walls fall down
part four; jason grace

author's note: I love Jason grace, but I thought writing something like this would be interesting. woah, I get to explore the more negative aspect of jason. this should be fun.

disclaimer: not mine.


When he sees Percy and Annabeth covered in smog and blood and sweat, all he feels is numbness. It's not fair to feel like that, it's not fair at all. He doesn't understand numbness or real pain, and he especially doesn't understand it now that his two best friends have just ventured through Greek Hell armed with nothing more than each other and the determination and hope to get through the journey together.

Jason's spent his whole life being strong, being trained by Lupa to never cry and never feel pain because crying and feeling pain isn't very Roman. Being told constantly that he was going to be the hero of the novel, the one everyone would be talking about, the one who saved the day.

But Jason just stares out at the mess before him, Percy and Annabeth weak and tired and not the same, Hazel facing down Pasiphae, and can only come through to one thought: if he was the hero, why was everyone else doing the work he claimed he would do?

Then the reality hits him. He's not a hero. No, not really. He's just Jason Grace, son of Jupiter who chose the Greeks over the Romans and abandoned the people who shaped him into the people he became (gwen dakota bobby reyna). He's just some messed up demigod who'll be that guy in the future—the guy who tried too hard to be like Percy Jackson and Annabeth Chase but failed. He couldn't even save them from falling into Tartarus. He couldn't stop the Romans from attacking the Greeks. He can't do anything, he isn't smart enough or talented enough or devoted enough.

He isn't much of anything really.


Sometimes he wonders how the others could possibly put up with him. All Jason ever does is get knocked out during battles, and even when he doesn't he can't even be remotely helpful and anything much.

"Do you think it would have been easier for me to just fall into Tartarus?" He'll ask Leo. "I mean, Percy and Annabeth were like our leaders. We were all pretty much lost puppies without them."

But Leo will give him a hard look, as if trying to detect the lines of sarcasm in Jason's face and growing trouble when he can't find any. "You're our leader too, Jason."

Leo doesn't elaborate on what kind of leader Jason is [good or bad], and Jason can't find it in him to ask.


He sees the sadness and the fear eating up in Percy and Annabeth after Tartarus, and can't help the anger he feels for being so fucking useless. If he had been smarter and just a tad bit quicker, he could have been there to rescue Percy and Annabeth. He could have heard Nico and Hazel screaming for help. He could have done something [that a hero would have done] but in the end it doesn't really matter. What happened was done. Jason Grace didn't come to the aid of Percy Jackson and Annabeth Chase, and they spent weeks in Tartarus because of it.

"I'm really sorry," He tells Annabeth late in the night, when she can't sleep again. Her eyes are red with exhaustion and it's the first time he's ever seen the daughter of Athena without an answer to truly escaping Tartarus.

Annabeth shakes her head. "It's not your fault. It's Gaea's, remember?" She attempts a smile, but it's too tight to be real.

"But it is my fault," Jason insists. "I can fly. I could have flied down to save you guys."

There's a sudden look in Annabeth's eyes, as if he's unlocking an idea in her mind that she's never thought of before. She's silent for a second too long. "You couldn't have known that we were going to fall. You were helping Leo."

It's hard to tell if she's trying to reassure Jason or just herself. And Jason can't tell which one is worse.


Heroes are supposed to keep their promises. Heroes are people like Percy who fought Ares when he was twelve and argues with other gods because they're wrong and stupid.

Heroes are people like Annabeth who take on a sole quest to search for the Athena Parthenos, or like Frank who grew as a leader. He replaced Jason, because Jason let him and gave him the permission and the title to become a leader.

Even Nico di Angelo, who wasn't even supposed to be part of this prophecy, kept his promise. He lead them all to the Doors of Death, because he promised Percy he would. Nico may be a lot of things now, but Jason knows that Nico wouldn't back out of something that important.

And what exactly did Jason do? He didn't build a giant ship and a bronze dragon. He didn't learn to control the Mist. He didn't charmspeak Festus to life. He can just fly, and even that's not pretty impressive since no good has ever come out through that ability.

He may be a son of Jupiter, but he's nothing like his dad. Not even close.


When Reyna comes to the Argo II, he's surprised because he doesn't understand. He knows Reyna didn't come for him [not anymore] but it's unsettling to see her here. Because it reminds him of Roman Camp and the fact that he chose the Greeks over them. It was a completely voluntary choice, he knows, but it doesn't take away the little cuts of guilt that he feels.

It's decided almost immediately that Reyna needs to return the Athena Parthenos to Camp Half-Blood, and when Nico volunteers to shadow-travel them the entire way there all Jason can feel is awe. Nico has no obligation to want to do anything from anyone, especially after the whole incident with Cupid and the fear Nico feels for people finding out what he really feels about Percy, but he's still volunteering for this quest.

Without meaning to, he pulls Nico aside. "I'm glad you're doing this."

Nico narrows his eyes. "I need to get out of here anyways."

Jason tries to pretend he doesn't notice the way Nico's eyes linger on Percy before the former disappears into the shadows.


When Percy and Annabeth return from Tartarus, Jason knows that it doesn't matter whether he rescued them in the beginning or not. All that matters is that they're back, and he should feel happy about that. But he can't bring himself to summon those feelings, because it still doesn't feel right.

"Why do you do this to yourself, Jason?" Piper asks.

Jason buries his face in his hands. "Because it's true. I'm not the hero. Not even close."

"So?" Piper counters, leaning to rest her hands on Jason's knee. He tries to keep his gaze on her and not let the distraction get to him. "You're not the hero of this novel. So what? You were the hero who rescued Hera. That should count for something. Also, you're part of the prophecy of seven! That's important too."

Jason just sighs and shuts his eyes so tightly he'll probably get a headache later. "It's not the same."

"What's bothering you?" She asks softly.

"I didn't save Percy and Annabeth," He protests loudly. "I could have, but I didn't."

There's a little bit of what Jason takes as annoyance in Piper's eyes and that hurts a little too. "You couldn't have known that they were going to fall."

"Does that matter? It didn't matter if they were going to fall or not. Rescuing them should have been my first priority. But it wasn't, and now they're suffering so much because of me."

"They'll get over it." Piper suddenly sounds confident and so sure of herself that Jason finds himself believing her. He doesn't care if she's using charmspeak on him right now, he just needs to start feeling better or maybe he'll drop himself in Tartarus just because he wants to. "They're Percy and Annabeth. They have each other. They'll help one another. They always do."

Jason looks into Piper's multicolored eyes and wonders what heroic deed he must have done to win over someone who is much too good for him.


{mostly a jason piece with a side of jason/nico bromance and jason/piper. it's kind of non-linear because i have unorganized thoughts right now. hopefully you guys enjoy it. next chapter is frank and hazel.}

review?