Me: I finally have a plot, guys!
Alexia, Grimmjow and Gin: O.O
Ulquiorra: T_T
Me: ^_^ Gin, you opened your eyes...
Alexia: What did you expect? To think that you actually have a storyline…(shudders)
Me: T_T Gee, thanks
Grimmjow: This can't be good…
Me: I can always change the plot and torture you ^_^+++
Grimmjow: I think I liked you better when you just went along with your instinct and wrote whatever the hell popped into your head
Me: T_T I think I liked you better when you were asleep (pushes Grimmjow into a bedroom and locks him in) Now that he's taken care of...
Gin: Am I gonna be in da plot?
Me: Occasionally
Gin: Alright!
Me: TT_TT I love how you don't judge me
Ulquiorra: …
Me: You alright, there?
Ulquiorra: I cannot believe you put me though all that
Me: I'm sorry -.- It's not like I didn't get all teary-eyed when I wrote it
Ulquiorra: (Yawns cutely :3) I suppose you will make it up to me somehow. I will go back to my chambers now, I still need a few hours of rest
Me: O/./O G-go ahead
Ulquiorra: (Leaves)
Alexia and I: …
Me: (Stares at Alexia)
Alexia: (Stares at me)
Both: HE'S MINE!
Gin: 'Ere's the fourth chapter, everyone!
My past was something I never really pondered on. If something happened, it happened, and we couldn't do anything about it. We being…I don't know, humans? That wasn't the point.
But I guess my conscience wanted me to do a whole lot of reflecting, since my dream tonight was an event in my life. And it wasn't exactly happy.
"Ne, Alexia-chan?" Sammy said, a grin on her face, green eyes sparkling.
"Mixing in Japanese with your English?" I asked. We were at our school's playground, under the cherry blossom that both of us adored; it was the only one in our neighborhood. I had bought her lunch once again, she'd forgotten her own money. Again.
"Hai," she replied briskly.
"Watashi wa anata no nihongo no akusento, samī ga daisuki," I shot back at her, laughing when an annoyed look came over her face.
"You know I'm not that good yet," she muttered.
"I said, 'I love your Japanese accent, Sammy.' I wish mine was like that," I half-whined while chomping on a slice of mango from the tree that grew in my backyard.
"Aw, you love my accent and not me?" She asked, winking and sticking her tongue out. I immediately glared at her and attacked, tickling her where she was the most sensitive, her neck and the underside of her arms. After a river of tears were streaming out of her eyes and she could barely breathe, I decided to stop.
"You know what I mean," I told her, smiling.
"Hehe, yeah," she said. Finishing the rest of,my lunch, I fell back onto the grass, to stare at the sky, my hands behind my head. I looked over at Sammy; she was still munching on the small baby carrots that had come in a small package with the rest of our lunch.
"Hey, Sammy, I have m&ms with me." I smiled as her head whipped around to look at me.
"Where!?"
"Here," I said, pulling the packet out of the pocket of my sweater. I didn't even have a chance to look at them before she snatched them away and tore the package open. "Wow, so much for buying you lunch, you could survive on those alone."
"Mhmm!" She agreed happily, munching away. Even without looking at her, I knew that she was sorting the m&ms by color. She'd eat the browns first, then the oranges, yellows, reds, greens and blues last; it was one of her weird habits. I spaced off, staring at the cloudless sky, the sun's warmth slowly lulling me to sleep. I snapped out of it before I could fully fall asleep, though.
Her lips.
My eyes widened. She's kissing me…I didn't know how to react. It wasn't a peck on the cheek, far from it, her lips were fully sealed on mine. But if I pushed her away, I was afraid she wouldn't be able to handle it. Her family was overly strict, wanted the best from her, and it was probable that they'd kill her if they found out she wasn't straight. Literally. I didn't want to top off her overly stressed out life with the fact that her best friend had pushed her away.
"Sammy…please," I murmured against her lips, grabbing a fistful of hair and trying to pull her away as gently as I could.
"No."
I panicked. What if someone saw us? More importantly, her? Her family being as successful as it was, there was a great number of people who knew her as 'that family's daughter'. Word would get around faster than a wildfire's flames could spread. I had to stop before this got out of hand. "Sammy. Stop it," I said firmly, tugging on her hair more harshly. "I can't do this."
"Why not?" She inquired, her voice so quiet seemed like a whisper carried by the wind. She pulled back and I saw tears in her eyes. "You hate me now, don't you? You probably think I'm disgusting."
"Sammy…" Was I disgusted? A bit. I wouldn't want to get kissed by a girl, but this was a friend. Do I hate her? Of course not. I already knew she preferred women over men, but I never thought it was me she was fond of. "I don't hate you. Please look at me, Sammy." Reluctantly, she showed me her face. Endless tears were streaming down her face. I reached out and wiped one away, but she flinched as if scared. "I don't…," a panicky feeling started crawling up my throat, making me hesitate. Tell the damn truth, I told myself. No good will come out of this if you don't tell the truth. I propped myself up on my elbows. "I'm afraid I can't return your feelings."
Silence.
"Oh."
"Sammy—"
"Don't worry, Alexia," she quickly interrupted. "I understand. I guess knowing that I love you as more than a friend is too much for you." She got to her feet and began to run away, but I recovered from what she'd said faster and caught up to her, pulling on her arm and making her face me.
"Sammy, I don't care what you regard me as, I still want to spend time with you."
"As friends? No way," Sammy said bitterly, wrenching herself out of my grasp. "Things can't go back to normal. I fucking kissed you, Alexia! If you think that that didn't mean anything you're dead wrong." There was nothing to say, since it was all true. She didn't even give a parting word as she ran away, back to class.
Gathering both of our things, I made my way back to class as well. I saw her seated at the back of the class, looking like she was handling the situation a lot better than I would've expected. But when I looked more closely I could clearly see the red around her eyes and the way she was fiddling with her hands. Slowly, I walked over her and set her things down on her desk. "You forgot them," I half muttered.
"I hate you."
I resisted my urge to scoff. That's how easy it is to reject your best friend, I thought. Just another case of karma.
At home, I couldn't stop thinking of how she could be acting in front of her parents. Fidgety, clumsy, blank, it was a bit difficult to decide with her. She had major mood swings—I jumped as my iPod ringed. My eyes widened as I saw the caller ID.
Sammy Deida Argure would like to FaceTime, the screen flashed.
I could've broken my iPod in half with the force I used to press the 'accept' button.
"S-sammy?"
I heard a sniff. "Uh-huh." She broke down into sobs. I was silent for a few moments, surprised and elated that she had decided to still talk to me after what happened.
"What happened, Sammy? Are you alright?" I panicked as her sobbing continued.
"No…I can't take it anymore, Alexia! Stupid Audrey, she…," I didn't hear the rest of her sentence as she started crying again. Her camera wasn't active, I didn't know what she was doing right now or looked like. All I knew: I am going to kill Audrey, even if she's Sammy's sister.
"What the hell did she do!? Sammy!"
"I'm sorry, Alexia. I forced you to give me an answer, and I got too mad when you gave me one. I'm so damn selfish. I should've just…" I heard a pause. "Do you remember those really strong painkillers that—"
I was out the door in a matter of seconds.
Her house was about half a mile away. My shoes weren't necessarily for running, but with my friend's life on the line I was there in about three minutes. There were a few close calls at some intersections with hectic traffic; I made it there, regardless. I opened the front door with the key of her house she'd given me at the beginning of eighth grade to commemorate our first year as friends.
"Hey! What're you doing here?" Sammy's ten-year-old sister, Audrey, asked in a nasty and disrespectful manner. I sent her a death glare that made her back away as I stormed up the stairs to Sammy's bedroom.
"Sammy?" I asked breathlessly as I slammed her door open. Panting heavily, I scanned the room. Her bed was completely bare, closet was neatly organized and overall, nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Even her life-size China dolls were—
Wait.
"Oh god," I whispered, walking up to her dolls. One of them looked like a female version of Ulquiorra, except that the doll had normal eyebrows, no hollow mask, no tear streaks, violet eyes and less pale skin. Next to that was one that had curly brown hair, peach skin, gray eyes and bangs going over one of its eyes.
The last one was the most impressive. Sea-green eyes, hazel skin, golden hair; but its eyes were tired, skin red beneath the eyes, its hair clumped and messy.
"Sammy." Tears sprang up to my eyes, not believing the scene in front of me. I grabbed her and hugged the daylight out of her, smelling her scent…vanilla.
"I feel really sleepy," Sammy murmured, attempting to hug me back but not having the strength to. "Please…put me on the bed." I slung her over my shoulder and laid her down on her queen sized bed, then taking a seat met to her.
"Why did you do this?" I asked in disbelief. She always seemed so strong-willed, I never gave a second thought about her doing something like this.
"I guess…," she started, "it was just too much for me. Everything." She chuckled a bit. "When I told my parents, they looked at me like I was a freak. I didn't care. I'm just glad I told them, but then Audrey…," she hesitated for a moment. "We started arguing. She said it was unnatural for me to like girls, and well, you know how much I hate it when people say that kind of stuff." I nodded. "I told her that I didn't give a crap about what she thought of my preferences. But…she saw me. When I kissed you. And she threatened to tell my parents that I kissed you of all people. I told her I didn't care." Her expression turned even more melancholic, if possible. "I remember her exact words. 'I guess you don't care if you kissed your friend or a bitch off of the streets, you stupid, selfish whore'." Her voice cracked a bit at the end. I hugged her again, wanting to kill her sister in the most slow and painful way possible.
"I'm going to kill her," I muttered into Sammy's ear. "I…I should've just beat the bloody daylights out of her when I saw her damn face."
"I'm sorry…," she said, her grip on me tightening while she started having a coughing fit. I let her fall onto the bed and ran downstairs, looking for a phone.
Damn it, I thought. They only have their cell phones. I didn't have a phone, and Sammy had lost hers a week ago. There was no chance I'd ask her parents or her bitch of a sister for a cell phone. And knowing them, they'd say, 'No, she can go rot in hell for doing that to us.'
Then I saw one, on their dining room table. I ran over and dialed 911. "Hello, please explain your situation and location," a man's voice answered the call.
"Location is 2835 north 44th avenue, London. My friend…" I choked back a sob. "She overdosed on painkillers and her condition seems bad." My blood turned cold as I heard Sammy cough. It also seemed that she was sputtering something out.
"I'm sorry, could you repeat that?" Anger boiled through my veins. Can't you people do anything right?
"Fuck you," I spat into the cell and ended the call, running back upstairs.
"Ale—" I heard Sammy say before coughing again. I saw her bed, now covered in vomit. My heart stopped when I saw that her vomit was mixed with blood. A lot more than normal. Sammy was clutching her pillow to her chest, taking shallow breaths. I ran over to her, putting my hand to her forehead. She didn't have a fever at all, but her teeth were chattering. "I f-feel s-s-sleepy." Her eyes were drooping, the clutch on her pillow decreasing. Despite her bed being covered with blood and regurgitated food, I climbed onto it and held her in my arms, sobbing. "D-don't c-cry, Alexia…" she murmured.
"Sammy…" I was at a loss for words. I panicked; she wasn't saying anything, and I couldn't feel her breathing. I looked at her face, hoping to see some sort of sign that she was still okay.
Her pupils were abnormally dilated. I put my hand in front of her parted lips to feel her breath, then pressed my ear to her chest…
Nothing.
"Damn it." If she wasn't dead, I'd have her choking with the hold I had on her right now. Her skin felt colder than ice. I was in a trance; not knowing what to do with Sammy, I closed her eyes and set her down on her bed, arms crossed on her chest.
As if it was some sort of illusion, her image changed. Her spiky chin-length blond hair grew darker and longer, up to her shoulders. Her skin grew pale; two teal streaks going from both of her eyes down to her chin appeared. Her top lip turned black and the other was white as her face. Her feminine body seemed to lose its curves and breast. The hands folded across her chest also turned white, the nails painted black. She turned her head in my direction and opened her eyes, staring straight into my soul. She didn't have eyes, they were dark and endless voids. I realized that it wasn't Sammy anymore.
It was Ulquiorra Schiffer.
DAY ONE, PART ONE
I jolted awake, my head bumping into something extremely hard, making me fall back and clutch my forehead. "Shit," I hissed. As my eyes adjusted to the darkness of the room, I realized what I'd bumped into. "What the hell!?"
"It ain't my fault you decided to wake up like that!" Grimmjow hollered back. He was rubbing his forehead as well. "Do you have bricks instead of a damn brain or something?"
"I could ask you the same thing," I shot at him. I took in our position. I was laying in the middle of the bed, him on top of me as if trying to trap me there. "Why the hell are you on my bed?"
"I, uh, was going to wake you up, what did you think?" Then he realized what it looked like he was doing and immediately got off of the bed. "Er…," he murmured, blushing.
"So," I said, yawning. "You were going to wake me up?"
"Yeah."
"Then I'm going back to sleep."
"…Wait, wait, wait!" Grimmjow rushed forward and gripped the blanket covering me before I could pull it over my head. "You have shit to do, and I don't wanna wait for your sorry ass to be in the mood to do stuff."
I gave him a death glare. "It's not like we don't have all day," I muttered, successfully pulling the covers over my head.
"We don't," Grimmjow told me, lifting the covers and peeking at me. He must've gotten scared at my expression, he immediately let go of the covers once I stared murderously at him.
Alright, so maybe I wasn't a morning person.
…Take out the 'maybe.'
"Five more minutes…" I said, falling back into slumber.
"No way," Grimmjow remarked, grabbing my right arm and pulling me into a sitting position. On instinct (and the fact that I really wanted to sleep) I swung my left hand blindly.
Slap!
It echoed around the room. My blood went cold, seeing Grimmjow's head snap to the side, a red mark on his right cheek. He let go of me instantly; I crawled back cautiously. I could feel something building up inside me, though I didn't know exactly what it was. Grimmjow turned his head and gave me a look that said, 'you're going to be sorry you did that.' I couldn't take it anymore…
I burst out laughing.
I laughed even more when Grimmjow's face got red with anger, completely contrasting with his hair. Everything seemed way too predictable and epic. The dramatic way he turned his head, the whole gist of the moment was hysterical.
"Oh god…," I panted between spasms of laughter. "I'm so sorry—haha! Even though that was an accident…it was worth it. That was priceless!"
"You know what else is priceless?" Grimmjow growled, pinning me down on the bed by my shoulders. "The mess I'll make when I kill you."
My laughter wore away; now I was staring into his cerulean eyes and smirking, daring him to do what he'd said. "Really?" I asked skeptically. "You? Kill me?" I traced my index finger from the middle of his forehead to his nose, flicking my finger off at the end of his nose. His anger was gone, now replaced with embarrassment of what I was doing, although to me it wasn't a big deal. "Don't forget, I know your weakness."
"What?" he asked, then seemed to remember yesterday and before I could tickle his sides he put both of my hands above my head, making sure I couldn't do anything to him.
"Well, now you've made this boring and provocative," I remarked, sticking my tongue out. My struggle against his arms lessened, giving him the message that I wasn't going to fight him. "What exactly was so important that I had to do today?"
"Well, you were supposed to go take care of Ulquiorra, but before—"
"Holy shit!" I cursed, throwing Grimmjow's weight off of me, making him fall off the bed with a loud thump. I hastily got out of bed, grabbed my clothes and ran into the bathroom connected to my room. How could I fucking forget?
"Well, that was fast," Grimmjow said, his voice just outside the door. "I can't believe all it took was the mention of Ulquiorra's name," he taunted, making me blush. I was grateful he couldn't see my expression right now.
"I-i swear, if you open that door—" I started, trying to change the subject.
"I'm not Nnoitora."
"…"
"Alexia?"
"Sorry, I…spaced off," I lied. After showering, putting on my first change of clothes since I got here and brushing out my hair I felt fresh and clean. I came out of the bathroom to see Grimmjow passed out on the couch. I smiled genuinely; I had felt relieved and comforted when Grimmjow told me that he wasn't like Nnoitora. Frowning, I thought of where the bastard could be right now.
"You ready yet?" Grimmjow asked while yawning. His eyes fully opened and took in my appearance: a dark blue t-shirt that fitted my form perfectly, with army-style sweatpants. I was barefoot, an ankle bracelet with the batman logo on my left ankle, the one that had been injured. I used another scrunchie to put my hair in a loose braid that went over my shoulder. With nothing on my feet, the floor felt cold and smooth, like granite.
I noticed that Grimmjow was still looking at me, making me a bit uncomfortable. I put a hand on my hip. "See something you like?" I teased, smirking as Grimmjow blushed and looked away. "Lead the way, Kit-kat." He got up from the couch and cracked his back before going to the door and walked out with me behind him. I got lost in thought as I followed him. About what, you ask?
Absolutely nothing.
In a few minutes we arrived…at the entrance to Szayel's lab. I almost facepalmed myself when I barely remembered about Gin's visit and what he'd told me. I had to go to Szayel's lab first. It appeared Szayel didn't want to get any information on us today, he personally greeted us at the door.
"Are you feeling better, Alexia?" Szayel asked me.
"Yes," I replied. "I was able to recover overnight…" Then I remembered the dream and felt a bit unsure of myself. If I had recovered, then why was I dreaming about Ulquiorra dying? Not only that, but in the same way my friend had, to top it off.
"Well, anyways," Szayel started, "There's actually quite a bit you need to know before you can start taking care of Ulquiorra." He took out a package of about 80 papers (a guess, of course) and handed them over to me. I stared a while at the excessive amount of paper. Ulquiorra must be a handful, I thought. "It would literally take a day to explain everything verbally, so I just put everything in text for you to refer to."
"Thank you," I said, although it came out sounding like a question.
"We should get going," Grimmjow said, starting to walk away. I quickly bid Szayel farewell and followed him.
"Ah, Alexia!" Szayel called out before we could turn a corner into one of the many hallways. I glanced at Grimmjow and then walked over. He stayed back, waiting for me. "I almost forgot," Szayel murmured, as if not wanting Grimmjow to overhear even though he was more than twenty feet away. He handed me a vial with a clear neon pink liquid and a bottle with pills no bigger than an uncooked grain of rice. "Give him three drops of these every day; the best way would be to put them in his drink. He'll also take four of these pills before he eats. He may not want to, so you'll have to find a way to convince him to take them."
He's more stubborn than I thought.
"Thank you, Szayel." I was a bit unsure of myself, wondering what could happen if things went wrong.
"Don't feel unsure of yourself," Szayel said; I wondered if there was some sort of pill that could make you read minds. "I'm 96.47% positive that you'll do fine."
"So…you're 3.53% positive that I'm going to fail?" I asked.
"Quite the pessimist, aren't you?" Szayel remarked, chuckling. "Well, you should get going, a certain blue-headed warden is waiting for you."
I looked over my shoulder at Grimmjow, who was glaring at us. More specifically, me. "Well, I'll see you later," I said, walking away and waving.
"You will," Szayel said, waving back. For a moment that almost sounded like an omen, but I brushed it off, thinking about the current situation.
"Took you long enough," Grimmjow muttered as I caught up to him and he started walking again. The hallways seemed to get darker as we ventured further, giving off the impression that Las Noches could look like a prison if it wanted to.
After about ten excruciating minutes of silence and darkness, we arrived at what looked like where all the espadas' rooms were, like a vicinity. We walked down the long hall. Looking at the doors, I saw that they were numbered, with a symbol below them. At ten, there was something that resembled a lizard, or maybe a dinosaur.
Yammy.
At nine was…something. Goddamnit, it reminded me of a fucking overweight jellyfish. Eight had a butterfly of sorts, or maybe a dragonfly. Seven had a pumpkin with a heart engraved on it; I had to restrain my laughter to coughing while Grimmjow gave me a weird look. He slowed down when we walked past his.
"This's your room, right?" I asked. Below the six was a panther that looked just like Grimmjow's adjuchas form.
He hesitated before answering. "Pretty much." I could sense that something was off about him, but figured that it could wait. My pace, as well as his, sped up while walking past Nnoitora's room. Probably just a fucking mantis, I told myself. We finally reached Ulquiorra's quarters, which had a bat below his number. Next to the door was a cart with two plates of food that had those covers restaurants would use to make it seem as if there was some sort of surprise inside.
"I'll be in my room," Grimmjow informed me. "After you're done with him, just come over and knock, then we'll take you back to your room."
"Alright, but…what exactly am I supposed to do?" I saw Grimmjow contemplating whether or not to facepalm himself. "I've never done this before, you know."
"Same thing he does with you, I guess. Come in, give him his food, tell him something and get out."
"You make it seem really easy," I mumbled.
"It is easy."
"Yeah, but…," I murmured, glancing at Ulquiorra's door.
"It's not like he's going to kill you or something," Grimmjow assured. I playfully punched his shoulder…then winced.
"Damn you arrancars and your hierro," I complained, rubbing my hand and trying to soothe the pain. I took a deep breath, then made my way over to the cart and pushed it past the door and knocked. I didn't hear a sound. I knocked a bit louder but there was still no answer. "Ulquiorra?" I hesitantly asked.
"Ulquiorra, answer the fucking door!" Grimmjow shouted, startling me. I heard a cough and without thinking, opened the door. Ulquiorra was sitting on his bed, the bed's covers down almost beyond his hips.
He was completely naked.
"Crap!" I shut the door loudly, panting heavily with a face about as red as a ripe tomato. I covered my face with my hands, hoping desperately that my blush would fade away. I leaned against the wall and slid down, covering my head in my knees.
"The fuck's wrong with you?" Grimmjow questioned me before taking a look inside. As quickly as his head peeked in, it popped back out, a scowl now replacing his confusion. "This fucker," he muttered, going back inside and slamming the door shut. I heard muffled shouts and a thumping sound coming from the other side of the door and a few minutes later Grimmjow came back out. "You can go in now," Grimmjow told me in a bitter tone. I took one last look at him while he walked over to his room and, once again, slammed the door. Shaking my head, I started spacing out, wondering why Grimmjow was so mad at Ulquiorra. I mean, I didn't see anything beyond his hips…
"Woman." I nearly jumped out of my skin, forgetting why I was here. "Are you not planning to come inside?"
I nodded wordlessly and pushed the cart inside, closing the door gently behind me. Looking over at Ulquiorra (once I got over the initial embarrassment) I saw that he now had the top part of his clothes on, though I didn't know if he'd put on the bottom as well.
And I'm sure as hell not going to find out.
I noticed that Ulquiorra was staring at me intently as I uncovered the two plates of food. They were the same as the food that I ate; as before, I couldn't exactly tell what it was. Taking out the vial and the pills, I unscrewed the cap on the vial and was about to put in three drops when Ulquiorra interrupted.
"What are you doing?"
"I, well, Szayel said that I needed to put these in your drink in order for you get well sooner," I explained, not looking at his face that I could still feel staring at me. Gulping, I took my time in making sure I didn't insert too little or too much of the pink liquid into the his drink. I was starting to feel uncomfortable; Ulquiorra had absolutely no reason to stare at me so intently. "Um…why are you staring at me like that?"
"I do not know what you are speaking of, woman. How exactly am I looking at you?"
"Well…er, you're looking at me as if…there's something wrong with my appearance," I tried to explain.
"There is nothing wrong with your appearance."
Damn it, how can he say it so calmly yet make me blush so goddamn much!? I cried out in my head. I had almost spilled all of the vial's liquid into Ulquiorra's drink. "O-ok," I murmured. This all felt awkward; it was like when you bumped into a friend you hadn't seen in a year, and had absolutely nothing to talk about.
Silence grew dominant once again as I opened the bottle of pills and dropped four into my hand. I walked over to Ulquiorra and handed them to him, reminding myself that all I was doing was making contact with his hand and it wasn't a big deal.
Yeah right, I groaned in my head. I almost gave in to the urge to grab his hand and press it against my cheek…goddamnit. Ulquiorra stared at the pills, then back at me, and back at the pills.
He handed them back.
"What're you doing? These are for you, not me," I told him.
"That is obvious." I scoffed.
"Then why'd you give them back to me?" I asked, handing them back. This time, he didn't give them to me.
"I do not need medications in order to recover from my…condition," he explained. Arrogant, I noted. "Nor do I need to eat anything; we are hollows, there is no need to eat. If anything, eating is a sign that hollows are becoming more human." I wondered why Ulquiorra was suddenly chatty…and it seemed he was voicing his opinion and not just telling facts.
"Well, you need to eat anyways," I said. "Don't you get hungry?"
"No."
"Oh, come on," I prodded. "You've never once looked at human food and thought that you really wanted to eat it?"
"Never."
"Really? At all?"
"If you are trying to make me hungry in any way it is not working."
"Fine," I gave up, sighing. Walking over to the cart and getting his food, I set the plate on the bed.
The food looked somewhat like ham or steak, or a mix of both. On the side were small squares of what looked like gelatin, all different colors and shapes. They weren't exactly tasty, but they didn't kill me so I managed to get used to them in the first few days here.
Maybe Ulquiorra doesn't like eating because the food's horrible, I contemplated.
"I am not eating, woman," he told me.
"Well, you have to." I handed him his drink.
"As I said before, I am not hungry and will not be no matter what you say."
We both stopped talking once I heard a stomach growling.
"Pfft!" I bursted out laughing, fueled by Ulquiorra's shocked expression.
"What was that?" He asked, placing a hand on his stomach.
"Ulquiorra, your stomach just growled," I said once I had stopped laughing. "It's a sign that you're hungry. Just eat some of the food and it'll go away, ok?"
He seemed to be having an inner war in his head, questioning if he should eat and not have to worry about his stomach talking to him, or not act like a human and starve. I took advantage of the opportunity and quickly scooped up some of the food with a spoon and held it up to his mouth.
"Just a little, ok?" I prodded.
"No."
"Ulquiorra, come on!"
"I said, 'no—" I shoved the food into his mouth while he spoke. I winced inwardly a bit as he almost gagged, then reluctantly started chewing and swallowed. I took the spoon out of his mouth and he started coughing uncontrollably, putting a hand on his throat, eyes screwed shut. After a few minutes he stopped, panting with a bit of sweat on his face.
"Ulquiorra, are you ok? It was just food, I didn't shove it into your mouth too hard, did I?" I panicked. What if I've made his emotions go haywire again? Seeing him sway, I put a hand on his forehead, checking to see if he had a fever. I was shocked at the outer temperature of his body; He's burning, I thought. "I'm so sorry, Ulquiorra," I apologized, grabbing him by his shoulders and setting him down. I grabbed the plate of food and put it back on the cart, along with his drink. I saw another door and assumed that it was the bathroom; I opened it and went in, wet a towel and folded it.
"What are you doing?"
Ignoring him, I put the towel on his forehead. I managed to fit it under his mask, being careful not to touch it. "This should help," I told him while going over to the table across the room and pulling a chair up next to his bed and plopped myself down on it. "I really didn't mean for this to happen." I looked at him out of the corner of my eyes, not able to face him after what I'd just made him go through.
"Had I not taken those pills, my condition would be at its worst right now," Ulquiorra replied, confusing me. "The pills you gave me suppress my spiritual pressure, making it difficult for the other to show up often. I am at my weakest right now," he told me, his voice tinged with a bit of bitterness, "which is an advantage for him." I knew without asking who he was talking about. What I was confused about now was why he was acting more emotional all of a sudden. "Those pills have side effects, though. I tend to act more human and obtain the vulnerability to diseases. I also act out of character." Well it was official: everybody in Las Noches could read minds.
"…I can tell. I mean, you're not acting extremely emotional, but you have let your thoughts and reactions loose," I said. "But what I was wondering was when you took those pills."
"Before you force-fed me."
Gee, thanks for reminding me.
"And you didn't drink anything with them?" He shook his head. "Didn't they taste bad?"
"A bit. It was not to the point could not handle it, though, so I felt that there was not a need to drink or eat anything along with it." He seemed to be back to normal, despite his chattiness.
"And yet, your stomach growled," I remarked, smirking.
"I suppose it did."
" 'I suppose it did', my ass," I said. It was strange, cursing in front of him. "You, Ulqui-cielago Schiffer, were hungry. It didn't just do that on its own."
He stared at me. "You seem to be extremely comfortable in my company," he noted. I almost blushed, then realized it really wasn't anything worth blushing for. He was just observing, I thought.
"I am comfortable. As I said before, I'm glad I have you to talk to." I started fidgeting with my hands, remembering what had happened after I'd told him that the last time.
"Are you wondering what had happened to me after you'd said that?"
"Yes," I admitted, sighing. I couldn't keep it in anymore. I felt like I was barricading myself from Ulquiorra without knowing. "Are you comfortable explaining it to me?" I asked.
"No."
"…Do you think you'll ever be able to tell me?"
"Probably not," he informed me. I sighed, thinking, I'd kill to find a way to make him open up to me. "I will ask you something."
"I love how you don't ask if you can ask me a question or not."
"What is love?"
My eyes widened, snapping my head in his direction. "W-why do you ask?"
"I am curious," he replied.
"Well, I can try to explain, but…er, what do you know about love?"
"Absolutely nothing," he deadpanned.
I sighed. "It might take a while," I warned him.
"I have more than enough time to listen."
Crap. What was I supposed to tell him? 'Oh, love is just when some fictional character you've been obsessed with is suddenly real and you're going through living hell because you know they won't accept your feelings'?
Actually, that was pretty good. But he wouldn't understand.
"Um, I guess you could say that there are different levels of love," I started. "Regardless, you have a need to make the person you care about happy of comfortable. They also want that for you. It hurts to see them going through pain. If it's family members, depending on what terms you're on with your family, that pain can become unbearable. With friends…," I spaced off a bit, remembering Sammy. I realized that besides my thoughts wandering off, I was starting to tear up. Turning away, I wiped away the half-formed tears. "Well, it also depends on how close you were with them. But I think the worst kind of pain is with the person you truly love."
Jesus Christ, Alexia, you sound so damn cheesy.
"Some people, when the person they love dies, they can't bear it and kill themselves. Other people go insane. Most people, in time, get over it; there are even some people who go and marry someone else."
"Explain what the love you are talking about at the moment is like," Ulquiorra interrupted. I glared at him.
"Bossy."
"I am simply asking."
"I know, I know. Ok, so…this kind of love is like…you can't live without that person. It's almost like they own part of your soul. You can't stop thinking about them and are always worrying about their well-being. You're fond of almost everything about them and would be able to share your lives together without ever thinking, 'why do I have to meet him/her again' or, 'I can't wait to get away from him/her'."
"I see. You were saying something about people getting married after the person they used to love dies. What does 'getting married' mean?"
"It's when two people decide they will go through a ritual of sorts to symbolize that they're officially going to spend their lives together."
"Ah."
"So, does it make a little more sense now?" I asked.
"Not at all."
My eye twitched in anger. "You're telling me I just explained all that and nothing sank in?"
"Exactly," he replied.
"Well, I tried my best. I've never really been in love with…a human before," I said, altering my phrase so that it would be technically true. "So I don't know too much about being in a relationship or anything like that."
"What do consider me as?" My blood went cold. What was I going to tell him? "Woman, I asked you a question," he said after I didn't answer him right away.
"I…well, to me, you're, well…," I mumbled. One of my faults was that I'd start saying the word 'well' a lot when I didn't know how to explain something or couldn't because I was afraid of what the outcome would be. When I'd gotten angry at Ulquiorra yesterday, I had started my sentences with 'and' a lot. I really need to get it together, I thought, sighing loudly.
But I still didn't know what to say.
"Are you not able to express yourself clearly enough in a way I'd understand?" he suggested. I nodded wordlessly. Better than telling him how I really feel, I thought, a bit disappointed in myself. I knew that if I wanted to I could tell him straight out that I had been obsessed with him for the past two years.
And still am.
"Ulquiorra, do you have an idea what a heart is?" I asked him.
"I understand that I do not have a physical embodiment of one, yet am still alive." I looked at him, then his hollow hole; his jacket (whatever it was) hadn't been zipped up all the way, exposing it and also some of his perfect, pale chest. I could almost see the number four to the left of his hole. Before I knew what I was doing, I was sitting on the bed, tugging the fabric of his jacket aside to see his rank. His eyes widened as I put a finger to it, tracing it. Out eyes locked before I leaned into him, pressing my ear to the skin right next to his hollow hole. "W-what…," Ulquiorra murmured, cutting off his own question as he realized what I was doing. He remained silent and still as I listened.
Silence.
"There's…nothing," I muttered, still not leaning away from him.
"I am literally hollow, woman," he reminded me. "It does not matter whether I have a heart or not."
"I know, but I feel like I've failed you." I gave him some space after realizing I was pretty much laying down on top of him, blushing.
"Do you think it is necessary for me to have one?"
"No," I answered, a bit too quickly. "Well, I don't know what it's like to not have one, but you're fine just the way you are, Ulqui-cielago," I assured him, throwing in his nickname just to calm the awkwardness. "It's not like you're going to act like a completely different person if you have a heart."
"I am a bit envious of all humans," Ulquiorra randomly told me.
"What? Really?" I asked incredulously. "I thought you found us boring and crazy."
"Yes, well…that was before I met you."
Oh god, I thought. I couldn't look him in the eye. Does he even know what he's saying? My fucking head's going to explode from all the blood rushing up to it. "W-why are you envious of humans, though? If anything, humans should be envious of arrancars. Your powers are beast."
"I have the powers of a beast?" Ulquiorra inquired, making me give a small laugh.
"What I meant to say is that your powers are awesome and brilliant."
"What I am envious of is your ability to display your emotions so freely," he elaborated. "And yes, I am well aware of what emotions are, even though I do not know what a heart is."
"Oh…I guess that could be something to be envious of," I said. "Does that other person only try to take over when your emotions aren't in check?"
"For the most part. I would not like to talk about it," he told me. I nodded my head in understanding.
"I think I should be going now," I murmured getting up from the bed and carrying the chair back to the table. How long had I been talking with him? It seemed like it had been years. "I'm coming back in a few hours, right?"
"That is correct," he replied. It seemed like the less emotional part of him was starting to become dominant again, and I didn't know whether I should've been glad or disappointed. "Hopefully your next visit will not involve you jabbing a spoon down my throat."
"I did say I was sorry, and I only had to do that because you didn't want to eat," I scolded. "Besides, I didn't give you any more after that. Don't complain."
"I am not complaining."
"Even if you're not, you need to eat." I took a sip of water. "You didn't drink out any of this, did you?"
"I did, actually."
I almost choked on my water. "Y-you did?" I blushed when he nodded. "Where exactly did you…um, put your mouth on?" I handed him the glass so he could look at it.
"The same exact spot you just drank from." Oh, please kill me now. "If you are worried about attracting a disease from drinking on that—"
"Oh, trust me, it's not that," I muttered. Crap, was that an indirect…kiss!? I shook my head, trying to clear the thought out of my head. I took a few deep breaths. "Well, um, I'll see you later," I reminded him, making my way over to the door. I was about to open the door when—
Slam! The door swung open, hitting me square in the face. "Hey, Alexia! You're wasting too much damn—the hell happened to you?" Grimmjow stupidly asked. I was holding my nose with both hands, trying to cover up the fact that my nose was bleeding. I gave him an are-you-kidding look and realization dawned his face. "Oh."
"Geez, I feel sorry for the doors," I said, my voice sounding nasal. "It's not like I was getting tortured, you could've waited a few more minutes. I was actually on my way out when you decided to burst in."
"Sorry," Grimmjow said, not sounding sorry at all. I started tapping my bare foot in impatience. When he didn't do anything, I burst.
"The least you could fucking do is get my a damn napkin," I snapped at him, stomping over to the cart and finding one myself. "I'll see you later, Ulquiorra."
"I know."
Sighing, I walked out the door, not caring if Grimmjow was behind me as I closed the door. He barely made it out, almost getting squished by the door. "Hey, I said I was sorry."
"Didn't sound like you were sorry," I replied bitterly.
"What do you want me to do? Get on my knees and beg for forgiveness?"
"Although that actually sounds like a good idea—"
"No way!"
"I'd rather you say that you were sorry and sound like it," I explained.
"…I'm sorry." It definitely sounded a lot more sincere than before.
"That's more like it," I commented, smiling at him. "Why are we in such a rush now? I don't have anywhere to go for the next few hours."
"Actually, Aizen has something planned for you."
"Really? What does the bastard want now?" I asked.
"You're going to have dinner with the espadas."
Grimmjow: Remind me why I had to be Alexia's warden
Alexia: Aw, come on. It's not like you're not enjoying it
Me: Or would you rather have Nnoitora in your place?
Grimmjow: -.- I guess not…but either way, she's making my life a living hell.
Alexia: ^_^ That's what you're paying me for
Gin: ~.~ Since when were we paying you?
Alexia: T_T Um, since I said so?
Me: Yeah right, it doesn't make sense to pay you for being a bitch
Alexia: Ò.Ó Hey, you're the one making me seem like a bitch!
Me: Eh, true that ^_^ I'm extremely happy this week, I got to my first benchmark of ten reviews!
Grimmjow: She wants to thank KillingDesire, koalakrazykarla88910, Bonnie Fritz, Irah, shadowoftheblackdeat, bfa123, and that one anonymous person who've decided to leave reviews
Me: For those people that reviewed, Grimmjow would like to give you all hugs!
Grimmjow: Crap T_T It was bad enough when Alexia hugged me, she almost ripped my vest in half while doing so…
Alexia: -.- It was the spur of the moment
Grimmjow: Do I—
Me: Yes, you do T_T
KillingDesire: x.x Please
Grimmjow: Ok…(Hugs) Hey, he doesn't wanna let go!
Alexia: Well, we'll see you in the next chapter!
Me: Bye!
Grimmjow: O.O Wait, are you just going to leave me like this!?
KillingDesire: I don't mind at all ^_^
Gin: See ya later!
