Author's Note: So sorry for the slow updates. I do my best to keep up, but real life takes priority! There be fluff here, and relationship/personal introspection. Next chapter? Kay shows up.
Disclaimer per usual – I do not own Star Wars or any aspect of the SW universe; just a fan with an idea. No profit here, just fun for me.
Leia's car service's discreet black sedan drops Cassian and Jyn off in front of Jyn's building. They're both just slightly tipsy after the football game, and Cassian has to admit that he was seriously impressed by how much beer the tiny woman managed to put away today. With every beer, she'd been a little more affectionate (though, to be fair, it was welcome and reciprocated), so he can honestly say this has been pretty much the best Sunday he can recall since before his parents died. The Giants even won the game.
It's nearing five o'clock, and he suddenly realizes that he's seriously tired. At Jyn's insistence before they left for the game, he has a small pack with him that he'd left in the car. It has a change of clothes in it as well as Bodhi's sweatpants, which she insisted that she can wash later. "Want to come up? Bodhi probably won't show up until 9 or 10."
He nods, following her into the lobby. He knows he should go home and get his laundry done and other usual Sunday things managed before the work week begins, but he can't bring himself to tear himself away from her just yet. At the game, at halftime, they'd talked about tonight. As much as he'd like to stay over again (waking up with someone is seriously underrated in his book), he also wants to get a little space to process the last day and a half; at the game, though, he'd said it was to give her time with Bodhi, only a half-truth. So, he's heading home in a while.
As they step into the elevator, her phone dings. She peers down at it, scowling. "What the hell?"
Cassian lifts an eyebrow. "What? What's wrong?"
She just hands him her phone, and his eyes widen as he reads the lengthy text message she just received. As he's reading, another one comes through. He shows it to her, and she snorts. "I love Shara. She's so willing to sell people out when they act like jackasses."
Cassian shakes his head, raking a hand through his hair. "They are seriously betting on when we're going to have sex for the first time?"
"I'm so sorry that these are the people I come with. At least Chirrut is staying out of it." Jyn scowls again. "Looks like I need to spar with Baze again, because I really feel like kicking his butt right now."
The text had been Shara warning Jyn that Han, Leia, Lando, Kes, Bodhi, Luke, and Baze have all taken bets on when he and Jyn will have sex. The only open night left in the next fifteen days is this Tuesday. Shara's second text said, "Do it Tuesday, and I'll split the winnings with you two. I'll buy us in. It's a hundred bucks per day, so that's fifteen hundred split two ways."
"That's an insane amount of money." Cassian observes, a little blown away.
"Stands to reason. They are insanely competitive. They just seemed to forget that Shara is too, and that Shara plays dirty." Jyn shrugs, clearly used to the antics.
They get to her apartment, and she unlocks the door. He motions to her to go in first, so she does, waiting for him just inside. When he enters behind her, her coat is already on the floor. She reaches for the door, pushing it closed and backing him up against it, pushing his own coat and his pack off of his shoulders.
After pulling him down to her, she presses a searing kiss to his lips, sinking her hands into his hair. As he had this morning, he leans down and lifts her up. Without breaking their kiss, he turns them so that her back is against the door, her legs wrapped tight around his waist.
Her back hitting the door makes her gasp, and he takes advantage, his tongue finding its way into her mouth. She moans softly, and her tongue meets his. His mind is somewhat blissfully blank at this point, with her small, strong frame pressed against him and her hands still in his hair. Eventually, they pull apart, panting a little. She leans in, kissing along his jaw, finding a sensitive spot just below his ear.
As her mouth moves along his skin, between kisses, she says, "How are we going to wait until Tuesday, damn it?" He snorts out a laugh at that, and she lifts her head, grinning. "You know we have to, right? They deserve to lose the money, and at least Shara had the guts to confess and the wisdom to cut us in."
He shakes his head, chuckling and lowering her to the ground. When her feet hit the floor, he watches as she pulls out her phone and taps out a text message. Before she hits send, she shows it to him. The proposed response to Shara impacts him in a few ways. He's slightly embarrassed, but he's also equal parts turned on, affectionate, and flattered. The text says, "Tuesday it is. But that's split three ways, Shara, because if I had my way, whoever has today would be winning."
He takes the phone from her, and he hits send before handing it back. "Works for me, querida, but can we at least have dinner, just you and me, first?"
"What did you have in mind?" She smiles up at him.
"Actually, will you let me cook for you again?" He brushes her hair back out of her eyes, a mess from her winter hat.
She nods. "If you let me bring wine."
"That works." He bends down to pick up his pack. "You like shrimp?"
"I like pretty much all seafood." She grins. "So, white wine?"
Opening his pack, he pulls out Bodhi's sweats and the hoodie and hands them to her. "That also works."
She takes them, putting them in the hamper in the bathroom. When she emerges, he hesitates. "I should probably go home, Jyn. I need to do some mundane things like laundry, you know?"
Her face falls a little. "I was hoping you might want to hang out a little."
Putting the pack down again, he walks over to her and wraps her up in a hug. "Jyn, bella, I think we need a few minutes to breathe. I'm a little overwhelmed by this, by you, by," he hesitates for a moment, "Suddenly being part of an us." She tenses in his arms a little, and he is quick to explain, "I mean that in a good way, Jyn." He steps back and looks at her.
She still looks worried, so he takes her hands and leads her the short distance to her sofa. As they had last night, they sit facing each other. She doesn't say anything, so he offers, "Jyn, what you said at my apartment this morning, that you're scared because you already find yourself needing me?" She nods, and he goes on, "It's the same for me. And it's scary. I've been alone a long time, and I know you have, too, despite your small herd of friends and family. For me, this is a new reality, one I really, really want to work. But I need a little time to process this. Don't you?"
######
At his words, Jyn starts to relax. Reluctantly, because she really just wants him to stay, she nods. "I probably do." Something occurs to her. "The Tuesday thing, Cass, if you think it's too fast, we don't have to –"
She's cut off by his lips on hers. After a moment, he leans back, pressing his forehead to hers. "Querida, I want you. A lot. I mean, more than I've ever wanted anyone. But there's no clock. Betting pool aside, if it feels right and we're both ready Tuesday? Great. If we're not, one of your other crazy, wonderfully inappropriate friends will win a ridiculous amount of money."
Jyn laughs softly. "If they get to be too much, I can tell them to bugger off now and then." She turns serious. "Except Bodhi. I can't do that to him. I think you already understand that, though."
"I do, and if Gabriela was still alive, I'd likely feel the same. Family is family. I meant it when I said he can come crash at my place if he wants to. This is a decent couch, but there he'd have a bed." He presses a soft kiss to her temple. "Honestly, if Luke is working and you aren't here for some reason, he's welcome then too."
She smiles up at him, wondering what the hell she did right to find him. Then, her smile turns into a smirk. "Family is family, no doubt, but I will not hesitate to tell Baze and Chirrut to bugger off now and then, especially Baze. I love them both dearly, but Baze makes a sport of trying to see how much he can piss me off. It gets annoying sometimes. Chirrut is just nosy, and then he makes these wise, perfectly spot-on observations that are helpful but also irritating because you feel like you should have sorted it out on your own."
Cassian hesitates for a moment before asking, "Has he always been blind?"
Jyn nods. "Always – from birth."
He gives her a sheepish smile. "I'll admit it, it felt like he was watching me like a hawk last night. You can tell Baze that he's got to work on his scowl, because Chirrut is far more intimidating."
She can tell that he's a little embarrassed to admit that, and she wants to put him at ease. "I felt and feel the same way. Baze is big and grumpy and overbearing, but he's honestly a teddy bear underneath it. Chirrut's calm observation, on the other hand, makes it feel like you're left completely open. I wasn't particularly enamored with that as an angry thirteen-year-old who just wanted to protect her brother."
"I can only imagine." He reaches out and cups her cheek in his palm. "Are you OK? I don't want to go if you think it's some sort of pulling back or rejection. I swear to you that it's not."
"I believe you, Cass." She sighs. "And you're right. A few hours of quiet and then a couple of hours of shit TV with Bodhi is probably a good idea."
He grins. "We'll have to watch the new season of 'The Amazing Race' together. Please tell me that you openly heckle the TV? Because I do, and I need you not to judge me."
"Of course!" She almost looks affronted. "I loved what you said last night – how many of those twits go on that show without being sure that they can swim and have at least one of them able to drive a stick? I guess it's from the same pool of twits who go on 'Survivor' without learning how to build and start a fire."
"Or who go on 'Top Chef' without at least one decent dessert recipe memorized?" He lifts an eyebrow at her.
She squeaks happily, pressing a kiss to his lips and then hugging him close. "Oh my God, I've found the perfect man." She pulls away, hoping that he doesn't quite realize that she's only partially kidding.
Chuckling, he stands up and offers her his hand, pulling her up with him. "We should have some good tequila on hand for when we watch Amazing Race. We could make it a drinking game. Someone gets lost, take a shot. Someone says, 'why do people live like this,' take a shot. Someone says, 'Do you speak English,' take a shot."
"Cass, we'd be shitfaced before half an hour was up." She smirks. "It sounds awesome."
They walk towards the door. She's a little gloomy that she won't get to curl up on him tonight, but she does understand what he was saying, and she agrees with it. When she stopped to take a moment to think about it just now, it was a little overwhelming. "You know I'm probably going to end up texting you, right?"
"I was thinking I should warn you about the same thing, but I'll also tell you that I crash by about ten on Sunday nights. I open the clinic at 7 am on Mondays." He picks up his pack again, and turns to look at her.
"OK. So if I don't get a response after ten, I shouldn't go break in the way Bodhi did on us this morning?"
"Good call." He brushes her hair back again, leaning down and kissing her gently. She pushes up on her toes to meet him, and she clings to his sweatshirt for a minute. When they break apart a moment later, she leans down and grabs both of their coats from the floor. She hands him his, and she hangs hers in her small coat closet as he shrugs into his.
She turns back to him, pulling his scarf from where she can see it in his pocket, wrapping it around his neck for him. "Stay warm, OK?"
He leans down and kisses her again. "Good night, Jyn."
She reaches behind him and opens the door. "G'night, Cass." As he heads towards the elevator, she calls, "Cassian?" He turns and looks, a curious expression on his face. She smiles a little shyly, something very out of character for her. "I had a really good time today."
He nods, his expression softening into a look that makes her feel a little warm and squishy inside. "Me too, querida."
With one last smile, he heads towards the elevator, and she softly closes the door, leaning back against it. Out loud, she says, "Oh my, Erso. You are in way over your head here." But then, she smiles. She's never felt this out of her element with a guy, but it's feels like it's in the best possible way. She hugs her arms around herself. Her phone dings, and she looks down at it. It's Bodhi, telling her he'll be over at about 9:30. She looks at her watch. It's not quite 5:30, giving her four hours.
She texts back an OK and a promise of leftovers. With her phone, she calls the pizza place a block over and orders a large pizza, just artichoke hearts, onions, olives, and fresh sliced tomatoes, a nod to Bodhi's preference for vegetarian pizza, and she jumps in the shower, knowing how much time she has before it gets here.
She takes a few minutes extra in the shower, letting the hot water sluice over her, easing some of the tension in her body. She's tired, and it occurs to her again that Cassian was right. This is a little overwhelming – that really is the right word. When she gets out, she stares at her reflection in the mirror, wondering what he sees in her. To her, he's beautiful – that floppy hair, the puppy dog eyes, everything.
She can acknowledge that she's decently nice looking, but she's also rough around the edges in some ways. Her hair is messy most of the time, makeup an afterthought. It occurs to her, though, that while he'd made a point to tell her she looked beautiful last night, he'd agreed to meet up with her after meeting her looking a bit of a mess. Years in the home of Saw didn't exactly do great things for her self-esteem, though. Neither did her ex last year, who told her that she just wasn't feminine enough for him.
Jyn refuses to waste much brain power on her asshole ex, but the memories of Saw can still get to her. Saw's M.O. was to find weaknesses and exploit them. In her case, that was to make her feel inadequate – not good enough to protect Bodhi, not smart enough, too disrespectful. Saw claimed it was his way of toughening her up.
For Bodhi, it had been worse, though. Saw had recognized that Bodhi was terrified. He would purposefully loom over the slight kid who was afraid of his own shadow, and he'd made no secret of his derision. Later, he'd terrorized Bodhi over being gay. The thing about that was that Jyn was pretty sure that Saw didn't actually give a shit that Bodhi was gay – it was just a way to get at him, again in the name of making him tougher.
She shakes her head, trying to banish the memories. Wrapped in her toweling robe, she goes to her sleeping alcove and pulls on a long-sleeved t-shirt, sweats, and a pair of wool ragg socks. She takes her robe back to the bathroom, where she combs out her hair. When it's de-tangled and whisping softly around her face as it dries, she grabs a bottle of water out of the fridge and goes back to her bedroom, where she plugs her phone in.
A knock at the door a moment later tells her that the pizza is here. After she pays the delivery guy, she grabs two pieces and puts them on her plate, taking it all to her bed. She hops up on it, pizza on the bed next to her and iPad set up on her small lap desk. She flips to her work email, reading through the two she got from Baze. She rolls her eyes at the first one, because it's all about her "boy." The second one is about a meeting they have with a new potential client tomorrow,
She munches on her pizza as she then catches up on the news and on the other football scores of the day. Thirty minutes later, it's getting dark outside, and she sets the plate and lap desk aside. She looks out her window, peering out over the city to the north. She loves living here – it feels so alive to her. She can't imagine living anywhere else.
Her mind turns to Cassian. She goes warm thinking about how he said he'd thought about fostering a kid. She wonders how she and Bodhi would've done with a foster parent like Cassian. She knows he'd be a brilliant parent. She swallows hard. He wants a child, clearly. It's not something she's thought about a lot, but she's now picturing a little girl or boy with Cassian's eyes and her nose and dark hair falling across his or her forehead. She's not so sure about her own potential parenting skills, but maybe Cass could be the nurturing one while she's the protective one. That might work.
She curls up on the bed, head on her pillow and clutching his pillow from last night to her chest. She dozes off, tired from the late night and the full day. She's startled awake when her phone rings a while later. She surprised to see on her clock that it's already 8:30. Grabbing the phone, she grins at the name as she answers. "Miss me already?"
######
As he walks down 10th Avenue, Cassian is already questioning his decision to not stay with Jyn a while longer. He then chastises himself, thinking that is exactly why leaving probably was a good idea. He's been independent since his parents were killed. His aunt tried hard with him, but they both had lost enough that getting close was difficult. It's part of why the last day and a half has him so off-center. He can't remember the last time he was anxious to see someone again.
It's amazing to him just how easily she wandered over his walls and apparently how easily he did the same with hers. From the moment he met her yesterday (how is it possible that it was only yesterday?), he didn't just like her – he feels like he trusted her. That's miraculous in his book. Since his parents died, he has only truly trusted his aunt and Kay.
He shakes his head. He can't wait to introduce Kay to Jyn. That will be highly entertaining. In the seven years that he's known Kay, there has only been one woman he was introduced to. She ran screaming, but he'd been OK with that, as they weren't a good match anyway. Given Jyn's crazy family and friends, Kay will stick out but not too badly. He's just weird in a different way – almost coldly analytical, but loyal to almost a fault.
When Cassian's aunt died, the service was relatively small, just her friends from New York. Then, out of nowhere, Kay just showed up, imposing and stiff in a black suit. He just hovered near Cassian the whole day, making sure he ate and drank water and had moments when he needed them. Cassian knew then that Kay was strange and not exactly well-versed in the social graces (or more specifically, he's well-versed but thinks they're largely a waste of time), but he has Cassian's back. That's likely because Cassian stood up for Kay more than once at Cornell, where Kay's attitude and off-the-charts intelligence often irritated others.
Arriving to his building, Cassian goes up and lets himself into his apartment. He looks around for a moment, realizing that while the good-sized space and nice view has been a sanctuary since he bought it, it feels painfully empty and quiet tonight. He pictures Jyn's small space, so perfectly suited to her, and he thinks about how it would look to blend her things in with his. He wanders through the kitchen to his bedroom. Just like her, he also just has a double bed, the frame simple and the mattress ready to be replaced.
He catches himself thinking that he should just wait until Jyn moves in. He likes her platform bed with the extra storage, and the mattress itself was really comfortable. He can't help but wonder when her lease is up, something he knows is a little crazy. He admonishes himself out loud, "Day and a half, Cassian. You've known her a day and a half."
He takes a shower and then goes to his kitchen, pulling some leftover lasagna out and heating it up. He sits on his bed and flips on his TV, watching ESPN's evening football coverage. He feels silly, because he's completely at loose ends. He mutes the TV and stares out the window. It's a dark night, but at least the snow is done for now. He not sure how much time passes before he finds himself thinking about his parents for the first time in a while.
His father in particular would love Jyn, especially how feisty she is. He thinks his mother would like her, too, especially if Jyn let her see her vulnerability. They would both admire how she protected Bodhi and continues to do so. His eyes move briefly to the picture next to his bed, one of his whole family the year before Gabriela died. He sighs. She'd be just a year younger than Jyn if she was still alive. He still gets a heavy feeling in his chest when he thinks of her.
He shakes his head. A wave of loneliness washes over him, something he hasn't felt in a long time. Before yesterday, he was pretty OK with being alone. He certainly was interested in finding someone, but the New York dating scene can really suck. He's not a Tinder or kind of guy, and unlike Bodhi with Jyn, Kay isn't exactly one to be pushing Cassian into blind dates – quite the opposite. Kay, to Cassian's knowledge, has never been on a date and has zero interest.
But now, everything is suddenly different. He misses Jyn. Maybe wasting a lot of time overthinking it is stupid. He's scared, but he knows she is too. There is a level of comfort in that knowledge. He's not sure what he thought he needed to work out – at this point, all he wants is to call her. He looks at his phone. It's not quite 8:30, so Bodhi probably isn't there yet.
Taking a deep breath, he scrolls to her number and calls her. It rings several times, and he's about to give up when he hears a slightly groggy Jyn say, "Miss me already?"
"You have no idea." He admits it freely. "This seemed wise when I left. It's feeling less wise now."
She laughs softly. "So, talk to me, then. I tried thinking. I fell asleep. I blame the beer."
He laughs in return. "What do you want to hear about?"
She grows serious. "What is Mexico City like? What was it like for you as a kid?"
For an odd reason, he is warmed by the idea that she wants to understand this part of his past. Hers is simpler – she grew up in Manhattan, the Bronx, and Brooklyn. He starts to talk, and he can tell she's listening intently by how she peppers him with questions. They never talk about him coming back to her place. They both know that she should spend time with Bodhi.
They talk until Bodhi gets there, moving from his youth to hers, as well as talking about her college years. Those were admittedly wilder than his. At about 9:40, Jyn has to hang up. Bodhi is there and pestering her to let him talk to Cassian, and Cassian laughs and says, "Tell him I'm old and have to go to bed, querida."
"You're only a year older than he is, so yes, that's perfect." She snorts. "Good night, Cassian."
"Good night, Jyn." He hangs up the phone, staring at it for a moment. He goes to his pictures and finds one from today, a selfie they took in front of the stadium. Her cheeks are pink, her hair messy from her hat. He turns out the light and goes to bed with the thought that she's the most beautiful woman he's ever met.
