Chapter four

So if a couple months ago may have well been my first birthday, these may as well be my first games. Like many of my memories the information seems more like it's been told to me rather then have actually experienced them. The Games are probably the bast indicator of this though, I know how they work, I could probably recite the whole proses easily. The memories don't feel like my own though.

This year Mother has decided to try something new. We're gong out to watch the reaping live on a big screen down the block. I don't know what to expect, I've only begun to comprehend the rest of my house (and it's a very big house) what could the rest of the Capitol look like? I imagine a world of people just like Mother, a theatre full of them, the thought makes me sick. I guess I'm becoming more and more like Skye every day.

Mother knows this too, I can see her frown eveytime I slip up even slightly. I know she blames Skye for everything, I think she has for a while. But I love Skye and I love Mother. I love Skye despite Mother and Mother despite Skye. Everything Skye tells me about Mother what she's done, what she's doing, what she plans to do yes it's terrible but I can see it in Skye as easily as the tributes on the screen, they're miserable. I'm pretty sure I'd be miserable too it Mother stopped loving me the way she has the others.

I let my head fall back against mothers arm so I can get a better view of the screen without breaking any doll rules. It's hard not to see the projected reaping somewhere in the theatre but the main focus is meant to be the floor to ceiling image to which all the chairs are facing. Seeing as the Reaping is an all day affair the doors at the back stay open leading to a grand hall with food and drinks along with betting and sponsorship tables. People move between the two rooms constantly filing in for the each tribute selection and back out to weigh the newest pair's faults and qualities while socializing. The conversations flow from gambling on the lives of children to capitol gossip without a beat and I can see what Skye means when she calls the citizens heartless.

Skye herself stays rooted to her seat refusing to so much as acknowledge any of the people sharing the theatre especially Mother. Since Mother doesn't dare let me leave her arms I go with her from the hall to the theatre and back again. Eleven times and this will be the last, most people now seated seem uninterested in the screen and several simply stand near the door.

"Everyone's waiting for the last two then the polls properly open" Mother says I assume to me and my sisters though we already know this "what do you think Clarissa do you wanna pick who Mommy sponsors this year?" Well I suppose she was just speaking to me then, I shouldn't be that surprised she goes out of her way to avoid Skye and just plain ignores the twins. I no more want to choose who Mother throws her money at then Celeste seems to want to stay in this loud and crowded building but we'll be here for at least another hour and a half while Mother makes her bets, sponsorships, and gossips the night away. I Nod. Maybe I can pick someone who'll have Mother out of here faster though I don't know how I would be able to tell which unfortunate child's face would accomplish this.

This seems to be the desired reponce because Mother gives a manic giggle and hugs me close. She holds me this way all through the twelfth reaping so I have no way of seeing the last two tributes. I'm close enough against her breast to her heartbeat. I think it's a little too fast. As soon as the male for twelve has left the stage mother has stood to leave for the hall. She is stopped by Skye who tells her she's taking the twins home.

"Mhm ya ok" Mother says not really caring what her other children do with themselves "come Clarissa we'll bet first that way when we sponsor them and their odds go up we'll make more money" she whispers excitedly. Mother rarely makes money off betting on the games, not that it matters I don't think we're lacking when it comes to that. It's obvious she just sees it like most the people shearing this theatre too, as yet another game within the games.

I never noticed before the way that people moved out of my mother's way. I've never really been around for anything outside our parties at home where her command of the room seemed natural. Here things are exactly the same that is to say people are moving around and away from my mother as if she owns the whole building. There was a line stretching around one of the betting tables but it quickly disperses into a semicircle around Mother as she talks to the man behind the desk.

"Heric how are you" she says in her usual sing-song voice.

"Well, very well" he says taking in Mother and I in a way that makes me feel incredible uncomfortable and makes Mother giggle "here to make another bet or just socialize?"

"We can do both can we not?" Mother responds in a way I've never heard her speak before. I've decided I don't like Heric.

"Perhaps when we aren't also accompanied by your... Doll" the way he says it I know he knows exactly what I am.

"Oh yes speaking of Clarissa she's going to be choosing my Tribute this year" Mother says excitedly dropping me onto the table. This promps a bout of whispering from the gathering crowd behind us

"That so" he says neurally. He motions to a wispy dark-skinned girl standing off to the corner, his Avox, she places A sheet of paper in front of where I'm sitting on the table. I look down and see an organized list of names faces and numbers. I look carefully at the 24 faces deciding to actually try and guess at the winner. I know it's sick and playing into 'The Capitol Way' as Skye would put it on her better days but I think I could guess it right. I don't know where this thought comes from but it soon morphs into certainty as my eyes scan down the page.

Of course my movements are all calculated to look as if I'm merely a toy that's moving mechanical and randomly. My hand reaches out and an outstretched finger lands on the face of the girl from seven; Miri Pines. Only thirteen and from a district that doesn't often win but I know it's her, she's the winner. I can hear laughter and grumbling from the crowd but they don't know like I do. The only person I think who doesn't have a negative reaction is Mother.

"Oh lovely Clarissa I like her too" she says completely genuine "Miri what a lovely name! Yes I'll be putting my money on Miri this year Heric"

It takes another three hours for us to leave, in that time I gather from the passing voices that between Mother's sponsorship and the people who seem to have followed her lead Miri's odds have nearly doubled.