I'm so tired of being here, Lithuania thought as he turns around another corner in Russia's house. He sighed and kept going, heading for his room to get at least some sleep in the night. I know I could leave but I'm too terrified to leave. He shivers as he thinks of the reasons he stays. Russia would punish me if I left without permission. He sighs again and shakes his head. I hate being suppressed by all my childish fears. It's so stupid to be afraid of him, yet...he's too scary not to be afraid of.
He comes up to his door and opens it only to his the man he's been thinking about sitting, waiting, for him on his bed. Toris stared at the platinum blonde's freaky eyes and instantly started to shiver. He can't help it when he shivers in Russia's presence; the Russian had frightened all of the Baltics to the point they shiver almost all the time, and they can't stop stuttering. He would sigh again, but only cringed as Russia smiled at him. "You're ready, da?" Lithuania knew this was going to happen so Russia didn't need to ask, but the Russian loves to see the smaller country's body tremble from fear and the fear consume his face. The brunette looked at the floor, clenched the door knob, and nodded. Russia's smile increased. "Great. Now come over here."
"Y-yes s-s-sir." The Lithuanian's hand trembled as he closed the door and walked over to Ivan, ready to take whatever was coming.
Moments later, Russia climbed out of bed, pleased with what just happened. Lithuania stayed curled up in the bed and regretted what just happened. It's been happening for decades, almost centuries, now, but he still can't get use to it and he hates it. Russia patted the little figure's head and bent down to whisper into the other's ear. "I have to leave." Lithuania jumped and the Russian chuckled. "But I'll be back, da?"
I wish that you would just leave. Lithuania looked at the back of the other as he left the room, lightly closing the door. He tried to smile, but the frown that was on his face wouldn't move into anything else. He pulled his legs closer to his body, holding them and resting his head against his knees. His eyes stung as the usual tears started to prick at his ducts, wanting to pour out. His body shuddered as he gave in and cried. Even though that the Russian wasn't in the room, he could still feel his presence. His presence is still here, Lithuania closed on himself some more, it just won't leave me alone, will it?
His body still shivered and it caused the new pain to hurt worse than before. He groaned a bit. Damn wounds, he moved his head to where he could look at his body a bit closer, they just won't seem to heal. His body was covered in either big bruises or little ones. No matter where they were, they still covered his body. The thin man closed his eyes and pushed his head back against his knees. "W-why m-m-me?" He envisioned the other times that Russia raped him and his breathe hitched. No matter what, the pain...it's just too real. He was crying harder, but still quietly. And it's sucks, he sniffled and moved his head to a pillow to smother in, there's just too much that time cannot erase. He started to wail, but the pillow muffled the sound to make it into a small cry. He doesn't usually break like this, crying to the point he'll almost scream into a pillow, but this time he just couldn't hold his feelings back.
Russia stood outside the door, frowning and listening to the now wailing Lithuanian that's in pain. He had been standing in front of the door ever since he closed it, and just stood there, listening as the man on the other side cried. The Lithuanian may have been quiet, but Russia could still hear him; his hearing is very helpful, but sometimes he hates being able to hear things all too well. Ivan leaned against the door as quietly as he could so he wouldn't alert the other of his presence. He closed his own eyes and imagined what Lithuania looked like as he cried; he has seen the country cry before, but always made a point to leave before he could actually witness him cry from the pain given to him by...
Russia stopped thinking for a moment, still heard the crying, and sighed. I could wipe away your tears, da? He suddenly imagined him doing so, and the Lithuania in his mind didn't shiver from the action. Russia smiled. And if you screamed, I'd fight away all of your fears. He chuckled a bit. I've held your hand, maybe forcefully, but I've held it through all these years. He opened his eyes and put a hand over his heart. "You have all of me, da?" He whispered.
After a moment of staying near the door, he stood straight and walked away; he didn't want to hear Lithuania's pain anymore. He made his way to his study, glaring at the other two Baltics who rushed out of the room, and plopped into his chair. He swiveled around a bit, then started to remember when and why he started doing all of this. He thought about it and suddenly remembered when he met Lithuania; he was captivated by his resonating light, and he hates the light. He couldn't help but be bound to the life the other lived and lives now. Every time he thought about anything, Lithuania's face would appear in his mind and he'd stop to concentrate on the face. He couldn't help the fact that he dreamed of the other, either; Toris would just appear in Ivan's dreams and torment him, or at least that's what the Russian believed. Also his voice... Russia sat up in his chair and looked out at the books surrounding him. It annoyed the Russian that Lithuania's voice could chase away all the sanity in him, the sanity that he had left anyway.
He sighed which sounded like a growl. He hated all these things; the light; the haunted dreams; the voice and his sanity. He hated them to the point he started to take his annoyance out on Lithuania himself, which meant he'd torture him, cut him, insult him, or just rape him. He enjoyed raping him even if it did hurt the other insanely. Russia knew this and yet it was also giving him pain. Mental wounds. They never healed; they just got worse and were too real for the Russian. Throughout all this time that he's been doing this, time has done nothing but worsen the wounds he held. No. The wounds that they both held.
Ivan sighed again and stood up, strolling over to a window to peer out of. He's tried so hard to tell himself that Lithuania will be gone in the near future, but he's still with him. Russia rested on his arm against the window, feeling the cold glass go through his jacket, and rested his forehead on the limb. He stared out at the white world before him, and couldn't help but think one thing. I've been alone all along. No one is really here, at least not for themselves. His frown showed once more. "Da, I'm alone; I've always been alone." I hate being alone.
He stopped leaning against the window and headed for Lithuania's room again. As he opened the door, he heard the hitched whimper and the instant stop of crying. He shivered at the silence, closed the door, and slowly made his way over to the other. Lithuania was still curled up and smothering his face into the pillow. Russia shook his head, took his jacket off, and laid in bed with the other. Lithuania was shivering again and it started to irritate the Russian, but he ignored the obvious fright and hugged the smaller country from behind. The Lithuanian was shocked by this movement; sure, Russia does this sometimes, but the embrace never held such care. Russia put his head in the nook of Lithuania's neck. I'm sorry. He thought. He'd never say it aloud, and he hoped he didn't need to. "I'm back." He whispered without any type of evil or creepiness tied with it.
Lithuania's body slowly stopped shaking, and he let the warm embrace continue. "I know." He said to the other man. Russia nuzzled the other's neck and held him tightly. When I'm with Lithuania, he thinks to himself, I don't feel alone anymore.
Note: This is so far the longest one for a simple song story. I don't usually write LithuaniaXRussia, but as soon as i listened to the song, this just came to me. Yes what i do is when i have a song request i listen to the song over and over again until i finished the story entirely so that i keep my mind process working. I have to say, Russia isn't like himself, but...I'm just not use to doing any type of love story with Russia. I may like reading them, but i'm not use to writing them.
I hope this is all right. Like i said: I've never done a Lithuania and Russia paired story before, as you can all see, but i did it!
Thanks for reading! R&R.
Disclaimer: I forgot to put it in the last one, so the will count for both of them since i'm too lazy to go back and add it to Imaginary. I do not own Hetalia or the songs. Though i love both things i sadly don't own them :(
