Sorry it took so long! It's been crazy, crazy, crazy here! You know work, family, holidays all that jazz. But here is chapter for - completely unbetaed because I am working on finishing this by Christmas for my girls Brits and Belle. And Brits doesn't get to read it until it's posted! Enjoy!
When Burt awoke the next morning he was met with an empty house. He checked his son's room and his bed was empty. It was still messy and slept in, the bathroom was used and unkempt, and his clothes from the day prior were thrown on the floor. He began to clean up his son's room with a heavy heart. Over the past two days has abruptly said goodbye to the son that he used to know. His vibrant, confident, cleanly son is gone.
No, not gone: lost. Kurt is just lost and he needs to find his way home.
Burt made Kurt's bed and cleaned up his floor. After he slowly made his way downstairs to start his day. As he poured his morning coffee and read the newspaper his thoughts kept drifting. He still had no idea what he was going to do for Kurt, how he was going to help him.
At 7:15 on the dot he made his way to the truck to start is day at the shop.
Blaine awoke with a groan. The stench of alcohol and stale cigarettes mixed with the odd smell that he can't quite place from the motel make his nostrils flare. It's something he should be used to by now. This has been his routine for the past few years. The only difference in waking up today and waking up last week is that this week he has a bed to sleep on.
His head was pounding, the room was spinning, and there was nothing to drink in the room except for Wal-Mart brand coffee made with bathroom water. Oh well, beggars can't be choosers right? He brewed the horrible coffee and went out to smoke a cigarette, hoping he would hear from Burt soon.
He sat on the stairs of the motel and contemplated his situation coffee and cigarette in hand. He looked across the view – which included the parking lot and the back of the Wal-Mart next door – and sighed. He couldn't believe this is what his life has become. Just a few short years ago his view was overlooking the Village. He was Dean's List at NYU with a promising career ahead of him. He had parents who loved him and supported his dreams.
Now all he had was this. He had whatever little money he had left from their life insurance, he's back in shit-town Ohio, he's a college dropout and his future is screwed. His only friends now where named Jack and Newport, sadly they weren't the greatest of company.
Well, he figured, life was starting to look a little better. He found a place to live and possibly a job. Suddenly the realization hit him. He could have a job. He has no proper work clothes and everything he does own reeks of cigarettes and whiskey. He couldn't possibly go to work like that.
"Fuck." He murmurs to his friend before closing his eyes, willing himself to go back to sleep.
Kurt woke up with a start at six am, his stock alarm tone chirping in his ear. He turned off his alarm and rolled onto his back and covered his face with his pillow. Fuck, it's bright. Well, as bright as it could be at six am, but his hangover extenuates every sensation. He was ready to roll back over and go to sleep when he remembered why he sent his alarm.
He shot out of bed as quickly as his sluggish body and mind would let him, stripped out of his clothes and shuffled to the shower. There was a day that he would have crucified himself for treating his clothes in such a manner. But those days were gone as were the clothes. He sold all of his designer clothes when he could no longer supply his habit. Kurt of today has no regrets. Kurt of today actually prefers it that way – to be completely numb.
He quickly washed the stench of his night off of his body, the generic scent of Axe filling the bathroom. As the hot water beat against his back, he felt some of the drag start to wash from his shoulders. His fog lifted a little allowing his emotions to come back to the front burner.
Had he still more tears to cry he probably would have cried. The guilt and shame he felt rushed through his veins and added fuel to his self-hatred. He threw himself to lean against the wall of the shower, hitting his head on the wall harder than would be comfortable for most people. The pain that shot down his body just made him worse, he just wants to be numb. Nothing can hurt you when you're numb.
He rushed through the rest of his shower, there was too much thinking. Kurt hated thinking. More than anything else he just wanted his bottle and his bed. He wanted to pretend like the world didn't exist. Sometimes he didn't want to exist.
It took him less than ten minutes to throw on a pair of too big jeans, a t-shirt, and old dirty Reeboks – Reeboks. He ran his hand through his hair to get it out of his face, picked up his phone, cigarettes, and lighter and headed down to the kitchen. At least the shower helped his hang over – somewhat.
Almost as much as a cigarette, Kurt wanted a cup of coffee. He saw his dad set the timer on the coffee pot and it just finished. He grabbed a mug out of the cabinet and milk – in the door, second shelf down, to the right out the water – and poured himself a cup. After replacing the milk her took the mug outside and sat down on the swing just as he had the previous morning.
Yesterday his cup of coffee on the swing started ok and ended horribly. Today that could not happen. Today he had to worry about Zachary. Zachary was the only good thing in his life. He was the only person who didn't judge him, loved him without conditions and without prejudice. He had to be okay for him and only him. Today was his day, which meant, today Kurt would be sober.
If Rachel said she was just worried, that would be an understatement. She was terrified. She already told Zachary that Uncle Kurt would be here to bring him to school and, needless to say, the boy was excited. There was no one more – except for maybe, maybe, his mother – that he loved more than his Uncle Kurt. But Rachel knew that Kurt was spiraling farther and farther into this black hole and she is no longer there to try to pick up the pieces.
When they lived together, it was easy for Kurt to keep his promises to the boy. She would make sure he was awake and dressed, she would call his job – like a concerned wife – and say that he was far too sick to make it into work, when in all reality, he was just piss drunk in their bathroom.
When they lived together and Zachary was awake, Kurt stayed mostly sober. It wasn't until the boy went to sleep that he drank heavily. On the occasions that he wanted to drink and the boy was awake he would go out to the bars and stay until the cops had to drag him home. That was on more occasions than Rachel would like to admit.
But now the two friends are home with their respective fathers and no one to look out for Kurt. Yes, there was Burt, but it's not the same. What is going to happen to him without her there? Without Zach there?
As she dressed her young son she just prayed that a small miracle would blow her way and Kurt would walk through the door before they left. Zachary would be heartbroken if he didn't.
Thankfully, there was some sort of luck on her side because when she happened to look out the window in the living room as she tied his shoes, she saw Kurt walking down the sidewalk, aggressively smoking a cigarette. She smiled.
There's always hope.
Blaine woke up for the second time feeling like his head was splitting in two. He was sure than if he looked on his pillows it would be covered in brain matter – because he was sure than his head exploded in his sleep.
"Fuck Jack, you're supposed to be my friend." Blaine groaned as he attempted to roll out of bed in the way that caused his head to move the least. Jack Daniels was most definitely not his friend this morning. Last night, in those moments where he forgot the shitty hand he's been dealt in the past few years, it was his best friend. He even dialed his mother's number, which he never deleted from his phone. It was sobering hearing the ding, ding dinnnggg. The Verizon number you are trying to reach has been disconnected or is no longer in service. Please check your number and try again. He threw the cigarette he was smoking down to the parking lot a story below. He took the rest of his bottle to the head and cried himself to sleep.
Now he shuffled to the bathroom to relieve himself wishing that he was drunk enough to forget what happened last night. Last night felt like he lost them all over again, that he got the phone call again. He couldn't put himself through that again. He washed his hands and stumbled to the dresser which his cigarettes adorned. He picked up his cellphone and lighter and opened the door.
The sun blinded him as the rays beat down on him. The light stung his already sensitive eyes but he couldn't bring himself to care. He had something to do. He couldn't relive the pain he felt last night. He had to let go of his parents, he had to say goodbye.
He lit his Newport and leaned back against the siding of the hotel. He inhaled deeply as he scrolled through his contacts.
Dad 614 -555-2894
Delete.
Mom [ heart emoji ] 614-555-2893
Delete.
And finally:
Home 614-555-0098
There was no home anymore. That place didn't exist. Home is where the heart is, and everyone he had in his heart was dead – gone. With a heavy heart, a lone tear, and a tote of his cigarette he pressed the button.
Are you sure you want to delete contact?
No.
Delete.
As soon as Burt got into the office he got busy. He had a lot of things that had to be done, and all of this worrying about Kurt and his situation has caused him to fall behind. Perfect time to hire someone new. He didn't want to waste the time it would have taken to go online and run the boy – Blaine's – background check so he called an old friend of his, to see if he could run one at the station.
"Officer Spotke, how can I help ya?" A tired, yet cheerful voice answered on the other line.
"Hey Nick, it's Burt. Burt Hummel."
"Oh hey Burt, what can I do ya for? I haven't see you down at Mack's lately."
"Things have gotten busy at the shop."
"Of course, of course. I understand." He paused. "So what's up?"
"Well, I need to hire a new assistant at the shop and I'm drowning in work, so I really don't have time to wait for the regular background check to come in. I was wondering if you could run a quick one."
"Yea man, let me just turn on my computer." There was a pause of about a minute before Nicholas Spotke spoke again. "Okay Burt what's his name?"
"Blaine D. Anderson." Burt heard his friend's voice hitch.
"Is something wrong?"
"No, no. It's just that name sounds really familiar. I had a case a few years ago – really bad accident over on i75 – where a couple was killed and they had a kid. I'm pretty sure his name was Blaine. Just, it was a brutal scene. Bad memories."
"Sorry man, I didn't mean to make you relive anything."
"No worries, it's par for the course. Anyway date of birth and social security number if you have it."
Burt told him both and the two men chit chatted for the few minutes it took for the officer's outdated system to bring up Blaine's information.
"Okay Burt. I just got everything back. Same kid I thought it was. Crystal clear background check, not even so much as a disturbing the peace charge. And if it went to college – I think that may be a miracle."
"He told me he had to leave school unexpectedly."
"Well there's your reason. He looks like a good kid on paper. You have my go ahead."
"Thanks Nick. Tell Rhonda and the kids I said hi."
"Will do Burt, will do."
Burt hung up the phone and attempted to center himself with the information his high school friend gave him. Burt Hummel was not a nosy person, he knew what was and wasn't his business and he learned to mind it. This is a reason why so many people in Lima respected Burt and came to his shop. Burt didn't go airing their dirty laundry. All he cared about was that the invoice was paid, not that Amy O'Reilly was passenger in a man (who's not her husband's) car when it came in for an oil change.
Not only did he mind his business he didn't go out purposefully looking for information. Unless it was about his family – at that point all bets were off and he would go through hell and earth to make sure everything was right.
This is why it was very odd for him to pull up Google and to be staring at the multi colored letters. Burt Hummel was curious about the boy that he was ready to hire.
Accident i75 Anderson
The search page gave him a quite a few results. He scrolled through a few until he found one that was what he was looking for.
Dayton Daily News
A late night accident on I75 claimed the lives of Richard and Julia Anderson of Westerville on October 22, 2009. The couple were reportedly going to visit relatives when a semi lost control and veered into their lane….
Killed on impact…
Unidentifiable…
Survived by a son, Blaine Anderson, currently residing in New York City…
Burt quickly logged out of the internet and palmed his face. This poor kid.
Kurt walked up to the Berry's family home as quickly as his aching body would let him. He made this promise and he is going to keep it. He knocked on the door at 8:10 am, just in time to bring his light to school.
"Uncle Kurt!" Kurt looked down as an excited shout rang through when the little boy threw open the door as quickly as he could.
"Hey Buddy!" Kurt dropped to a squat and pulled the boy in closely. He quickly wrapped his arms around the small boy and held him as tightly as he could. "I missed you so much Buddy!"
"I missed you too Uncle Kurt. I missed you yesterday. It was weird you not being there. Ya know something Uncle Kurt? I think my mom didn't think you were coming. She kept looking out the window. But I knew you were coming, because you always come for me." The little boy rambled on for what seemed like one long run on sentence.
Kurt weakly smiled at the boy. "Can I tell you a secret?" Zachary nodded as Kurt put his mouth to his ear. "I'll always come for you."
Zachary's smile easily went from ear to ear. "Even when you're sick? Mommy and Grandpas said that you're sick."
At that moment Kurt indeed felt sick. His stomach churned at the truth in his innocent words. However, he forced himself to keep the smile on his face and he answered with a grin. "Especially when I'm sick, because you make me better."
Zachary flung his arms around his surrogate uncle, the closest thing to a father the little boy was ever going to have. "I love you Uncle Kurt. Get Better."
Kurt had to swallow the lump in his throat and force his eyes to dry the tears threatening to fall. Today he would do it for him, today was a day he was going to stay sober. He had to.
"Come on, let's get you to school Bud." Kurt choked out while getting to his feet. He grabbed Zach's left hand with his right and dried the escaped tears with the back of his left.
It is going to be a long day.
Blaine wondered around downtown Lima for a few hours thinking about the complete 180 that his life has done in the past four years. He wondered around the town's Goodwill looking for bedding. Four years ago it would have been nothing for him to go into Bed Bath and Beyond and spend a couple of hundred dollars on a new bedding set. His parent's would have charged it to their card, happy to do it for their only child. Now he went through the aisles hoping that he wouldn't have to go to Wal-Mart and get a thirty dollar cheap bed-in-a-bag set. He had no guarantee of income currently and he couldn't justify spending more money than he had to.
It seemed like luck would be on his side today. Half way down the home goods aisle he found a comforter still in the bag, the original plastic lock tie still hadn't even been broken – brand new. He looked at the picture on the packaging. Brown and cream corduroy/Berber fleece. It looked comfortable and warm. The best part about it was that the queen size comforter and sham set was $15 marked with a green sticker. Today he would get an additional fifty percent off of it. Today was his definitely his lucky day. He put the bag in his cart and went strolling through more aisles seeing if he could find anything else he could use.
By the end of his trip he found the comforter, two pairs of jeans, and a J Crew sweater all for a grand total of $17.50. He was happy with his purchases. He had some more things he had to buy and even though he didn't want to spend the extra money they were things he was going to have to get new.
He walked the three blocks to the Wal-Mart by his temporary home and picked up his necessities. Underwear, socks, sheets, two pillows, personal care products, and a few quick meals. Everything he would need to last him at least a week or two.
Before he knew it he already went back to the motel, dropped off his purchases, and went across the street to the package store. He got a six pack and another pack of cigarettes. Anything to get his mind off of the depressing thoughts that have been plaguing him as of late.
No sooner than he cracked his first beer his cell phone vibrated loudly across the table it laid across.
"Hello?" He asked quietly, not recognizing the Ohio number.
"Hey, is this Blaine?"
"Yes, speaking."
"Hi Blaine, it's Burt from Hummel Tire and Lube."
"Oh, hi sir."
"No, none of that sir nonsense. Listen kid, I got your background check back today and I was wondering if you could come by tomorrow for a few hours so we can go over some things."
"Oh! Absolutely. Wow. I mean, that was fast."
Burt laughed gruffly on the other end of the line. "I have my ways. So, what time would work for you?"
"Well, I have to meet Puck before noon to pay him and get my key, so anytime in the afternoon."
"That's great. I'll see you at one?"
"Yes sir- er, - I mean Burt. I'll see you then."
"Have a good night Kid."
"Thank you sir, good night." He replied before disconnecting the call. A small smile swept across his face. It was far from the blinding smile he once had, but it was the most he smiled in years.
Today was a good day.
Rachel and Kurt walked back to the Berry's home in silence. Rachel, a tad bit emotional from her son's first day of school, and Kurt – well Kurt was being himself. After ten minutes it was Rachel who finally broke the silence.
"So, Kurt – your dad called me last night."
"Oh."
"You gave him quite a fright." There was a tense silence for a moment before Kurt spoke again.
"Well, there you have it. Me in a nutshell – a fuck up." Rachel meant well, but Kurt's moods changed with the winds.
"No, Kurt. You're not a fuck up." She said as she stopped walking and pulled his arm to get him to stop and look at her. "You are wonderful. I just, I really want you to find yourself again. I miss the old Kurt."
"Well, I wish the same could be said for you. I much prefer the new Rachel." Ouch. Rachel looked down at her feet, willing herself not to cry. It wasn't uncommon for Kurt to lash out, especially when he feels like he's being attacked. "Ugh, I'm sorry Rachel."
"It's okay."
Kurt lifted her chin with his finger to get him to look at her. "No it's not. I hate being like this. I want to change. Hell it's why we came back here right?" Rachel nodded meekly. "I just – I don't know how."
Rachel stood on her tip toes and threw her arms around his shoulders. "We'll do it together. You can do it. I believe in you."
Kurt hugged her back, her words playing like a mantra in his head. I believe in you. I believe in you. I believe in you. But at this point, he didn't believe in himself.
"Are you going to come back to my place for a while? I know it's only been a few days, but I feel like it's been forever since we saw each other."
Kurt nodded and gave a slight smile. "Sure, as long as you have coffee."
"I always have coffee."
That's where they found each other two hours later. Snuggled closely on Rachel's ridiculously pink bed – Seriously Rach, you're twenty seven don't you think it's time for a more grown up bed? To which she only replied, "I just got back home. My dads ordered a new one on Overstock for me. – watching My Best Friend's Wedding and sipping coffee. For the first time in quite a while Kurt felt at peace. His mind was only slightly yearning for a drink, far from the demanding cry most of the time.
Yes. Today was a good day.
Well my beautifuls here is chapter 4. Just a note for my fic CK... I am going to be away until next week so no update this week. I'll do my best on working on something during travel time but I make no promises. I'll probably be asleep for most of my traveling hours - I hate flying. One day I'll be able to afford first class (yea right)
So I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving - and until next time :)
Also this does not have to do with this fandom but I wish to pay my respects to Paul Walker whom, as we know, passed away several days ago. He was truly a generous man with a kind heart. He will be missed.
And to all of you - please stay safe.
