren't willing to put in any effort?"
"Are you KIDDING me, Lucas?" she screams. "You STILL don't get it. You don't know me. You think that you do, and you take the fact that I'm always here for granted. But I said it once, and I'll say it again. Everything is NOT okay!"
She doesn't even give him time to respond, just turns on her heel and begins to walk off.
"Brooke!"
"WHAT?" She yells, starting to turn around.
"Don't walk away from me," he pleads.
She laughs bitterly. "You want to know the reason I always walk away, Lucas?" She pauses before turning back around and disappearing in the crowd. "Because you never follow me."
And he doesn't.
