Title: Going away to Uni Series :Pt 2 - Healing Process
Author: Abigael
Summary: The Jedi discover more about Abi
Disclaimer: Not my characters **if ONLY** I own myself tho. NO SUEING PLEASE. I'm just a lowly student and fan!
Feedback: Please please please please!!
AN: First part to the *actual* series. Enjoy. BTW this is un-betaed. All skrew ups are my fault.
Please Note: All fics are subject to mood swings. hehe.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------###### = Change P.O.V
/\ ...../\ = telepathy
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Qui-Gon looks up a little later at the end of the Jedi's conversation, their decision made. "Uhh.." He starts, a little puzzled. "Speaking of Abi..where *is* she??"
Obi-Wan laughs "And you call yourself a Jedi?!" Obi Wan asks in a Scornful tone and throws an M&M at Qui-Gon, who promptly sends it spinning back to hit his apprentice in the nose. Obi-Wan grumbles and searches for her presence in the force and finds it unconcious. "Don't worry. She's asleep. We should respect that." All three Jedi nod and Luke leaves the Padawan and Master's quarters.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I wake up slowly to find my room completely dark.
//HANG ON.// I look over towards my window to see...darkness. //Where the *hell*?! There was a skyscraper there when I fell asleep. And Coruscant is never dark like this.// I stay perfectly still, my head swimming. I hear the soft rustle of someone moving.
/\You are very observent. How did you sleep, little one?/\ comes the velvet mental-voice of Darth Maul, just before I see him step into my line of vision and kneel beside the bed.
I raise an eyebrow. /\ And you would be here because....?/\ His eyes are like Solar Flares as they lock onto mine.
/\ You are my apprentice. /\ I laugh softly and look him dead in the eye, not letting any thoughts that may show my fear cross my consiousness.
/\ I am no ones apprentice, Darth Maul. Not yours, not anyones. /\ I feel my anger surging forward, but calm myself. He will not get the better of me.
Maul merely smirks. /\ Ahh. You have a will of your own, I see. Very Well. We shall see in time. /\ And then, in a swirl of his black robes, he is gone.
I sigh and look over at the time...1. I get up and walk to the window, slipping behind the curtain and wrenching open the window. The unfamiliar, but still comforting lights of a city flood my bedroom. I sigh and smile looking around at the view the so reminded me of the one from my house on earth. A wall and the pink and blue glow of the city beyond. I grin and go back to bed.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Obi-Wan moves slowly over my body, planting kisses on my lips, neck and eyelids. He whispers into my mind and I groan and fall back onto my pillow. He slides down my body like a great snake, licking and nipping, down between my breasts and over my stomach, leaving a path of wildfire in his wake. Obi glances up at me, grinning at my engaged expression and spreads kisses down my thighs, slowly pulling them open...
I feel soft kisses pressed onto my cheek and my eyes flutter open, and Obi- Wan grins.
/\Pleasant dreams?/\ He tries to ask innocently and I blush, before hitting him over the head with a cushion. "What?!" He asks and I laugh.
"*VERY* funny. You do that again and I might haveta jump you." I grin and he smirks.
"That a promise?" He asks as I stumble from bed to make some coffee.
I giggle "Don't try me, paddlewan." He grins and jumps up onto the counter and I wince. "Well *someone* had their caffeine fix early this morning. What have you been upto while I slept..or don't I wanna know?" I ask slightly fearing the response.
He grins, slightly wickedly. "You shall see in time." He murmurs and a shiver runs rampent down my spine, as I remember the confrontation with Maul from earlier that morning. Obi-Wan has in the meantime dissapeared from the kitchen and I become instantly worried.
I raise an eyebrow and walk quietly out of the kitchen into my sitting room. I glance around but see no signs of the wicked padawan. I sigh and start back to the kitchen only to jump when I see Obi blocking my way back. "One thing I *will* say about Jedi..they certainly keep you on your toes." I say softly and Obi-Wan chuckles. I carefully slip past him, back into the kitchen and drink my coffee.
"Abi.." he whispers softly. " I...want to know..about you. There's something about you..that phrase I came up with the other night...your past..your future..I want us to know each other." I look up at him and smile.
"Well..I'm guessing you know the easiest way for us to do that? And if your prepared to see my past, I'll show it to you." I manage to smile slightly. "And I always wanted to know how Jedi ticked..."
Obi-Wan smiles. "First things first, though. You need to learn the basics of the force." I nod and he pushes me towards the fresher door. I look puzzled and he continues. "My master is waiting..." I grin and walk in closing the door behind me before Obi-Wan follows. I emerge fifteen minutes later in fresh clothes and look to Obi-Wan.
"Ready when you are." He grins and takes my hand, leading me back over to his rooms. He opens the door and I see Qui-Gon meditating on the floor and we walk in quietly, letting the door slide shut behind us.
Qui slowly comes out of his meditative state and smiles at me, motioning for me to sit opposite him. I do so and I feel the lightest brush against my mind, a bare tendril of the Master's force strength. "You *are* strong in the force.." He murmurs and I cant help but smile."First things first.." He says as his mind twines around mine. "Shielding." He shows me the force patterns for it and I mimick them and testing them carefully.
I smile. "Ok..what's next?"
Qui smiles. "Try and direct your thought at me." I nod and close my eyes, focusing on the warm tendril of thought that is Qui-Gon's mind, projecting a line I read on one of my lists about the many uses of the force in bed into his. He chuckles and I open my eyes and grin. "Did you catch that, Padwan?" Qui-Gon asks, after his laughter subsides.
A fairly blushing Obi-Wan responds, "Yes, I did." He raises an eyebrow at me and I raise my hands.
"Don't look at me! I didn't write it, although, the possibilities are truly remarkable..." I grin and trail off, seeing the slightly amused and slightly awkward looks on the Jedis faces.
Qui-Gon breaks the silence. "What you must do is shield our thoughts from anyone else," I feel more of his presence oozing along the outside of our bond surrounding it. I spread my mind along it and meet with Qui's cocooning in our conversation line. I hesitate.
/\ Is it working? /\ I project nervously.
The masters mental chuckle rumbles through my mind. /\ Indeed it is. You learn fast./\
I grin. /\ Thank you, Master Jinn /\
He smiles into my mind. /\Your meditation and relaxation techniques will serve you well./\
I raise an eyebrow. /\Shouldn't you *not* be browsing my memories while you teach me? If you wish to mesh with my mind..at least ask./\ I finish in mock disgust.
Qui-Gon laughs softly. /\My apologies. I do not wish to know anything you do not wish to share...Save one detail..How did you come to meet Obi-Wan, and how do you know so much about us?/\
It is my turn to laugh. /\ Are you *sure* you wish to know Master Jinn? /\ He frowns slightly, but nods his ascent. I project the memory of Obi-Wan and Yoda in the grocery store in my suburb, complete with cache of chocolate and alcohol. I bite back a giggle at his stunned reaction. /\ I warned you.../\ I almost taunt, and Qui-Gon laughs.
/\ And the second? I'm almost afraid to ask.../\ I grin and project a memory of the first time I had seen episode I, showing the awe and respect I had felt, and still do feel. While trying to filter out the magnitude of lust I have felt since that day..and failing miserably. The bond between Qui and I is silent as what he has seen and felt sinks in, I almost think he has severed the connection.
I pull back from our bond and open my eyes, flushing many and varied shades of red. I look up to see not only Qui-Gon, but Obi-Wan staring at me as well.
I shiver, suddenly feeling at unease with the two Jedi. "I..I have to go now." I say weakly and run towards the door, Obi-Wan shouts after me, but i keep running.
I run down the stairs and keep running, trying to think of somewhere I can go, finally deciding on the landing pads. I change directions and slow my pace slightly. I smile a little as I reach the pads, I've always found comfort in being able to lose myself in a crowd. I sigh slightly, looking over the city and how it reminds me of the cities I travelled to on earth, but even Tokyo didn't have this kinda urban sprawl.
I start as I feel an arm wrap around my waist and without really thinking about it, I force up my shields and kick the being behind me hard in the shin. I hear a grunt of pain and turn, leaning my forearm against the attackers throat, driving them back to the wall. When I finally look up I look into the molten lava eyes of Darth Maul, looking startled but pleased. I growl deep in my throat and whirl, running in the opposite direction, trying wildly to think of somewhere I can be alone.
I grin and head towards the temple. Somehow, I don't think I will be disturbed there. I slow down as I reach it and walk up the steps and around into the gardens, walking slowly until I find a spot that is a little way off from the path and I sink down into half-lotus. I sigh softly and reach out to the feeling of the force around me, like being wrapped in a blanket while its raining outside. I smile and keep with my meditation, exploring the boundries of the force, how far I can reach already. I am jolted a little when I hear a stick snap close by and bring myself out of my meditation. I look up, only to see Luke Skywalker.
I blink in suprise. "Uhm...hi.." I manage. I stand up to leave only for Luke to catch my wrist and pull me down next to him on the near-by bench. I glance over at him and quickly away, knowing I wont stand a chance keeping composure with that worried smile and his gorgeous eyes.
He kisses my wrist softly. "Abi..what's wrong..?"
I shiver slightly and scrub my eye where a tear threatens to escape. //Many things. It would take me years to recount them all..//I think, outwardly I manage a smile and stand up. "I'm fine."
Luke tugs my wrist again and pulls me down, this time into his lap. "NO. You're not. You said it yourself, acceptance is the first step to cure." He teases quietly and I chuckle softly.
I smile genuinely this time. "I don't know what it is..I just feel...like all that defined me I left behind on earth..and now.." I sigh and shake my head.
"And now you're feeling lost?" He murmurs softly into the shell of my ear. I shiver slightly and nod. He hugs me against his strong chest as he wraps his mind around mine, tapping lightly on my shields. "Abi.." He whispers. "Please - Let me in. Let me help you heal." I flinch and carefully drop my shields and he slowly slides into my mind. My despair and loneliness comes flowing from my mind and his arms tighten around me.
I feel him going through the more prominent of my memories, but I slam my shields back into place before he sees kieran. "No," I whimper through tears. "Don't look at that." I finally break down, sobbing into his chest and he just sits, stroking my hair softly. I sit up slowly wiping the tears away from my red eyes. "I should go." I say after a long period of silence and Luke nods slightly.
He walks with me back to my building and I walk and up the stairs alone and into my room. I crawl into bed and nearly scream when I find something there next to me, until I realise that its Obi-Wan. I shiver and realise he's asleep, so I take my blanket and go lie down on the couch in the sitting room. I shiver and finally fall asleep, exhausted.
######
I woke up at the first crack of daylight and looked around for signs of life. I rub my eyes and stand up walking into the kitchen, hoping to find Abi, but she isn't there. I walk into the sitting room and there she is, curled up in a ball on the floor. I bite my lip and walk towards her. She rolls over and looks up at me and, smiles. I smile and kneel beside her. "Good morning, sweet." I whisper and she grins.
"Morning, Obi." She stretches and sits up and I kiss her cheek. "Did you sleep well in *my* bed?" She asks and I grin.
"Yeah..kinda got cold when someone ran off with my blanket though, and I *was* hoping for a human blanket." I add and she giggles and raises an eyebrow at me.
"I'll bet you were.." She adds and trails off to the kitchen for her morning hazelnut coffee.
"What happened to you last night? I was scared shitless." I ask, and Abi nearly chokes on her coffee cuz she's laughing too hard. /\What?/\ I ask with a grin. /\ Jedi can't ask questions?/\
She giggles in my head and I smile. /\ But seriously, What happened?/\ Her smile fades a little as she sips her coffee. /\Abi? /\ I add after a long silence and she looks up.
/\Yeah?/\ She asks slowly.
/\What happened?/\ I breath into her mind and she flinches.
/\ Ask Luke./\ She finishes after another long silence. /\ I'm going to have a shower, If you go, make sure you lock the door./\ She says and heads for the fresher.
I grab a handful of M&Ms, pull on my tunics and boots and head for the temple. I arrive there 15 minutes later and press the chime to Luke's room. He answers the door after a while looking more than a little tousled, which tells me he just got out of bed. He sees me and steps back, inviting me in. I step through and see the spartan quarters that are characteristic of any Jedi temple. I turn to face him. "What's wrong with Abi?" I ask, silencing the small talk before it can begin.
Luke sighs. "I saw her mind yesterday.." He starts and my eyes widen a little. "She has extreme mental scarring." I grimace, but Luke continues. " I saw some of it..but..she shut me out before I could see what was the most painful for her. If all the others were scars...that one is a broken leg." He finished and I flinch.
"Gods. What are we going to do?" I ask, sitting down slowly.
"We need to get through to her."
I nod. "How?"
"We need to do it again..with Qui and Yourself there...I think she is scared by it."
"Ok..I'll go and talk to Master about it, and then I'll talk to Abi. I'll talk to you later." I stand and leave, walking quickly back to the room that I share with Qui-Gon. I press my thumb to the lock and am nearly knocked over by Qui. Qui grabs the front of my tunic and pulls me inside.
"Is she alright?" He demands in a rumbling whisper, revealing his anxiousness.
"Yes, she was when I left her." He relaxes a little and lets go of my tunic. "Master, We need to help her." I start and relate my conversation with Luke to him and he grimaces.
"Ok. We must do it, and *SOON*." I nod and leave, walking over to Abi's rooms again to break the subject to her.
######
I step out of the fresher in time to here the door chimes to my room ring. I wrap my bathrobe around myself and walk to the door. I pull it open to see Obi-Wan and I flinch, remembering how cold I had been to him earlier. I step aside and he walks in.
"We need to talk." He says softly. I nod and sit down on the couch. Obi- Wan looks at me incredulously. "Get dressed, or there wont be much talking." I laugh and dissapear into my bedroom to get dressed. I walk out and sit next to Obi.
"Now. What's going on that worries you so?" I ask watching him carefully.
"Luke saw your mind yesterday.." I wince at the memory, but nod for him to keep going. "He saw some pretty..VERY bad scars." He says..his voice lowering to a whisper. I've been waiting for this. I knew it was going to happen one way or another.
I take a deep breath. "You want to heal them?" I ask softly, already knowing the answer. He nods. "When?" The word is barely a whisper.
Obi-Wan swallows. "As soon as possible, Tonight preferably." I bite my lip, forcing back tears.
"Alright." is all I can manage. He hugs me gently and kisses the top of my head. I turn my head and kiss him softly hugging him back. "Let's go..before I lose my nerve." I say and stand up, tugging on his hand. He smiles and stands up, wrapping an arm round my waist and leading me over to where his master and Luke Skywalker and waiting.
We enter and I am instantly drawn down to sit infront of and next to Qui and Luke, and Obi sits behind me, pulling me back to lean against his chest. "Just relax." He murmurs, and somehow, I do. Obi wraps his arms around me and I close my eyes, feeling the bond forming between the four of us, the three jedi that are willing to share my pain. The cords binding us all are finally secured and I sweep my presence over the top of them. /\You *sure* you wanna see this?/\ I ask, stopping before lowering my shields. The Jedi all nod, projecting their concern for me over the bond and I take a deep breath, slowly lowering my shields.
The warm presence of the three Jedi sinks into my mind and I feel Obi's presence start to sort through the scars. Memories coming slowly at first, the barely painful ones. My sadness of my parents divorce, the fights I had with my friends.
Then, its like diving into an icy lake. Memories of seeing my best friend throwing herself infront of a train, the knife scars on the inside of my wrist where my watch always is..Obi's arms tighten around me protectively and I feel the Jedi edge closer. Their minds slowly working up to the big one. My breath becomes shallow as they see the memories of Kieran. Meeting him, Spending time with him, Of him proposing to me. The tears are flowing freely and I bury my head into someones shoulder. Then comes the memory of Kieran and the crash. The blood, the despair. I scream in pain and then all is black.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Sorry bout all the angsty-ness. It wrote itself. Couldn't help it
~TBC~ IN PART 3.
Author: Abigael
Summary: The Jedi discover more about Abi
Disclaimer: Not my characters **if ONLY** I own myself tho. NO SUEING PLEASE. I'm just a lowly student and fan!
Feedback: Please please please please!!
AN: First part to the *actual* series. Enjoy. BTW this is un-betaed. All skrew ups are my fault.
Please Note: All fics are subject to mood swings. hehe.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------###### = Change P.O.V
/\ ...../\ = telepathy
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Qui-Gon looks up a little later at the end of the Jedi's conversation, their decision made. "Uhh.." He starts, a little puzzled. "Speaking of Abi..where *is* she??"
Obi-Wan laughs "And you call yourself a Jedi?!" Obi Wan asks in a Scornful tone and throws an M&M at Qui-Gon, who promptly sends it spinning back to hit his apprentice in the nose. Obi-Wan grumbles and searches for her presence in the force and finds it unconcious. "Don't worry. She's asleep. We should respect that." All three Jedi nod and Luke leaves the Padawan and Master's quarters.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I wake up slowly to find my room completely dark.
//HANG ON.// I look over towards my window to see...darkness. //Where the *hell*?! There was a skyscraper there when I fell asleep. And Coruscant is never dark like this.// I stay perfectly still, my head swimming. I hear the soft rustle of someone moving.
/\You are very observent. How did you sleep, little one?/\ comes the velvet mental-voice of Darth Maul, just before I see him step into my line of vision and kneel beside the bed.
I raise an eyebrow. /\ And you would be here because....?/\ His eyes are like Solar Flares as they lock onto mine.
/\ You are my apprentice. /\ I laugh softly and look him dead in the eye, not letting any thoughts that may show my fear cross my consiousness.
/\ I am no ones apprentice, Darth Maul. Not yours, not anyones. /\ I feel my anger surging forward, but calm myself. He will not get the better of me.
Maul merely smirks. /\ Ahh. You have a will of your own, I see. Very Well. We shall see in time. /\ And then, in a swirl of his black robes, he is gone.
I sigh and look over at the time...1. I get up and walk to the window, slipping behind the curtain and wrenching open the window. The unfamiliar, but still comforting lights of a city flood my bedroom. I sigh and smile looking around at the view the so reminded me of the one from my house on earth. A wall and the pink and blue glow of the city beyond. I grin and go back to bed.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Obi-Wan moves slowly over my body, planting kisses on my lips, neck and eyelids. He whispers into my mind and I groan and fall back onto my pillow. He slides down my body like a great snake, licking and nipping, down between my breasts and over my stomach, leaving a path of wildfire in his wake. Obi glances up at me, grinning at my engaged expression and spreads kisses down my thighs, slowly pulling them open...
I feel soft kisses pressed onto my cheek and my eyes flutter open, and Obi- Wan grins.
/\Pleasant dreams?/\ He tries to ask innocently and I blush, before hitting him over the head with a cushion. "What?!" He asks and I laugh.
"*VERY* funny. You do that again and I might haveta jump you." I grin and he smirks.
"That a promise?" He asks as I stumble from bed to make some coffee.
I giggle "Don't try me, paddlewan." He grins and jumps up onto the counter and I wince. "Well *someone* had their caffeine fix early this morning. What have you been upto while I slept..or don't I wanna know?" I ask slightly fearing the response.
He grins, slightly wickedly. "You shall see in time." He murmurs and a shiver runs rampent down my spine, as I remember the confrontation with Maul from earlier that morning. Obi-Wan has in the meantime dissapeared from the kitchen and I become instantly worried.
I raise an eyebrow and walk quietly out of the kitchen into my sitting room. I glance around but see no signs of the wicked padawan. I sigh and start back to the kitchen only to jump when I see Obi blocking my way back. "One thing I *will* say about Jedi..they certainly keep you on your toes." I say softly and Obi-Wan chuckles. I carefully slip past him, back into the kitchen and drink my coffee.
"Abi.." he whispers softly. " I...want to know..about you. There's something about you..that phrase I came up with the other night...your past..your future..I want us to know each other." I look up at him and smile.
"Well..I'm guessing you know the easiest way for us to do that? And if your prepared to see my past, I'll show it to you." I manage to smile slightly. "And I always wanted to know how Jedi ticked..."
Obi-Wan smiles. "First things first, though. You need to learn the basics of the force." I nod and he pushes me towards the fresher door. I look puzzled and he continues. "My master is waiting..." I grin and walk in closing the door behind me before Obi-Wan follows. I emerge fifteen minutes later in fresh clothes and look to Obi-Wan.
"Ready when you are." He grins and takes my hand, leading me back over to his rooms. He opens the door and I see Qui-Gon meditating on the floor and we walk in quietly, letting the door slide shut behind us.
Qui slowly comes out of his meditative state and smiles at me, motioning for me to sit opposite him. I do so and I feel the lightest brush against my mind, a bare tendril of the Master's force strength. "You *are* strong in the force.." He murmurs and I cant help but smile."First things first.." He says as his mind twines around mine. "Shielding." He shows me the force patterns for it and I mimick them and testing them carefully.
I smile. "Ok..what's next?"
Qui smiles. "Try and direct your thought at me." I nod and close my eyes, focusing on the warm tendril of thought that is Qui-Gon's mind, projecting a line I read on one of my lists about the many uses of the force in bed into his. He chuckles and I open my eyes and grin. "Did you catch that, Padwan?" Qui-Gon asks, after his laughter subsides.
A fairly blushing Obi-Wan responds, "Yes, I did." He raises an eyebrow at me and I raise my hands.
"Don't look at me! I didn't write it, although, the possibilities are truly remarkable..." I grin and trail off, seeing the slightly amused and slightly awkward looks on the Jedis faces.
Qui-Gon breaks the silence. "What you must do is shield our thoughts from anyone else," I feel more of his presence oozing along the outside of our bond surrounding it. I spread my mind along it and meet with Qui's cocooning in our conversation line. I hesitate.
/\ Is it working? /\ I project nervously.
The masters mental chuckle rumbles through my mind. /\ Indeed it is. You learn fast./\
I grin. /\ Thank you, Master Jinn /\
He smiles into my mind. /\Your meditation and relaxation techniques will serve you well./\
I raise an eyebrow. /\Shouldn't you *not* be browsing my memories while you teach me? If you wish to mesh with my mind..at least ask./\ I finish in mock disgust.
Qui-Gon laughs softly. /\My apologies. I do not wish to know anything you do not wish to share...Save one detail..How did you come to meet Obi-Wan, and how do you know so much about us?/\
It is my turn to laugh. /\ Are you *sure* you wish to know Master Jinn? /\ He frowns slightly, but nods his ascent. I project the memory of Obi-Wan and Yoda in the grocery store in my suburb, complete with cache of chocolate and alcohol. I bite back a giggle at his stunned reaction. /\ I warned you.../\ I almost taunt, and Qui-Gon laughs.
/\ And the second? I'm almost afraid to ask.../\ I grin and project a memory of the first time I had seen episode I, showing the awe and respect I had felt, and still do feel. While trying to filter out the magnitude of lust I have felt since that day..and failing miserably. The bond between Qui and I is silent as what he has seen and felt sinks in, I almost think he has severed the connection.
I pull back from our bond and open my eyes, flushing many and varied shades of red. I look up to see not only Qui-Gon, but Obi-Wan staring at me as well.
I shiver, suddenly feeling at unease with the two Jedi. "I..I have to go now." I say weakly and run towards the door, Obi-Wan shouts after me, but i keep running.
I run down the stairs and keep running, trying to think of somewhere I can go, finally deciding on the landing pads. I change directions and slow my pace slightly. I smile a little as I reach the pads, I've always found comfort in being able to lose myself in a crowd. I sigh slightly, looking over the city and how it reminds me of the cities I travelled to on earth, but even Tokyo didn't have this kinda urban sprawl.
I start as I feel an arm wrap around my waist and without really thinking about it, I force up my shields and kick the being behind me hard in the shin. I hear a grunt of pain and turn, leaning my forearm against the attackers throat, driving them back to the wall. When I finally look up I look into the molten lava eyes of Darth Maul, looking startled but pleased. I growl deep in my throat and whirl, running in the opposite direction, trying wildly to think of somewhere I can be alone.
I grin and head towards the temple. Somehow, I don't think I will be disturbed there. I slow down as I reach it and walk up the steps and around into the gardens, walking slowly until I find a spot that is a little way off from the path and I sink down into half-lotus. I sigh softly and reach out to the feeling of the force around me, like being wrapped in a blanket while its raining outside. I smile and keep with my meditation, exploring the boundries of the force, how far I can reach already. I am jolted a little when I hear a stick snap close by and bring myself out of my meditation. I look up, only to see Luke Skywalker.
I blink in suprise. "Uhm...hi.." I manage. I stand up to leave only for Luke to catch my wrist and pull me down next to him on the near-by bench. I glance over at him and quickly away, knowing I wont stand a chance keeping composure with that worried smile and his gorgeous eyes.
He kisses my wrist softly. "Abi..what's wrong..?"
I shiver slightly and scrub my eye where a tear threatens to escape. //Many things. It would take me years to recount them all..//I think, outwardly I manage a smile and stand up. "I'm fine."
Luke tugs my wrist again and pulls me down, this time into his lap. "NO. You're not. You said it yourself, acceptance is the first step to cure." He teases quietly and I chuckle softly.
I smile genuinely this time. "I don't know what it is..I just feel...like all that defined me I left behind on earth..and now.." I sigh and shake my head.
"And now you're feeling lost?" He murmurs softly into the shell of my ear. I shiver slightly and nod. He hugs me against his strong chest as he wraps his mind around mine, tapping lightly on my shields. "Abi.." He whispers. "Please - Let me in. Let me help you heal." I flinch and carefully drop my shields and he slowly slides into my mind. My despair and loneliness comes flowing from my mind and his arms tighten around me.
I feel him going through the more prominent of my memories, but I slam my shields back into place before he sees kieran. "No," I whimper through tears. "Don't look at that." I finally break down, sobbing into his chest and he just sits, stroking my hair softly. I sit up slowly wiping the tears away from my red eyes. "I should go." I say after a long period of silence and Luke nods slightly.
He walks with me back to my building and I walk and up the stairs alone and into my room. I crawl into bed and nearly scream when I find something there next to me, until I realise that its Obi-Wan. I shiver and realise he's asleep, so I take my blanket and go lie down on the couch in the sitting room. I shiver and finally fall asleep, exhausted.
######
I woke up at the first crack of daylight and looked around for signs of life. I rub my eyes and stand up walking into the kitchen, hoping to find Abi, but she isn't there. I walk into the sitting room and there she is, curled up in a ball on the floor. I bite my lip and walk towards her. She rolls over and looks up at me and, smiles. I smile and kneel beside her. "Good morning, sweet." I whisper and she grins.
"Morning, Obi." She stretches and sits up and I kiss her cheek. "Did you sleep well in *my* bed?" She asks and I grin.
"Yeah..kinda got cold when someone ran off with my blanket though, and I *was* hoping for a human blanket." I add and she giggles and raises an eyebrow at me.
"I'll bet you were.." She adds and trails off to the kitchen for her morning hazelnut coffee.
"What happened to you last night? I was scared shitless." I ask, and Abi nearly chokes on her coffee cuz she's laughing too hard. /\What?/\ I ask with a grin. /\ Jedi can't ask questions?/\
She giggles in my head and I smile. /\ But seriously, What happened?/\ Her smile fades a little as she sips her coffee. /\Abi? /\ I add after a long silence and she looks up.
/\Yeah?/\ She asks slowly.
/\What happened?/\ I breath into her mind and she flinches.
/\ Ask Luke./\ She finishes after another long silence. /\ I'm going to have a shower, If you go, make sure you lock the door./\ She says and heads for the fresher.
I grab a handful of M&Ms, pull on my tunics and boots and head for the temple. I arrive there 15 minutes later and press the chime to Luke's room. He answers the door after a while looking more than a little tousled, which tells me he just got out of bed. He sees me and steps back, inviting me in. I step through and see the spartan quarters that are characteristic of any Jedi temple. I turn to face him. "What's wrong with Abi?" I ask, silencing the small talk before it can begin.
Luke sighs. "I saw her mind yesterday.." He starts and my eyes widen a little. "She has extreme mental scarring." I grimace, but Luke continues. " I saw some of it..but..she shut me out before I could see what was the most painful for her. If all the others were scars...that one is a broken leg." He finished and I flinch.
"Gods. What are we going to do?" I ask, sitting down slowly.
"We need to get through to her."
I nod. "How?"
"We need to do it again..with Qui and Yourself there...I think she is scared by it."
"Ok..I'll go and talk to Master about it, and then I'll talk to Abi. I'll talk to you later." I stand and leave, walking quickly back to the room that I share with Qui-Gon. I press my thumb to the lock and am nearly knocked over by Qui. Qui grabs the front of my tunic and pulls me inside.
"Is she alright?" He demands in a rumbling whisper, revealing his anxiousness.
"Yes, she was when I left her." He relaxes a little and lets go of my tunic. "Master, We need to help her." I start and relate my conversation with Luke to him and he grimaces.
"Ok. We must do it, and *SOON*." I nod and leave, walking over to Abi's rooms again to break the subject to her.
######
I step out of the fresher in time to here the door chimes to my room ring. I wrap my bathrobe around myself and walk to the door. I pull it open to see Obi-Wan and I flinch, remembering how cold I had been to him earlier. I step aside and he walks in.
"We need to talk." He says softly. I nod and sit down on the couch. Obi- Wan looks at me incredulously. "Get dressed, or there wont be much talking." I laugh and dissapear into my bedroom to get dressed. I walk out and sit next to Obi.
"Now. What's going on that worries you so?" I ask watching him carefully.
"Luke saw your mind yesterday.." I wince at the memory, but nod for him to keep going. "He saw some pretty..VERY bad scars." He says..his voice lowering to a whisper. I've been waiting for this. I knew it was going to happen one way or another.
I take a deep breath. "You want to heal them?" I ask softly, already knowing the answer. He nods. "When?" The word is barely a whisper.
Obi-Wan swallows. "As soon as possible, Tonight preferably." I bite my lip, forcing back tears.
"Alright." is all I can manage. He hugs me gently and kisses the top of my head. I turn my head and kiss him softly hugging him back. "Let's go..before I lose my nerve." I say and stand up, tugging on his hand. He smiles and stands up, wrapping an arm round my waist and leading me over to where his master and Luke Skywalker and waiting.
We enter and I am instantly drawn down to sit infront of and next to Qui and Luke, and Obi sits behind me, pulling me back to lean against his chest. "Just relax." He murmurs, and somehow, I do. Obi wraps his arms around me and I close my eyes, feeling the bond forming between the four of us, the three jedi that are willing to share my pain. The cords binding us all are finally secured and I sweep my presence over the top of them. /\You *sure* you wanna see this?/\ I ask, stopping before lowering my shields. The Jedi all nod, projecting their concern for me over the bond and I take a deep breath, slowly lowering my shields.
The warm presence of the three Jedi sinks into my mind and I feel Obi's presence start to sort through the scars. Memories coming slowly at first, the barely painful ones. My sadness of my parents divorce, the fights I had with my friends.
Then, its like diving into an icy lake. Memories of seeing my best friend throwing herself infront of a train, the knife scars on the inside of my wrist where my watch always is..Obi's arms tighten around me protectively and I feel the Jedi edge closer. Their minds slowly working up to the big one. My breath becomes shallow as they see the memories of Kieran. Meeting him, Spending time with him, Of him proposing to me. The tears are flowing freely and I bury my head into someones shoulder. Then comes the memory of Kieran and the crash. The blood, the despair. I scream in pain and then all is black.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Sorry bout all the angsty-ness. It wrote itself. Couldn't help it
~TBC~ IN PART 3.
