A/N: So I changed things up a little for this chapter and we have Elena's point of view. Next chapter will go back to Damon. Happy reading!
Chapter 4
Elena's POV
Where are you Jeremy?
I have been asking myself this on an endless loop. Jeremy has been missing for 16 days. Sixteen days of not knowing where he is. Sixteen days of worrying, trapped in a nightmare I have no hope of waking from. My mom, Uncle John, Stefan, Caroline, probably the whole town thinks he ran away. I know better. Jeremy wouldn't leave without telling me. He wouldn't risk all of our plans by running away now.
Looking down at the phone in my hands I will it to ring with a call from Jeremy or at least a call from Mr. Saltzman. He is supposed to be able to find the unfindable and since the police are treating this as a runway case they are doing nothing. Sheriff Forbes just gives me a sympathetic smile, says she'll keep an eye on his bank card and he'll come back when the teen angst of the moment recedes. Sheriff Forbes can be a tad condescending at times...like now.
I've exhausted every place I can think of in town where he could be hiding. I've talked to all of his friends, even those from his druggy days. Nothing. No one has seen or heard from him. No one knew of any plans to run away. His girlfriend, Anna, is just as baffled as me. I'm his big sister and I feel useless. It's my job to protect him and I failed. He's out there somewhere cold, alone, maybe hurt. Sitting on my window seat in my childhood bedroom, praying for his safe return, is as much good as I can do at the moment. My heart just aches, all I want is to crawl into bed and hide under the covers. Staying in bed until Jeremy comes home is so tempting. The feeling of the world collapsing in on me feels like...No!
I refuse to think back to when HE left. He didn't care about me or his brother enough to stay around so he doesn't deserve any of my thoughts. He deserves my anger and any belligerent words I can throw at him. Maybe a few slaps and a kick to his unmentionables would accompany those words. He didn't care that we were best friends and I depended on him. He didn't care that we talked about escaping this town, escaping his father and my mother. We planned to face the world together dragging our baby brothers along for the ride. Our dreams were bigger than life and we planned to risk it all to make sure we were happy. Money, power, prestige, they meant nothing to us. We grew up with all those things and we wanted nothing to do with that lifestyle once we were out on our own. He promised he would do whatever it took for me to have a better life than the one my mother wanted to force upon me. Damon Salvatore lied and broke his promise.
If my mother had her way, I would have been the next trophy wife for the first billionaire she found that expressed an interest in me. Ten mistresses, history of a bad temper….none of that mattered as long as she somehow benefited from the relationship. The town's vision for my future had me married to Stefan Salvatore. The merging of founding families producing future generations of Mystic Falls children to continue the towns' traditions was all the old ladies of the sewing guild could talk about. Unfortunately for my mother and the town my marriage fantasies were more focused on the elder Salvatore instead of the younger. But I was young and naïve thinking everyone marries the man of their dreams and gets a happy ending.
I blamed myself for a long time after he left. He was so desperate for love and I stupidly withheld it from him. Despite all our talk about being fearless and taking whatever risks were necessary to be happy, I let fear rule my life. I kept my love for him buried deep inside. He was always honest with me about his feelings yet I clung to his brother like a lifeline because he was the safer choice. I knew loving Damon would either be the thing of fairy tales or would destroy my already scarred and battered soul. I wasn't willing to take the risk. The irony is that as much as I looked to Stefan, it was always Damon that threw me the buoy to keep me afloat. That was why it devastated me when it turned out that Damon was a hypocritical sell-out leaving town for a chunk of his father's money. It look me a long time to stop blaming myself and realize that I didn't deserve to be abandoned. After all we had been through he just left me to deal with everything. My father's death, Uncle John butting into my life and everything that has rained down on me these last four years.
I want to return to when I was a little girl and my dad was alive. A time when my mom at least pretended to love us. When my only care in the world was how to convince my dad to take me and Jeremy for ice cream. I would give anything to be that carefree. That's not reality. Reality is fake smiles and telling people your fine when you really just want to run down the street screaming and tearing your hair out. Reality is a perfect outfit and the appearance of success despite watching all your dreams wither and die.
A knock on my bedroom door breaks me out of my depressive thoughts. John opened the door and I narrow my eyes automatically at him. Why my dad left his younger brother as trustee of the estate until we came of age, I will never know.
Uncle John. He left town not long after I was born, but he made his annual pilgrimage back to Mystic Falls. Usually his visit coincided with the Miss Mystic Falls competition when the entire town gathered. He swooped in, reminded the town he was a devoted member of the Gilbert family only to leave and not be heard from until the next year. Uncle John always creeped me out. He always paid a little too much attention to me. A little too interested in what I was doing, who my friends were, and how I spent my time.
The only saving grace to Uncle John's entrance into our lives was my mother's departure from it. Just like the rest of us, my mother wanted out of this town and she saw her husband's death as the perfect opportunity to leave. Somehow she managed to leave us yet the town applauded her for not depriving us a chance to remain in our childhood home. My mother missed her calling as an actress.
Since my mother was stuck in our little town she decided to be queen bee of it. Part of her image was having the perfect family. Once dad was too sick to really take care of us, mom decided we were undisciplined and needed to be brought to heel. Her words not mine. Dad was too sick to see what mom was doing. She was shrewd enough to know we would never want to upset our father and she used that fact to her full advantage to control every aspect of our lives. Damon was always the wild card and the one area in which I defied her.
"What do you want Uncle John?" My attention quickly left him to drift back to my phone. My prayers were said even more in earnest for Jeremy's return so we could leave this town and our so called family behind.
"It's time to stop moping. Jeremy will come home when he's ready Elena. Your birthday is next week and only a month until the wedding. You have obligations to attend to. One if which is your company downstairs." Uncle John's brusque tone grated on my nerves. Shoving back the response that would most likely be scathing I chose to simply nod. Shoving my phone in my pock, I uncurled my body from the window seat to head downstairs.
My assumption is Caroline will be waiting downstairs brimming with new ideas for the wedding. She forced me to go to lunch today to work on wedding plans and threatened to come back over if I didn't get to work on the seating chart. Of course I haven't even started it. I love Caroline but there is only so much of her I can take when she is in party planning mode. Thoughts of the wedding have me looking down at the ostentatious ring currently adorning my finger. The diamond is way too big and I hate wearing it but my fiancé gets that kicked puppy face and or the jealous face if I leave it off. He believes the size of the rock demonstrates how much he loves me. I classify it more as showing how many millions he has in the bank and that it photographs well in the media. I've been having second thoughts about this wedding for a while. With Jeremy's disappearance, getting married is the last thing I want to do. I refuse to get married without him. I am not looking forward to that conversation.
I entered the living room to see Mason Lockwood sitting on my couch. As always his curly brown hair is impeccable combed, not a stray strand to be seen. The black pin striped suit fits him like a glove. He looks every bit the upcoming politician with his nose buried in his blackberry. There are days I want to rip that thing out of his hand and smash it against the wall.
"I didn't expect you back in town today." I have to fight down the hope that his visit means he found something about Jeremy. I begged him to use his political contacts to expand the search for my brother. He promised he would see what he could to do.
"The Governor is going to endorse my for the senate seat and wants to do the announcement in my hometown surrounded by friends, family and constituents." Figures he is here for his career and not for me. Mason was running for the Virginia state senate. He sees it as the first step on the way to the White House. Mason is very determined and always gets what he wants and being leader of the free world is what he wants.
Before I could respond, a knock sounds at the door. I can't explain why, but that knock feels like a death knell. As I open the door to find a very anxious looking Stefan on my doorstep, I know my life is about to get very complicated.
"Can I come in?" Stefan asks nervously. I simply move aside and he shuffles into the living room giving a brief nod to Mason. Stefan has been working on Mason's campaign why he takes a year off before medical school. It was an odd pairing but the success of Mason's campaign proves it to be a fruitful partnership.
Stefan just stood there looking at his feet not saying a word. All you can hear is the click of his dress shoes on the hardwood floor as he shifts his weight back and forth. The odd silence even caused Mason to look up and stare at him.
"Spit it out Stefan" Mason commands in the way only Mason can and not have people think he is a jerk.
Stefan slowly raises his eyes locking on mine. "Damon's back."
I have imagined this scenario many times and in my head I always envisioned all hell breaking loose at the news of Damon's return. The calm that permeates the room feels like a transcendent experience. No yelling, swearing, or slamming doors. Just silence which is very surreal. The only movement is Mason reaching out and taking my hand. I look up at him and I briefly see a hint of panic before a look of compassion crosses his face. He reaches out and places his hand on Stefan's shoulder and gives it a gentle squeeze.
"This will be a hard time for you with him having been gone so long. He was a bastard for the way he left and I'm sure he will try to worm his way back into your good graces. If there is anything you need, I'm always here." I fight the temptation to roll my eyes. This is politician Mason at his finest. He has always been good at faking empathy.
"Thanks Mason," Stefan responds quietly. His eyes meet mine and I can see he wants to say something and I pray he doesn't. The last thing I am prepared to discuss right now is Damon Salvatore especially with Mason in the room. There is no love lost between the two of them.
"Do you know why he is back?" Mason asks. His tone is surprisingly light with only a hint of curiosity.
Stefan's face scrunches in frustration. "My brother is enigmatic as ever and wouldn't say."
Some kind of silent conversation that I don't understand seems to occur between the two men. Whatever the conclusion of the exchange, it has Stefan rushing for the door saying he would talk to us later. As the door clicked closed, the only sound I could hear was the rushing of blood in my ears as my heart beat out a staccato rhythm trying to process the last five minutes.
A quick pull on my wrist has me face to face with Mason Gone is the sympathetic look and his eyes are filled with the anger.
"You are not to see him. You are not to talk to him. You are not even to breathe the same air as Damon Salvatore." He leans forward letting his over six foot tall frame loom over me.
"It's a small town Mason, I can't help it if we run into each other. Trust me, I have no plans to seek him out." Damon made his choice to leave and if he thinks he can just pick up like he was on vacation he is in for a rude awakening.
"But he'll seek you out. That boy loves chaos and inflicting pain. You," he points an accusatory finger in my direction, "will be his first target."
Trying to extricate myself from Mason's grip, I feel my anger rising. I hate when he manhandles me. "Please don't make it sound like you are trying to protect me Mason. You're just worried about how this will look in the press."
"Yes, I'm worried. I was there when he left Elena. When all your friends, even you're beloved Stefan, left you to go live their own lives I was there. I picked up the pieces and put you back together. If we let Damon back into our lives he will try and destroy us. Our entire future rides on this election and I won't have some blast from the past coming in and screwing it up. Nor will I have the wedding postponed because the bride has concerns over her runaway brother or repressed feelings for the guy that abandoned her." He squeezes my wrist tighter, ignoring my protests, emphasizing his point.
I couldn't hold back the gasp of both pain and shock at this words. I don't know how he figured out my doubts. Only Jeremy and my diary know of them. Guess I'm not as good at hiding my feelings as I thought. Mason was clear about the timing of the wedding. He explained the date was paramount as it would maximize his bounce in the poles leading into the election. There was no room for error or movement of the date. I didn't want to jeopardize his future but Jeremy had to be my first priority
"Mason you're hurting me." He squeezes even tighter for a moment before finally letting go. I open my mouth to explain but he continues his tirade.
"I've been the only one there for you over the years Elena, you can't abandon me now." His voice is harsh and demanding. Closing his eyes briefly, his voice grows softer and he strokes my cheek gently as he continues. "I have powerful connections Elena and those connections will grow after I'm elected. Nothing we have done so far has turned up any hint of where Jeremy is. We need more help to find him, if we move forward with the wedding and get me elected, we'll have that help."
I simply nod rubbing at my wrist fighting back the tears. What he is saying is true. Everyone in my life left me, all except Mason. Despite always being there, times like this have me thinking I would have been better off alone. Every once in a while Mason drops the fake smiles, fake compassion and I see what's buried underneath. Its possessive, it's ugly and it scares me. In those moments, I am an object and not one that is cherished. The feeling that this marriage is a mistake has been a small nagging voice in the back of my mind, but in this moment it is a screaming banshee that dares me to ignore her. If I back out now I destroy Mason's future. I destroy any help he can help to provide Jeremy. Despite my reservations, Mason is right. He has been there for me when everyone else left me behind. It would be wrong to abandon him now. I will push my doubts aside and move forward being at Mason's side as he has been at mine.
Damon Salvatore irrevocably changed my life once. My heart weeps that he is about to do it again and I may not survive it this time.
A/N: See….not a triangle story. Mason is the fiancé and Damon has it totally wrong! A lot of you may be hating Elena at the moment and thinking she is weak. This is just the first glimpse into what her life has been like since Damon left. More to come! Please leave a review and let me know what you think.
